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A list of BBW/FA social groups. 6 Letters. Dimensions readers speak out. 8 Personal Ads. Lots of personal ads featuring large women and their admirers!
LOTS OF PERSONAL ADS FROM LARGE WOMEN AND THEIR ADMIRERS!!

Dimensions Dimensions WHERE BIG IS BEAUTIFUL

What to wear

The NIH makes 25 million fat

Why big guys are hot

Big love All heart Aug 98 • $5.95

The BIG Trio

The

FATFANTASYDATE Line

A line where fat women and their admirers can find dates or share their fantasies! HUNDREDS online! A national date line where 100s of fat women and their admirers can get in touch within 24 hours. (New ads are placed online daily). Just call 1-800-934-7082 and place your free personal ad anytime 24 hours a day. By the next morning your ad is online. To retrieve your messages and/or listen to the personals of others call: 1-900835-0260. ($1.49 per minute : You must be 18 years or older). When you place your free personal message on the 800 line, please be sincere, open, and totally honest. The only restrictions are: no names, phone numbers, addresses, sales pitches (we erase those immediately, so don’t waste your time) or four letter words. This is more than just another ho-hum line. You finally have a chance to spice it up, let go of your inhibitions and get in touch with your dream date. Outside US? Or want to save?

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If you have a technical problem with the 900 service, leave your first name, phone on 800-934-7082. We’ll respond ASAP.

Dimensions Where B ig Is B eaut iful

Publisher S H A R D C O , IN C . Editor-In-Chief CO N R A D H . B L I C K E N S T O R F E R

Office Manager RUBY BLICKENSTORFER

Social and Fashion Editor

N o. 8 0 • V o l u m e 1 4 - N u m b e r 1 - A u g u s t 1 9 9 8

FEATURES

COLUMNS

DEPARTMENTS

SANDIE SABO

Online Editor D A N I OS B O R N E

Contributing Writers BA R B A R A A L T M A N B R U N O, P H . D . E L I Z A B E T H FI S H E R , FR A N C I N E G A N D Y G I N G E R, J A N HE R R I C K, DR. M O E LE R N E R , DA N I O S B O R N E , H I L L E L S C H W A R T Z , S A L L Y E. S M I T H G L E N S O M M E R S, M I N D Y S O M M E R S

Contributing Artists N ED SONNTAG P AUL DELACROIX

Circulation Director MICHAEL EVAN

Printing W. W. H O B B S , S A C R A M E N T O

Prepress and Colorwork

18 NIH Weirdness Sally E. Smith The NIH’s latest moves help no one but the diet industry

Editor Conrad H. Blickenstorfer about size acceptance

12 Outlook 24 Phat Fashions Sandie Sabo The colorful fashions of Big on Batik! and the hot swimsuits from By Ro!

Glen Sommers In the name of fat

14 Inside Elizabeth Fisher A visit to the gynecologist

30 The Beach Babes A trio of very well rounded friends

INFOMANIA, RANCHO CORDOVA

Advertising Sales

16 Well Being Barbara Altman Bruno, Ph.D. Role models

17 Female FA

SHARDCO, I NC (916) 984-9947

Ginger Why I prefer big men

Printed in the United States of America DIMENSIONS (ISSN 1057-7386) is published bimonthly for US$30/year (basic subscription price) by Shardco, Inc., 11492 Sunrise Gold Circle, Suite D, Rancho Cordova, CA 95742-6596. Periodicals Postage Paid at Rancho Cordova, CA, and at additional mailing offices. Dimensions is published for the support and educational benefit of people with a preference for the large figure, as a source of news and information, and as a forum for ideas, experiences and opinions. Periodical postage pending at Folsom and other Post Offices. All opinions expressed are those of the contributors indicated and not necessarily those of DIMENSIONS. Contents copyright © 1998 by DIMENSIONS. All rights reserved. No materials may be reprinted in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher. C O N T R I B U T I O N S • Letters to the Editor must be signed. Name and state will be printed unless requested to be withheld. Letters may be edited for space and/or clarity. The publisher accepts no responsibility for return of unsolicited submissions. A l l righ ts in letters and u n solicited editorial and graph ic m aterial will be con sid ered u n con dition ally assign ed for pu bli c at i on a n d c o py r i gh t p u rp o se s. All submissions will be subject to DIMENSIONS' unrestricted right to edit and to comment editorially. Upon publication, payment will be made at the current rate, which covers the author's and/or contributor's right, title, and interest in and to the submitted material, including but not limited to manuscripts, photographs, drawings, charts, and designs, which shall be considered as text. The act of mailing a manuscript and/or material shall constitute an express warranty by the contributor that it is original and in no way an infringement upon the rights of others. Mail letters to the editor, artwork, articles, fiction, changes of address, and all other materials to P.O. Box 640, Folsom, CA 95763. S U B S C R I P T I O N R A T E S • Base U.S. subscription rate is $30.00 annually (6 issues); Canada add $10, overseas add $20 for postage). These prices represent DIMENSIONS' standard subscription rate and should not be confused with special subscription rates sometimes advertised. Single copy: $5.95. C H A N G E O F A D D R E S S: Allow six weeks advance notice and send in both your old and new address. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Dimensions, PO Box 640, Folsom, CA 95763-0640.

5 Editor At Large

22 Heretic Physician Dr. Moe Lerner Dr. Moe about heartrelated matters

38 Linda out of the closet A story told to the Observer

42 Clippings Jan Herrick From the size acceptance fron

40 Jami-Marie A Southern gal grows up

48 Memories Mindy Sommers Tessel Cold Comfort

54 Musings

5 Social Groups A list of BBW/FA social groups

6 Letters Dimensions readers speak out

8 Personal Ads Lots of personal ads featuring large women and their admirers!

20 Big Love The Romance Diva does her thing: Bill and Becky Sherman

50 Dimensions Marketplace Products and services of interest for large people and their admirers

52 Back Issues Order Dimensions back issues

53 Big Heavenly Bodies Horoscope by Sandie Sabo

60 Video Bazaar Everything you may or may not want to see.

Hillel Schwartz Truth in Labeling

60 Dimensions Online 44 Wannabes Take a look at some of Dimensions’ hottest modeling candidates

Dani Osborne “I saw your picture on the web...” ON THE COVER Dimensions models featuring By Ro! Designs swimwear Photography by Russo Productions

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BLOCK OF TIME Blocked from 900 use? Or seeking a bargain? With Block of Time you can now access Dimensions personals from any touch tone phone, even those blocked from 900 use. It’s easy—you can charge if on your credit card (Visa/MC/Amex). It’s smart—it allows you to budget your phone time. For more information or to purchase a Block of Time, call 916-984-9947.

Social Groups CA - BBW Bombshells Los Angeles www.bbwbombshells.com

CA - Big Stuff DancesSan Francisco Bay Area www.wine.com/obaby/bigstuff.html

CA - FAT - Fat and Terrific www.ccnet.com/~avery/FAT.html

CA - The Ample Image Club home1.gte.net/ampimage/index.htm

CA - The Big difference L.A. Area www.kaiwan.com/~bigdiff

CA - The Big HouseLos Angeles, California pencomputing.com/dim/events/big.html

CA - Voluptuous Preferences, Orange County www.Shoplb.com/volup/volup.html

CA BABES!Ventura County, CA www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/1813/

DC - Generous Proportions pencomputing.com/dim/events/generous.html

Canada

The lifestyle magazine for large Canadians and their admirers

We are the only Canadian national magazine that:

• fights discrimination in health care and employment within Canada • builds positive self-esteem • finds affordable clothes that fit for Canadians • meets and networks with like-minded people Other features include: • health issues • men’s and women’s fashions • recipes and how-to’s • Dear Suzie advice column, poetry, short stories, and more • personals and classifieds Subscriptions: $21.40 (GST included) in Canada, US$25 in the US, and US$30 internationally. Send check or money order to: Canada WYDE, PO Box 511-99 Dalhousie Street, Toronto, Ontario, M5B 2N2 Phone: 416-861-0217 Fax: 416-861-1668 e-mail: [email protected] www.interlog.com/~cdawyde WE ARE NOW ACCEPTING ARTICLES, PERSONAL ADS, AND ADS FOR THE UPCOMING ISSUES

FL - Large and Lovely Connections, Central Florida www.LargeAndLovely.com/

GA - Abundant Beauties Club Atlanta pencomputing.com/dim/events/abundant.html

GA - Hipsters www.mindspring.com/~hipsters/

GA - Singles of Size (SOS)Atlanta, Georgia pencomputing.com/dim/events/sos.html

IL - Chicago's Colossal Social Club pencomputing.com/dim/events/ccsc.html

IN - Indy BBWs and Admirers, Indianapolis

www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Lagoon/8737/1moon.htm

IN - Livin' and Lovin' Large, FT. Wayne www.livnlovnlg.com

MA - Big SensationsBoston Area pencomputing.com/dim/events/bigs.html

MA - Heavenly Bodies www.soar.org/grant/party/

MA - The Well-Rounded Club of New England members.aol.com/TWRC/index.html

MI - BBWs Unlimited, Central Michigan area members.aol.com/SanfordSue/index.html

MI - Michigan BBW Goddesses Social Club www.ia.net:80/~slturbin/lauranovak/mibbwsoc.htm

MI - More to Love, Metropolitan Detroit www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Cove/5984/

MI - Plumpers Social ClubChicago specific.com/plumpers

Dimensions on the World Wide Web http://dimensionsmagazine.com The hottest web site for admirers of the large figure Image mall • vendor mall • library • personals • tons of links voting for future models • surveys • future plumpers • fat magic

MN - In A BIG Way members.aol.com/inabigway1/index.html

NJ - Abundant Happenings pencomputing.com/dim/events/abundant_happenings.html

NJ - Ample Awakenings pencomputing.com/dim/events/ample.html

NY - Large Encounters www.large-encounters.com/

NY - Goddesses

members.aol.com/goddessinc/index.html

TX - Houston's Big Beautiful Women members.aol.com/houstonbbw/index.htm

TX - People of Size Social Club www.iglobal.net/rstelzer/possc.htm

WI - Wisconsin Colossal Social Club pencomputing.com/dim/events/wcsc.html

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August 1998

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(listing courtesy of Dimensions Online http://pencomputing.com/dim)

Editor At Large More on things that change and those that don’t

A

s I’m trying to get this issue of Dimensions finished in time for the National NAAFA Convention in Los Angeles, I’ve been thinking some more about all the changes that have occurred since we started the magazine almost 15 years ago. In my last editorial I talked about how much easier it is these days for FAs and large people to find materials of interest, and each other. This is partially due to the tenacious efforts—year-in, year-out—of organizations like NAAFA, and partially because information is so much easier to find today thanks to the Internet and the web. And perhaps Dimensions also contributed in some small ways in our efforts to portray big women as attractive and desirable, both inside and outside. I often reminisce how I used to output text for the first issues of Dimensions (then called FA-SIG) on an old daisy-wheel printer and then paste up the 24-page “magazine.” As we grew through the years, we saw other publications come and go, such as MAGNA , It’s Me! , and PlusWoman. We saw Carole Shaw’s reign at B B W Magazine come to an end, and witnessed B U F’s then revolutionary switch to an “all-fat” format (did you know that the letters BUF stand for “Big Up Front,” indicating the mag’s origin as a big bust publication?) I remember how we used to spend less than 500 dollars to produce, print, and mail Dimensions, l e s s than half of what it costs us to do prepress alone these days. And how I used to do the magazine while holding a full-time career as an information systems manager in a large company. So much has changed, and so much hasn’t. For example, publishing is my career now. I have partners, and in addition to Dimensions we’re publishing two commercial titles, Pen Computing Magazine and Digital Camera Magazine. While the work on the commercial magazines consumes a lot of my time, Dimensions b e n-

efits from all the publishing technology and extra resources we now have at our disposal. I love this business. What hasn’t changed is the struggle to get every issue out on time, to have enough subscribers to pay the bills, and the daily dealing with all sorts of interesting people who either hate us (and all too often themselves) or love us. And our ongoing effort of trying to address both FAs and the fat people they admire and desire still costs us distribution and advertising because magazines are supposed to focus on target audiences, rather than bringing diverse groups together. Sometimes I wonder why we continue to pursue the goal of being a forum where FAs and fat people can get to know each other. It’d be so much easier (let alone commercially viable) to simply do a large size fashions magazine, or a hard core fat magazine. As is, while we have many devoted supporters who have been with us almost since day one, many men are not interested in Dimensions because we don’t do nudity and the typical adult magazine poses, and many large women are horrified because we show the tantalizing, unique beauty of fat female bodies. Most people just don’t know what to make of a magazine with 40,000 words of text and pictures of female models. Maybe one of these days I’ll look back and wonder why I did it for all these years. For the time being, I still believe that fat women and their admirers need a place to find each other and learn about each other. Incidentally, several people asked on our online bulletin boards why there aren’t more pictures and features of fat Asian women. I poked around the web and found that while almost all Western “adult” sites have “BBW” categories by now, none of the Asian ones do. In the process I found something else that’s interesting: while many Asian cultures are male-dominated, nudity seems far less common than in Western society. I am

certainly no expert on Asian customs, but it appears that in Japan, for example, male fantasies are expressed and fueled more by a n i m e s—cartoon-like drawings—than by pictures of real women. Animes generally follow a common style, yet are depicted in all the areas of sexual interests we’re familiar with, and then some. I wonder how Japanese women feel about them. Drawings do not show live women, there are no model releases, and no one has to worry whether her parents sees her pictures in a magazine or on the web. I asked a feminist friend what she thought of the anime approach. Her opinion was that it’s still exploitation. Sometimes I guess I just don’t understand why the male expression of sexual interest in women is invariably considered exploitive whereas the different interest of females in males is not. This will likely remain a prime issue in the battle of the sexes (genders?), and, of course, one that we at Dimensions are confronted with on a daily basis. By far the biggest changes are due to the Internet. I am spending a lot of time (and resources) on our websites. I’ve been told that Dimensions Online is among the top five percent of all websites in terms of traffic. At a time were many websites are little more than a collection of banner ads and a bit of teaser content, I’ve been keeping Dimensions Online pretty much commercial-free (not that we wouldn’t appreciate a bit of ad support from the folks who benefit from our work) and full of ever-changing content. Our four bulletin boards (the Dimensions general, the Weight board, the Chat board, and the new female FA/big guys board) became so successful that our landlord kicked us off his server because of all the traffic. So now Dimensions has its own (and much faster) webserver. At this point I’d also like to publicly thank Dani Osborne who’s doing a fantastic job as our online editor. Dani’s both a dynamite resource and a very attractive, six-foot-one supersize woman. Maybe one of these days we can convince her to be featured in the magazine. I hope you enjoy this issue! ❧

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Letters do not necessarily reflect editorial opinion of DIMENSIONS. To have your letter published, please write to Editor, DIMENSIONS, P.O. Box 640, Folsom, CA 95763-0640

O PI N I O N S

FR O M

DI M E N SI O NS

R E A DE R S

INSIDE COLUMN

NOT PRINCE CHARMING

I have recently found Dimensions Maga zine and I have been reading your past articles from the magazine. I find them very inspiring since I am 18 years old and over weight. Plus, I have met many hardships in my life because of this, since I have been overweigh as long as I can remember. I would like to tell you about my experiences as a plus size dancer (and, no, I don’t mean exotic, I mean classical ballet, pointe, jazz and tap). I have been taking dance lessons since I was three years old, and I have always been the largest person in my class. I have always had trouble fitting into leotards....and the costumes my teacher picks out for us to perform in( but she always looks for the costumes that come in a size Xtra-large.....which by the grace of God and Spandex my size 22/24 body squeezes into...). I have seen countless shows of discrimination when auditioning for dancing spots in local musicals, and in the lessons I take from the dance conventions I attend. But despite all the remarks that I will never make anything of myself as a dancer, I go on and do what I love. I do this because it is fun, even with all the rude remarks...... So, I deeply thank you for the encouragement. Please keep doing what you do with your gift as a writer. Keep providing encouragement for all us obese people out here doing what we love to do.

I have been a subscriber for a few years now, and I enjoy your magazine very much. It has opened my eyes to fat acceptance. It has also given me the confidence to do just about anything in life. That even includes placing an ad in your Personals column. I have had numerous responses to my ad. So many in fact that at times it was difficult to keep up with the mail! Mind you, not all the men were the “Prince Charming” that I was seeking, but for the most part, the men were very nice. But here is a word of warning for all you women out there and I cannot express how important this is, please take heed! Some of the men lure you in with sweet talk, small tokens of affection even. But do not be ruled by your heart. Think with your head before you leap into that relationship. Here is what happened to me. I thought I had met a wonderful man. He was handsome, kind, considerate, giving, and thoughtful. He had sent me numerous presents and cards. He had even gone to the great length of sending my mother a few gifts. After about one year of phone calls, we finally decided to meet in person. Mind you, this entailed him flying clear across the country to meet me! It was so magical, or so I thought. He was the sweetest man. While he was out here, he even proposed marriage! My dream come true! My heart was broken when he had to fly back home, but I had told him that I would fly out to him the following month. What a whirlwind romance it was! He wined and dined me, took me to the most romantic places. He also showed me his wonderful state. Not having traveled much, I was totally awe stricken at how beautiful other places can be. Everything was going splendidly, until we ran into a woman at the waterfalls. He was clearly upset when she saw us. She had introduced herself to me, shook my hand, and made small talk. She had ended the conversation with saying to him, “By the way, it’s over.” What was I to think?

Rachel LOVE THOSE POLKA-DOT CUTIES I enjoyed your June 1998 issue very much. I especially liked the Inside column with the Polka-Dot cuties. They are three fabulous super-size women. Now how about doing an individual story on each of them? I also enjoyed the feature on Myles Ahead fashions.

Polka-Dot Cuties Fan

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Dimensions

He had said she was a “friend” who had marriage troubles. I must admit that it bothered me for a time, but he did such a good job at acting like it was nothing. We went along our merry way, holding hands and kissing. But during our trip the woman crept into my thoughts constantly. Not being naive, or stupid for that matter, I did a little investigating. Come to find out the woman was his wife. I must admit by this time I was not surprised. On the plane I had a lot of time to think about what had happened to me. I was completely taken in by this con artist. By the time I landed, my tears had turned to anger. I was angry at him sure enough, but also angry at myself for being taken for a fool. When I arrived home I did a little more investigating. I called a phone number that I had gotten off the hotel bill. No surprise when a woman answered the phone. I asked if he was home and told her who was calling. After what seemed like an eternity, she came back and said, “he does not want to come to the phone right now.” Big surprise! I said, “Fine, then maybe you can clear some things up for me.” After a brief, conversation, my suspicions were true. He was indeed married, for several years in fact. Yes, she was the woman at the falls, and his wife. She had also stated that this is not the first time that he has done this sort of thing. He has answered many an ad from the personals. I said my piece, apologized for the pain that I might have caused, and wished her well with the life that she has chosen to lead. With tears in her voice, she hung up the phone. Was I hurt? Yes. Will I get over it? Life does go on, and I look at this as a learning experience. But as the old saying goes, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” Never again shall I think with my heart. Will I place another ad? Most likely yes. Hopefully this will not happen again. This might seem like a soap opera. But I assure you that it did happen to me. If any of you women who place an ad, receive a response from a Brazilian man who lives in Oregon, BEWARE! Don’t believe a word he says. Check out every angle if you can. He is extremely smooth. Do not be taken in. Let my experience be a lesson to you all. Thank you for letting me write this letter. There are nice guys out there. I just know that they do exist. Hopefully I will find my “Prince Charming” one day. Perhaps through your personals, or by chance. You have a wonderful magazine. I will be a continued subscriber for as long as time allows.

