Bella Angel - poems - - PoemHunter.Com

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Bella Angel - poems -

Publication Date: April 2011

Publisher: PoemHunter.Com - The World's Poetry Archive

Poems are the property of their respective owners. This e-book was created by Bella Angel on www.poemhunter.com. For the procedures of publishing, duplicating, distributing and listing of the poems published on PoemHunter.Com in any other media, US copyright laws, international copyright agreements and other relevant legislation are applicable. Such procedures may require the permission of the individuals holding the legal publishing rights of the poems.

Bella Angel Ten years in the making this is the story. I've lost but also learned a lot through these years. If I could go back in time and change anything, I wouldn't because these life experiences have made me who I am. They all taught me and made me the woman I am today. Each of you unique and at one time the love of my life. Handsome, charming, passionate, inteligent, artistic, poetic, caring, humble, beautiful souls who I was blessed to have shared memories and intimate moments with. At one point I wanted to marry and have a family with each of them. A few times even actually coming close to it. Prior to these soulmates I had never felt emotion or love for any man. I didn't have confidence didn't have my own individuality and didn't know who I was.

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Angel of Mine you begin to realize what is really important and you gain a clear vision of you are and what you really want in life. I began to change my surroundings and change my old ways. I lost alot of 'friends' remember the ones you always would tell me about the 'so called friends'. They were just dead energy. People to party and play with, they were there for the fun times but when times got tough they disappeared, rarely calling to see how I was. I was now on my own, focused on getting my life back in order. I started to rethink my life. I had so much extra time on my hands and started to realize I wasn't getting any younger, that I wanted more in my life. I wanted to go back to school finish my education. I wanted a career and most of all a family. So I started school last year now a full-time student. I cannot begin to tell you how happy I feel. I feel alive again, I feel as if I can conquer the world, I can accomplish my goals. I feel stronger and healthier than I have felt in years. Don't get me wrong I had my moments of sadness, regret, and I always think of my mistakes and lost time and realize all the ways I went wrong. I was not a good person back then I hurt so many people, people I loved and that loved me so much, but I was selfish absorbed in the evilness of that ugly habit. When I lost everything including you my closest friend, I fell apart, I prayed alot and asked God to please help me and guide me. I felt so alone, I had nobody to really talk to, the way I could talk to you about everything. Nobody would understand it, so I just prayed and focused on a goal. As I began to accept that I had made so many mistakes and hurt so many people, I started to become very humbled. I started to realize how important my life was, and realized how precious time was, and I had no more time to waste. Now it was my time to prove to myself that I could do it, I could be the girl you always said I could be. I began to realize my strengths no longer focused on my weaknesses. The past was the past and there was nothing I could do to change it but what I could do was grow and learn from the mistakes and better my life. Suicide was never an option, but the pain I carried with me all those years had been my suicide, I let it absorb me, and take me away, from enjoying my life, and appreciating all the love around me. I started to feel alive again, when I started school and realized I still had it me, alone but focused and setting a goal for myself was what saved me from the dark side. My wonderful family and few friends that kept encouraging me and telling me how proud I was making them, felt great. I've wanted to reach out to you and talk to you and tell you that I was finally almost free but I wanted to really make sure I was in a good place before reaching out to you. I pray that God is taking care of you and hope that you are in a good place. I wasn't me, when we were together. I'm sorry for all the hurt and awful things I said to you that wasn't me. I constantly think back and realize how good God was to me, even when I wasn't being a good person and hurting all who I loved because he sent me an angel to help guide me through my darkest time. the strength, love, and encouragement you constantly gave to me through my darkest times made me who I am today. Even though it seems as if I wasn't listening, I always was. You opened up my eyes to many things, I never knew I was beautiful, creative, and smart until I met you. You constantly encouraged me to reach for my goals, you gave me confidence that I now carry with me today. A year on my own, I've grown alot. I've gained wisdom, and courage, and I've learned to accept my mistakes, and just keep moving forward. I have goals and I'm going to accomplish them. I know I will find happiness again. My life is far from over. I'm letting go of the past. I'm going to get it all right this time. Concentrate, pray and accomplish. My priorities today are work, school, my family, and my health. With the help of God and prayer I have destroyed the negativity that used to absorb me. I don't regret anymore I just keep moving forward. I want to remain humble and share my time with people who appreciate, encourage, and love me for who I am. This is my purpose in life now. You always told me how much I had to offer, and I never saw it back then, but now I appreciate all your www.PoemHunter.com - The World's Poetry Archive

