April

The Classic Motorcycle Club P.O. Box 7709, Albermarle, 1410

The Master Link

Vol.48 - No. 4 – April 2013

www.classicmotorcycleclub.co.za

Contented Page: 02 Page: 05 Page: 06 Page: 07 Page: 09 Page: 11 Page: 12 Page: 18 Page: 19 Page: 22 Page: 24 Page: 32 Page: 35 Page: 38 Page: 40 Page: 44 Page: 49 Page: 50 Page: 52

Calendar of Events/ New Members/ Notice Board Perpetual Motion Editorial Letters News – Bill D to attend HD 110th celebrations in SA Trip Report – Bob & Marlene’s visit to the Ace Upcoming Events Guess the Bike Bits & Pieces Feature – Looking Back JD Rally Report Event – Spectating at the Centenary JD JD 2013 – The Inside Story Technical Trickery Marketplace Humour Faces CMC Committee Riding Shotgun

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Calendar of Events April 2013 07

14 17 21

Club Sunday - Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: Everything Italian – Ducati, Laverda, Moto Guzzi, Moto Morini, Gilera, Itom Club Run – SSOB Club Night Piston Ring

May 2013 05 12 15 19 TBA TBA

Club Sunday - Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: Off Road Day Club Run – Cool Run – Contact Tim 082 629 2961 Club Night – 1000 Bike Show meeting Piston Ring Natal Classic – CMC Natal Ride to VVC – Contact Pierre 072 513 9432

June 2013 01 02 09 09 15 16 19

Benoni High School Wheels Day – Contact Charles Gardner 082 824 9731 Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: Honda Club Run DJ Remembrance Run – Contact Pierre 072 513 9432 Vintage Moto Cross – Eastern Cape Piston Ring Final 1000 Bike Show meeting

July 2013 06/07 14 21 24 TBA

1000 Bike Show – Germiston High School Club Run Piston Ring 1000 Bike Show wrap up and report back Natal CMC Bike Show

August 2013 04 04 10 11 18 21 TBA

Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: Triumph Cars in the Park – POMC Vintage Moto cross – Gauteng Club Run? Piston Ring Club Night? Magnum Rally – Contact POMC [2]

September 2013 01

Club Sunday - Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: BSA 08 Club Ride TBA SAVVA AGM 15 Piston Ring Swap meeting 18 Club Night? 21/22 Social Vinduro – Clarens 20-24 CMC Convention October 2013 06 13 16 20 27

Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: All other Japanese except Honda CMC Winter Rally Contact – Pierre 072 513 9432 Club Night? Piston Ring Inter Provincial VMX – Venue to be advised

November 2013 03 10 17 20

Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: American Day, Harley Davidson, Indian etc Club Ride Piston Ring AGM

December 2013 01 01 08 13 15

Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: Scooter Day Kiddies Xmas Party Club ride in aid of charity Chairman’s Braai Piston Ring

Please note that all CMC rides meet at the Clubhouse at 08:00 and depart at 09:00 unless otherwise stated.

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Welcome New Members Gary Barnes - BMW and James Ivor Anderson - Triumph Ernie Barendse - Zundapp and Honda Welcome Back: Tiago Rodriques - Yamaha and Honda

Notice Board NB: Bank Transfers and/or Direct Deposits - Please note that when paying any amount into the Club’s account, use your name as a reference. Without this information we cannot reconcile who paid what for which. It would help tremendously if your transfer/deposit confirmation could be faxed to the Treasurer on 086 672 8941 with full details!

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Perpetual Motion Well the JD has come and gone. Well done to Kevin Robertson for his sixth overall win. CMC fielded the most riders in the event and well done to all that finished. Due to increased costs we have no alternative but to increase the cost of drinks at the CMC bar, we tried to keep the increases as low as possible. The Postal Strike has played havoc with Magazine deliveries, I urge you to consider receiving your magazine electronically. Please drop me an email at [email protected] and I will add you to the list. The arrangements for the 1000 Bike Show has started, if you can assist, please drop me a line. The VMC has moved to the premises of VVC, this left them with a problem with room for their library. It was decided that the VMC library will merge with the CMC Library. The same privileges will be afforded to VMC members. Safe Riding Pierre

Kevin Robertson on his way to winning his sixth DJ title.

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Editorial So much to do… So the JD Centenary has come and gone. I’m sure you’ll all join me in congratulating Kevin Robertson on winning his sixth DJ title; that is a phenomenal achievement. To all those that completed the rally: well done, especially to those that carried the flag for the CMC. I’m sure everyone is already looking forward to next year’s event. This month is jam packed with exciting runs and events. There’s the SSOB run (Singles, Side valve & Obsolete Bikes) being held on the 14th. The Daffodil Run to Sabie is being held on the 19th to the 21st and promises to be a legendary event yet again, as well as the first ever CBX run to the Green Lantern Inn at Van Reenen’s on the same weekend (and boy did I have difficulty in choosing which one to go on). Plus there are the usual club gatherings and meetings. We urge you to attend the Wednesday night meetings, especially as we are planning for the upcoming 1000 Bike Show. Aah, the 1000 Bike Show. This year promises to be bigger and better, with lots of exciting ideas being thrown around and things being planned. If you would like to get involved, or would like to display your bikes at the show, please get in touch with any of the committee members, or just join us at the next Wednesday night meeting. Many thanks once again to all those who contributed so generously to the magazine this month. We have a lot of interesting reports and articles on offer, especially regarding the JD Rally, which makes for some interesting reading. If you have any articles you’d like to submit, any stories you’d like to share, restorations that you’d like to show off or jokes you want to tell, please send them to me at [email protected] and I’ll be sure to put them in the next edition. Right, enough chit-chat and warra-warra from me. I hope you have a fantastic month; and don’t forget to put some miles on those classics. Till then, Keep it upright! T!M

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Letters Dear Editor and Members I am trying to locate a 1954 Triumph Tiger 110 motorcycle which belonged to my father, Graeme Cuffley (nickname "Oefie"). My father collected the Triumph brand new from the UK factory in 1954 and traveled around the UK for eleven months, including one month on the Isle of Man, before returning to South Africa with the Triumph following on a cargo ship. The Triumph remained with my father, who resided in Wychwood, until he sold it to Ainsley Collet who as far as I know was a member of CMC and who subsequently sold the Triumph in about 1983/84. From there I am not sure what happened to the Triumph. I am hoping that one of your members may be able to provide information regarding the present whereabouts of the Triumph. If anybody knows anything which may be of help please contact me on 0828543275 or [email protected] Thank you Lance Cuffley

Dear Editor I have just written a new BSA Gold Star book -- The Gold Star Buyer's Companion -- that I think should be of interest to many of your members. Attached is a jpeg of the cover, and you can find a full description of the book's contents and my biography at the following website, from which the book also can be ordered: https://www.createspace.com/4194981 In the book I acknowledge the late John Gardner, technical officer of the UK Gold Star Owner's Club in the 1990s, for helpful suggestions and corrections to the first edition, and this current volume contains considerable additional material, some of which is very hard to find. Thank you in advance for helping bring this book to the attention of your members. Sincerely Charles Falco