Susie

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GUYS WITH BIG BELLIES As I prepare to dash off on a two-week trip, I JUST had to report on the book that has caused me to delay my packing. Eat Fat by Richard Klein, while not perfect, is the most objective and least fat-phobic look at fatness in America that I’ve seen. It’s thought-provoking, even if it jumps around and sometimes loses focus. One passage that may be of interest to both female FAs and big men is a quote by W. H. Auden who has ambivalent feelings towards round bellies, including his own: “If one visits a bathing beach, one can observe that men and women grow fat in different ways. A fat woman exaggerates her femininity; her breasts enlarge till she comes to look like the Venus of Willendorf. A fat man, on the other hand, looks like a cross between a very young child and a pregnant mother. He goes on, “I would say that fatness in the male is the physical expression of a psychological wish to withdraw from sexual competition and, by combining mother and child in his own person, to become emotionally self-sufficient. The Greeks thought of Narcissus as a slender youth but I think they were wrong. I see him as a middle-aged man with a corporation [old term for a big belly]... for, however ashamed he may be of displaying it in public, in private a man with a belly loves it dearly; it may be an unprepossessing child to look at, but he has borne it all by himself.” Not the most fat-positive statements, but an interesting one about creation envy. Big-bellied guys feel in tune with that pregnancy shape? Who knows. I’ve often wondered if there is a tie-in between my eating to create my own huge, pregnant-like belly and my great appreciations for the shape of pregnant women, as well as women with very round, fat bellies. However it may be too simplistic for W. H. Auden to state that men growing big bellies is simply some form of emotional

self-sufficiency. For those of us who actually do feel better about ourselves as fatbellied guys, this is at least a fascinating thing to ponder. In another quote, the author describes a famous critic he studied under, a very fat man. He mentions him after talking about the personal ads that gay male “chubby chasers” place in papers ... and how many of them trace their love of big bellies back to memories of admiring big-bellied male relatives, and other big males they saw. “I remember once sitting in a classroom in Paris listening to Roland Barthes. He was a man of the most extraordinary taste, he ate the most delicious food, and at that moment he was enormously fat. I sat in the front of the class and had a view of his enormous belly pushing through the linen of his voluminous shirt. And I found myself being affected and even aroused by a kind of aura or halo that seemed to emerge from his paunch and suffuse it. I had never had that experience before; it has happened since more than once. But something like the mystic power of the belly is what you hear in the want ads of these gus, in search of it. Belly worship is an old story. It remains a very present one in the omnipresent figure of Buddha, whose belly is the focus of the worshippers’ gaze. There at the navel of the globe resides the central point of energy from which all his spiritual powers flow. The belly is itself a round mandala, a kind of prayer wheel, into whose entrancing convolutions the celebrant dissolves.” Heady stuff; and it’s easy to read too much into it, especially for us Westerners who try hard to understand the Eastern/Oriental philosophies. Still, it is fascinating that the one remaining culture where women—especially thin, smaller women—can actually revere big-bellied guys, is the Japanese culture. I’ve heard this from other sources. American and European cultures have tried hard to wash those big-belly reverences from the collective norms of Western thought. And why is it, if that is the case, that within the Western world, gay males tend to be more belly-focused? Are men really that much more visually oriented? Or are the female belly-lovers still forced by society to lurk from the shadows, never quite comfortable with stating their preferences? Hmmm... or maybe there really are so few of them ... yikes! Say it ain't so! LOL! Well, enough of this food for thought. Just thought I’d mention this quite thought-provoking book that captivated my imagination.

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Big Chris ❧ Dimensions

August 1998

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THE BIG DIFFERENCE Dances & Other Events in the L.A. Area

To respond to ads: Send reply with code number to Dimensions, P.O. Box 640, Folsom, CA 95763-0640. Include $1.00 and one stamped envelope for each reply.

CALL 1-900-420-5575 TO LEAVE A MESSAGE FOR ANY AD WITH 5-DIGIT CODE $1.49 PER MINUTE • YOU MUST BE 18 YEARS OLD OR OLDER

ALL ADS SORTED BY STATE AL—Hello ladies, my name in Randy. I'm 29, 5'8", 225 lbs., brown hair, blue eyes. I'm relationshipminded. I've never been married and I have no children. I drive a truck across country and I'm financially secure. I'm a very loving and caring person who likes candle light dinners, slow dancing, and cuddling on the couch listening to romantic music. I'm looking for a BBW, 24-39, 150 to 350 lbs., who is loving, caring, truthful, and faithful, and who likes to get plenty of TLC. If I interest you, please drop me a line. Photo appreciated. - 26815 ❤ AZ—Relationship-ready redhead, NS, intelligent, articulate, loving, sensual, buxom 42F. ISO attractive, humorous, secure gentleman, 40+, who wants best friend, lover, possible mate. Willing to relocate for right man. Photo and letter get reply. - 26975 ❤ AZ—Hi. looking for a young woman (25-35) who wants to go from chubby to plump, plump to fat, fat to fatter, and fatter to obese. This handsome, romantic and loyal feeder will help you reach each milestone and be there through thin and thick, spiritually, emotionally and physically. So—stop the diet yo-yo, eat everything you want, and get as fat as you can with the adoring support of a "good man". Your picture gets mine. - 26949 ❤

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AZ—Me: 40ish (look more 30ish), 5'11", long dark hair, green/hazel eyes, slim, athletic, romantic, professional in healthcare. You: 25-35 years of age, 5'3"-5'5" "chubster;" 160-180 lbs., blonde or red hair, dimples a plus. An energetic plump girl who is tired of the dating scene and wants to experience more in life. She likes jazz, dancing, snow skiing, tennis, romantic dinners, exotic ravel, or—if not into the sports portion— likes to watch her partner participate. Take a risk; contact me. "We all have dreams and not all come true, but we are better for having had them I think, don't you?" - 26826 ❤ A Z—Active SW Christian Larger Lady, 36, 5'9", with old-fashioned values looking for life-long soulmate. Enjoy cuddling, hugs, dancing, laughing, exploring AZ, going out, staying in, talking and listening. - 26831 ❤ CA—Seeking all age Goddesses!! SBM, 26, 6'0", 215 lbs., looking for that special someone for friendship/possible relationship. Supersized women preferred, 375+ lbs. SB/LA/ORA counties preferred. - 26965 ❤ C A—Sleepless in Orange County! Can't sleep 'til I meet a SWM, 40+, NS, professional who likes to work hard and play hard, with a sense of humor and integrity, to love and commit to this very attractive SWF, 40+, 5'6", 330 lbs., pear-shaped, long-haired brunette full of warmth and caring. Let's end what we've both been looking for. The search stops here!!! - 26974 ❤

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C A—Attractive RN, 42, SWF; funny, sensual, romantic, no children, 5'4", brown hair, beautiful blue eyes, 330 lbs., hourglass. Loves outdoors, beaches, dining out, movies, good books, mountains, music. ISO SWM professional, funny gentleman who is emotionally/financially secure, 35-50, for love, LTR. Will answer all sincere replies. Photo please. - 26960 ❤ C A—CALLING ALL MEN! Where have you been all my life? I'm a lusty and lovely blueeyed blonde, 29, 5'9", size 22, former model. I love outdoor and indoor adventures and I'm looking for you! SF Bay area a plus but not necessary. Write today with your photo! Karen. 26653 ❤ C A—College professor, Ph.D., rare unusual non-typical Chinese American scientist, loving, caring, affectionate, passionate, gentle yet masculine, strong-natured yet tender-hearted, not tall-dark-handsome. But instead, absolutely faithful-loyal-trustworthy, romantically stable, emotionally secure. Excellent health, youthfulbody, no disease/drug. Like painting, singing, athletic, and especially romantic intimate activities. Adore soft-natured, good-virtues, big lady with wide hips, pale complexion, 30's-40's, childless, disease/addiction free, smoker/ drinker okay, who appreciates my nature and virtues & ignores my shortcomings and faults. - 26925 ❤

C A—Come to Northern California where the girls are warmer. DWF, 44, 5'8", 300 lbs. of Amazonian Queen, a more mature and fatter version of Xena. Looking for kind, reliable, nice companion to share jungle adventures with. - 26848 ❤ C A—Do blondes have more fun? This blond haired, blue eyed beauty does. I'm 5'5", 240 lbs. with a 42-36-53 shape to make it all happen. I'm 40 yrs. old and looking for a special man to take care of me and my desires. Prefer W/H male, 40-60. I have a lot to offer the right man. I live life to the fullest. All letters get answered and a photo would be great. 26935 ❤ C A—Gentleman, 55, 5'10", 155 lbs., intelligent, humorous, attentive, supportive, integrity, BBW admirer. Seeks large, sensuous lady with smile, honesty, and desire to share the joy of LTR. Northern California. - 26834 ❤ C A—Hello lovely, voluptuous ladies. My name is Lemuel. I'm 39, 5'11", 200 lbs. I am financially secure, I am a very loving & caring person, race open. I am looking for BBW, 28-56 yrs, 300 to 350 lbs, who is loving, caring, life loving, & loves to laugh. Photo & letter gets a quick reply. 26900 ❤ C A—Hello, I'm a SWM, 21, 6'2", 330 lbs. ISO SW Christian supersized BBW (preferably over 300#) to hang out with. Must be happy with your size and like Star Trek! I enjoy going on long walks, or just a drive in the country. Please write to me. I promise to write back. Photo greatly appreciated. Oh, by the way... I'm crazy about redheads! - 26961 ❤ C A—Hi Honey—Are you dreaming about holding my soft body next to yours while taking a bubble bath together? I'm a big, beautiful, very busty babe, 43, 5'9", 290, blond/blue. I'll be waiting. Photo. - 26963 ❤ C A—Layla LaShelle seeks lifemate. Degreed computer pro, legit actress. ISO intelligent Christian gentleman. Currently cannot travel. Career ambitions, courteous, loyal, sensuousYes! Age, race, looks-not! Youngsters, pets: great! N/S/D/D. - 26926 ❤ C A—Monterey, CA: large, luscious, and lascivious, very liberal, sensual, smart, and strong, affectionate, fun loving, spiritual Goddess (nonreligious), fabulously fortyied. Love water sports, swimming and animals, trips and dancing. Desirous of emotionally and physically strong man who loves himself and who enjoys sharing his inner and outer self with others. Prefer joyful man who lives close and has true desire for intimate and loving relationship now. No snivelers, Limbaugh loving hunting cave dwellers please! - 26823

PERSONAL ADS

Up to 30 words =

■ Use the form below for the text of your ad (use an extra piece of paper if needed) ■ Print legibly and use capital and lower case letters.

■ Frequency discount: If you run the same ad three times, you get a 20% discount off the total price. ■ With your paid print ad, you get a free voice ad (we'll send you a password and instructions). ■ For your protection, all ads are run with a code number, no names or addresses. ■ Due to the volume of ads, we cannot acknowledge receipt of your ad.

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$9.00/issue $9.00 + ___ x $.30= $______ Cost to run ad once = $______

Run my ad _____ times -----------> Total = $______ If you run ad 3 times, subtract 20%:

■ Personals are $9.00 for up to 30 words and $.30 for each additional word. Free photo with ad

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TOTAL enclosed $_______ Name ____________________________________ Address __________________________________ City/State/Zip ______________________________

Mail to: DIMENSIONS Classifieds P. O. Box 640 Folsom, CA 95763-0640

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C A—Nice-looking, well-groomed DWM ISO true female FA with conservative values for friendship/LTR. Interests include: the A's, travel, dining out, good conversation. Prefer ages 35-55; closet feeders welcome, but will answer all. Your photo/phone gets mine. SF/Sacramento/Central Valley. - 26917 ❤ C A—HELLO TO ALL BBS, THIS SBM, 6ft, employed, would love to hear from you. I'm interested in corresponding with a single woman 40-55 years, 300 lbs, fun personality, loving nature. I like alternative music, dining out, movies. Race/looks open for LTR. - 26877 ❤ C A—Northern California - Happily married WBBW seeks healthy, discreet playmate to entertain me and appreciate my tummy rolls and thunderous thighs. 42, 5'7", 350 lbs., 5049-60, with 36" thighs. Photo/phone. - 26814 ❤ C A—One highly-intelligent, articulate SWM/ SAM in area 415 or 650, wanted for an ongoing, mutually-respectful, egalitarian, erotic friendship. I'm very attractive, tall, size 22, cerebral, independent, honest, and level headed. No games, smokers, or drugs. Letters welcomed. - 26887 ❤

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ABOUT THE 900 TALKING PERSONALS Due to the popularity of our personal ads, we established the Dimensions Personals 900 line! Say you see an ad in Dimensions that appeals to you, but you just don’t feel like writing a letter. Or you can’t wait to get in contact with the person. Or you want to browse. So you simply pick up the phone, call 1-900-420-5575, and leave a message for the partner of your dreams (900 calls are billed at $1.49/minute to your phone bill). Anyone who places an ad in Dimensions Magazine gets a free voice mail ad! It’s a great way to meet people.

How To Reply To A Personal Ad By Phone Call 1-900-420-5575 to listen to personal ads and leave messages for advertisers with 5-digit code numbers. The system will give you directions. Calls will be billed at $1.49/minute to your phone bill. You must be 18 or older. Voice ads from older issues may no longer be online.

How To Reply To A Personal Ad By Letter Include your reply in an unsealed stamped envelope. If you send in more than one reply, you may mail your letters (each in a stamped, unsealed envelope) to us in one large envelope. We cannot forward unstamped letters. Add $1 per reply (cash if under $5). Write the code in the lower left corner of the reply envelope. Send to: Dimensions, POB 640, Folsom, CA 95763-0640.

Rules Of Conduct Both advertisers and respondents must observe the rules of civilized behavior. Unacceptable behavior includes failing to disclose marital status or other important facts (such as residency in a penal institution or infectious medical conditions); lying; issuing threats; harassing (which includes attempting to continue contact after being requested not to); writing or mailing obscenity; and sending unsolicited advertising. Dimensions cannot guarantee the absence of unacceptable behavior by advertisers or respondents, but we will not print or forward any material that we are aware is in violation. We urge you to use c ommon sense and caution when mee ting any stranger for the first time. We do not assume any responsibility for your actions.

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August 1998

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(continued from page 9) CA—QUEST OF THE BOUNTIFUL DIVA Aaah... I see you’re a man who enjoys a saucy tale. Okay. One more, then it’s off to Romance Land for you, My Pet... CHAPTER ONE: On a towering hill, overlooking the glorious city of San Francisco, lived a most exotic Creatress. She stood five-feet-nine-inches, in her black-lace-stockinged feet. At 238 curvaceous pounds, her flawless ivory skin was a startling contrast to her midnight-velvet-bustier, which magnificently showcased her 48EEx38x52 body. With shoulder-length, ravenhair; finely chiseled cheek bones; wide, expressive green eyes; and full, kissable scarlet lips, Bountiful Diva bore a striking resemblance to her proud Cherokee huntress grandmother, "Seeing Woman." CHAPTER TWO: In spite of enjoying more than her fair share of admirers, shortly after her fortysecond birthday, Bountiful Diva set off on a quest for her lifemate. Like her, he would be a passionate-romantic, brilliant, witty, playful, accomplished in many things, and entirely wise about the world and himself. Perhaps he'd share her literary ambitions as writer and poet, entrepreneur, and marketing guru. In any case, he was a man who had achieved a great deal, though he was not defined by these accomplishments. He was, by nature, highly sexual, a toucher, kisser, hugger, petter, romancer - a one-woman-man who craved a bigger-than-lifewoman, who was as adventurous, spontaneous and game for life as she was. CHAPTER THREE: Together, Bountiful Diva and her lifemate explored the world in each other's arms; ordered room service in four-star hotels; tangoed on roof-tops; inspired one another to write volumes of poetry, which they read aloud by the fire; drank Merlot from each other's luscious lips; laughed 'til their bellies ached; kissed from dusk-to-dawn; played hide-n-seek in Big Sur; delighted in museums, ancient ruins, art galleries, theaters, nature and the outdoors, cafe society, and most of all—each other. CHAPTER FOUR: The Beginning. EPILOGUE: There you have it, Gentle Man. If you want me to know you, the way to my heart is through your prose. Write telling me what you ache for. Bring a smile to my lips. Tickle my belly with your wit. Entice me with your talent and you shall be rewarded with a passion that will consume us both for an eternity. 26875 ❤ C A —Retired black male seeks romantic and sensual W/H BBW, 55-65, 300 lbs and up, large, wide bottom, heavy thighs, thick calves. You should enjoy monthly weekend getaways, wearing exotic lingerie, shopping, cuddling, dining, and being discreet. Me: secure, very generous, and thoughtful, enjoy shopping for my lady. I am a honest and serious FA. Photo and phone please. Will answer same day. - 26854 ❤

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CA—Voluptuous, erotic woman wanted by a lean, clean sex machine BM. Age, race unimportant. Letter and photo appreciated. - 26813 ❤ C A —SWF, 31, no children, 5'7", hourglass figure, size 24/26, brown eyes, very long auburn hair, active, outgoing, mature, independent, successful, financially and emotionally secure, honest, warm, affectionate, and extremely feminine. N/S, L/D, drug/ disease free. Enjoys movies, music, travel, conversation, physical/emotional intimacy, ISO SWM, 30-45, mature, responsible, honest, romantic, passionate, financially/emotionally secure, old fashioned, marriage minded, with respectable values. Must be very clean and well groomed. I am willing to relocate for the right man. No feeders/inmates. Your letter/photo get mine. - 26818 ❤ C A —SWF, 33, 5'10", 340 lbs., N/S, N/Drugs, mother of one, open minded, honest, homeowner on 6 acres, C&W music. I love kids and animals, gardening, camping, amusement parks, and the outdoors. I enjoy movies, videos, occasional dining out, home cooking, affectionate. ISO a true FA S/DM, 5'10"+, 32-43, race unimportant, N/S, N/Drugs, employed, financially secure, similar interests, honest, sense of humor, caring, and affectionate. No inmates/feeders. Beard and/or mustache a plus. Interested ina one-on-one LTR. Serious inquiries only. Letter/photo. Will reply to all. - 26847 ❤ CA—SWF, 34, 400+lbs., 5'9", disease/drugfree. Financially/emotionally secure, one child, enjoys music, outdoors, kids, carnivals, card/board games. Seeking HONEST, husky white or hispanic man, over 220 lbs, same status, for friendship, then LTR. No feeders. Photo, please. - 26861 ❤ C A —SWM, 5'11", 33, blonde and blue-eyed Scandinavian. This regular guy works every day and is a student of life. No time for foolish fantasies. Seeking SWF, 18-35. Please send full-length photo. 26849 ❤ C A —Ultra feminist seeks life partner and friend. Me: An African-Native Queen, always a top, worldly, believes in new ways of being, not the usual, spiritual ie: Malidome some, free-loving, intensely passionate. You: Full-headed blond (preferred, not required), bottom, N/S, N/D, feminist, gentle, orally sophisticated, likes refinement and sometimes the contemporary; Slim or muscular, ~25-45,

5'10" or taller, educated, progressive and very moral and monogamous. Letters & photos welcomed. Brad Pitt type. - 26940 ❤ C A —SWM, firefighter, 45, 6'2", 190 lbs. Interests include; outdoor activities and travel. Seeks tall and up to 250 lbs SWF or SLF professional for LTR, to 47 years of age. Photo please, note OK. - 26919 ❤ C a n a d a—My tastes are quite extravagant and ambitious. My dream is a woman who is over 6ft tall and over 300lb, is playful and cares. I am a free-wheeling, fun-loving type of guy. I am skinny (200lbs) and short (6ft). I am physically fit and vigorous. I love the outdoors and water. At 46 my life has just begun. - 26871 ❤ C a n a d a—Super Sexy, Statuesque, 5'11", 280lbs, 52-42-58 hourglass, 24 year old SWF. ISO a strong, sexy, adoring man, unpretentious, clever, romantic and adventurous, for LOVE, LAUGHTER, ROMANCE. Age/race open, preferably over 5'10", non/smoker. Letters OK, photo appreciated. - 26869 ❤ C a n a d a—SWF, 26, 5'4", 290lbs., blue eyes, brown hair, NS, drug & disease free, romantic, kind, honest. I enjoy country music, being outdoors, and I love animals. I'm in search of a SWM who's financially stable, romantic, honest, age 24-36. Someone who is marriage minded like me, who wants kids someday. Letter/photo gets mine. No Feeders Please. 26956 ❤ Canada—Victoria BC, Statuesque, 280 lbs. brunette, 44, hourglass figure, funny, brainy, sweet and sexy, down to earth and adventurous, welcomes wooing by passionate, kind, successful, one-woman-ever-loving-hunk-ofman. - 26981 ❤ C O —Smart, sensual, sarcastic, single, 26. Attractive Asian American, 48D/40/52, enjoys movies, cooking, concerts, baseball, romance, and more. Seeking honest, intelligent, insatiable, independent, fun-loving man under 35. Let's get together! - 26855 ❤ C T—Beauty, Brains, Brawn! Successful professional BBW, 50 (look, act, feel, think like 35!), looking for love, lust, laughter, and loyalty. If you can offer these (as I can!), are an intelligent, feeling, secure NS/ND man, let's talk! I'm 5'2", blue eyes, red hair, and a fit size 20/22. - 26806 ❤ D C—SWM, 37, engineer by profession, 5'8", 190 lbs, exercises a lot, average looks, receding hairline. Seeks buxom women, 30-50. Weight, race, looks unimportant. Have car, willing to travel 1-1/2 hrs from DC or 30 min from 95 btwn DC-Phila. Welcome to come here. Will respond to all promptly. - 26896 ❤ E n g l a n d—Handsome, successful, blue-eyed blond Englishman, early 30's, 5'11", 180 lbs, cute but genuine, seeks tall, professional, fun and loving BBW, age 21-35, for romantic trans-