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encouragement. I know I have a beautiful soul, realize my creativity and know that I have so much love inside of me that I want to share with people who love me. So I made mistakes and I hurt so many people that loved me, but it's not to late to show them how much I appreciate the love they gave. I will never forget one moment we spent together, because you gave so much of your time, and I didn't appreciate any of it then, but now I am able to see clearly how much you gave, and for that you will forever be in my heart. I am on the right road now I am finally finding peace of mind. My past will always be there but because of it I will always be humbled by the angel that saved me through the lowest time in my life. I am grateful for surviving and so very thankful for the love you gave. So this is me. The broken Angel is finally spreading her wings and flying free, embracing her life. Thank you my guardian angel for being my strength and encouragement and always believing in me. Bella Angel


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Little Lost Angel Days and years have passed and still she sits and thinks of him The world keeps going but the thoughts and memories she still mourning. The light he brought to her dark sad heart never stops glowing. Day after day she wonders if he ever thinks of her. But you wouldn't know it because she has to much pride to show it my little lost girl. She dances and parties her sorrows away. Beautiful and full of life. It's all a facade a part she's grown used to playing my little lost girl. How she cries alone all the time my lost little girl. She wishes she could go back and change to the girl they were so drawn too. The beautiful angel with that smile and charm and life that made her the one who broke them. She reels them in unaware of her powers she always pushes them away. Little lost girl wants control and love but the story always ends with hate and anger. She never felt loved her whole life so whenever love enters her dark sad heart she pushes it away and kills because she's afraid of it. She cries and prays for her lost love everyday, asking and hoping that they can forgive her..Maybe one day she'll get her wings.. Bella Angel


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My Twin Flame You were taken with my beauty brought together by evil. I didn't know you, all I knew was what others had told me about you. Mostly negative things. They warned me to stay away, and not get to close to you. So when we met you were exactly the opposite of how others had described you. You were sweet, charming, and had a shyness about you. I was captivated by you. Your mystery perked my curiosity. At the time we were still holding on to a past relationships trying to salvage our broken hearts. So then came the night we finally bonded. We cried, shared our sorrows of lost love, and our dreams, hopes, and desires. I was instantly drawn to you. I guess you could say I had finally met my soulmate. This man so intrigued me like no other. His charm, his knowledge and his kind heart was like so unique and I instantly felt a connection to him. Never in my twenty six years of life had I ever felt this intense connection. December 2007 Bella Angel


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Soulmates Our paths crossed for a reason. Two broken, beautiful, strong, battered hearts that have felt tremendous pain from past love, finally their paths had crossed and fate brought them to eachother. You gave me strength and hope when I was so broken. Please just hold my hand tight and together I hope we will get there and maybe finally will be one. Build a future. Is it really the end of a beautiful friendship. You've inspired me, and I hope this chapter isn't closed. Bella Angel


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The Angel that saved me Then there was an even more broken soul that was so hurt and lost. He gave me all his love the only way his damaged broken soul could He was so possessed by his broken demons and weakness and unfortunate addiction that he had lost himself to years before we met. I never knew what was real and what his true feelings were. I know now he gave me the last ounce of love his dying soulcould give. Despite his broken soul he taught me humility and to believe in myself. He will forever be in my prayers and his memory will live in my heart forever. My lost angel. You were my guardian angel that although plagued by sadness and sorrow gave me love and inspiration, confidence and the realization of my talents and my beauty. From you I really found the confidence to believe in myself and follow my dreams. You inspired me and encouraged me to see all my strenghts and creativity. You got inside my soul. Listened to my stories, my dreams, and hopes and fears and always encouraged to be all I could be. You gave so much and I just took not realizing how much you loved me... Bella Angel


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