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12 Rooibekkie Road Birch Acres KEMPTON PARK 1618 Email: [email protected] 6 March 2013 DONATION OF WOOL Dear Editor We wish to thank the Classic Motor Cycle Club for their donation of wool to our charity. As we are starting a Youth Training Program to teach mentally and physically challenged youngsters to knit, this wool will be used for this project. As there are 90 youths to teach during 2013 it would be fantastic if you could see your way round the possibility of having a “Wool Run” for us, based along the lines of the toy drive, but collecting wool instead of toys. See the attached article which appeared in the Kempton Kempton Express on 28 February:February:

Thank you once again. Kind regards Barbara 079 461 8015 [8]

News Bill Davidson to visit Harley-Davidson 110th anniversary celebrations in SA Submitted by Brian Hough William J. "Bill" Davidson*, Vice President of the Harley-Davidson Museum, will visit South Africa for the first time to join the iconic brand's 110th Anniversary celebration at Africa Bike Week from 26 to 29 April 2013. Harley-Davidson is celebrating 110 years of freedom, self-expression and epic adventures. South Africans will have an opportunity, for the first time, to meet the current face of the Harley-Davidson legacy Bill Davidson. Davidson said, "I am looking forward to Africa Bike Week and joining our fans in South Africa in celebrating Harley-Davidson's 110th Anniversary. It's always a pleasure to meet, speak with and ride alongside Harley-Davidson enthusiasts." "I am particularly excited to visit South Africa as we recognise the enormous growth potential this region has for the Harley-Davidson brand and we have big plans to expand in to the African continent," says Davidson. Davidson, the great-grandson of co-founder William A. Davidson and the son of William G. "Willie G." Davidson, Chief Styling Officer Emeritus, started riding motorcycles at the age of seven. He joined the company in 1984 and held various leadership positions before taking on his current role. Throughout his 28-year career with the company, Davidson has focused on strengthening the Harley-Davidson brand and relationships with riders around the world. "Don't miss" activities at Africa Bike Week which include official Harley-Davidson and dealer exhibitions, non-stop live entertainment, a ride-in bike show, bars and food vendors, free Harley test rides and a mass ride-out. For more information about Africa Bike Week or to keep up to date on Bill Davidson's South Africa trip, visit www.africabikeweek.co.za or Like our Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/HarleyDavidsonAfrica. About the Harley-Davidson 110th anniversary: The Harley-Davidson 110th Anniversary is a yearlong, global celebration connecting millions of Harley-Davidson fans across the globe united by a common bond and shared passion for freedom, self-expression and epic adventure. Included in the official 110th Anniversary calendar are 12 different 110th Anniversary experiences that Harley-Davidson [9]

will bring to existing motorcycle events in global markets throughout 2013. The events span 11 countries on six continents and will be capped by two main celebration events in Rome, Italy, in June 2013 and Milwaukee during Labour Day weekend in August 2013. Harley-Davidson fans are invited to learn more about the 110th Anniversary and join the celebration online where they can share videos, images and experiences on Facebook, Twitter with the hashtag #HD110, and at www.h-d.com/110. *William J. "Bill" Davidson, Vice President of the Harley-Davidson Museum, is proud to work with the talented team that manages one of the largest corporate archival collections of unrestored Harley-Davidson motorcycles and artefacts in the world. As the Museum's top executive, Davidson is responsible for overseeing its overall business including marketing communications, special event activities and daily operations. Davidson, the great-grandson of founder William A. Davidson and the son of William G. "Willie G." Davidson, Chief Styling Officer Emeritus, started riding motorcycles at the age of seven. He joined the company in 1984 and held various leadership positions before taking on his current role. Throughout his 28-year career with the company, Davidson has focused on strengthening the Harley-Davidson brand and relationships with riders around the world. Davidson lives in the Milwaukee area and earned a Bachelor's degree in Business Administration from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee.

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Trip Report OUR VISIT TO ACE CAFÉ LONDON Sunday 6 January 2013 Bob and Marlene Hooper were visiting their son Adrian in London when they decided to take a trip to Ace Café in London on Saturday 6 January 2013. We set off from Finsbury Station on the Underground which took us just on an hour to arrive at our destination Stonebridge Park Station –west of London. We took a short walk of approximately 3 blocks with Ace Café in sight. On arrival, we were met by several bikes and scooters in the parking area. We then walked into the ground floor area which consisted of a super Restaurant, bikes on display that everyone dreams of, a shop which contained T-shirts, badges, coffee mugs, posters and many other interesting items and of course being in London – wow the cost with our exchange rate. The Bikes on Display can be seen in the photos herewith. We then moved on and had a bite to eat and as can be seen from the photographs a great meal with others in our midst. We chatted to other bikers who had dropped in for a snack and then on their way again. A great morning was had even though it was a little cold. Our return trip seemed to be a lot quicker, but will definitely be back again when they have their meeting on a Sunday morning. Bob and Marlene Hooper

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Upcoming Events 27TH CMC CONVENTION 2013 20 TO 24 SEPTEMBER 2013 Due to popular demand, we have secured Jock Sabie Lodge for the above event. This will be our 11th Convention at their venue. The whole venue has been booked out to our Club and we had to put down a rather large deposit. Accommodation is limited and will be done on a “first come, first served” basis. Accommodation will be R250.00 per person per night. The Gala Evening’s dinner is at a rate of R160,00 per person. Details of this will be available at a later stage. Regalia still have to be sorted out, where after rates will be available on the bookings forms. It will consist of a Golf Shirt, Cap and Badge. Due to the large deposit made to the lodge, it will be necessary to raise a R500.00 booking fee from participants, which will then be deducted from the final sum as per the booking form. Our suggested agenda will be as follows: Friday 20th – Arrival and a braai in the evening. Bring your own meat. The Club will supply pap, sauce, bread rolls and a green salad. Saturday 21th – In the morning a run will be arranged, details to be announced later. In the evening we will be entertained by Ken Thomas. Sunday 22th – Another run will be organized for the morning. I am sure similar braai arrangements can be made for the Sunday evening or maybe a lovely meal in the Restaurant at own expense. Monday 23rd – A free leisure day, unless something interesting crops up in the meantime. The same forms as two years ago will be forwarded on request for completion and return to the Organizing Committee. There will be NO CAMPING FACILITIES! As most participants prefer the same rooms as they had in the years before, it is necessary for you to contact Rita on: 083 774 6798, 011 764 3798 or email: [email protected] at your earliest convenience.

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Fragram Natal Classic Motorcycle Rally Hi All The Fragram Natal Classic Motorcycle Rally will be coming up on the weekend of 24-25 May 2013, with the closing date on the 23rd of April. Entry forms and Supplementary Regulations are available on our website: www.ncmc.org.za Many thanks Rod Thomas Chairman Natal Classic Motorcycle Club 073 365 6494

Walkerville Agricultural Show Good day Pierre and Members As per our telephone conversation please find attached the booking form as well as the leaflet for the Walkerville Agricultural Show taking place at the Walkerville Showgrounds the 13-14 April 2013. There will be 24 hour security as we have other vehicle exhibitors. Please if possible can you send us some photos so we could load onto our website (www.walkervilleagri.co.za) so people will have a taste of what is to be shown on the days. If you have any question please do not hesitate to contact me. Look forward to seeing the motorcycles at the show.