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Chicago NAAFA invites you to the

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Sunday November 15, 1998

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ERRATA We’re always trying to do the best job possible and exrocise any errors before an issue goes to press, but some gremlins manage to immortalize themselves in print anyway. Apologies! We’ll work harder. Fe mal e F A colum n w ithout end ing— Judi’s most excellent Female FA column in the June 1998 issue ended in mid sentence. Sorry! Here’s the ending: . . . ”I take several bold steps inside, let the pulse of the music wash over me, and look around. What meets my eyes, is a sea of av erage size men; some very nice I’m sure, but many with shark fangs gleaming. I strain

Friday November 13, 1998

Holiday Sci-fi PJ Party (Proper attire required in public areas of hotel)

“Futuristic Fashion Show” Brunch and Fashion Show Saturd a y November 14, 1998

INTERPLANETARY LUNCHEON Location Parsippany Hilton New Jersey N J NAAFA (973) 927-3103 POB 164 Succasunna, NJ 07876 [email protected]

my eyes through the smoky haze, and I may see one lone fat man in the corner, hunched over a drink. I don’t know, is he ap proachable, or does he want to be left alone to drown his sorrows? I’m not getting any signals, and anyway, one man is not a heck of a lot to choose from. So I head for the se curity of a table, order a glass of red wine, and become spectator. I’m very good at that. I may go up and put in a harmony with sis, but mostly I exercise my reperto ry of reverse body language and spend the night warding off sharks; and wondering how this could be happening to me. Why aren’t lots of female FAs and wonderful large size men, mingling with one anoth er? It seems like such a waste, and unfair

Lynn McAfee Saturd a y Evening

“SOME LIKE IT HOT” ROARING TWENTIES to us both. The conclusion I have come to, with the help of Bill Fabrey and others, is that, it is evident that female FAs and the big, hunky men we admire, must have a place to con nect, and learn about one another; and fall in love with each other, just as my brother FAs have done. I don’t think it should be a separate movement, but included in the existing size movement. I’m tired of being the token FFA, in a world of men.” Wrong credit—The story “Zap! You’re fat”, starting on page 44 of the June 1998 issue was improperly credited. The correct credit is: “Story By Marsha Coupé. Illustration By Mac.)”

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OUTLOOK In the Name of Fat Seeing how William Buckley, Dave Be r ry, Maureen Dowd and the dearly departed Mike Ryko were not available, the editor-in-chief reached down among the commoners and tapped the shoulder of one more common. “Since everyone deserves their fifteen minutes, write me a column,” he said. I replied that he was talking to someone who took high school English in summer school for three consecutive years so he would only have to write for two months instead of nine. “Fear not; I only want the opinions of an FA on any subject that crosses your mind,” he reassured me. Figuring he was in one of those California-induced purple hazes I decided to take him up on the offer. When you are a Texas boy wandering the emotionally draining streets of Manhattan, you might as well salvage something by letting a little ink flow. Now I’m here to tell you I am not any wizard with the King’s English. I calls them as I sees them. No fancy thought will pass these fingertips. I can’t think of the fifteen different ways Mr. Max could glorify “fat”, nor can I dream up, like Mr. Schwartz, the countless ways traveling in airports mirror people going on diets. But opinions, like Carter’s Liver Pills, I’ve got a truckload. So I’ll pull the hayseed out of my hair, y’all pull up your chair, kick back and let’s talk some turkey. It’s been seven years since I picked up my first BBW magazine and gazed upon the wide, wonderful and wickedly controversial world of BBW’s, BHM’s and size acceptance for the first time. I blasted that closet apart and ain’t looked back. It’s been a tantalizing, chaotic and a very fulfilling roller-coaster ride through life; never boring, it has left me with rich emotional memories full of many positive experiences. However, with the good, comes the questionable. It will always be the intent of this ink-stained scribe to present both sides of the equation. Y’all take your pick. I’ve seen many different individual performances on this stage known as “size acceptance.” We have all felt the good, the bad and the ugly. But one thread is constantly weaved throughout this tapestry: It is all done “In the Name of Fat”. Having been single for six years, I served my time on the front lines. It can either be as bad as you hear or a truly magnificent experience. So many beautiful people, so many crass idiots. Kinda like life itself. Cause what I’ve seen, the more you hold

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GLEN SOMMERS life’s tribulations as a person of size in the pure light of reason, the more you understand that all people have their very own cross to carry no matter how they are “challenged.” But there are special situations that are indigenous to each and every group. For whatever their motivation or reality has been, many BBW’s feel an ominous, self destructive drive to accept any form of love or affection that passes their way. There is a foul element of men who know this. They prey on this. They’ll do anything to satisfy their primal urges with ill-gotten gains done “In the Name of Fat.” I’ve seen this pathetic kind at work. They leer through their perfectly coifed exteriors while spinning intoxicating tales of forever and have no recollection of what her last name is. They take a lead they never concede and serve a heaping helping of fake sensitivity that’s tailored to fit their next victim. They may wrap themselves in leather, Calvin Klein or even the Good Book but rest assured, slime will eventually make its presence known. Ladies, I’m here to tell ya: ya’ll don’t have to accept this. There are good men out there and glory be, even great FA’s. But you’ve got to throw away the chaff to get to the wheat. At the start of a relation-

ship, a good man will want to be your friend first. A good man will let you take the lead until you pass it on to him. And he will never take advantage of you “In the Name of Fat.” Does anyone here approve of the way society regards us “Children of Size”? Does anyone here think the laws of this land afford us equal protection should prejudice casts its shadow among us? Of course not. That’s why we’ve got activists out there charging up San Juan Hill and taking on any institution that would besmirch us. May God bless all of them; they deserve our support. They know that gross indiscretions must not be tolerated and just as equally important: The consciousness of the majority must be made aware of the prejudice faced by the minority. The sensibilities of the majority are aroused to the point of ending this outrage. In other words, public perception. This is where the problem starts on our end. Sometimes those activists get a little crazy and become zealots. While the original intentions were good, they lose sight of the prize and careen down the road with their own agendas, not paying any attention to what they run over. They embrace any conduct, words or actions of any person or organization, as long as it’s done “In the Name of Fat.” There is not enough space in this column to lay out specifics--size activism is worthy of several columns unto itself. However, I want to toss out some oldfashioned horsesense that these zealots tend to overlook. While y’all are raisin’ cane, don’t forget what your target audience is and the fundamental purpose should be. While you’re out there slippin’ in personal agendas and thumbin’ noses, people are forming lasting opinions. When you’re putting together size marches and making the title theme a parody, the majority may be taking note but odds are it won’t be for the right reasons. We should

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A Party Not to Miss!!!! Call our Dance Hotline for more info: 781-893-1985 Or e-mail us at [email protected] For discount hotel reservations call ASAP 781-935-8160 Dimensions

August 1998

13

INSIDE A Visit to the Gynecologist My friend Frannie and I recently shared an intimate encounter that began in her bathroom, with a soup ladle, a cup, and a roll of tape. Shortly thereafter, we found ourselves faced with p robing inquiries about our bodies: “Are relations uncomfortable?,” “Does it feel like anything is pushing out your vagina?,” and the inevitable, “Have you had a blood transfusion lately?” As we sat on a fat-friendly sofa, dutifully recording private details of our lives, I snuck a peek over my clipboard at Frannie, and we immediately erupted in snickers, teehee’s and downright laughter which masked, at least for a moment, my angst over being in a place I often leave feeling violated, a place we both were way overdue for a visit—the gynecologist. After a few minutes spent discreetly comparing our tummies to the pregnant ladies’, we were summoned into a second waiting area by our nurse, a midsize BBW. She pointed us to the bathroom, which contained a small table stacked with sterile containers. A note tacked to the wall provided our instructions. Anticipating a reach issue, Frannie had fashioned a clever tool (remember the soup ladle, cup, and roll of tape?) to help her get a “clean catch,” which the doctor tells us is critical in detecting urinary tract infections. Mission accomplished, we had a seat on a comfortably-padded, armless bench. As we waited, Frannie noticed one of those scales with the weights (the ones that “bottom out” at 350 lbs.) and knowing the scale isn’t adequate for even one of us, she playfully suggests we get on it together to check out the numbers. As with so many things in our lives, what works for the “average” person isn’t adequate for us, and scales are no exception, so we’ve devised a clever way of tracking our weights. Frannie keeps two ordinary scales in her bathroom, and while one of us balances with one foot on each scale, the other reads the numbers from each scale upside down and adds them together. Our BBW nurse obviously knew that those scales wouldn’t work for us, because she didn’t even mention weighing as we breezed into another room to answer more questions and have our blood pressure charted. (She used a larger cuff without us even having to request it.) The doctor stopped in to introduce herself, and to let us know she’d like to meet with us in her office before our exams. When she asked who would like to be first, we looked

ELIZABETH FISHER at each other and said in unison, “We want to go in together.” Although the chairs in her office were a bit snug, I was impressed that she was taking time to meet with us before the examination. Her non-condescending manner immediately put us at ease, and while we did briefly discuss our size and our negative experiences with dieting, it was only one small part of the discussion, and clearly not as significant to her as our surprisingly similar medical histories. Back in the exam room Frannie and I were left alone. Having drawn the lucky “you go first” card, I stripped off my clothes while skeptically eyeing the gown they had laid out for me to wear. To my amazement, it fit. No shredded paper gown for me. Unfortunately, the stepladder they rounded up when we requested a stepstool was hardly adequate for the job. Instead, with Frannie standing at the rear of the table (in case it decided to fly up off the floor), I gingerly stepped on the pullout step at the other end and in one not-too-gracious leap, landed firmly on the exam table. When the doctor appeared I laid back and, with my legs spread wide and my heels in the stirrups, scooted my rear end into position, moving until it was spilling over the end of the table. The exam began routinely, and it appeared the only concession the doctor made to my size was to

use the long speculum. Most of the exam was routine for me. I knew what to expect, and I was spending more time looking sideways to where Frannie was sitting than I was paying attention to what the doctor was doing “down there.” After a brief warning from the doctor, Frannie heard me shriek, pretty much the way I do when someone grabs a really ticklish spot. Frannie says my body came up off the table. I had just been the recipient of my first rectal exam. Once my heart started beating normally again, doctor and nurse left the room, so I could dress. By the time the nurse came back with another large-size gown in hand, ready to re-prepare the room for Frannie, we were one step ahead of her. Frannie had already stripped and slipped into my gown, we had put fresh paper on the exam table, and Frannie was on the table and ready for the doctor. Soon we were back with the same doctor, another long speculum, and Frannie bargaining: “If you don’t do the rectal exam, I promise I won’t wait another 10 years to come back,” she pleaded. I have to hand it to Frannie, because after a patiently detailed explanation of why the exam was necessary, Frannie endured it like a trooper. Seeing her lying there on the table gave me a new understanding of what I must look like from the doctor’s perspective, and of how inadequately prepared doctors are for people our size. If you can imagine balancing jello on a butter knife, that would give you a pretty clear picture of how Frannie looked lying on the narrow table. I think the hardest part of the whole appointment for me was getting dressed again. As many things as Frannie and I have shared, and as many intimate details as we had just learned about each other as we discussed our medical histories with the doctor, nothing prepared me for the realization that I could not reach to wipe what must have been a half tube of squishy lubricant from between the

(continued on page 49) 14

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WELL BEING Role Models One of the files I keep open is a repository of stories about people I consider to be role models— whether or not I have ever met them personally. They are people whose actions and lives inspire me. They show me what is possible, sometimes despite incredibly difficult circumstances. One such role model was Paul Hearne who had a crippling disease and spent his life in a wheelchair, yet managed to become a lawyer and advocate for the rights of disabled people nationwide. According to the New York Times, Hearne “would zip through the corridors of power on his motorized scooter, screech to a halt millimeters away from a bureaucrat’s toes, and then, with a combination of persuasive logic and infectious good humor, win yet another convert to his lifelong campaign to make life easier for those with disabilities and more fun for everybody.” He was a founder or officer of virtually every national organization for the disabled, and had helped create the Americans With Disabilities Act. My first fat role model was Maryann, who helped me co-lead our local NAAFA chapter. Maryann was a supersized dynamo who was liked and respected at her job. She was always well dressed and groomed, and seemed always to have a man in her life. She had many talents, including the calligraphy with which she made our NAAFA signs for local events. She was a talented singer and a graceful dancer, sociable, reliable, hard-working, smart, and good-humored. While other NAAFAns continue to show me what is possible for a fat person in our culture, Maryann was the first I referred to in my book, Worth Your Weight. Yesterday, I was interviewed for a magazine article for teenage girls. The article will be about how they can deal with our weight-obsessed culture, especially if they are not thin. One resource I mentioned was role models. Especially when we are young, it is important for us to see grownups with whom we can identify. If they are good role models, we want to aim our lives so that we can grow up like them. When I was a child, athletes like Mickey Mantle or movie stars like Grace Kelly were popular role models who offered a lot to emulate. Unfortunately, there were few positive fat role models other than Jackie Gleason. Fat people in the media

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BARBARA ALTMAN BRUNO, PH.D. were buffoons, asexual, sloppy, or crude. It is only very recently that we are seeing some talented, attractive, positive fat role models such as Camryn Manheim, Kathy Najimy, Rosie O'Donnell, or John Goodman. While some young people are fortunate enough to grow up with a family member, teacher, or coach who is a fatpositive role model, others see their mothers constantly obsessing about weight, or hear their fathers’ or teachers’ negative comments about their or others’ size. When they are taunted by schoolmates, they have no one to imagine being like, and perhaps no one whom they believe will stand up for them. We need role models to show us what is possible for us. Too often lately the public figures we used to look up to, including politicians, athletes, and movie stars, behave in ways best not emulated. Too often, the adults we look up to are obsessed with being thinner or being with people who look to be surgically enhanced or reduced. There was a discussion in a fat-related Internet group about a middle school teacher who took his students to a pool as a reward. When the students asked him to join them swimming, he said he didn’t have a bathing suit. Several students gath-

ered around him and said, “You don’t have to be embarrassed. We already like you.” Their compassion moved him such that he had to really face his shame about swimming in public. Much of the feedback in the group was about how well he had sensitized such a class of youngsters. The rest of the feedback was from people who said, basically, “Don’t worry about what others think. You only live once; you might as well have fun!” Some talked about how they had faced their fear of swimming in public—e.g., they brought along a supportive friend, found a bathing suit, found or arranged a women-only or fat-only swim time, or made many attempts before they ever got to the water. Those who were already enjoying the blissful experience of swimming, served as role models for those who were afraid—including this teacher. The discussants also made the point that any time a fat person appears in public having a good time, they serve as a role model. It takes a huge amount of courage to live fully, or to date in public someone, in a full-size body, yet each step seems to make the next one easier. Sometimes people took needed retreats in order to regroup. But just as this teacher was making life better for fat people in the future by educating youngsters to be fat accepting, so each of us can make life better for a younger person who is or prefers to be with a fat person. So consider this: each time you venture out in public to live well, you are not only making your own life better, but you are also serving as a role model for someone else—who then can become someone else's role model-and so on, down the line. If you need a role model to help you get started, just look through this magazine. ❧ Barbara Altman Bruno, Ph.D., is a clinical social worker, size acceptance activist and educator, and author of Worth Your Weight (Rutledge Books, 1996).

FEMALE FA COLUMN Why I Prefer Fat Men I have been a fat admirer all my life. When I was a little girl, I was always drawn to fat people. I loved the way they looked. I didn’t know there was anything unusual about this. As I got older, I would hear people make fun of fat people and say they were lazy, smelly and all sorts of negative things, but that was never my experience. I am still angered when I hear that sort of g a r b a g e. When I would speak up and say that I liked fat people and challenged what they were saying, I was told I was too young and then they tried to convince me that being fat was bad, ugly and unhealthy. I didn’t believe them then, and I definitely know better now! I didn’t care what anyone thought of my preferences and I still don’t. I know what I like and I make no apologies for it. Most people just look at me as if I were insane when I admit to finding fat people attractive, but it doesn’t matter. I never hide the fact that I am an FA. I am constantly receiving letters (from people who read my columns in men’s magazines), asking me if I really mean it when I write things like, “I prefer big men and the bigger the better!” Sometimes I get letters from big men who think I just write this into my column to appease an otherwise neglected audience. Other times, the letters are from either thin men or muscle bound jocks who think I write this stuff, “to be nice to fat guys” as they put it. Some of these men even have the nerve to ask me things like, “have you ever been with a good looking, confident man in reasonably good shape?” As it turned out, after I wrote back to the man who specifically asked that question and assured him that I have never been with anything but good looking, confident men in very good shape, (all no less than 280lbs.), he then admitted that he was around 400lbs. himself! I wrote him again and asked him why it bothered him that I always include men of size in my columns and I speculated that the insult he wrote in that first letter was reflective of his own self esteem issues. I was right and he admitted to suffering from serious depression and self loathing. Sadly, I get many letters from big men who tell me they want to kill themselves. I get letters telling me that they consider themselves cursed and that they will nev-

GINGER er find a woman. Too often, it’s that attitude, not their size, that women are turned off by. There is still this notion that any fat guy can walk into any bar and pick up a woman, but that a fat woman cannot. Maybe there was a time when this was true, but I know that here in the 90’s, this isn’t true at all! Big men have many of the same issues and face the same discrimination that big women do, but many people are not aware of this, and unfortunately, too many big men and their admirers do not speak up about it. Men are no longer immune to eating disorders and weight loss surgery nightmares! Whenever I mention to anyone that I prefer big men, the first thing most people will ask me is, “What, you mean like John Goodman?” Well, yes, I think John Goodman is gorgeous, but he doesn’t represent the limit of the size of man I am attracted to. I have no limit on the high end! I like men who are supersized; 400, 600lbs. or higher! As big as people get! That’s the part that shocks them. It’s almost okay to say you find a man like John Goodman attractive. After all, he is a movie star, right? However, to tell someone that you find a man like the late Walter Hudson even

more attractive, boggles their minds! What really annoys me is when they try to attach some lack of self esteem on my part to my preference. I am told things like, “But you’re so pretty; you can have any man you want,” or “You’re so pretty and smart; you can do better than that!” I abhor being spoken to like a child, but I am really angered by the notion that what I like is unacceptable and that there is something “better than that,” or that I am “settling” by being with big men! On the contrary, I am not settling and to me there is nothing better than being with a big man. So I ask them how they could say something like that when there are so many big men who are active, healthy, attractive, perhaps professionals, like lawyers or corporate managers or who might be talented artists or musicians. I try to disarm them by demonstrating that what they are saying to me is based on bigotry and ignorance, rather than fact. They might walk away still thinking I’m insane, but at least I leave them with something to think about. I find big men genuinely more attractive. I have met other women who prefer big men and none of them felt they were settling either. Some of these women were BBW’s and other were not, but none of them felt anything but genuine attraction towards big men. Its sad that anyone should be made to feel that what they are attracted to is wrong or abnormal. I feel that I shouldn’t have to constantly justify my preferences to others, but if I don’t, I would then be misinterpreted as admitting there is something abnormal about it. What’s worse though, is when I have to justify this preference to big men who don’t believe that my attraction to them is genuine. Many big men cannot understand why anyone continued on page 57

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dangerous

NIH Weirdness b y s a l l y e. s m i t h

The National Institutes of Health are at it again. This time they arbitrarily declare 25 million more people “obese” in a move that seems to help no one but the diet industry.

ell, the National Institutes of Health is at it again. In June, two divisions of the NIH released what they touted as “The first Federal guidelines on the identification, evaluation, and treatment of overweight and obesity in adults.” Okay, let’s get this straight. Our tax dollars are being used to issue guidelines on how to identify fat people. Heck, I’ve found that most people don’t need to go to medical school in order to figure out who’s fat; If the NIH would have just gone to a Bethesda schoolyard, they would have quickly realized that even preschoolers can identify fat people. As for the evaluation portion of these mesmerizing guidelines, it seems to me that doctors already evaluate fat people in the two ways the NIH recommends: “You’re overweight and you need to go on a diet,” and “You’re obese and you’re going to drop dead if you don’t buy my diet.” Ah, yes, then there’s the omnipresent treatment facet of the guidelines. They provide a veritable—excuse the expression—smorgasbord of options: food diaries, exercise, etc. (behavioral treatment), starvation (dietary treatment), pill popping (pharmaceutical treatment), and slice and dice (surgical treatment). According to an NIH press release about the guidelines, “The most successful strategies for weight loss include calorie reduction, increased physical activity, and behavior therapy...” If these are the most successful weight loss methods, and in 1992 an NIH consensus conference that concluded that 95% of these attempts at weight loss fail, I’d hate to see what the NIH considers the least successful weight loss strategies! And is this deja vu, or didn’t the American Obesity Association and Shape Up America (the major players in which are also insiders in the incestuous NIH Committee world) come out with “guidances”

W

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a year or so ago that were—like the NIH’s—going to be sent to every doctor in the country? Do I smell some kind of internal bickering and oneupsmanship going on here? It reeks of political infighting to me.