Regards Ariel Wepener 078 223 9238 (011) 949 2834

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SABIE DAFFODIL RUN The Daffodil run to Sabie is on the weekend 19th, 20th & 21st April 2013

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WHAT The Daffodil is a social gathering of Classic and Italian motorcyclists in the beautiful ET region to enjoy a break and some of the greatest roads in RSA. It is an unofficial event so no entry fee!! Wives, girlfriends welcome. Inexpensive self-catering accommodation If you haven’t a Classic or Italian bring your modern VENUE is the Sabie Star self-catering self-catering Chalets located 2.5 kays from Sabie on the RHS of the Hazyview road (“The 22”) Those who ride together usually meet 8 for 8:30am on the Friday at the he Argent Total Petroport on the N12 ( 80 kays out of JHB ) and take the Schoemanskloof route turning off towards Sudwala Caves to Sabie. COSTS This is an informal gathering so there is no entry fee and no sweep The Chalets are self-catering catering with fridge hotplates h kettle crockery and cutlery – bring your own towels. Bedding is supplied. Accommodation: R 180 per person per night Two bed chalets are also available You must book directly with Nick at Sabi Star Chalets: 079 387 1868 or [email protected] FOOD Potjie will be served at the Boma Friday at R85 per head, and Braaipacks and trimmings on Saturday also at R85 per head. A cash bar will also be available at the Boma Braaiwood is supplied free. The Woodsman is just up the road, with a well-stocked well SPAR and bottlestore opposite PROGRAM Arrive Friday settle in meet friends, ride, or hit the Woodsman… Friday evening socialize in the Boma Saturday Morning 9:30 gather for a run out to White River, and then on to lunch at ‘Gumtreez’ Saturday evening Braai andd socialize in the Boma Queries Jan Minnaar 073 203 6460 [17]

Guess The Bike These little Italian machines were introduced at the 1957 Milan Show and featured either 125cc two stroke or a 98-125cc four stroke single cylinder engines. The company was so sure of their new model that they produced a 14 page brochure, which suggested the owner could go shooting, camping, fishing or to work, and spend the weekend on the "most versatile, most desirable of motor vehicles".

Can you guess what it is? The answer is on the last page.

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Bits & Pieces CMC Submitted 13 03 18

THE PASSING PARADE AT THE PAVILLION…

It was all happening in the Zoo - another blast day at the Pavillion! There was this crowd with ‘Brat Pack’ emblazoned backs in high spirits gathered around a brand new MV 675 Brutale resplendent with Italian styling flair finished off with three short stub pipes hooked out one side... No Priscilla they were not with IMOC who occupied the table behind them. They were doing photo shots with each of the pack posing on the machine and agitated owner crouched behind supporting it from toppling over or domino-ing all the adjacent irons. What an ideal place is the Pavillion on the first Sunday to show off your new iron?? Eight ayem and the place was already buzzing - Jimmy and Nadia had grabbed the pole position table, and it was not long before we saw the first Guzzi pulling in - none other than long term IMMOCCER James Bosch raucous with new silencers on his T3 who joined us recounting how he never noticed he lost a silencer on his last run, parked the bike in a dark corner of the garage and only discovered weeks later he was sans pipe! Put me onto the website about the new 125 horse Beemer Boxer 35% water cooled motor, with heads twisted 90o, the water cooling via annular channels recessed into the cylinders and roofed by the heads – awesome! Joined by Bob Hooper and Peter Goat, who is seriously looking for a 750 Duke crank; Butch of the large Warehouse and multitudinous bikes; and also Barney’s mate Kim Kitchen. West-siders Jan Weppie and veteran CMC member John Wakeling pitched having ridden through on the V7 and R100RS respectively. Mike Haydon stopped by seriously lowering the tone of our Italian table. But volunteered help to populate the Itey stand at the Thousand Bike Show, as did Phil Skinner – who came up with some excellent ideas, and Tony Dodsworth also offering help. Also saw Cyril Coetzee our mate from a previous VEE Twin Rally who is leaving for a two week fishing holiday in Richards Bay – tough life for us pensioners!! The Classics breakfast is a CORKER! Those volunteers produce one R35 English brekkie every minute and early average waiting time was four minutes; later, a bit longer when the crowds really packed in. That brekkie makes it – elsewhere have waited endlessly to pay double for less – take a bow Ladies! Met past Pres Graham explaining the Cousin Kev appellation which was coined by Keith ‘Shortman’ Gunning ‘cos of a similarity with a distant relative Kev. And further West-siders (members from the other side of the mine dumps Priscilla) Alan Houston and Clive no doubt stealing

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parts out of the containers… Brian and Rita selling spares and told of the Convention on again this year at the Jock to much acclaim. Went and threatened Harpin in the Library and one day later an excellent article on early Italians arrived! Thank you, sir! Chairman Pierre flat out on short finals for the imminent DJ …err, JD. Ed Tim Romans tells of the Honda CBX six get together coming up in April - talk about a plethora of cylinders! Barry ‘Dr Livingstone’ Mee and well travelled hound showed Phil Moser and self photo’s of his recent R100 Beemer trip (again) into the wilds of Lesotho to see the highest waterfall in S Hemisphere – No Priscilla NOT the Katse dam but the Maletsunyane Falls, a single cataract on a tributary of the Orange River with a drop of 192 meters. Some interesting Nortons present – a totally unrestored but everything there 1957 19S 600 ohv single on a trailer at somewhat opportunistic price, and then one Colin arrived on an immaculate silver 850 Commando, and immediately afterwards found Don Burnett decrying the vagaries of the carbs on his Interstate Commando, so put him onto Wakeling - who can rebuild Nortons in his sleep.

Ran into Willie and Doreen Struckmeyer, and Mariette who swears she is not going to damage anymore bridges or scare motorists! The Traditional Triumph guys were there after their very successful Triumph day at the Piston Ring premises last Saturday – including Mike McManus who resuscitated my mate Jan’s 82000 kay three-potter when it threw a tantrum, and Duncan who has been instrumental in the long life of my one… Mates Geoff and Heather popped in preparatory to taking a three week trip through the Cape – if I could only justify going with! A somewhat tired Howie Stafford pitched up, having just left the Hayabusa Rally in Colesburg earlier this ayem… No Sunday would be complete without running into the sole remaining founder member of the glorious CMC club one Mike White - he of the dichotomous body-brain relationship… Enjoyed the stories of early Grasstracking days and exposé on sidecar stabilizing stunts. Seems Mike has a Guzzi for sale….

Man you see everyone and everything at the Pavillion Sundays - there’s no other scene like it!!

DISLODGED ROCKER When last did YOU see a Hesketh??

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Feature LOOKING BACK The facts of life as related to motorcycle restoration The major reason for the institution of the Classic Motorcycle Club was, of course to encourage by all means possible the restoration of Classic motorcycles. I would say judging by the amount of activity at the spares containers on the first Sunday of the month, that restoration activities are still at a fairly viable level. I think it would not be unfair to say that I have done my fair share of motorcycle rebuilds; by quick count the number stands at about 25, since the club’s inception. In the light of this experience I would now like to offer the following “facts of life” with respect to restoration. NOTE: My definition of a restoration is the process by which one transforms an unusable motorcycle into a usable one. 1) When looking for a bike to restore, the chance of buying the first one you see increases in proportion to how many are under consideration. 2) Initial inspection will reveal that the bike requires a rebore. It will be at full oversize. You will find this out only after you have paid for it. 3) On disassembly the nut which has refused to move after six weeks of treatment with penetrating oil, will be finger tight when you try to show someone how tight it is. 4)

The cheapest component to replace will be the easiest to find. And vice versa.

5) Every bike will have at least one nut of each size of spanner you do not own. Attempts with a shifting spanner will result in a rounded nut. 6) The components which you thought were going to be the easiest to obtain will have to be specially fabricated. 7)

The parts you ordered last will take the longest to arrive.

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The final cost of the rebuild will ALWAYS exceed the market value of that vehicle.

9)

There is no number nine

10) The time required for the rebuild can be calculated with the following formula: Estimated time(days) X 2 X no of children X no of wives/girlfriends. The number obtained should then be divided by the number of cups of coffee consumed per workshop session. NOTE: In the case of British bikes this would of course be cups of tea. 11)

The further along you get the more you will wonder why you started.

12) The number of kicks required to start your new restoration will be the square (cube in the case of Velocette’s) of the number of spectators. [22]

13) No matter how careful your research, in less than ten minutes of its first showing four people will have pointed out three things on the restoration that are not “original”. 14) The “grin” factor of the restoration cannot be mathematically related to the “grin” factor of riding it but they are both guaranteed to be high. Some possibly controversial definitions related to our hobby: 1) Motorcyclist: A person of any of the four sexes who rides a motorcycle. 2) Motorcycle enthusiast: Anybody (not necessarily a motorcyclist) who is enthusiastic to some degree about motorcycles 3) Enthusiastic motorcyclist: Anybody who enjoys riding motorcycles. Trying to keep things simple then by definition 1, we could say that no matter how or why or where you are riding a motorcycle whilst you do it you are a motorcyclist. Although there are those amongst us who seem to feel that one cannot be defined as a Motorcyclist unless one uses his motorcycle exclusively 24/7 whether one wants to or not. Definition 2 is nonspecific. It doesn’t state what kind of motorcycle you have to be enthusiastic about, and embraces everyone between he/she who will spend interminable hours in an often draughty and cold workshop fettling the two wheeler of his/her choice, all the way through to rabid one make owners club members. Definition 3 covers everyone who enjoys motorcycling from he who rides his R200000 Superbike racer replica 3Km’s to the pub every Friday night, to the bloke who blithely sets out to circumnavigate the world on a second hand Honda Xl 250, and every shade of non competitive and competitive riding in between. These definitions all overlap of course. I mean you couldn’t be purely a “group 3”; you would have to like motorbikes at least a little bit. Any more than you could be purely a “group 2” and not ever want to ever “see how it goes”. Which group are you? Me? I’m a strong “group 2” with various “group 3” leanings in certain specific areas. As for “group 1”, I never ride a motorcycle when I have to, only when I want to. MIKE WHITE

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JD Rally 2013 AMAZING SIXTH WIN FOR ROBERTSON IN CLASSIC MOTORCYCLE RALLY By Roger Houghton Kevin Robertson, a modest Velocette enthusiast from Pretoria, showed his outstanding ability on motorcycle regularity rallies when he won the three-day 2013 JD Rally from Johannesburg to Durban which finished at the coastal city on March 9 after overnight stops in Newcastle and Nottingham Road. This was his sixth win in this international annual event which this year celebrated the centenary of the original road race between the two cities, which was first run in 1913. Twenty races were held before the authorities put an end to the event in 1936 by banning racing on public roads as being too dangerous. It was then commemorated as a regularity trial from 1970 with all competing motorcycles having to be 1936 or earlier models. This year there were several machines that were more than 100 years old, with the two oldest, Humbers with pedal assistance, both completing the route.

Ian Holmes, chairman of the Vintage and Veteran Club, hands a commemorative 2013 JD Rally certificate to Gillian Stokes, who is in charge of the Protocol and Public Relations Department, International and Governance Relations Unit, for the eThekwini Municipality.

The significance of competing in a centenary event was underlined by an entry of more than 200 riders, 17 of them from outside the borders of SA. In the end 187 started from the Mall@Carnival with 135 qualifying as finishers after the 750km regularity rally where the riders had to average set speeds over a winding route using secondary roads, many of them part of the original race route.

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Robertson, who rode a 1936 Velocette MSS 500 which he restored to pristine condition himself, finished with a total error (early or late arrival at the 27 marshal points) of only 163 penalty points.. This put him 31 penalties ahead of Ralph Pitchford, who rode a 1926 Triumph P-type 500 and is best known as a very successful co-driver in the Dakar Rally.

Kevin Robertson (left), winner of the 2013 JD Rally seen with the magnificent Schlesinger Vase which was presented to him by Peter Elliot, of the Rand Motoring Club, which is the custodian of the historic trophy which was awarded to the winner of the second Johannesburg-Durban motorcycle road race in 1914 and now goes to the victor in the commemorative rally.

Ralph rode with his two brothers, David (1936 BSA B2 250) and Harold (1926 AJS A5 350), who finished 24th and 30th respectively. In third place was Andrew Lewis (1936 Norton Model 18 500), only 2 penalties behind, with Richard Lewis (not a relative, on a 1929 Sunbeam Model 5 500) a further 3 penalties in arrears in fourth position. Fifth overall was Stuart Ferguson with 200 penalty points. He rode a 1936 Velocette MAC 350. Awards for the lowest scores on each of the three days went to Mike Ward (1936 Velocette MSS 500), 35 points on Thursday, Ron Tomsett (1933 BSA Blue Star 500), 59 points on Friday, and Richard Lewis, 45 points on Saturday. Eleven women entered the event and at the finish the best placed was Beverly Jacobs, who rode a 1935 Triumph 2H 250 to 47th place overall. A woman rider who showed enormous determination to get to the finish was Samantha Anderson, who had to contend with a broken frame and lots of pedalling to reach the finish line in Hillcrest on her 1909 Humber 500 pedal cycle. Hans Coertse fared best of the riders on these 100-year-old machines, taking 62nd place on his 1911 Humber. The 2013 JD Rally, like all its predecessors, had many stories of heartbreak and disappointment for the competitors who not only had to contend with at times fractious machinery, but also weather conditions that ranged from scorching heat to mist, rain and even some hail.

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Ron Tomsett, who was very well placed after the first two days of the rally, riding the 1933 BSA Blue Star of his friend, Gavin Walton, who had been seriously injured in a road accident before the event, was involved in a collision with another competitor on the Saturday. Both ended up colliding with the Armco barrier and going over the handlebars and down the embankment. Neither was injured but it put an end to Tomsett’s challenge for victory.

Paddy Driver (right), one of South Africa’s best ever racing motorcyclists – he finished third in the 1965 500cc world championship behind Giacomo Agostini and Mike Hailwood – came to the Nottingham Road overnight stop to meet up with Alastair Gibson, former Honda F1 chief mechanic now turned sculptor, who rode his father’s BMW R5 on his second JD Rally.