According to an NIH press release about the guidelines, “The most successful strategies for weight loss include calorie reduction, increased physical activity, and behavior therapy...” If these are the most successful weight loss methods, and in 1992 an NIH consensus conference that concluded that 95% of these attempts at weight loss fail, I’d hate to see what the NIH considers the least successful weight loss strategies! The expert panel convened by the NIH was chaired by Dr. Xavier Pi-Sunyer, di-

rector of the Obesity Research Center, St. Luke’s/Roosevelt Hospital Center in New York City. From information in an investigative report published in the New Jer sey Star Ledger, we know that Pi-Sunyer sits on the advisory board of American Home Products, Wyeth-Ayerst labs, and Knoll Pharmaceuticals, all of which make diet pills. He was a consultant to Hoffman La-Roche, Knoll, Genetech, Eli Lilly and Weight Watchers International. He sits on a board created by Knoll Pharmaceuticals to provide research grants, and is an advisor to the American Obesity Association, which is also funded by the commercial weight loss and pharmaceutical industries. It’s certain that Pi-Sunyer, his colleagues, and their weight loss industry/pharmaceutical company backers have a tremendous economic stake in these new federal guidelines, which—to repeat—will be sent to every primary care physician in the United States. The cornerstone of these new, improved NIH guidelines is the redefinition of “overweight” and “obese.” We all know that the definitions of “overweight” and “obese” are arbitrary; after all, the definitions change every few years. In defining “overweight” as a body mass index (BMI) of 25 - 29.9 and “obesity” as a BMI of 30 and above, the NIH responded to pressure from the World Health Organization, which adopted these definitions some time ago—despite there being little evidence of increased health risk with a BMI of 25 - 26.9. For liberal arts majors like me, who can’t calculate BMI without straining my brain, a BMI of 30 is equivalent to a 6’ 221 pound person or a 5’6" 186 pound person. This redefinition, which means that 25 million more people are now considered “overweight,” will do nothing to improve health, other than the health of the bank balances of the $33 billion diet industry. In these guidelines, the NIH is once

again focussing on weight rather than health. It is ludicrous and dangerous to create public health policy encouraging people to lose weight. For example, the guidelines recommend weight loss to lower high blood pressure, to lower high total cholesterol, and to lower elevated blood glucose in “overweight” people with two or more risk factors and in “obese” persons who are at increased risk. Yet research shows that dieting may cause high blood pressure, in that blood pressure increases with weight regain following weight loss. With the failure rate of weight loss attempts, weight regain is inevitable, so it is dangerous to prescribe weight loss for people with high blood pressure. Likewise, one of the dangerous side effects of the new diet drug Meridia is that it increases blood pressure, and that it should not be used by people with high blood pressure. Responsible public health policy would recognize that co-morbid conditions such as hypertension, high cholesterol, and elevated blood glucose can be improved independent of weight loss, through changes in dietary habits and increased exercise; they can also be improved through safe, effective medications. Changes in dietary and exercise habits and medications are routinely prescribed for average size people with these conditions; I can only assume that these same treatments are not recommended because the NIH panel was blinded by their and their sponsors’ economic interest. Not that anything the NIH does should surprise me anymore, but the guidelines (which are public health policy) also recommend diet drugs for that 5'6" 186 pound (30 BMI) person, or someone with a BMI of 27 (27!?) with two or more risk factors, such as hypertension or high cholesterol. But, of course, the NIH didn’t stop there. If they’re going to create abysmal public health policy, they might as well go all the way. Thus, the guidelines recommend that after doctors evaluate whether or not a patient is fat (again, that requires a lot of special training!), they evaluate risk factors and—are you sitting down?—determine the patient’s waist circumference. Yeah, right. I’m going to let a doctor—a doctor who’s not even an FA—measure my waist. Not! You see, according to the NIH, “excess abdominal fat is an independent predictor of disease risk.” Of course, they failed to mention that research indicates that when weight is regained after weight loss, more fat accumulates in the abdom-

inal area. So a lot of abdominal fat may be a predictor for disease, but if the underlying cause of the fat is yo-yo dieting, how in the world could they make public health policy encourage people to diet? But the major problem with promoting assessment and evaluation and measuring waist circumference isn’t that it’s ludicrous, it's that it’s dangerous. The NIH is putting fat patients at risk. Because of physicians’ focus on weight, fat patients already delay seeking health care. By recommending that physicians advocate weight loss to their patients and determine their waist circumference, the NIH is ensuring that even more people will refuse to seek preventative health care and delay receiving care for a given condition. If and when this policy is implemented, you can be sure that more fat patients will avoid doctors like the plague.

So, once again the NIH has missed the point. As long as they continue to focus on weight rather than health, and as long as they keep trying to find ways to make fat people thin, our community will suffer. And as ridiculous and economically motivated as these guidelines are to us, there are millions and millions—25 million more than there were several weeks ago—of people who may become seriously ill or die because of bad public health policy and biased medical care. And that's unconscionable. Sally E. Smith is Executive Director of NAAFA, the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. She has lectured at Harvard and Stanford Medical Schools. For more information about NAAFA, write POB 188620, Sacramento, CA 95818. ❧

Fighting Size Discrimination since 1969 The purpose and mission of NAAFA is to: • Work towards providing equal opportunity for people of size. • Disseminate information about all aspects of being large. • Advocate and sponsor responsible research about being a large person in our society. • To promote acceptance of big people within society. • Serve as a safe, productive forum where issues affecting people of size can be discussed. • Fight against injustices, discrimination, negative portrayal.

YES! I want to be a member and support NAAFA’s work

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Big Love Pe ople living the Dimensions lifestyle by The Romance DIVA

What a delightful thing it is when we can coax one of our own "out of the closet", (so to speak) to share their private lives with us. (Oooo, The Diva just loves diggin' around in people's private things!) So this issue of Dimensions, The Diva gets to get up close and personal with Becky Fox and Bill Sherman! You may recognize our couple as the delectable writing duo of that titillating romantic soap opera of sizable proportions, featured on Dimensions Online, Measure for Measure. And, Mr. Sherman may also be familiar to readers of Di mensions and a number of men’s magazines dedicated to the large figure as the writer of fat fiction and fantasy, at times under a nom de plume. Bill and Becky, ever the romantics, met at a mutual friends wedding in 1982. Their buddy Kim (the bride) had known of Bill's attraction to BBWs for some time. Being co-workers and all, she was able to get the dish from him. And although Kim had been sharing the info about Bill with Becky, it took the wedding, along with Becky's fortitude and a couple of drinks to get things rolling. After imbibing in several peppermint schnapps on the rocks, Becky went up to Bill at the buffet table and blurted, "You seem like a very nice man. I don’t have any of those in my life right now. Please give me a call sometime." Bill and Becky both agree it was "lust at first sight". Well, our boy Bill took his sweet time about calling the also sweet Becky. Two weeks, to be exact. But timing is important, and our couple had a memorable first date. Here is the event in Becky's own words....”We went to see Fantasia, ate a great meal, and then indulged in a night filled with unbridled passion. About 4 A.M., my big cat Punkin took real exception to the strange man tak-

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ing his spot next to me and pissed all over my antique maple dresser, watching us as he did it. After I mopped up the mess and apologized to Bill, he won my heart by saying, "His nose is out of joint and he’s jealous. He’s just going to have

to get used to this." Hurray! This guy’s a keeper!! And we’ve been together ever since. We were married June 23, 1984, sheltered in the heart of a forest, on a goddess-blessed summer afternoon." Ahhh.....romance! When I asked these two what was the attraction for each of them, Becky was the first to pipe up..."I’ve always been attracted to scholarly-looking men.... show me a guy in wire-rim glasses and I swoon! Bill was this very cute man who looked like he should be teaching Eng-

lish, and course, as I said, he embodied that ‘nerd chic’ I’ve always found so appealing. Plus he was intelligent and kind and had a social conscience." Bill says initially, his attraction to Becky was purely physical..."I can still see her in her form-fitting, bride’s maid dress...... Now, she feels like a part of me in all corners of my life." Oh Bill, not only are you an animal, but you're a sweetheart as well. The Diva approves! Bill and Becky have an interesting life, with fulfilling careers, and fun hobbies. Bill says he spends way too much time in front of the computer, always looking for new examples of fat positive images in pop culture, and struggling to keep his collector’s impulses in check. He's also an avid movie and rock-n-roll/blues/early jazz junkie. But their most prized time seems to be the hours spent together. Whether it's collaborating on their continuing romance serial, or raising their little family of furry friends, they seem to find delight in each other and their mutual loves and interests. Becky explains their little critter kiddies like this..."When Bill and I first got together, we seriously discussed whether we wanted children. At that time, Bill was working in a group home setting with disturbed kids, and I didn’t think I had the mothering instinct, so we decided that our kids would be limited to the 4-legged and furry type. As of this writing, we share our home with Cozy, a long-haired dachshund who thinks she’s a human; Ziggy Stardust, a sixmonth old Australian Shepherd; Shadow, our sweet old long-haired blue point Siamese and her two sons, Sebastian and Tristan; Stormy, the Humane Society tabby-orphan; Scrabble, the cockatiel; and 5 hermit crabs named Moe who provide entertainment in their aquarium for bathroom guests." That's quite a household! Becky and Bill are staunch supporters of NAAFA, Dimensions, and all things sizably related! They truly believe that fat is a beautiful thing. They see it as a most positive descriptor! Check out their delightful continuing romantic saga on the Dimensions web site. And if you care to write to Becky Fox and Bill Sherman, send letters c/o Dimensions Magazine or email to .

Dimensions Chat Room Well, the Romance Diva has it on good authority that another lovely romance

that blossomed in the Dimensions Chat room, (my, but that place is fertile breeding ground for connections), has taken an unlucky turn in the road on the highway of LOVE. It seems that after burning up the cyberhighways, and racking up huge phone bills between Southern California and Toronto for some months, the lovely "Ms. Carol" and "Michael" were planning on meeting face to face to see if their passion will stand the test of "chatting real time" in the flesh. However, the lovely Ms. C, while on her way home from a 4th of July outing had a nasty auto incident with another car and was laid up in the hospital. Fortunately she is OK, but with a broken knee and some rehab to do to put her back on her feet, the meeting between the love birds had to be postponed. (They didn't think the hospital setting and gown with the cheeky opening the best for a quality first encounter.) The car was recently laid to rest in a lovely little service overlooking the ocean. The Diva was in attendance. We wish a speedy recovery to dear Ms. Carol, one of own darlings, and hope the two sweethearts can get together soon before bankruptcy over the phone bill becomes a reality.



More Chat Room Talk about loooooooong distance? Aggggggghh! I recently overheard a conversation about a charming gentleman who also met his dream BBW in the Dimensions OnLine chat room. (The Diva is definitely goin' to have to spend a little time in this hotbed of hot stuff!) He lives in the U.S. East coast, and she is in Australia. The Diva hears that he may be winging his way to the land down under to woo his lady love as we speak. And, you can rest assured that The Diva will follow up on this one and update you in a future issue.

❤ The Romance DIVA would love to hear from you regarding your relationship. Please y'all do write, especially if Di mensions is responsible. Tell me all the juicy details and tidbits. Feel free to share sexy anecdotes, or whatever you think will steam up our readers. Write to The DIVA c/o Dimensions magazine or e-mail her [email protected]. And remember, The DIVA does browse the internet reg ularly for spicy gossip to print here.....be on your best behavior!

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HERETIC PHYSICIAN Our Father Art in Heaven I know what you’re thinking. This must be an article about the Lord’s Prayer or have some s p i ritual slant. But you’re wrong. This is may be the most important column you will ever read. It may save someone else’s life or, more importantly, your own. By the time you finish reading it I expect eve ry one who may be affected by an irregular heart beat (or know someone else who is) to let me know. So get a pen and paper and read on. My father, whose name was Art, recently passed away at the age of 82. My little nephews and nieces were wondering what happened to him and, as kids do, where exactly he went to. Hence the title above. Is there a heaven? I’m not sure but that is where they think our father Art is. I’ll bet you all have your own opinions. Regardless of what they are we all subliminalIy hope there is a heaven. We usually tell youngsters that this is where loved ones end up. Art was an interesting guy. Born in 1915 in our frozen north (I’m Canadian) he was raised with all the usual expectations of immigrant parents. He was preordained a doctor. And so he became one. Struggling against anti-semitism and quotas (common at the time) he graduated at 23, married a 17-year-old small town girl and leapt into the depression era with no money and few prospects. So he started his career as a country doctor. The old time country physicians were called upon any time of day or night to repair battered bodies, deliver babies and even pull teeth. Because people rarely had money in the dust bowl days, Art was remunerated with chickens, guns, vegetables, and in a few other unusual ways. He was given a live owl (I think by a famous old aboriginal chief), a dog that used to raid local chicken coups at night, and he and my mother even had a bathtub full of baby chicks. Like most young men of the time he entered the military and served as a medical officer in a prison camp for what was described as dangerous P.O.W.’s. Although he did some pioneering work in cardiac surgery (there were no heartlung bypass machines in those days) the rigors and politics of academia did not agree with him. After being examined for his fellowship by Sir Frederick Banting (the discoverer of Insulin) he pursued gener-

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MOE LERNER, M.D. al surgery and remained in practice for almost six decades. Like all human beings even Art would have admitted he was not perfect. Even though we were a large family there were many problems at home, which, for the sake of brevity I will not go into at this point. My father was somewhat cool and distant during troubled times and—like thousands of teenagers who feel (rightly or wrongly) that they lack emotional support—I was out on my own at a fairly young age. One wouldn’t consider anyone in our family as close. As my father aged and became ill he seemed to mellow and become somewhat sentimental. Along with this transformation, so too did those of us who suffered come to reconciliation. My brother, sisters, and I have grown closer. I have never been one to hold a grudge. I feel that life is too short and there are enough tribulations put in our way that one should be forgiving especially with family. When lovers and friends are gone, family is forever. One of the interesting things about Art

was that he was an eternal optimist. When my grandmother was 99 years old and totally debilitated in a nursing home bed, he felt that her life was worthwhile mostly because she was beyond the fear of death. In his latter years Art began walking for fitness. He felt that it would prolong his life. He always kept busy and until his dying days wondered if he should return to medical practice. His patients loved him and relied on him. He was a wonderful grandparent to my nephews and nieces. Although our relationship (and certainly my own personality) was far from perfect and I might have been a different parent than he was, I respected him. I shall miss him. Perhaps our father Art is in heaven.

Strong heart Art had a series of strokes. In his terminal coma people always spoke about his strong heart and lungs and that it was sad that the thing that did him in was his greatest strength in life; his mind. Yet I noticed on his cardiac monitor an irregular heart rhythm. Although this problem may run in the family, he was thankfully never aware of it nor did it stop him from walking several miles a day into his eighties. One of our readers called me describing her experience with an irregular heart rhythm that required emergency intervention and asked me write about it.

Sponge in a bucket Every cell in the human heart is a potential pacemaker. Fortunately, only one small area usually takes on that role for a lifetime. As an electric pump we should really consider the heart in terms of a top half that takes blood in, and a bottom half that pumps it out. The Sinus Node, which is the dominant

pacemaker, resides in the top part of the heart. It works on the same principle as a sponge. When you drop a sponge in a bucket it soaks up fluid until it reaches its threshold and can’t take in any more water. A heart’s pacemaker soaks up eIectrolytes like Sodium and Potassium. When it reaches its threshold it kicks the cell next to it, which repeats the process, sucking up electrolytes and kicking cells in sequence all over the top of the heart. The action causes the atrial chambers t o squeeze blood into the bottom half. Then there is a pause in this sweeping electrical buzz at a gatekeeper area situated between the top and bottom halves of the heart. This pause is designed to allow the lower ventricles time to accept the blood from the top and to fill. After this pause the gatekeeper (the A-V node) then lets the electrical wave carry on down so the bottom half of the heart can start its own electrical domino effect and pump blood to the rest of the body. The whole process only takes a second. But why and how does the process repeat itself several times a minute so blood is constantly flowing? Just as you would wring out a sponge to get it back to its original state, the pacemaker (and all the cells that followed the leader) wring themselves out using the energy supplied by oxygen and calories. Then the heart gets ready for its next beat.

Fish out of water But what happens if the supplier of oxygen and calories to the heart gets clogged, such as in cases of coronary artery disease? Then the dominant pacer may start to falter. And if the other cells in the top of the heart don’t get kicked into action after a few seconds, they may begin to compete for the top job themselves. Atrial Fibrillation describes a bunch of would-be pacemakers in the top part of the heart discharging irregularly. The heart muscle simply fibrillates and it can neither fill nor empty its chambers properly. It looks like a fish flopping around aimlessly on dry land...it doesn’t get anywhere. Fortunately, gravity allows some of the blood, that gets back to the heart by the action of bodily muscles (via the venous system), to fall into the lower chambers. Because the ventricles are still working, most people survive, but are keenly aware of irregular palpitations in the chest and are often short of breath. The back-up of blood in the system may cause congestive heart

failure. In this situation, fluid has nowhere else to go and usually ends up in the lungs or bodily tissues. The skin is often puffy especially in dependent areas like the ankles. Thanks goodness for the gatekeeper (the A-V node), for it stops most of these chaotic impulses from ever reaching the lower half of the heart. If they were all let through, the whole heart would be a useless mass of rapidly beating jelly. As is, the A-V node only lets through an occasional beat—albeit irregularly—allowing the Ventricles to at least have time to fill and empty properly. However, if the A-V node gets sick (also from coronary heart disease, scarring, or other problems) it may not be able to hold back the aforementioned flood of electrical activity. This sad scenario is incompatible with life for it now allows ventric ular fibrillation to occur, and virtually no blood gets to the body. Ventricular fibrillation can only be stopped by an immediate electrical shock. Defibrillation (the shock paddles seen on all the ER TV dramas) usually stuns the erratic pacemakers into “emptying their sponges” all at once in the hope that a single dominant pacemaker will resume command of a normally beating system.

My heart’s all aflutter Sometimes, if the normal pacemaker is sick, only a few dominant cells (rather than thousands in atrial fibrillation) will com-

pete for the top job. Atrial flutter means that these few cells kick each other repetitively in a rapid sequence. On an Electrocardiogram, the activity has a sawtooth appearance as pacers bounce their messages back and forth in a jousting match which can never be won. However, even though there is a little more regularity than with Fibrillation, this is still a potentially life threatening situation. It all depends on the rapidity of these top chamber rogues. If the impulses are rapid (usually in the neighborhood of 150 impulses a minute) survival once again depends on how many the gatekeeper allows through to the life-sustaining ventricles. In a hospital, if the doctors feel that the gatekeeper is letting too many impulses through (eg. if the heart is beating more than 150 times per minute) they may try to slow things down. One way is by massaging the neck which causes a reflex slowing in some lucky people. Another way is to give medicine which makes the holes in the electrical sponges smaller so they can’t soak up the electrolytes and saturate as fast. If all else fails, shock treatment is still an option. The shock hurts but patients are usually sedated and given a mild anaesthetic.

Extra beats As people get older, the millions of spongelike cells in the heart get aggravated or wear out. Sometimes they get overexcitable and fire on their own without waiting for the master pacemaker to cue them. This can happen in any of the chambers and it results in extra beats called extrasystoles. For many years doctors were very fearful of these extra beats because it was felt that they inevitably caused all the other cells to go crazy, leading to dangerous fib rillation. After all, it is well known that people don’t die from clogging of the arteries (heart attacks); they expire from sudden death cardiac arrhyth mias. Over the past few years doctors have learned that extra beats are more common than they thought. Huge numbers of “normal” asymptomatic volunteers had cardiac monitoring for 24 hours at a time. Scientists found that 60 percent of what they considered the normal (“thin”) population have a few extra beats every day. Most people don’t even realize these beats occur. They often feel like a tickle in the throat or chest. Unfortunately, some people are painfully aware of these skips and feel continued on page 49

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phat fashions by sandie sabo ▲ Hand painted cotton T-shirt empire dress w/patch pocket. $70. Size 1X-4X

Big on Batik!

The summertime blues... and all the other colors, for that matter! by Sandie Sabo, Dimensions Fashion Editor

Have you been singin’ the “‘fraid to put on a swimsuit blues?” Or... maybe the “oh, man... I'm sick of T-shirts and shorts in the summertime blues”? Well... get prepared to sing a new tune this summer!! Wonderful designers of clothing for big, beautiful women, are breaking all the outdated rules, and bringing you bright bold colors in soft and yummy fabrics to make your summertime sweet, fun, and most of all cool! A wonderful new clothing company to Dimensions Magazine, Big On Batik... and repeat swimsuit favorite By Ro! Designs, (with a whole new line of swimwear), are our summertime feature this issue. Big on Batik breaks the rules with light and breezy washable rayon batik prints in every color of the rainbow, with its hand-painted sarongwear in fun and fashionable designs for all sizes of large. And By Ro! Designs breaks the rules with beautiful white swimsuits, thong back suits, strapless suits, and a “teeny weeny” polka-dot bikini all for the plus and supersized lady.

▲ Hand painted cotton T-shirt empire dress w/patch pocket. $70. Size 1X-4X

▲ Gondora top/drape pant, 2piece set, $125, fits to size 26.

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▲ Floral vatik cocoon jacket, $62. Jackets fit to size 52 & beyond

▲ Cotton Panel dress $100, various colors, sized to 32

ig on Batik sarongwear’s Cathy Miller says she stumbled into this as a business by accident. Once a mild mannered librarian, Cathy had been making her own designs of handpainted rayon batik sarongs out of frustration that the beautiful designs she has seen in Hawaii and other tropical locales were only available in smaller sizes. Cathy loved the big, flowing fringed tops, cocoon jackets, and tube dresses available to smaller women as beach wear, cover-ups, and even evening wear. She realized the potential for selling her designs when women of all different sizes began accosting her at her librarian job, asking to try on the clothes off her back! Hence, the birth of Big on Batik. Cathy realized that she could make her designs with higher quality, and a lower price than most other companies. So, she began importing beautiful hand-painted, 100% cold-water washable rayon batik sarongs from Bali, Indonesia. She then crafts her special designs from those beautiful sarongs in her design shop in Carlsbad, California. Cathy takes pride in being able to offer art to wear in affordable and stylish fashions for big beautiful women. To her, making beautiful clothes for big women is a special form of activism that brings her satisfaction on a daily basis. She appreciates the fun business she has created, but more importantly that she is able to bring to BBWs a sense of worth as they purchase a delightfully vibrant new garment that in the past was only available to our thinner counterparts. Cathy certainly walks her talk where activism is concerned, and not just in her business. She has been pro-active in size acceptance issues for many years. In 1976, by chance, she came across Lewellyn Louderback’s Fat Power at the local library and never looked back. Being a long time feminist, Cathy says size acceptance wasn’t a stretch for her. She joined the Fat Feminist Caucus of NAAFA in 1989, and did much of the writing for their newsletter from 1992-94. She also has been a guest lecturer for the last couple of years at local campuses on body image. Big on Batik also stepped up to the plate by becoming a corporate sponsor of the Million Pound March to be held during the NAAFA convention, in Los Angeles, on August, 15th. As you can see, the colors of Cathy’s designs are truly lush, and the drape of the rayon fabric is wonderful for big women. Cathy’s original designs come in pastels and bold colors, in abstracts shapes, and the most popular florals. She started off with designing the basic top, the cocoon jacket, and the banded top (a cute little alteration to the basic top that gives you peek-aboo shoulders). Cathy then added to her line some delightful hand-painted t-shirt jersey dresses in over two dozen different designs. The T-shirt dresses come with designs of fruits and vegetables, animals, abstracts, and lots of outdoor scenes from oceans to a Southwest flavor.

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phat fashions by sandie sabo

▲ Left: fringed rayon batik banded top, $45 Right: fringed, rayon batik cocoon jacket, $52.

Also new to the Big on Batik line is the beautiful “Art Panel” tops and caftans. A decidedly dressier version of the batik rayon garments, the art panels come in several different artistic designs with embellishments added for color and flair. Also new is the very dramatic Oriental Red Raw Silk Opera Coat, with hand painted silk fish panel. Now there is a cover-up to make a statement! When all the sewing threatened to get out of hand, Cathy did not want to fall behind with her orders. But rather than hire seamstresses with no emotional investment, she decided a partnership was a better option. Hence her new partner, Cathy Berchiolli who brings sewing talent, enthusiasm, and commitment to the business as a special form of activism. Big on Batik’s sizing is generous and most of their garments go to at least a 4X in sizing. The tops and banded tops fit to at least a size 52 and are 90" around. The cocoon jackets fit to a size 52 and beyond, depending on body shape. The t-shirt jersey dresses and panel dresses are sized to a 4X or 32. The tube dress/ jacket ensemble fits up to a 10X. By the way, all Big on Batik prices shown in the photo captions include shipping. If you are at the 1998 NAAFA convention in LA, please stop by and introduce your self to Cathy and Cathy, and Big on Batik!

Big on Batik Sarongwear 2649 Vista Way #8207 Oceanside, CA 92054 760-434-3515 E-mail: Cathy@bigonbatik. com Web site: www.bigonbatik.com



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From left: Rayon Panel dress $100, various colors, sized to 32 • Rayon Batik banded top, $47. fits to size 52 • Hand painted cotton Tshirt empire dress w/patch pocket. $70. Size 1X-4X Matching vest $25. 1X-4X • Oriental Red Raw Silk Opera Coat with handpainted silk fish panel, $350, sizes up to 52

▲ Tube dress/Jacket ensembles fringed or unfringed. Size 1 fits to 4X. $88. Size 2 fits to lOX $100.

Big on Batik

www.bigonbatik.com • 760-434-3515 ▲

Rayon Batik banded top, $47, fits to size 52.

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ByRo! Designs

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ack after a hiatus, (read: soul searching), from her business, is old friend, Rosaria Vitale (although still young and beautiful), with a completely re-vamped By Ro! Designs. The designs of “lycra queen” Rosaria Vitale are a wonderful favorite of plus and supersize women, and a welcome back is in order.

▲ One piece tank "Star" suit with deep scoop back (full figured bust shaping), $88, with detachable skirt, $45.

Sweeping A line dress w/ contrasting design, button front plackets and short sleeves $159.

▲ One piece princess cut "Pirate" suit with handkerchief hem skirt, scoop back, and lace up front, $118.

▲ Teeny weenie polka-dot bikini, w/ tie front bandeau top $35, thong bottom $30, and short sarong cover-up $25. ▲ One piece strapless suit with ruffle skirt, $120.

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Rosaria took the hiatus after stretching herself and her business thin with her wholesale business. Along with doing a wholesale, she was trying to do custom orders for people, which created delay problems with shipments and just plain drained her energy. Ro saw the need to reorganize and prioritize. She decided to go to back to where her heart was originally, which was a delightful little mail order catalog with impeccable customer service. Rosaria, whose SBA loan was very recently approved, has her first catalog for the spring/summer 1999 season in development, and you can watch for it early in the new year. She will then be putting out a twice yearly catalog that will feature all of her lovely designs, as well as designs from a few other wonderful people, and some jewelry and accessories. In the meantime though, By Ro! Designs couldn’t let the summer season go by with out some new additions to its ever popular swimsuit line. Rosaria, known for her high quality swimsuits, has come up with some stunners for you big, beautiful, sunworshippers and bathing beauties. Even though as big women we have always been told not to wear white, Ro says DO IT ANYWAY! Her daring new suits can all be done in white, not to mention red, blue, the stars pattern, and the ever popular polka dot. She is also doing more two piece suits as per your requests. All the two piecers are mix and match with the tops and bottoms being interchangeable so you can get that custom fit for your body. She has a wonderful French cut bikini bottom, thong bottom, and two styles of full cut briefs, one with a bandeau cumberbund. The tops are a strapless tube top, a tank top with illusion mesh back and bandeau, a bikini style bandeau tie front top, and the popular princess cut, lace-up front. She also has three new one piece suits, a deep cut back tank suit with more bust shaping for larger breasted women, a racer back lace front tank, a strapless suit with flirty skirting. And, Ro still makes her popular Pirate suit, shown here on Ms. Beverly in a vibrant red. Ro also has added some delightful new coverups, such as the little detachable Stars skirt, shown here over the Stars tank suit. Another new cover up is the mesh palazzo pants and t-top which can take you from beach or pool to lunch in style! Other cover ups include a stylish kimono jacket ,and little mesh sarong to tie over your suit bottom. Sizing for Ro’s suits are from, OX (14/16), to 5X (34/36), with two suits, the racer back tank with lace up front, and pirate suit also in a 6X (38/40). You can or-

der your suit right out of this D i m e n s i o n s feature or order a packet of swatches and sketches for a $2.00 charge. And don't forget Ro still carries her line of active/workout wear, dresses, separates and catsuits. Ro is also offering a 15% discount to first time customers by mentioning Dimensions! Contact info... By Ro! Designs 567W 5th Street #1 SanPedro, CA 90731 (310) 221-0509 e-mail: byrodesig@aol. corn

▲ Two piece suit, full cut brief with cumberbund, $50 and lace front princess-cut top,

www. roadkill. com/~marshall/ro/

▲ Two piece suit, with straples tube top, $30, full cut brief bottom, $30. Cover up is two piece stretch mesh palazzo pants, $50, and ttop, $38.

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H

ave you ever had the experience of meeting someone for the first time, yet also had the feeling that you have known that person your entire life? An instant bonding takes place, friendships are cemented, and you begin to share almost everything. Life as you know it changes. Plans are made that include your new “old” friend. Dinners, lunches, shopping, chatting, sharing email, trying on each others clothes, attending fat events, laughing in amazement at the things you have in common, and knowing that you cannot be alike in every way. You get to know each other and begin to see that your lives are changed with the addition of these new friends.

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I’m Frannie (the shortest of the bunch) and this is how I felt when I met Cathy and Elizabeth last fall. One look at the three of us together and it’s easy enough to see what we share: our chubby thighs, double chins, and of course those mischievous smiles. What cements our friendship and made us want to do a photo layout for D i mensions, however, is a passion that runs much deeper than just a shared affinity for two-piece swimsuits. We each believe it is important to give something back to our fat community, and in doing so, to help spread a message of self-acceptance and self-pride to other fat people. Cathy and Elizabeth each head NAAFA activities for their states. For the past two years, Elizabeth has been writing the INSIDE column for Dimensions, and she also gives workshops on going to school as a fat student. Cathy, who knows how important looking good is toward feeling good about yourself, owns a clothing store in Houston, Texas that specializes in supersize and plus-size clothing. As the newest member of the group, I have found that just being openly fat, both in public and through my web page, gives me an opportunity to talk to other large women who have body image issues. Cathy, Elizabeth and I have all talked to women (of varying sizes) who wouldn’t dream of putting on any swimsuit, much less being photographed in one. And here we are, probably much bigger than they are, and we’re out there not only putting on swimsuits, but having fun doing it. After all, how could anyone look at us and not see that we’re having a blast?

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The day we had these photos taken we were at a NAAFA event, and sharing a beach in Texas with several other non-related groups. Instead of the taunts and sideways looks you might have expected us to get, we drew a crowd of admirers from other groups who came up and spent quite some time talking to me and Cathy. Before they left we had exchanged business cards. Of course we didn’t arrive at either selfacceptance or the decision to take these photos overnight. Even the day of the shoot Elizabeth was jokingly trying to back out. Perhaps that’s why she spilled not one but two full large cokes with ice in the floorboard of Cathy’s car before we had even been on the road for ten minutes. She swears it was an accident, and as you can see, we didn’t let her off quite so easily. Despite our similarities, there are differences. While Cathy and Elizabeth were both chubby from childhood, I was a thin child whose summers were spent with my grandparents in a small country town. Here, my ability to be me was set free. My grandmother felt that second helpings should be the norm and butter, gravy and fried foods were almost daily fare. In the simple lifestyle they led, food was love. When I returned home at the start of the school year, I dieted to lose those lovingly gained pounds so that I would not be ostracized by classmates. Elizabeth and Cathy each graduated high school at over 300 pounds, well on their way to being su-

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persize women, but I managed to diet myself enough to maintain what I was certain was a “fat,” out-ofshape 137 pounds on my graduation day. In my early twenties, I met what I thought to be the most wonderful man in the world. I compromised myself in many ways to be with him. When I realized that I was giving him power over me, I broke off our engagement. He responded with all the love he had in his heart and assaulted me physically. After his assault I retreated into an intentional weight gain designed to steel myself from being hurt again. I withdrew from society, from friends, from life. To my surprise, I found that even though I was getting fatter, my friends didn’t love me any less, they still supported me emotionally and they pushed me to stay socially active. Yes, in the past few years, I have altered my manner of thought. My size is no longer a shield between me and the rest of the world; I believe I am destined to be fat. As testimony to that destiny, I have a maternal great aunt who was buried in a piano case because an ordinary coffin would not hold her. Both my mother and my maternal grandmother were women of

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size. The great majority of Cathy and Elizabeth’s relatives are large as well. My journey to becoming more like Elizabeth and Cathy—a proud, intelligent, sexy woman who just happened to be fat, was not without its share of bumps and bruises along the way. Recently, Elizabeth was shocked to hear that in the not-so-distant past, I couldn’t even be persuaded to eat in a restaurant. I allowed the comments of others to stifle my pleasure of food and friends. Today, I enjoy going out to dinner, lunch, or both with Elizabeth, Cathy and others. Our combined weight of 1425 pounds ensures that we are not ignored, and our positive, self-confident attitudes generally rebuff any negative glances we may receive. As fat women in professional jobs, we all make our presence known daily and ask for what we need in order to be comfortable. I requested and received appropriate armless chairs to hold my 84” hips, not only in my office, but also in the Board and Conference rooms where I often make presentations on our systems software capabilities. Elizabeth also has appropriate seating for her large frame as she creates and designs computer programs. I speak with pride about my fat acceptance beliefs and activities and all my coworkers have been supportive. Elizabeth and I will bring Tshirts to our offices for our friends to sign as supporters of fat acceptance. Cathy has her T-shirt on display at Anni’s Plus, her plus and superplus fashion boutique, for customers to sign. We will proudly wear our autographed shirts to the Million Pound March in Los Angeles this August. We hope you’ll join us there! One night recently, after exercise class and after feasting on a wonderful meal (thank you Sweetheart), Elizabeth, our friend Melissa, my boyfriend and I looked at pictures of me from childhood through the college years. I was such a different person and not just in appearance. What a wonderful and enlightening transition it has been! I am grateful to be at this stage in my life, with such wonderful fat friends! Life is good when you accept and love yourself. Just look at our glowing faces in the pictures for proof, and know that being large isn’t all we are, but it has helped to shape us in a lot of ways. Just blending in isn’t an option for us. It makes us stand up for ourselves, and also makes us more compassionate to other people with differences because we understand what they go through in life. We are not victims. We are just people who happen to be fat. If you would like to contact us, email us at F a t T r i o @ a o l . c o m or stop by our web page at http://members.aol.com/FatTrio.