There were a number of other mishaps, but fortunately nobody was seriously hurt. Alastair Gibson, the South African-born former chief mechanic of the Honda F1 team, had a good run on his father’s 1936 BMW R5 500 Super Sport (one of only 12 of these high performance derivatives to have been made by the famous German company). This was the second year he has competed on this event and this time he finished 118th after losing a lot of time helping other riders with mechanical problems on the second day. Another South African who is making it big in motorsport in Europe also made the pilgrimage to South Africa to ride in the centenary JD Rally. He is Brian Gush, originally of Port Elizabeth, who worked first at Ford Motorsport in SA and then at Volkswagen SA's engineering department before being transferred to the powertrain division of Bentley in England. He is now the motorsport manager of that famous company. Gush rode a 1931 BSA H32/9 550 loaned by Ian Holmes, chairman of the Vintage and Veteran Club. He finished 96th overall after picking up plenty of penalties on the Saturday, but said he very much enjoyed the experience.

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The actual finish of the rally was in Hillcrest, but on Saturday afternoon there was an impressive commemorative mass ride to a civic reception outside the Durban City Hall where the original race had either started or ended. The historic event was staged under the auspices of the SA Vintage and Veteran Association (SAVVA) and organised by a committee comprising members of many clubs with Pierre Cronje, chairman of the Classic Motorcycle Club, as the clerk of the course. Sponsors included: African Electroplating, Anderson Engineering, BMW South Africa, Bike SA, Cape Crane, Castrol, Classic Motorcycle Club, Feltra, Kargo, L & G Tools, Maizey Plastics, Nevsway Conveyor Supplies, Prepsol, Protea Metering, Randburg Coin, SA Vintage and Veteran Association, Stick-a-Tile, Sher-Light, Royal Enfield, Wimpy Standerton and Wynn’s. The top 10 finishers were: 1, Kevin Robertson (1936 Velocette 500 MSS), 163 points 2, Ralph Pitchford (1926 Triumph P-Type 500), 192 3, Andrew Lewis (1936 Norton 18 500), 194 4, Richard Lewis (1929 Sunbeam Model 5 500), 197 5, Stuart Ferguson (1936 Velocette MAC 500), 200 6, Geoff Johnson (1928 Sunbeam Model 7 500), 217 7, Dane Fraser (1935 Ariel Red Hunter 500), 224 8, Martin Davis (1930 Sunbeam Model 9 500), 227 9, Sean Crookes (1935 Excelsior Manxman 350), 230 10, Mike Ward (1936 Velocette MSS 500), 235 Herewith, some photos from the event: Khaya Nkonyane, of the Blaque Diamonds Motorcycle Club of Soweto, enjoyed his first JD Rally, riding a 1935 Zundapp on loan from Peter Hall. He experienced electrical problems on the first day, but then completed the course on days 2 and 3. This was only his second rally after competing in the Pre-DJ Rally and now he is keen to get his own classic motorcycle to do more rallying. The motorcycle he rides normally is a 2012 Honda Fireblade.

[27]

Ian Holmes (left), chairman of the Vintage and Veteran Club, presents the Clerk of the Course trophy to Pierre Cronje.

The Pitchford brothers, Harold, Ralph and David, all diminished the 2013 JD rally in high positions, nd rd st with Ralph 2 , David 23 and Harold 41

Ralph Pitchford was presented with his second place award by Pam Robertson, wife of the overall winner, Kevin.

[28]

Ralph Pitchford, best known as a very successful co-driver on the Dakar Rally, finished second on the 2013 JD Rally on a 1926 Triumph P-Type 500.

Gawie Nienaber (left) winner of the award for the best performance by a BMW motorcycle received a unique trophy made for Alastair Gibson, the South African who was formerly the Chief Mechanic on the Honda F1 team and is now a sculptor. Alastair also rode a BMW on the JD Rally.

Alastair Gibson, the South African who was formerly the Chief Mechanic on the Honda F1 team, on his father’s 1936 BMW R5 Super Sport on the start line after the overnight stop in Newcastle.

[29]

BMW SA loaned the organisers two BMW cars, an X6 and a 5-Series Hybrid, for the use of the Clerk of the Course, Pierre Cronje, and paramedic Gideon Nel, who are seen here at the Newcastle restart with BMW riders Richard Hulsbos (1936 R5 500) and Gawie Nienaber (1935 R12 750). Nienaber th placed 26 overall out of the 135 finishers and received the award for the best performance by a BMW rider.

Port Elizabeth-born Brian Gush, who is now Motorsport Manager at Bentley in the UK, prepares for the restart in Newcastle. Brian rode 1931 BSA H32/9 550 that was loaned to him by Ian Holmes, the chairman of the Vintage and Veteran Club.

[30]

Dutch riders Herman Vossen (left) and Pam van Kappel brought their motorcycles from the Netherlands to compete in the JD Rally. The motorcycles are a 1926 Husqvarna 180 560 and a 1928 th Indian Scout 101 750. Vossen was the last of the finishers in 135 position, while Van Kappel was a non-finisher.

There was an impressive turnout of riders for the commemorative end of the 2013 JD Rally at the City Hall, which had been either the start or finish of the event when it was run as a road race on public roads between 1913 and 1936.

[31]

EVENT SPECTATING THE CENTENARY JD No doubt the mighty escapades of the heroic 200 (+?) on the occasion of the Centenary pilgrimage commemorating a hunnert years of fearsome motorbicycle dash between Johannesburg and Durban are authoritatively recounted elsewhere in this august journal (yes Priscilla that’s Masterlink I am referring to!) – but hey Priscilla, there is another side to the story...! Every year a small group of us – lacking the cerebral tackle to calculate rally speeds, let alone remember our own street addresses – set off on our iron’s to spectate the Gangster’s Paradise section of the rally. This has been ongoing since the first Rand Daily Mail D-J Run in 1970 commemorating the original race. In those days our boney’s of choice were a motley collection of rejects off Mainstreet Jack’s Motors showroom floor.... Back to the present – hey what a gas the big one was! Early on the Wednesday we went to the Registration and come away with armsfull of sponsor’s goodies – yeh Priscilla, we did see an old bike or two I think... Then up again blerry early on the Thursday to see the Start - and hey, all the The Start of it all... CMC Ghabba’s are there! We meet up with Chaingangers Frank and Willie Struckmeyer busy checking the scene out. Their two hot 1000cc Itey Irons were parked nearby – a JPS Le Mans Guzzi and Jota Laverda. No these were NOT DJ runners Priscilla! From Welkom we had the renowned collectors and CMC members Thys Pottas, on the 1927 1000cc V Twin BSA complete with period tyres, and Frank Korb on the 1935 R12 750 cc BMW. A bit further on wa s Alistair Gibson’s 1936 R5 500cc BMW – a genuine hunnert-mile-an-hour bike in its day! And there is much polishing, tweaking and fine tuning going on while we watch the competitors start up. Well most of them – some machines required a little encouragement and others a moer of a lot of enforcement! Then one by one, and with precision timing under the watchful eyes of Clerk of the Course Pierre Cronje and Scroot Bob Harpin, they set off out the mall, crackle slowly around the circle - and straight into the peak hour traffic! Man those okes are hero’s – can you believe grinding away on a clattering old banger with smoking clutch, vestigial brakes, three speed hand gearchange lever which is operated together with throttle lever, air lever, advance and retard lever, manual steering damper with all the while Alistair Gibson’s fabulous R5... Frank Korb Polishing...