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Life is is good good when when you you accept accept and and love love yourself... yourself. ” “Life

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Linda out of the closet “As told to the Observer”

That I today, as an adult, am healthy, heavy and happy should be no surprise— both my mother and two older sisters are happily married and they all weigh well over 200 pounds. Despite this family ten dency, however, in my younger days I tried to pay the price of being slender until I reached college. This story begins with the reason why I struggled to conform to dictates that I now know my genes were never designed for. The tale then relates the remarkable set of circumstances which ultimately, nearly a quarter century ago now, enabled me to be free. It concludes with what I hope will be a message of liberation for others in simi lar circumstances. t was the end of the summer between my freshman and college years. For the first time in ten weeks I tried putting on the slacks which had already begun to feel snug at the end of the prior semester. Tug as I would at the top of the garment, the button and its matching hole refused to come together. I smiled in triumph. I had allowed myself to clear the first hurdle—gaining an estimated fifteen pounds that summer while overseeing my sister’s three little ones. But still the childhood lectures of my aunt echoed in my ears—and I hoped I could shake them. I had been sent to live with my Aunt in the summer of 1958 when my Father went on assignment overseas. The goal was to enable me to stay in school instead of having to face education in a third world country. But my parents had no idea of the full education my aunt had in mind. My aunt had once been heavy as are my mother and sisters. But she was always a spinster—which she silently believed was due to her weight. So she lost the pounds with much effort—and still the men did not flock around. So then she thought it was because no one looks at you after you pass a certain age. She probably didn’t mean it to, but her attitude on such matters rubbed off on my impressionable six year old brain. Otherwise she was kind and was always doing

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interesting things to keep me occupied. Others envied all the places we went and the things we did. I was the daughter she wished she could have. And so I became used to going along with her dietary stinginess—even though privately I sometimes dreamed of being able to eat like other kids. By Junior High. and into High School, her injunctions had become the scripts of my life. I knew that I might gain weight easily—my aunt had told me it ran in the family. My life become centered around books and non-food related activities. I avoided socials and dating men simply so I would not be tempted to ingest excess calories. The word was that I was a loner and bookworm who “wasn’t like” most students. Even with all this I was never skinny—but held fast at around 140 on a 5’ 6” frame. And so I was able to focus on going to college and having a career—something my chunkier sisters and mothers had never had. This was my aunt’s dream—and one into which, partially at least, I had bought into and accepted as what I had to do to be a “worthwhile” person. And with this attitude I graduated from high school. I had just under a 4.0 average and was accepted into college on a scholarship. My family, the entire rotund group, was pleased. They understood and were supportive of my goal of being the one who would actually obtain a “higher education.” After all, I had never tried to make them walk the road that I had chosen and my slenderness did not offend them. There were six of us in the dorm that first year. The two upperclassmen, Carol and Susan, were somewhat heavier than the average but not concerned about it. The two sophomores, Evelyn and Tammy, were the type of free spirits who could eat anything and not gain an ounce. And Melodie, the other freshman, was one who never met a dessert she didn’t enjoy. I sensed early on that this group was potentially dangerous. Especially when they decided that Thursday would be “ladies night out” at the local smorgasbord. So for the entire first semester I continued my

defensive attitude of being “too busy” with studies to participate. Not that I was totally unfriendly. When food was not the issue and no snacks were around I let my guard down and talked with the others about many things. They knew my greatest fear was becoming heavy and accepted it gracefully since I was not trying to impose my desires on them. And so it might have gone if it were not for Dave Miller. Dave was one of perhaps a dozen men who would occasionally come over and hang around, usually contributing a few groceries which the others would cook. He was one of the few people on campus who was as well traveled and read as myself and therefore did not seem boring like most men. I always enjoyed his visits— but dreaded the thought that I might have to refuse an invitation from him if it were ever extended. But he never did—almost as if (which I later learned was the case) he had been told that I didn’t date and there was no point in asking. In the second semester of my Freshman year it happened—Dave and I wound up in the same class. Not only that, we were teamed together with four others in a combined research project where we had to work together. Because of his class status as a sophomore (the rest of us were freshmen) as well as because of his reputation as a writer for the campus paper Dave quickly emerged as the leader. I wound up being designated as vice-coordinator. And so now we had to see each other regularly. But he never offered me so much as a soft drink— only endless questions for me to reply to and his own ideas for me to comment on. Gradually I began to relax. This man, I thought, is more of an intellectual nerd than I—he doesn’t have a social bone in his body. Our conversations, while focused on the survey we were supposed to be doing, ranged more and more into other areas. I began helping him with comments on his columns—even contributing ideas on occasion. And then, one evening, he ca-

sually mentioned that he had been invited out of town to interview a college trustee who was making a major contribution. He really wanted to have someone else along and thought that I would be the perfect choice. We would leave after lunch, he assured me, and be back in plenty of time for us to have our normal dinners. It was the first time in my life I had ever let a man get close enough to me to ask for a date. And it was a non-food situation. I knew about the subject of the interview, had a few questions of my own, and simply couldn’t resist. But the next three evenings were torture, for part of me wanted this to be the beginning of something while another warned me that it could be the end of the walls I had so long maintained. But I went through with it, even taking a camera for pictures. The only problem was that the interview wound up taking up the better part of the afternoon and it was a two hour drive back. I had been too nervous to have lunch and was getting hungry. About half way on the return trip my stomach began growling. The first time Dave ignored it. The next he bit the bottom of his tongue, looked up at the roof of the car, and then took a deep breath. “Linda,” he said, “Do you consider me to be a gentleman?” “I wouldn’t be here if I thought otherwise,” I replied. “What happens if a gentleman is faced with two options, either one of which goes against his training of being a gentlemen. Which option should he take?” It was a typical Dave Miller question— designed to make the respondent go, seemingly of their own will, where he wanted. I knew the game and played coy. “The gentlemen would have to lay aside his training and take the option he felt was most appropriate.” “O. K.,” he smiled. “In three months of working together I have never once so much as offered you a single bite of anything because I like you as a person and wanted to be your friend. So if that meant respecting your preferences I have done so. That’s what a gentleman does. “But at the same time it is also part of being a gentleman to make sure that people who are showing signs of hunger don't stay that way. Therefore, as a gentleman doing what is most appropriate, I feel duty bound to tell you that about ten miles ahead is a very nice restaurant with reasonable portions and a beautiful view of a river.

“With anyone else I would have suggested going there an hour ago—and now, with my Adam’s apple in my mouth and great fear in my heart I make the offer to you. I sincerely promise not to tell anyone if you say “yes” and never ask again if you say “no.” Although I had half expected what was coming I was surprised at the ease with which I said “yes.” He was a friend I wanted to keep, I knew I could order whatever I wanted, was hungry anyway, and he was letting me be in control. It was a fine rustic building, probably eighty years or more old, with a fine menu and excellent service. It was the first time I had ever been in such a place. We had to wait for fifteen minutes to be seated and Dave began educating me as to the customs of such places—I didn’t know, for instance, that use of the salad bar preceded the main course. Or that you could take home leftovers in a doggie bag. After perusing the menu I decided to let Dave order for me. He advised me to go easy on the salad bar to leave room for the main course. He ordered the petite portion of the filet mignon for both of us, along with potatoes and vegetables. That done, he tried to talk about things other than food, but I was going through too much trauma to talk about much else. “You must wonder why this is so scary for me,” I said to him. “Reports are that you think you might gain weight easily unless you lock the refrigerator of your mind,” he replied. “If that is your choice, I as a gentlemen must respect it.” I told him about my aunt and the way that I recognized her teaching made me different from other co-eds. “I understand,” he said, “Its called infantile scripting. We pick up certain concepts and ideas as children and, unless we consciously elect to change them, they govern our lives for decades to come.” “Is that bad?” “Depends on the effects of the script. That is something everyone must decide for themselves.” “You don’t agree?” “I see a lot of successful women who allow themselves to date ---the two are not incompatible. And the two heaviest girls in your dorm are close to being engaged, so that’s not a barrier for everyone. But the Bible has a statement somewhere about things which are not done of faith, even if lawful of themselves, being sin for those who do them.” “So you think I should let down the barriers more?”

“Why do you ask that question,” he said with more than a degree of concern. “I detect that you’ve known of my decisions for some time and have respected them—but if you had your way you might have invited me to a place like this long ago.” “We have worked well together to this point, wouldn’t you say? .... as to whether I would risk letting it become more involved, let me ask you how much I would be jeopardizing what we already have?” “Meaning?” “That I would prefer to respect your Aunt’s scripts and preserve a friendship than to attempt to change them against your will.” “Sometimes it does get boring having to be so strict. What would you do if I let the barriers down and as a result gained twenty pounds?” “Probably still tell you how nice you look. A gentleman does not tinker with a ladies preferences, and our relationship doesn’t depend on your dress size. What might also happen, though, is that you might learn about areas that right now you are closed off from.” “Such as?” “Take your Thursday ladies’ nights. You think all they do is pig out? Of course not! They have discussions and learn things and mature in ways you can never get from books!” “Do you go out to restaurants regularly?” “Once or twice a week. Usually with another couple or two.” “Are they all as nice as this one?” “This is a middle of the road steak house which happens to have a good view. There are all kinds of other places —it would take six months to go through the list at the rate of one a week.” I was being led down a garden path and enjoying every minute of it. Then I spontaneously said something scary. “If I were to tell you I needed to be educated in such matters how often would you invite me?” “A minimum of once a month—probably more often if you would let me. But right now you are being swept up in the enjoyment of a new experience. Your scripts may kick back on you if you make a commitment now—and I really don’t want to lose the friendship we have. For now, why don’t I hold the first Saturday evening of next month open. Then you let me know on Monday whether you want to go through with it? Dave was right. After I got home that evening part of me was on cloud nine as I sensed he cared about me more than he (continued on page 46)

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Living Dimensions

It was a long and bumpy ride for this sexy southern gal, but now she’s found herself

i there! My name is JamiMarie, and while fairly new to coming out to the FA/BBW-admirer community I am eager to be seen and to get started. I am 5’4” and a whopping 300 lbs. I just figured it, that is 4.6875 lbs per inch in height, or 56.25 per foot. I surprised myself with some measurements: Upper arms 19 inches; upper thighs 34" each, calves 21"; waist 54"; bust 45" (D cup); and last, but not least, hips 61". I am happy that I have finally reached a point in my life where I can say, type, and read those numbers without any reservation, and with much pride and con-

H

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tentment. I was always a chubby girl, at least for as long as I can remember. I was always assured by my parents that my extra rolls were baby fat and would be gone as I developed and became a teen. I remember at around age 14 weighing about 160 and wearing size 13/14s, feeling so left out, not being able to dress as my friends dressed, and wanting so much to be thin. I would lose 25 pounds, and gain 40. I always had my share of boyfriends, but even back then I remember thinking they were interested in me in spite of my size. My freshman year of college I was

a size 16 and weighed near 200, but that summer I lost down to 145 and could even squeeze into size 9 jeans. In my sophomore year I met my future husband, and gradually put some of the weight back on over the year. When we married nine months later my wedding dress was a size 14. Three months later I became pregnant, and rapidly put on 50-60 lbs during the pregnancy. My doctor was so cold and insensitive, I would always cry all the way home from my visits. (Boy, was I young and naive, just let some doctor treat me that way now!) He said I was lazy and that my husband couldn’t possibly want me, that

any problems I had delivering my baby would be my own fault. He actually went from delivering my baby to the waiting room to lecture my parents on making me loose weight. Talk about humiliation! I spent a lot of time observing other people losing and gaining, losing and gaining, and decided I didn’t want to be a part of that. When someone showed me something that really worked, then I would lose the weight. My husband—somewhat chubby himself—didn’t seem at the time to make a big issue of it. My subsequent two pregnancies were much happier and healthier, and the weight gain, once I quit starving myself, was kept to a minimum. I have three beautiful healthy children, all of whom were delivered naturally and without any complications, and I am the picture of health myself. My husband got on a health craze (he always did have a one track mind!) and became obsessed with exercise and what he ate. That was all well and fine, until he eventually became obsessed with pushing his new-found lifestyle onto me. But he was so shallow about his desires that he just couldn’t motivate me. I simply wasn’t interested. He became preoccupied with thin women, flirting openly and flaunting his preference for them over me. Eventually this lead to my coming out of my shell and going out again with friends and finding a life of my own. Was I surprised to find out that men were still attracted to me! But, as I said earlier, I still felt that this was in spite of my size, not because of it. My husband and I eventually parted, which was a sad thing, but the whole experience turned out to have been great for me and my self-esteem. I had a lot of growing to do, emotionally and even some physical-

ly (I have put on a few pounds since discarding him!) and it has been quiet a journey. The last year has been particularly interesting. I met a FA who has changed my life completely. Early into our dating relationship he pulled out his pile of Dimensions magazines, and I was just like, WOW!!!!! Since then I have learned a lot about myself, about people, and about the fat acceptance movement. I have became involved in the BBW-Texas group and found a great gang of people to hang out with and to grow with. I have several very close BBW

friends who have sort of experienced this whole coming out with me, and we are having a great time. I now love to pose for Jeff, and when I pull those pictures out of the envelope and see them for the first time, I am proud of who I see as I excitedly say, “God, I am so FAT!” I want to be seen and be known, and I want people—not just FAs— to see a girl that is beautiful inside and out, and by that I don’t mean just a pretty face. I want to be an inspiration and a role model for all the bigger girls who hide behind baggy clothes. I want women of all sizes to know they are beautiful and they

can dress as they choose, and go where they choose, and dance, and be happy. I want them to know that there are men (and women) who love them as they are, every inch, every curve and crevice. It’s so exciting to know it and to feel it and to be a part of it. I will always be grateful to Jeff for opening this world up to me, and I know he will always get a thrill every time he sees me in some little outfit, rolls hanging out, all for his admiration (well, maybe not only his), but the great part is, he loves sharing that part of me, and its a good thing, because I do, too! ❧

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CLIPPINGS assembled by Jan Herrick of Vendredi Enterprises ■

DECADENT LIFESTYLE?

Walter Scott’s “Personality Parade” column reported that former King Farouk of Egypt died of a heart attack in 1965 at age 45 “while stuffing himself in a restaurant in Rome” and that no monuments have been erected to him in Egypt “because of his decadent lifestyle....”



IF THE GIRDLE DON’T FIT...

Also in Egypt, an Alexandria court turned down a woman’s request for alimony because “she hadn’t kept herself thin enough to please her husband, thereby driving him into the arms of his secretary.”



DEADLY SPEED

The National Examiner reveals that Christopher Anderson’s new book Jackie After Jack claims that Jackie Kennedy Onassis may well have caused her own early death from cancer. He says that Jackie took “speedlike” drugs for years to pep her up and keep her weight down. These drugs allegedly compromise the immune system, leaving the body open to dangerous diseases.



JUNKFOOD OF THE MONTH

A new International Junk-Food-of-theMonth Club has been started by Matthew and Eric Labur featuring interesting snacks such as a Japanese snack chip that looks like Cheetos but tastes like pancakes with maple syrup. Membership starts at $25.50 with a two-month minimum. Call (888) 762-2584 to sign up.



DITZ OF THE MONTH

A size 4 reader of The National Enquirer complained that stores and catalogs are “alienating” her “by stocking clothes only in sizes 8 and larger.” We large ladies are glad to hear that more and more catalogs are carrying more and bigger sizes; however, many continue to use Kate Moss lookalikes to model clothes in sizes 14+.







BIG HEROINE

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DYING FOR THAT LOOK

Hollywood celebrities and others, bowing to society’s insane insistence on perfect faces and bodies are paying out big bucks to have Botox (a diluted form of lethal botulism) injected into their bodies! Botox removes wrinkles by paralyzing the muscles used to frown, squint, and raise eyebrows. One Ohio dermatologist who refuses to use Botox is quoted as saying, “We are talking about paralyzing things for a look. That concerns me.” Talk about the understatement of the year!



THE REAL THING WINS

Coke Classic and Pepsi Cola are the most popular soft drinks, with Diet Coke coming in a fairly distant third, according to Beverage Digest.



DIE HEALTHY

Hollywood actor J.T. Walsh died of a heart attack while involved with a new-age health program which stresses exercise plus a diet of fresh wheatgrass juice, sprouts, and seed sauces.” He was just 54.

NOT NUTS

The “Eat Smart” column by Jean Carper reports that peanuts may help prevent heart disease. A study of 40,000+ women in Iowa reported that those who ate nuts five times a week (mostly peanuts) had only half as much heart disease as the non-nut eaters, apparently because peanuts contain artery-protective chemicals. The red skins of peanuts, and to a smaller degree the nut itself also contain other antioxidants found in grape seeds and skins. Such antioxidants are thought to help strengthen blood vessel walls and retard the formation of arterial plaque.

■ Big heroine Blanca Guzman recently risked her life by rushing into a burning threestorey building and pulling to safety four kids trapped inside while a whole crowd of people outside stood around doing nothing!

THE SCOOP ON DELTA

Delta Burke’s new book Delta Style: Eve Wasn't a Size 6 and Neither Am I, reveals she comes from a large-size family. “There is not a female member of our family under size 12.” While starring inDesigning Women she says she “had to stand in the grocery store checkout line next to tabloid headlines that screamed I was devouring whole boxes of candy and chasing people around on the set to get their candy.” While getting her big acting break as the lead in the pilot for the TV series Charleston, she says her happiest moment at that time in her life was “fitting into a belt worn by Audrey Hepburn.” Although obviously genetically predisposed to being large, she won several beauty titles while in her teens by starving herself, taking diuretics and even dangerous diet pills called black beauties, which once caused her to pass out and fall down a flight of stairs, and crystal meth which made her paranoid. But, she now says that, with the help of psychotherapy and antidepressants, she has finally managed to conquer her weight-induced depression, and, for the first time in her life she “finally has the nerve to feel comfortable with my body.”

YO-YO GAL KIRSTIE

Kirstie Alley, harassed from all sides to lose weight, pulled a muscle in her back during weight lifting exercise, forcing the temporary shutdown of her showVeronica's Closet.Although she and her fiance James Wilder both claim to be happy with her as a big woman, she’s fallen into the old “got to be thin for my wedding” syndrome and she says she’s going to lose 30 pounds before her April nuptials or she’s not going to the wedding.

EHH?

A Canadian reader wrote to the S t a r, “This is the 90s, when the anorexic look is disgusting and big and healthy-looking is finally in.” Oh, really? I don’t think many of us “big and healthy-looking” people would agree that we are now accepted by society as being “in”!



OH REALLY?

Opera tenor Luciano Pavarotti is said to be getting so fat that he needs special limousines—built higher off the ground and featuring double doors—to get around town.



BROOKE AND HER CALVINS

The Globe reports that something has finally come between Brooke Shields and her Calvin Klein jeans: her own thighs. Asked if she still owns any of the pants she wore at 15 in those sexy ads, the 32-yearold star sheepishly admitted, “If I could get them past my calves, I’d be lucky!” ❧ CLIPPINGS are assembled bits of information found by me or sent to me by readers. If you find anything (health, media, gossip, social, etc.) in your local paper or favorite tabloid which you think should be shared with others, send it to:

Vendredi Enterprises PO. Box 10 Garden Valley, CA 95633

Florida’s First and Finest Singles Dance (continued from page 10) continental relationship leading to everlasting love. All replies answered. Photo appreciated. - 26939 ❤ FL—Compassionate, pretty, old-fashioned SWF,30, 5'10", size 22/24, auburn/green. Searching for tall, handsome, fit, kind,SW/H male, NS. I believe in romance and chivalry. Letter with photo OK. - 26866 ❤ F L—DWF, 44, 5'2", a voluptuous size 24. Blonde hair, green eyes. Tired of games! I love movies, music, romance, flowers, family, getaways, home and much more. ISO LTR with secure, stable, sincere, honorable, S/DWM, N/S, 40-55, with similar interests.OK Letters/Photos, all answered! - 26892 ❤ F L—Fun-loving, lonely Orlando male, 39, prefers tigress, kinky, big, busty, any race, over 36 years, Christian BBW for marriage, too. Photo, phone, and note. - 26964 ❤ F L—Voluptuous SWF, 28, 300 lbs., proportioned, green eyes, brown hair, living in Northwest Florida, seeks attractive, secure SWM, 30-50, for fun and friendship. Letters and photos appreciated. I will respond. - 26804 ❤ G A—Free to good home: African-American male, 41, 6', 170 lbs., astute, fun loving, sensual, and well educated. Seeks same in SWF, 25-45, for possible relationship. Already housebroken and well trained. Photo appreciated. 26976 ❤ G A—ATTENTION WF BUSINESS WOMEN/ VACATIONERS who frequent Atlanta: This large-lady-loving African-American male, 41, 6', 170 lbs, would love to be your companion/escort/tour guide. Letter and photo appreciated. - 26947 ❤ Germany—A German man, 38, 6', 190 lbs, looking for a very fat woman, minimum 600 lbs. and 100 inch hips or more, 5'5" to 6'4". Financially secure and willing to relocate for you. Not only to USA but anywhere. My english is not so good. - 26929 ❤

For full-figured people and those who admire us... ...Let our sun shine down on you Two great dances every month in Ft. Lauderdale Two Disc Jockeys Door Prizes Give-Aways

AND ALL THE FUN YOU CAN HANDLE For more info: 954-832-2501 [23 marriages, 11 engagements, ?? couples living together, 2 children] I L—Always smiling SWF, 30, 5'6", shapely size 26/28, brown hair, hazel/brown eyes, N/S, college-educated. I'm really silly, kinda witty, very goofy, and sorta cute! I like walking, reading, board games, movies, and good conversation, but most of all, I love to laugh. ISO SWM, 3040, N/D, tall, Catholic, witty, caring, honest, and nice. Someone to laugh with me and occasionally at me. If interested, please send letter that will make me laugh and photo that will make me smile. Prefer Chicago suburbs area. - 26808 ❤ I L—BM, 6'1", 190 lbs., 43, ISO luscious, lusty, buxom, full-figured, sassy BBW, 190-260 lbs., who likes movies, smooth jazz, eating out, baby oil massages, sports, cuddling, someone adventuresome, sensual, and uninhibited. NS/ND, no STDs, race no barrier. Letter with photos appreciated. - 26812 ❤ I L—Romantic, sensitive, sincere, professional DWM, 49,5'7" muscular build. Financially and emotionally secure. I love long walks and talks, sunset at the beach, a cozy fireplace and get-away weekends. I long for love and romance founded on true friendship. I'm searching for a truly attractive, intelligent, sensuous woman. An honest woman with a warm smile and a gentle touch. I'm searching for a woman who I can hold close, look into her eyes and feel her soul. A woman to share with in the Adventure of life. Letter, photo, phone OK - 26872 ❤ I N—SWCF, 41, never married, size 18, good person looking for SM of good character wishing to settle down in the country in Southern Indiana and have a family. - 26972 ❤ K Y—Louisville - A VERY PRETTY UNIQUE SWF IS SEEKING AN ADVENTUROUS MAN OF INTEGRITY FOR MORE THAN A FLING, LESS THAN A RING. I'm 26, 5'2", 315 pearshaped pounds (very size confident), brown hair/eyes and a single mother. Very diversified interests. Love music (classical to country), nature (camping to thunderstorms) and life in general. I'm looking for a non-smoking, S/D WM, 25-34, who's honest, self-confident, fun to be with and very intelligent. No feeders. Letters OK. - 26932 ❤ K Y—SWF, 29 years old, 6'1" tall, about 350lbs. ISO a tall SWM or DWM, 29-45 years old, tall. Any geographic region. I have many interests, including traveling, concerts, movies and cooking. All replies answered. - 26890 ❤

L A—Calling all BBWs of any race, ages 1845, and 250 lbs+. If you desire a guy who would submit, appreciate, love, and adore your morethan-perfect body, then I'm the guy for you. I'm a 21 year old SBM, 175 lbs. of pure muscle. If you're looking for those characteristics stated above, then don't pass me by. If you are geared, then I am too, so let's talk. Please write and send a photo. - 26959 ❤ M A—DWM, 10-04-59, 6'3", 230, NS-ND, brown hair/eyes, non-prejudiced, non-judgmental, lovable, huggable, cuddable, snuggable, kissable, loves music, romantic comedies, drives, kids, animals, family, friends. Seeks large, luscious female 26-52. Luv-yaalways. - 26951 ❤ M A—Ph.D. scientist, devout atheist, avid aerobiscist, submediocre guitarist. SWJM, 42, left/liberal, loves ethnic restaurants, bookstores, NYC (hopes someday to move back), seeks similarly-minded sometimes-silly scientifically-inclined soulmate. - 26832 ❤ M A—SWM, 32, cute, good looking, shy, thoughtful, affectionate,energetic. Enjoys healthy lifestyle, youthful optimism, honesty, kindness, mouthwatering kisses, passionate sex. Very inexperienced. Desires love. Seeks smart, pretty, undersexed, big-bottomed girl. Sweet and innocent yet uninhibited. I like music (Jazz, Brazilian), football, movies, travel, dining out, being together. Hopeful of love and someone to share life with. - 26933 ❤ M D—SWM, 26, 5'10", 140 lbs, NS, handsome, filmmaker, musician, fluent in French, traveller, faithful, good listener, giving, great sense of humour, very sensual. ISO BBW, 21-28, who loves the simple things in life, self-confident. Let me worship your body and mind. Writing is ok, photo please. Keep smiling, You're all beautiful. - 26924 ❤ M I—DWF, 33, 5'6", 300 lbs., brown/brown, very pretty. I like slow dancing, swimming, weekend getaways, playing scrabble, most sports, spending time with friends and family. Looking for a S/D WM, N/S, between 33 and 45, who is interested in dating and being friends—we'll see where things go from there. - 26962 ❤ M I—SWF, 39, 240 lbs., 5'7", traditional woman, likes classical music, opera, chocolates, wine, dining, and foreign languages. Seeks SWM, 35-50, who's affluent and will pamper and spoil me. Letters preferred, no married men. - 26755 ❤ M N—Rubens of Titian model - healthy caucasian female, 245 lbs medium height, large bust, hips, thighs, early 50's. professionally employed. I love small animals and taller, solid men who enjoy substantial women. I seek music, warm affection, laughter and romance, N/S, N/D, No Drugs. - 26041 ❤

(cont. on page 56)

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Dimensions Modeling Candidate Finalists Victorian Lace

44

Amber

Andrea

Cleacia

CrzySxyCin

Jennifer

Sherry

Linda

Purrfect

Selena

August 1998

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Anna? No, it’s Jennifer! I am a 32 year old woman who lives in Atlanta, GA. I work for a software company as a manager. I have always been a BBW... always the largest kid in my class growing up. It wasn’t until recently that I was able to look back at those photos of myself in high school and see myself not as fat, but as quite beautiful. But at that time, I didn't see that but the girl with the very womanly figure that was viewed as “fat” by my peers. Over the years I have put on weight, as almost every woman in the world has. I am finally comfortable with my size and weight thanks to magazines such as Dimensions and their web boards, the internet, and new mainstream publications. It's great to see other women proud of their figures. I think that helps me be who I really am and not to feel inadequate because of society’s standards. I’ve opened my eyes and seen many people of all sorts of shapes and sizes. — Jennifer

GOPartand itehsefmenor BigwhoBeautadmiifurleWomen them DD 3 ES SE S For Info call: Now at

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August 1998

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(continued from page 39) was letting on—meanwhile the old scripts were hitting me again and again. But on Monday I told him I would see him Saturday night. And then I starved myself for the rest of the week. He took me to the Top Floor—located appropriately on the top of a local skyscraper. The view was spectacular, the food excellent, and there was even a band playing music—unfortunately I didn’t then know enough about dancing to get onto the floor. But I was beginning to see what I had been missing. As we drove home I told Dave I was going to try to relax my eating habits and see how I felt with a few more pounds—but that based on my family history I might become a bit of a porker. He simply chuckled and said, “that, my dear lady, is your decision. I have a hunch you will be quite happy with what really happens.” The next morning I began eating breakfast regularly—something I had always envied others for. That Thursday I went out with the girls, and we had a good time. The only change I noticed was that I seemed to have more energy and didn’t tire so easily. After a month the scale had not budged— even though I knew I was eating on the average 500-600 calories a day more. “This is ridiculous,” I said. “I wanted to gain some weight to see what it was like. How much effort does it take?” I began allowing myself desserts at night and snacks during the day. Added to the bi-weekly dinners and the Thursday night smoergas-boards something was bound to happen I knew. An sure enough, by the second month I had gained two pounds. By the end of the semester a month later a total of five. Progress, but hardly blimping out as I had feared! It was at that point that my sister offered me the summer job of cooking and caring for her family so she could take a special work assignment. I knew these people were hearty eaters and confided in her that I would take the job on one condition—no kidding if I turned into an eating machine. She was a bit taken aback, for my fanaticism in the opposite direction was well known. But she accepted my condition and I began eating in a manner which was, for me, revolutionary. Without going into bite by bite details I gained fifteen pounds in ten weeks—which is how I came to outgrow my slacks. “Now,” I thought, “we will see what Dave and the girls think!” Dave, true to his word, told me I looked lovely and celebrated by taking us back to

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the steakhouse on the river. By this time my appetite had improved to the point that I didn’t have to skimp on the salad bar or use a doggie bag. I even had room for mud pie for dessert. My late Aunt would have croaked to see me enjoying life! The dormitory was another thing. Sociable Melody was still there, having picked up about twenty pounds and a boyfriend who liked the change, as were the two sophomores (now juniors) who could seemingly eat anything. But joining us were two unusual individuals—each with a weight agenda of their own. Marilyn Forbes was 230 lbs and proud of every ounce. She had had a friend who died from anorexia four years before and, as a result, had become an activist, gaining eighty pounds in the intervening period with an announced goal of 280. Jane Neilson was short, plump, and an excellent cook looking for a man more than a diploma. With this group it was a simple matter for me to gain another twenty pounds my sophomore year ---- and another fifteen that summer. This brought me within five pounds of 200 by my Junior year, and Dave (now a Senior) was appreciative of every ounce. In late October I passed the 200 mark and he decided it was time to come clean. Up till now he had always said it was “up to me” what I weighed and left the slate blank as to his true feelings. But for Thanksgiving he invited me to travel with him to meet his family. The weekend before we were to go meet the family he invited me out again to the restaurant by the river where it had all begun. My radar detected that something was up. “How much do you really know about me?” he asked. “I know you are a wonderful person with some sort of family business and a wide range of interests,” I said, “Why?” “Because this evening you are going to find out several things about me you have never known—if any of it bothers you I hope you will give me a chance to explain and not be scared. OK?” “What are you talking about?” “You are right about the family business—but the whole truth is that it is several businesses with a fair number of employees. I have been effectively running the operation for five years using long term employees while I get an education. The family members you will meet next Thursday are not poor, but their wealth is largely tied up in the company. So they may seem inordinately concerned about who I am bringing to dinner.”

“Thanks for telling me now,” I said nervously. “I hope they like fat girls.” “You will find that to be the least of your worries, believe me!,” he replied. “I just hope that you don’t get upset if some of them ask too many questions. Frankly, I am more concerned about your reaction to them than theirs to you.” “What do you mean?” “I think it was the Great Gatsby or someone like that who said, ‘the rich are not like other people.’ Its not really true, but they do have other concerns. And sometimes those who have not “to the manor been born” have a hard time understanding the perspective of those who are.” “What do you mean?” “Think about the articles you have seen me write—the projects we have worked on together. Do you see a theme?” “A lot of Horatio Alger success stuff—is that what you mean?” “Yes, just as you have by your efforts gone beyond where you began because your Aunt gave you the motivation to do it. Your grades have been right up their with the best and you know you can do anything you want. Many people think they can’t do things and so they never try.” “What does that have to do with being to the manor born?” “People of wealth are no different than those who are not—some feel guilty because they know they inherited most of it and don’t have a clue as to how to do it themselves so they spend all their time being defensive. “Others know exactly what they are doing and surround themselves with others of the same view. That is why we have worked so well together these past two years. We actually are very much alike in that regard.” “And your relatives?” “Some are achievers, others are holders. The first will want to know how much and what you want to do, the others will be evaluating whether or not you will disrupt their little worlds.” “And where do you fit?” “Hopefully as an achiever—so far profits are up and we’ve been able to share the results with the employees (by bonuses), the community (with grants), the stockholders (with better dividends), and our customers (by researching things that they will enjoy). “All the while the boss goes off to school so that he can do things even more effectively. I know that after graduation my perspective is going to be in need of an ongoing reality check. Which is why I wanted to talk to you tonight. I have something

very special to ask.” “Which is?” “I do not want to go down for a family thanksgiving celebration, knowing that those there will be speculating on whether or not I am considering you as a partner for life without having first discussed it with you. I hopefully have treated you sufficiently well that you will not be surprised at what I am about to say next ---” He removed his glasses, his eyes were glistening, and he spoke with as much tenderness and emotion as he could muster in public, “I love you Linda, and would like to be able to announce to anyone who cares to speculate about our future that we have already decided the matter.” And with that he handed me a small box with a gorgeous ring. “You needn’t give me an answer now, “ he said, “but I would be honored if next week you would come to Thanksgiving dinner with a view to giving me a reply after you have seen what the Miller empire is all about.” I was speechless, as you might imagine. I had indeed been wishing that he would be more personal—but had no idea how far ahead he had been planning. Without saying another word he gently took me over to the dance floor where a quartet was playing. Over the previous two years I had learned to dance and my feet moved automatically as my head continued to spin. After I climbed down off of cloud nine I began doing some hasty checking into what he had modestly called the “Miller Empire.” It turned out to be a cluster of five companies with roots that went back a hundred years. Dave’s Father had revamped things in the sixties and seventies, then been killed in a plane crash when Dave was fourteen—something he had never told me. At age 18 Dave had become co-trustee with his mother of the trust that owned a majority of the stock in the parent company and assumed the title of Chairman of the Board. He had left the management in place but routinely subjected them to the kind of ongoing questioning and probing that was his trademark in college. He then encouraged them to try new approaches and ventures, a fair number of which had succeeded while making some of the older family members who were minority stockholders nervous. Now I understood why he felt such a need to know about everything. Three years previous I had come out of the closet as a person of size—now I was going to be coming of age, if I chose to.

We talked a lot the next week. Then I went to Thanksgiving dinner. There I found out why Dave wasn’t concerned about people seeing me as a “fat girl.” Most of the ladies there were as heavy or more so than myself and it was a non-issue. As Dave had encouraged me, I took the initiative in talking to others and drawing them out rather than waiting to be asked about myself. By the end of the day I felt as though I was among friends. After dinner, which should better have been called a Feast, Dave asked me what I thought. I told him he had been right— these people were human beings with concerns just like anyone else. Theirs just happened to be different. “Does that mean I get to make an announcement?” “Yes, “ I said. “Do you want to put the ring on in front of everyone?” And that is what we did. It is now twenty-five years and four kids into this Cinderella story. To date three of them have turned out to be people of size as well, and they have never been criticized for it. I finally stabilized at around 260 and Dave (a true FA if there ever was one) lets everyone know just how much he thinks of me—as I do of him. Why do I bother to tell this tale? Because some FA’s on this website and elsewhere are frustrated at their inability to find a fat girl to love. Dave knew, from what he had been told and his family experience, that I would blossom in size if given the chance. But he first built a solid foundation of common interests and respect before even daring to buy me dinner. And although we feed each other moderately in bed (it is an erotic bonding experience which we learned long before we heard about others doing it) and still enjoy good food, he has never tried to “make” me gain anything. We have quietly supported aspect of the size acceptance movement (although neither of us are NAAFA members) and indeed employ a disproportionate number of heavier workers among our now 1100 member labor force. But the point has always been that people have merit apart from their size—not that heavier people should be given preference. My advice to men who want a plumper as a partner for life? Be reasonable in your expectations, learn how to love and care in areas beyond just weight, expect to make a lifetime commitment no matter what, build your bond on a basis besides pounds, and you will have as fine a relationship as we have been blessed with. And, yes, the sex is great! ❧

never apologize for our message, but we have every reason to apologize for its presentation if it falls flat on its face. For real change, we need the consciousness of the majority to realize a social inequity, then we probe it until the Powers That Be correct standards, laws, etc. If we come across as a joke, we only dig a deeper hole. Individually, some of our members may receive a shot of empowerment, but very little if any positive, permanent change is achieved by giving carte blanche to anything said or done “In the Name of Fat.” Seven months ago, I took Mindy’s hand in marriage. She is a beautiful, talented lady who makes her maker proud. With eyes that cascade with light and love and a touch that can heal a fevered brow. I’m not sure I am worthy. But like many of her BBW sisters, she cannot leave well enough alone. She’ll go out there and shred her soul over some damn number on a mechanical scale. If a blouse doesn’t fit like it used to, she has to ridicule her selfworth until it is an emaciated shadow of its former self. Clinical depression is a holiday at Martha’s Vineyard compared to the job she can do to her self-esteem. Mindy, you can let the hounds of hell lacerate your heels while you run forever, or you can bid them to eternal damnation because honey, have I got a deal for you. There aren’t any miracles here, just a love you can wrap around a bleeding soul. There isn’t any bread from heavenly skies, just a trust you can always lose your fear in. I can shield those eyes, that they may never see the superfluous imperfections you try to drape around your spirit. I can build the ramparts around your heart, until no one, not even you, can ever desecrate the immaculate love you and all women possess. The screaming rage imbedded within quivering hopelessness shall forever be a distant memory, replaced by a euphoric serenity. But first, I need you to do only one thing for us. Let me lead you to a bridge you must cross on your own. It is the final leap of faith. On the other side are the good people who have experienced the pain that comes with fighting for self-acceptance. You must trust and believe as you believe in the infinite goodness of the common man. But you have to believe in a love of yourself as if God Himself was placing His hand on your shoulder. We will be waiting for you, my dear. Be strong. We are the ones who no longer hurt ourselves…in the name of fat. ❧

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Cold Comfort by Mindy Sommers-Tessel

H

aagen Dazs does not, I repeat, does not make it through the night at my house. It croons to me, sounding, for some reason, like Billy Dee Williams with a Swedish accent, as I’m trying to fall asleep. I do, however, have the best of intentions when I buy it. Sometimes I buy the No Fat Haagen Dazs Ice Cream, which they should really call No Taste And Shit Your Brains Out Coffee or the Eat Whatever the Hell You Want Because it’s Leaving Your Body Anyway Vanilla Fudge. But when I’m a “bad girl” (and I say this with infinite sarcasm) I buy Vanilla Swiss Almond or Bavarian Chocolate. Then I go to town: take the phone off the hook, get me a big old spoon, put on the rattiest tee shirt I own and shove in a video of twenty Taxi episodes. That’s livin’, my friend. You know those “bad girl” days. When someone pisses you off, or disappoints you. When everything stinks. When you’re waiting for a cab and your panty hose gives up on your stomach and wraps around your ankles, making you trip and fall, mooning a bunch of Koreans as you do. Or when the blind date who swore he was handsome turns out to have a big pock mark in his face, and you spend the whole date fantasizing about spackling it. Or when you decide to change your eating habits to healthy ones and you find Nabisco cookie samples in your mailbox. Any one of these scenarios call for a nice big helping of Haagen Dazs. 48

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But those guys at Haagen Dazs must be insane. They say a pint is four servings. Four. For who? Four anorexics? Four diabetics? Four dead people? I say Haagen Dazs is two servings if you’re “good,” one if you’re not. If you feel like a “bad” girl. (Really “bad” girls get two pints, but that's another story altogether.) In my house, Haagen Dazs has history. It was the ice cream for guests as well as for secret binges. It was the ice c ream for good times; recession ice c ream was Breyer's or Louis Sherry. My mother knew I was trouble; when company was expected, there was no place to hide the Haagen Dazs from my prying eyes. Even as a child, it called to me. One time she brought the family into the kitchen for an announcement. Company was coming, she said. It was very important that she serve ice cream with the special pecan pie she baked. (“That’s hidden,” she said slyly, looking straight at me.) So the Haagen Dazs singing away in the freezer was, she announced, strictly off-limits. To everyone. I tried to put it out of my head. Went outside and played. Gave my Barbie Dolls some hideous haircuts. Kept myself busy. Ahhh...but at night, when everyone was asleep, that voice kept me awake, and when I could stand it no longer I ate the whole pint. I remember my bedro o m was so dark that a few times I accidentally jabbed the mattress with my spoon.

The lifestyle magazine for men who prefer large, radiant women. And the women who want to learn about them. DIMENSIONS is published bimonthly as a forum for those with a preference for the large figure and their partners. It explores relationships, experiences and sexuality from that unique perspective and examines issues of lifestyles, activism, health, and media perceptions. DIMENSIONS also provides entertainment including interviews with large performers, movie and literature reviews, fiction, poems and cartoons with size related themes. DIMENSIONS wants to legitimize the preference for the large figure. Now with friendship ads. Subscribe today!

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(Canada US$36; overseas US$50) Mail check to: DIMENSIONS, POB 640, Folsom, CA 95763-0640

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My belly full, I panicked. My mother would kill me. Then I had a brilliant idea: I filled the empty pint up with water. Put it back in the freezer. I figure d it would be heavy when the ice got hard. That would buy me a little time. The next day I watched my mother c a refully as she started serving the pie. When she removed the Haagen Dazs cover, her face scrunched up and she looked bewildered. “Look at this,” she said to my father. “What do you think this is?” One by one, we all went over to look at the hardened ice. Finally, my brother said, “you should really bring this back, Mom. You were ripped off.” There were general murmurs of agreement. I could have kissed him. The pie was really good. A la mode would have made it great, but who was I to complain? ❧

(continued from page 23) the heart “flip-flopping.” As long as there is no underlying clogging of the arteries or any other serious damage from illness or infection, these beats are usually innocuous. Or so it was thought.