[32]

girder forks bouncing up and down in front of you like mad dervishers? And then you debunk all this madness into that melèe of taxi’s eighteenwheelers yuppy blitzmobiles pedsestrians and kamikaze kommuters which is Joey’s usual peakhour craziness!! An absolute doddle for those of us with four hands... At last off into the fresh clean countryside – past the first breakdown – shame – and there’s CMC Treasurer Rita Grovè looking after the first checkpoint. Follow the competitors onto the Standerton ‘road’ - which starts out in pretty good shape ( they’ve installed weighbridges now to curb some of those overloaded toll-bypassers ) but after Greylingstad it returns to semi-tarred motocross track with pot-holes, middelmannetjies and ‘Rutting’ signs (not what you’re thinking Priscilla) and still these hero’s persevere on. It’s always awesome to watch JD-er after JD-er resplendent in yellow rallyjacket carefully riding at rally speed along the mauled edge of the road all the while being blitzed by the frenzied backroad traffic... The machine has to be kept in order with its plethora of primitive controls, times checked, and speed adjusted all the while negotiating hazards.... And this nogal on those narrow two inch high-pressure beaded edge tyres over ruts and grooves that would derail a tank! The competitors carry on with grim determination totally unfazed (or is it frozen with fear?) to the next checkpoint. Superhero stuff – one just has to admire these guys and nowadays dolls too... With an infestation of signs ‘100/80/60’ kays, ‘No Fences’ , ‘ No Lines ‘ , ’Pedestrians’ , ‘Animals’ we reach Standerton, once a historic little town but now miles of low-cost housing complete with a concentration of pigs – no Priscilla, the ‘bribe taking scum’ kind, feeding off the deteriorated road engineering... However once under the bridge things improve vastly and the rally organizers have found a spot of sanity in Standerton – the Wimpy and Engen corner. What an oasis – two charming hostesses welcome us into the diningroom reserved for the rallyists and then promptly throw us out again when they discover we are spectators – but with a smile, reseating us in the civilian section... While waiting for the first arrivals encountered the remarkable CMC-er Ian Campbell who despite partial paralysis rides huge distances on his 125 Honda ‘Wave’ (successor to the Cub). Tells me he is off to Gonube East London next week and then the Cape following month! Mate Ronny Campbell (no relative!) also pitches having spectated at Greylingstad and we duly lunched. Then the first warriors started arriving and it was a constant stream of Yellow-jacketed heroes pouring in and out of that reserved chow area... Outside the scene around the Engen pumps was frenetic with much spannering taking place! Up front was Chairman Pierre helping a Beemer and sidecar part ways – no it wasn’t a divorce Priscilla – something to do with the sidecar wheel not tracking down the same route as the other two wheels.... Wreaking his magic was Billy Purviss the CMC bespoke Fixer and Toolmaker (No Priscilla I am not even going to try and explain that one) who was hard at work with better half Mariette just keeping an eye on things! Mate Ronny was helping reArlindo da Costa’s split R12 Combo! [33]

attach a Scott clutch cable nipple with spares provided by ex Pres Graham Kendall, himself riding a ’36 MSS Velo with son Keith on a ’35 MAC Velo’ Always fascinating each year is the everchanging crowd – amongst the grand old men and ladies there were many youngsters and chicks and even a pair from Soweto on James Hall machines – all fuelling up, relaxing or socializing... Then Bike Essay’s Simon Fourie pulled in on his 1935 750 R12 Beemer with the Gothic numberplate and was immediately joined by pitcrew Sharon... The exuberant Des Burton who had threatened to campaign his Cammy had changed his mind and was going well on the solid ’34 Norton 500 Model 18. It was great to see Stuart Ferguson one of our old Gabbhas from the Britbike Association always cheerful and enjoying himself on his 1936 Velo 350 MAC . And a bellow from the pumps heralded another Britbike Association stalwart – Ian Holmes the irrepressible ‘Sparrow’ on his 550cc 5/11 Standard Triumph! White river CMC member Gary Edwards – he who rebuilt his ’36 MOV Velo’s bigend riding to the start last year – almost had a repeat performance with the mainshaft this year , and then crowned it with a 15 minute magneto stripdown and rebuild in the rain near the end of the Rally – never a dull moment... Riding with the Rally was previous competitor brother Braham Edwards on a 650 KLR Kawa – making an interesting contrast with all the old singles present... Hard rider Gary Edwards

What a celebration of the Golden age of Internal Combustion the JD/DJ is !! No catalytic convertors, no Lambda sensors, or fume recyclers, or decibel restrictors, to ensure your motor is politically correct – just plain old fashioned clatter, the smell of raw petrol mingled with burned oil, that unmistakable heavy regular crack of open exhausts as you watch these miracles of motion pull away with enormous steamengine torque in a cloud of blue smoke – as well as the relief on owner’s face when it all hooks up and the plot lurches off and gains momentum... And the mechanical magic – how many times have you watched the valves opening and closing on your motor as it runs? Checked the clutch revolving away? Watched your flywheel spinning with the beat of the engine? Or had the carburettor fall off? Or last smelled burning Castrol “R” - fragrance of the Gods? Sights and sounds and smells becoming extinct today - savour while you can!! And what a tribute to longevity – that of all the magnificent old machinery, and not forgetting many of the riders... And as quickly as the lunchstop had filled up did it empty again, as one by one they took off into the decayed core of Standerton and on to the next leg of Centenary challenge. Spectating over, we rode back to the Big Smoke only being interrupted by a Dross which got in the way and where much Guinness was consumed and much bullshit about the Rally spoken...

Dislodged Rocker

[34]

JD 2013 - The Inside Story Two hundred entries, 187 starters and 143 finishers. That sums up this year’s Johannesburg to Durban Rally. I was a DNF (did not finish) which means that my pre-engraved Finishers Medal will be scrapped. I did manage to ride 400Kms of the total 650Kms distance. But, surprise, surprise! I was the first recipient of the True Grit Award which I promptly reawarded to my son Ken. It is awarded to the rider that shows grit and tries not to give up in the face of overwhelming odds. If it wasn’t for Ken’s nagging and badgering, I may well have chucked it in. Day 1 looked promising and, astride the NSU, I left the start at 07:11 on schedule. I learnt how to ride the bike in the first 30 minutes as I had clocked less than 15Kms on the machine before the rally. The bike performed well even as I wobbled across the traffic looking for a gear. About an hour before the lunch stop I noticed there were only two bolts of the original four attaching the fuel tank to the frame. The tank was swaying around so I held it in place with my right hand and both knees while riding to find a suitable place to pull off the road. Once I had stopped I strapped the tank to the frame using a tie-down meant to tie the bike to the trailer. During the lunch stop I noticed petrol dripping from a hole in the tank. This was the moment I considered withdrawing from the rally, but Ken came up with some strong arguments (and threats) to carry on and went in search of a repair shop. In this one-horse town, the horse had long since found its way into a hamburger. What to do? I called the fix-it man known as ‘Cans’ and told him of my problem. After some deliberation he suggested I seal the hole with Sunlight soap. It is amazing that everyone I spoke to knew about this soap solution but nobody had remembered at the time. I found some soap and it sealed the hole. I was back in the rally and reached the overnight stop. As most riders had promised themselves an early night, I expected to be in bed early as the first bike had to leave at 06:00. Not for the first time in my life did error creep in and well lubricated, I staggered to bed with most of the riders around 21:00. The next morning, feeling just a little the worse for wear & tear and walking like a crab, I checked the tank and the soap was holding. I took off on time. During the morning the tank started leaking again and I stopped a few times to force soap into what was now a crack. I also had to stop about six times during the morning to clear dirt from the carburettor (probably rust particles shaken loose in the tank). These old motorcycles have little in the way of suspension and the rutted and pot-holed old roads vibrate the bikes to death. By the time I reached the pre-lunch stop service station the fuel was jetting out and there was no way that the soap could fight back. My clothes were soaked in fuel. That was it, my rally was over and the bike was loaded onto a trailer and taken to the night stopover in Nottingham Road in the Midlands.

[35]

A highlight of the day was climbing and descending the famous Majuba Pass, at last free of the infamous ‘stop-and-go’ stretches. A heavy storm had just passed (which I had missed due to ‘fixings’ on the road), but the riders ahead of me had to endure pelting rain and in some instances hail. The NSU sailed up, over and down the pass - great riding.

The Start with ‘Cans’ and son in the background

As I write with what has become known as a biltong bum, I still have to collect the NSU and bring it home. I then begin the lengthy procedure of trying to repair the fuel tank in time for the next rally. You didn’t think that this JD was my last rally, did you? Brian “Hoffie’ Hough

[36]

MOTOR BIKE EXHAUST PROBLEMS? I REPAIR AND MAKE UP EXHAUST SYSTEMS FOR ALL TYPES OF BIKES & QUADS STAINLESS OR MILD STEEL

WHY IMPORT - WHEN YOU CAN SUPPORT LOCAL PHONE ANDRÈ ON 072 456 6161 [email protected]

[37]

Technical Trickery Setting Honda tappets assisted by Murphy One fine Sunday afternoon I was setting tappets on my 1982 CB900F2C which I had done many times before. Then the brittle end of the Honda valve depressing tool broke off whilst under tension. Obeying Murphy to the letter it gleefully flew off at the speed of light straight down the cam chain tunnel into the bowels of the engine. Staring speechless at the disaster I stored the bike to wait for a better day As the Honda was being used for commuting I roped in my trusty 1979 Suzuki GS750 to continue duties. Eventually I purchased a 2006 Suzuki GSF1200S Bandit to take over from the GS. What a revelation the power, handling (radial ply tires) and brakes were compared to the old Honda. Fantastic fuel economy and ease of servicing were an added bonus Fast forward and the time came to extricate the metal tool end. I began to appreciate the difficulty of working on my Honda. Just removing the carbs was a mission. The engine had to come out as the head could not be removed with the engine in the frame. The job was made easier with the detachable frame down tube. Laying the bike down on the lawn, I was able to lift it off the engine With the engine on the garage floor it was time to strip, keeping a watchful eye for Murphy of course. The next thing I discovered was that a rocket scientist’s degree in manual dexterity was needed to strip and reassemble the camshafts. So far so good, I separated the head and barrels Alas, still no sign of the offending tool end. I did not really relish the idea of splitting the casings so manhandling the engine, turned it upside down and behold out fell the tool end, all 15mm of it. Feeling inspired, I removed carbon from head and pistons, lapped valves and honed bores. For good measure I fitted new valve stem seals, cam chains, guides, tensioners and piston rings. True to form, the two Morse or Hy-Vo cam chains were tricky to splice. It was easy to peen them too tight causing binding (which happened to me of course). Murphy again? Setting valve timing was not too painful after applying science installing the cams. Engine reassembly and installation in the bike was done on the lounge carpet, not such an outlandish idea after all, working on a nice soft surface. After the bike and engine were reunited it could be lifted onto its wheels This bike was always thirsty. Wild valve overlap perhaps to get its claimed 95 hp? So feeling inspired again I replaced the air cut-off valve diaphragms on the sides of the Keihins. The outer two pairs of carbs had to be spit by removing a choke flap again requiring great dexterity to gain access. The two butterflies in question were not replaced. The pilot jets were also adjusted in for altitude. Getting a base synchronization was easy. Simply holding the assembled bank of carbs to the light and peering through the chokes it was easy adjusting the stops until equal light was visible shining through each throttle valve. [38]

On the road again the beast still shakes its sullen head at any provocation. Perhaps the frame and engine go their separate ways due to rubber mountings or the use of an eighteen inch front wheel or the added unstrung weight of the TRAC anti-dive. Strait line performance is negligible. I suppose I am now used to the torque of a big four. Oil consumption is still high because of using new rings in oval bores. Fuel consumption is unchanged In conclusion, think carefully before working on a complex classic Honda. I have a love hate relationship with this handsome machine and am by no means finished with it. The lesson was well learnt however, not to reposition the fragile tool under tension thereby causing metal fatigue over time with the inevitable result. Finally, to achieve Nirvana ride a Bandit!!! Regards Godfrey Kirk

[39]

Marketplace For Sale Honda VFR 800 - Less than 15000km on the clock, two new tyres, FSH, Honda Custom touring Panniers (visible in the picture) Price R 65 000 negotiable David Watson 082 551 5147

I have a XS650 Yamaha. All standard original equipment. Stood in garage for 10 years. Won prizes on CMC 1000 Bike Show. It is SAVVA Registered, licences and running. Forced sale due to my retirement. R30 000.00 on C O. Phone Gordon : 0718875538 Suzuki DR500 frame and wheels (Offers?) Velo Solex for restoration R1500 Pieter Snyman 076 801 5581

[40]

I'm selling my GS1000G Very neat and well looked after 1982 model. Tyres still have 70-80% life on them MRA screen with a 1085cc wiseco kit. Bike has plenty power for a classic. License and paperwork are in order. Asking R20000 Neg. Pls contact Sakkie 0760679038 [email protected] 2 x KAZUMA QUAD BIKES FOR SALE Yellow, good condition, needs minor service 1 x 80cc @ R4000.00 - Negotiable 1 x 100cc @ R4200.00 - Negotiable Contact: Rui on 082 444 8179

BMW R 50, 1961, in good condition, matching numbers, running, registered and licensed R30 000 BMW R 50, 1960, project for restoration, matching numbers, no papers, R15 000 BMW R 60/2, 1967, project for restoration, matching numbers, no papers, R15 000 BMW R 67/3, 1956, project for restoration, numbers not matching, no papers, R20 000 Victoria KR 25, 1956, project for restoration, no papers, R5000 Contact Janus 073 228 0224 Benoni or email [email protected] [41]

Wanted Battery box cover for BSA- B25 Fleetstar 1970-71 model For Barry Allen on 082 494 9678 Honda C110 Petrol tank and any other spares. Please contact Gary on 083 226 8456 Norton 1946 model 18 back wheel or parts thereof. Cash or select from quite a few Norton bits. Contact John Wakeling cell 082 457 8327 or home 011 768 6793 work 011 433 8502. Wanted for pre war BSA 500 OHV Push Rods Chain Guard 7 inch Headlight BSA Clutch Lever Battery Box Complete Clutch Cush Drive Contact Pierre 072 513 9432

Services Reg Assist. Need help with getting your machine on the road? John Muller is able to help. Services offered include: • • •

Trailer introductions, Licensing & Registrations Change of Ownership Advice on Natis & Roadworthy Problems

Contact John on 083 239 2293

Charity Gwyneth Cronje is looking for donations of wool for use in a charity project. If you are able to donate to the cause please bring wool donations to the club either on Club Sundays or Wednesday night club meetings for collection. Your assistance would be greatly appreciated. For more information contact Gwyneth on 011 849 3008

[42]

Library The CMC library now holds a copy of most of the CMC magazines from the inception of the club but a couple of editions are missing. Can anybody assist in completing the full set? The magazines missing are: •

Number 1 to number 7 which was from May 1970 to November 1970.

• January 1981, January 1990 (although these might have been incorporated in the December editions but were not stated as such) and August 2007. I do not have the following, recent copies (in hard copy): 2010 May, July, August, September and December plus January to July 2011. If anybody has any motorcycle related books or magazines that they would be prepared to donate to the CMC library please contact the librarian or one of the committee members. Thanks Bob Harpin

G.J. Electroplating We specialize in the restoration and chrome plating of vintage & classic motorcycle and car parts using the triple chrome plating process that generates concourse quality results. Other processes include: polishing, copper, brass, nickel, cadmium and zinc. P.O. Box 16055 Atlasville 1465 Unit 16 & 17 Middle Park cnr Craig & Dormehl Roads, Anderbolt, Boksburg Tel: 087 941 0637/8 or 011 894 4525 Fax: 086 622 6342 Greg Cell: 082 680 0740 E-mail: [email protected]

[43]

Humour Sticky situation A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Christmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: "Dear Sir Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate. " The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note: "Dear Sir Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part. " The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter: "Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, let it harden, then stick your wooden leg up your a#*e and go as a toffee apple." FBI introductory examination The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists: Two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.” “Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair… Kill her!!” The man said “You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.” [44]

The agent said, “Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.” The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, “I tried, but I can't kill my wife.” The agent said “You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.” Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. “This gun is loaded with blanks” she said. “I had to beat him to death with the chair.' MORAL: Women are crazy. Don't mess with them From Phil Moser Man’s best friend Woman is a man's best friend. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels that he is the most beautiful man in the room and will enable him to be confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible. No wait...... sorry....... I'm thinking of Klipdrift. It’s Klipdrift that does all that. Sorry. From Phil Moser AUSTRALIAN LETTER - I think the sender might have been upset! This is an actual letter sent to the DFAT (Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade) Immigration Minister. The Government tried desperately to censure the author, but got nowhere because every legal person who read it couldn't stop laughing! Dear Mr Minister, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

[45]

How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a television set and golf clubs and condoms from them back in 1997, and yet the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date? For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is also on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off planes over the past 30 years. It's also on all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966. Also... would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely f...... astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead !!! SHIT! What do you people do with all this information we keep having to provide? I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you and me, I've had enough of all this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my f...... address! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes working there! And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether or not I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? In the unlikely event, I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone! Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other side of f...... Sydney, and get another f...... copy of my birth certificate - and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day? Nooooo, that'd be too f...... easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us running all over the bloody place like chickens with our f...... heads cut off, and then having to find some 'high-society' wanker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo... the one where we're not allowed to smile, you f...... morons. Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen. P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in 'high-society' to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since before 1820! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka [46]

Stockade!) I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army for something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances. I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL...Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year. However, your rules require that I have to get someone "important" to verify who I am; you know...someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F...... PAKISTAN! A country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers - and are suspended from the Commonwealth and United Nations for not having the "right sort of government". You are all pen-pushing paper-shuffling f...... idiots!

One liners Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in Londo. Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam. Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead, until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realized she was just on standby. The wife was counting all the 5 and 10 cents out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change." [47]

When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonkas saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexists. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing! Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter', who has stabbed six people in the butt in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern. Bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it! A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked." Murphy says to Paddy "What ya talkin’ to an envelope for?", "I'm sending a voicemail ya thick sod!" Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service. 19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over." An Asian fellow has moved in next door.. He has travelled the world, swum with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat

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Faces You’d swear these guys are famous or something…

An American abroad on a Brit bike? I wonder if he’s feeling lucky. Can you guess who this is? Answer on the last page.

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CMC Committee 2013 Chairman

Pierre Cronje [email protected] Tel: 011 849 3008 Fax: 011 425 1284 [email protected] http://www.classicmotorcycleclub.co.za

072-513-9432

Vice Chairman

Hamish Ireland H: 011 827 1670 Fax: 011 827 1670 [email protected]

082-772-0141

Secretary

Bob Hooper W: 011 452 4737 Fax: 011 452 4738 H: 011 452 6070 [email protected]

083-381-0695

Treasurer

Rita Grové H: 011 764 3798 Fax: 086 672 8941 [email protected] [email protected]

083-774-6798

Banking Details:

Account Name: Classic Motorcycle Club Standard Bank – Benoni Bank Code No: 013042 Account No: 420 188 738

Charity Organizers:

Marlene Hooper 082-925-1447 H: 011 452 6070 [email protected] Bob Hooper 083-381-0695 W: 011 452 4737 Fax: 011 452 4738 H: 011 452 6070 [email protected]

Japanese/Honda Spares:

Alan Green (Honda Shop) [email protected] Dave Carroll

Spares:

Brian Roulstone W: 011 828 0716 [email protected] Brian Neethling Fax: 011 768 6829 Bob Linell

073-804-2970 083-461-3303 082-950-3766

082-546-7155 082-756-7155

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Event Organisers

Racing Section

Trials Organiser

Timothy Romans W: 011 661 1517 Alan Bayley [email protected] Graham Kendall [email protected] Gary Hunter H: 011 475 2179 [email protected] Peter Nicholl Tel: 011 971 1759 [email protected]

082-629-2961 078-137-5609 083-468-1753

083-720-8688 W: 011 882 8030

082-940-1457 Fax: 011 392 4438

Off-Road Rides Trials

Dave Haines W: 011 803 1159 H: 011 465 1306 Fax: 011 803 0970 [email protected]

082-895-5259

SAVVA Reps

Freddie Viljoen

082-336-5590

Liaison Officers

Terry Hack – Members [email protected]

082-697-6058

Webmaster

JAWS [email protected]

083 459-7802

Museum Custodian Brian Neethling Fax: 011 768 6829 Barry Allan

082 546 7155 082-494-9678

Trophy Officer

Rusty Thorns

Editor

Timothy Romans W: 011 661 1517 [email protected]

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082-629-2961

Riding Shotgun

Ikea has announced that they will be entering into the motorcycle accessories market, but thei their new range of top boxes seems to be a little o.t.t.

Answer for Guess the Bike: 1960 Parilla Slughi (Desert Greyhound)/ Ramjet Answer for Faces: Clinton ‘Clint’ Eastwood Jr

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