What about us? Over the past few years I have heard from many large people who experience extra beats, and whose doctors have told them they have nothing to worry about. The problem is that no one has ever surveyed or done proper research on obese subjects. This is worrisome because any advice is anecdotal and pure guesswork. I surveyed some so-called experts who have given me conflicting advice. Some say the hearts of large people have been damaged by fat infiltrating the electrical system (fat car diomyopathy)causing serious extra beats. Others usually point to sleep apnea as a cause. In a previous article I described apnea as a condition whereby the large thick structures in the neck and throat cause bouts of gasping and snoring during sleep. The resultant lack of oxygen definitely causes extra beats or bouts of very rapid beating in an effort for the body to at least get what little payload is in the system quickly to where it is needed. The problem with this seemingly simple explanation of why large people get irregular of fast rhythms, is that even when the apnea is corrected (or when people have lost lots of weight and no longer require sleep apnea machines) the extra beats seem to persist during the day. In this scenario sleep apnea is not the problem. I am not satisfied with all of these explanations. I am especially perturbed at the usual answer; “tell fat people to lose weight and they will be better off.” I know of many large people who lost huge amounts of weight and their irregular heart beats often got worse. It is well known that rapid dieting is deadly and many succumb to sudden death from heart arrhythmias. The prejudice against large people has negated a proper study of exactly what is going on.

skipped or flip-flop heart beats, write to me at Dimensions, Dr. M. Lerner, POB 640, Folsom, CA 95763-0640. Specifically, tell me the following: a) the person’s age b) gender c) approximate weight d) how often these irregular beats occur (hourly?, every day?), e) the circumstances which make them appear or get worse (eg. tense situations, exercise etc.), f) the time of day they occur, g) any medication which is prescribed, h) any other information that you think is important. Depending on the response I may be able to stimulate the scientific community to pay attention to the millions of large people who deserve the same benefits of medical research as our thinner brethren. In terms of my father Art? He will be missed. I’m sure he would understand that I’m in no hurry to join him. Heaven can wait. ❧

cheeks of my behind. It is probably something we’ll end up reminiscing about for the rest of our lives, but asking Frannie to wipe the K- Y lubricant away so I could dress was one of those shared moments that cemented even further our bond of friendship and fat sisterhood. Overall, I know the visit was a success because the last words the doctor left us with were “see you in a year!,” and on the way to the elevators, we were already planning on making this an annual event. Ladies, if you’ve been putting off a gynecological exam, now is the time to pick up the phone and make the appointment. You’re worth it. Live Large. — [email protected]

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Write me now There are many more heart beat abnormalities to discuss and I will be pleased to go in to these in greater detail if there is interest. But right now we have a more pressing project to address. If you, or someone you love, is large and/or has irregular

(continued from page 14)

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D I M E N S I O N S MAMR K E T S Q U A R E Publications Read our interviews with Rosie O'Donnell, Carnie Wilson, Delta Burke, and more! Subscribe to Radiance: The Magazine for Large Women, now in its 13th year of print! We cover health, media, fashion, and politics. Radi ance is a glossy, 56+ page, color magazine -a leading resource in the Size Acceptance Movement. $20/1 year; $35/2 years (write for rates outside U.S.). Visit our website at www.radiancemagazine.com. Radiance, P.O. Box 30246, Oakland, CA 94604. 510- 4820680 (or [email protected]). Check us out! WILSON BARBERS NEWSLETTER — A 20-page adult newsletter featuring Barbers' FA fiction (two stories per issue). Now up to issue #6! Issues #1-5 are still available at $6.00 an issue, $20.00 for four. Send to: Oakhaus, 910 W. Division, Normal, IL 61761-3428. Also check out our Fat Magic web page on the Dimensions web site: pencomputing.com/dim. BELLY BUSTERS, a newsletter for feeders/ feedees. Issues 6-9 for $35.00, past issues $10 each (#4 sold out). Will run a free personal ad with each order!! Order both videos combined for $40.00 special. Send to Caldera Co., POB 1892, So. San Francisco, CA 94083. LINDA'S BIG CONNECTIONS — Attention BBWs and admirers! Monthly publication -- FREE Personal Ads -- most list name, address, and phone number for direct contact. FREE forwarding on coded ads. $3.00 for current issue, $15.00/6month subscription. When sending in your FREE Personal Ad, please indicate if personal data is to be printed, or if you prefer a coded ad. Call/write: Linda Nourse, 1003 Rosebud Ave., Twin Lakes, WI 53181, Phone 414-877-9434, e-mail: [email protected], Website: http://livnlovnlg.com/cc. BELLY MAGAZINE — Where fat chicks are cool. A new British FA magazine featuring lots of big European girls, personal ads, fat fiction, photo pin ups, nightlife, fat lifestyles, video reviews, and amateur photos. The first fresh issue is £7 within Europe, £8 USA/world. VISA/Mastercard, Eurocheque in pounds, British cheque, cash in registered envelope $10, F.25 Dutch Gilder, DM 25 German, £7 Sterling. Sorry, no other currency. Payable to RWP, Box 1956, London N19 4BR, England. Credit card Tel: 0171-607-8899, FAX: 0171-607-8866. UK contributors welcome. THE BIG AD — A worldwide personals magazine for full-framed gay men and their admirers. Over 500 personal ads with three feature men. For information send SASE to: P.O. Box 14725, San Francisco, CA 94114-4725, or call 1-800-783-2441.

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PLUS PERSONALS connects bountiful beauties and their admirers. Place your FREE ads by calling 800-468-3424. Listen to others' ads and retrieve replies to yours by calling 900-7723994 (only $2.49/minute!).

CHICAGO COLOSSAL CUTIES — Monthly dances in Chicagoland area, also cookouts. BBW model search September 12th. Call the hotline for free model search: 847-604-3404, or Dixie at 847-473-5362.

We're called Big Babes and we are new to the scene. We have Sexy Letters and Pictures and a Great Magazine. Our letters are Great, really Hot! and you'll melt when you see what our magazines have got. So, if you're curious, don't stay in a fog. Send $5.00 now for our new catalog. Stone, 4515-A N. Ashland, Chicago, IL 60640. Call Jen at 773-989-9655.

Maryland GREATER BALTIMORE NAAFA is offering fun social events for large folks and their supporters. Don't miss our July and August swim parties and fall dance! Call 410-679-5258, or email [email protected].

Social Clubs/Dances/Events California THE BIG DIFFERENCE — A unique meeting place in the Los Angeles area for big, beautiful people and admirers in a comfortable, nonjudgmental atmosphere. Parties, dances, more. Call 310-398-5113 for schedule of events. BIG CELEBRATION DANCES — (Non-smoking environment). Held at Double Play in San Francisco, CA, corner of 16th and Bryant. Dances held 8:00 pm to 1:00 am. (call for dates). $20.00 includes two well drinks, food, DJ, lots of fun, door prizes, separate dance floor, social dining area, and full bar. Come as a party of three and pay for only two. Bring this ad and receive $1.00 off. Founders: Antonio Cruz and Tammera Krone. Phone: 510-581-2446. Website: http://www.Geocities.com/southbeach/pier/8755/bc_main.htm. AMPLE IMAGE CLUB — Where Southern California's finest BBWs and their admirers party in the L.A. area. Toll-free event hotline: 888380-8361. Info: 2107 W. Commonwealth Avenue, Suite 202, Alhambra, CA 91803. VOLUPTUOUS PREFERENCES — Southern California's hottest new social group! Join us for exciting activities not offered elsewhere. We're hip, young, progressive, energetic, sexy. Monthly events! Visit our website: www.shoplb.com/volup/volup.html, or write: 2675 Irvine Ave., Suite F, #249, Costa Mesa, CA 92627. Call 949-451-0135 Illinois BIG BABES — Hot time, summer in the city. Come play with girls who are fat and pretty. The next time we party will be August 30. But you must call and RSVP before that Sunday in August. If you're interested and you need to know, call Sylvia at 773-506-7440 and if she's not home and you need to talk live, call Jen at 773-989-9655.

Massachusetts ALL OUT! FALL OUT! WEEKEND — “A celebration of size"—sponsored by the New England Chapter of NAAFA -- will be held at the Westborough, MA, Marriott, Nov. 6-8th, 1998. Pool Party... Workshops... Trunk Sale... Masquerade Ball." "Not so silent" Silent Auction, and many other activities!!! Call NAAFA at 781-98NAAFA (781-986-2232) for more information. Michigan Big Beautiful Goddesses — Welcome to Michigan's Big Beautiful Goddesses and Admirers Social Club. The purpose of this social club is to bring together BBWs and their admirers in a social atmosphere. Our socials will consist of anything from movie nights, card parties, adult truth or dare games, male strippers, our social wet T-shirt and jock strap contest, and theme parties. For more information, contact Laura Novak, hostess of B.B.G.S.C. at 248624-2844. MORE TO LOVE — Where Bigger is Better! A social club where Big Beautiful people and their admirers can meet, dance, and just have fun in a safe, comfortable, non-judgmental atmosphere. Join us for bi-monthly dances in the metropolitan Detroit, MI area. For more info call our hotline: 313-438-2720 or call Debbie: 313261-9039. CHICAGO COLOSSAL SOCIAL CLUB cordially invites you to have Fun! Fun! Fun! at our monthly functions in a warm, friendly, non-judgmental atmosphere where everyone is welcomed -- singles, single parents, married and dating couples -- everyone! Come and bring the whole family. Call Dixie at 847-473-5362, or our hotline at 847-604-3404 for up-to-the-minute information. e-mail: [email protected], Attention Dixie. New Jersey AMPLE AWAKENINGS — Big beautiful people living and loving life, meeting new friends, and having BIG fun. Dance parties in S. Jersey and Pennsylvania. Free personal ads. Call and connect: 609-877-9116, 215-602-2064. New York NEW YORK'S FANTASIES IN ABUNDANCE SEXY BURLESQUE REVUE featuring 16 multi-

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Fashions LAUGHING SISTERS — 100% cotton nightgowns, flannel AND summer weight to 6X, includes maternity/nursing. Catalog $1.00. Laughing Sisters, 4514 Manitou, San Diego, CA 92117, . 10X HOSPITAL GOWNS are great for doctor appointments and hospital stays. Don't be caught without one! $29.95 to NAAFA, P.O. Box 188620, Sacramento, CA 95818. Visa/MC/Check/MO. SHOES (your size) in WIDE STYLE AND COMFORT — Sandals, pumps, dress, walking shoes. Full grain leather, steel shanks. Experience the "Foot Care" difference. Call 914533-2339 or SASE to: FootCare, 272 Katonah Ave., Katonah, NY 10536. 2X-12X T-SHIRTS, Tank Tops, Batwing Shirts, Sweatsuits, Fanny Wrappers, Nightshirts, plain or imprinted. FREE mail order brochure. FULL BLOOM, 185 So. Pearl, Dept. D-74, Denver, CO 80209.

Photography BIG BEAUTIFUL IMAGES — Now offering sets of your favorite plumpers. We have Grace Nuyten, Eartha Quake, Ashley, and many more, plus videos and cartoons. For catalog send $1.00 to: Big Beautiful Images, P.O. Box 91001, Lafayette, LA 70509-1001. ABOVE AVERAGE women deserve above average photography. Contact Ultimate Eye Studios, San Francisco, at 415-512-7904, or http://www.jsd.com/voluptuous.html. We specialize in the voluptuous image.

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Business CA General Contractor (State License #733283) -- Specializing in remodeling, roofing, concrete, and custom brick work, painting, patio covers, and redwood decks. Also installation of ramps for wheelchairs, safety bars for bathrooms/showers, and other needs for the home. Call Russ at 818-838-9191, pager: 818803-7877, or write to: P.O. Box 950093, Mission Hills, CA 91395-0093.

Advertising/Mktg GET ON THE WEB! Take advantage of Dimensions Online’s 20,000+ hits per week and make your presence known on the web. Become a Dimensions partner to advertise your product or service on the #1 BBW/FA website. You can even use our online payment system to sell images, stories, or other products. Call 916-984-9947 for information, and check out http://dimensionsmagazine.com

Adult Matters FAT GRANDMAS -- NUDE!! Chubby to GIGANTIC "ladies-next-door" 40-80+. Steamy videos, photos, plus nationwide direct contact lists. Photo-filled catalog plus revealing color pic samples $3.00 -- with "Slippery Slits" naked. Grannies video (VHS) $45.00. Monique's, PO Box 2513-D, Menlo Park, CA 94026. WEIGH 250-999+ POUNDS? Supersize female models wanted (no experience necessary), anywhere in U.S., for non-pornographic videos/photos. Submit photos/weight/measurements with SASE to discreet fat-femalerun company. Bountiful Productions, 18-53 College Point Blvd., Suite 14D80, Flushing, NY 11356. BOUNTIFUL PRODUCTIONS carries sexy photos/videos (hundreds!) of beautiful big women! (See our Display Ad on page 60), for full-color catalog and $10 discount coupon, send $5 U.S. and SASE (78 cents postage) to: Bountiful Productions, 18-53 College Point Blvd., Suite 14D79, Flushing, NY 11356. Call 718-4450687 (M-F, 9-5 ET).

DI MENS I ONS Mar k etpl ace a d rates are $0.80 per word (minimum 30 words). Send ads and payment (check or money order) to: Dimensions Marketplace, P.O. Box 640, Folsom, CA 95763-0640.

the the the

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Wonderful clothing in Interlock, Cotton, Rayon, Cotton/Lycra, Chiffon, Georgette, and Nylon! 19225 Ventura Blvd. Tarzana, CA 91356 (818) 345-3593 NAME ______________________________________ ADDRESS ___________________________________ CITY________________________________________ STATE ________________ZIP ___________________

If you want to share your beauty and are interested in being featured in Dimensions, send a few good photos and a brief description of yourself to: Dimensions Model P.O. Box 640 Folsom, CA 95763-0640 (Due to the number of submissions we receive, we cannot guarantee consideration nor return or acknowledgement of submissions)

Attractive, Adventurous Amazons Explore the world of private wrestling matches. Earn $150 per hour and up. Contact Competitive Enterprises at 800-200-2923, or send email response to [email protected].

Dimensions

August 1998

51

B ACK I SSUES B ack issues of Dimensions are a special thrill and will provide you with many hours of enjoyable, informative reading. Each copy is full of stories, letters, experiences of men who prefer the large figure and women who enjoy being admired in their abundant glory. There are columns explaining both the male and the female point of view, lots of fiction and romance, plus health and media issues. A brief history: In No. 31 we started our very successful personal ads; No. 35 saw the first "Wide Angle" pictorial; No. 42 had the first 4color cover and centerfold. In No. 64 we expanded to 64 pages and much more color photos. In No. 70 we added a big fashion section and eight additional color pages. Treat yourself!

Limited supply! Order now.

No. 79 June 1998

When government turns on people Fashions: Barb’s Large & Lovely Hillel Schwartz: Obesi-TV Fiction: Manhole (1) Pictorial: Catherine and Cathy, Dr. Moe on invasive testing Sally Smith: The Quick Fix

No. 78 February 1998

No. 72 November 1996

Size acceptance, a 24 hour job Phat Fashions: Peggy Lutz Plus Female FA column debut Review: Larger Than Death The tale of an Italian FA 47-45-63 Bella and 44-36-60 Char Dr. Moe on the Corrigan case

Dr. Moe on ER Fashions: Making it Big Hillel Schwartz: Breathing Easy Fiction: Salome (1) Pictorial: Patty and Victoria Olympic FA musician Josh Max Life doesn’t stop at 351 pounds

No. 77 November 1997

No. 71 September 1996

Fat kids - parental issues Fat prejudice Hot Holiday Fashions Dari Walker’s art Pictorial: Dove and Cari Dr. Moe on migraine headaches Greetings from Cyberspace

The Nutty Professor Fashions: John Sun Silks Hillel Schwartz: Does Fat Happen? Fiction: Anna Nicole Smith (3) Pictorial: Grace and 480 lbs. Karen Olympic FA musician Josh Max Inside: On 40-inch thighs

No. 76 September 1997

No. 70 July 1996

Fat rage Fat prejudice Fashion: Love your Peaches Name of the Gain Pictorial: Cat and Michelle Dr. Moe on back pain 1997 NAAFA Convention report

The Chicago Police Outrage Fashions: By Ro! Designs Hillel Schwartz: Fat and Noise Fiction: The Betrothal (2) Pictorial: Gina and Suzan Social: Big Sensations, MA About compulsive/binge eating

No. 75 July 1997

No. 67 November 1995

Where to find reliable size acceptance information Hillel Schwartz on “heavy” Fashion: The SCREAM girl Pictorial: Lisa and Heather Dr. Moe on STDs The latest on diet drugs

No. 74 April 1997 Who is fat enough? Pictorial: Zsalynn, and Cindy Dr. Moe on lymphatic problems How do you explain Dimensions? Josh Max says what he likes Control issues

B A C K ISSUES OF D I M E N S I O N S : Send me the following issues of DIMENSIONS (Circle below). I am enclosing $5.50 per requested issue (Canada $6.25 per issue; overseas $10.00 per issue) shipping/handling included. 26 28 30 34 36 37 39 40 42 44 49 51 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 64 65 66 67 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78

SPECIAL VALUE PACKS: GET ANY FIVE RECENT ISSUES (68-78) FOR ONLY $18.00! (Add $3.00 for shipping; Canada add $6, overseas add $20.00) Mail to: Dimensions, P.O. Box 640, Folsom, CA 95763-0640 Name:

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Address: __________________________________________________ City/State/Zip: _______________________________________________ Bill my ■ VISA/MC/Disc ■ AMEX # _________________________________ Exp date:_______Signature:___________________________________ 52

August 1998

Dimensions

No. 73 February 1997

The Romance Diva debuts Phat Fashions: Myles Ahead Top 10 reasons to adore a BBW The fat Polka-dot cuties Fiction: Zap! You’re Fat! 320 lbs. Terra and 46-38-50 Diva Dr. Moe on chronic fatigue

Dr. Moe: The spectre of menopause Davis on The Seven Deadly Sins Male nude centerfolds? Fiction: Key Lime Dreams I (2) Pictorial: Carol Mackintosh Pictorial update on buMpers How to do successful personal ads The Feeder wars

No. 66 August 1995 Threat of genetic manipulation No one can dictate your weight! Are you too fat for sex? Those incurable closet FAs Pictorial: Lovely Tina Book reviews: Flesh, Afterlife Diet FA movement? Comments

No. 65 June 1995 Medicalization of Fatness Must FAs also be activists? The pain of young fat people Gain Fiction by Wilson Barbers (2) Pictorial: Deborah Cinkus (380) The career of actor Laird Cregar Opinion on separate FA movement?

No. 64 April 1995 A look at genetics and fat Comments on Shape Up America! Sexual power dynamics Fiction: Neighborly Pursuits (3) Pictorial: Rachael Sabo (6’-250) Fat adult mags and size acceptance Lubidet personal hygiene system

No. 62 November 1994 Talking with 500 lbs. physician Dr. Moe Lerner. A separate FA movement? Queen of Hearts by Delacroix (3) Pictorial: Feedee Joy Indictment of Lipophobia by Karl Niedershuh A look at circus fat ladies

No. 61 August 1994 Cyberdating--exciting new ways of meeting people. Why Americans are getting fatter Portrait: Vendredi’s Jan Herrick Goddess by Gordon Fisher (2) Pictorials: Raynae, and Cyndy Lybrand’s self esteem story Those darn first dates Review: One Size Does Not Fit All

No. 60 June 1994 With dieting discredited, what’s next on the agenda? Are FAs getting a bad rap? Portrait: C. H. Blickenstorfer Between the Lines-Becky Fox (3) Pictorials: Pam & Dee, and Betsy Smith’s personal growth story Dr. Moe on sleeping disorders

No. 59 April 1994 A detailed look at thin-bashing and reverse discrimination First encounter with an FA Portrait: Paul Delacroix Neighbors - M.A. Maloney (3) Midden Heap - Hillel Schwartz Pictorials: Heather and Raynea Dr. Moe on varicose veins

No. 58 February 1994 Body building: fat-by-choice Ode to thigh-reducing cream Size-related litigation and legislation - by Sally E. Smith The Party - T. Richards (2) Fat Chances - Hillel Schwartz Pictorials: Cute Rhonda Oliver and growing Betsy Smith Print media and body image

No. 57 November 1993 The art of Fernando Botero Call for a new agenda in obesity research - by Sally E. Smith Pen Pals - hot, explicit fiction by Michelle McDermott (1) On complimenting fat women Pictorial: Susan and Mary Dr. Moe Lerner on diabetes

No. 56 September 1993 About being a young FA Profile: Big Beauty photographer Neil Osbourn Weight gain fantasies The Photograph - V. L. (2) Fat Chances - Hillel Schwartz Pictorial: 400+ lbs. Deidra

No. 55 July 1993 Bedroom politics versus political correctness Sherman: Daytime talk shows’ fascination with fat Hindsights of Brie... Pictorial: Gorgeous Linda FA Charm School - M.Maloney (3) Dr. Moe Lerner on hormones

No. 54 May 1993 Long distance relationships: the good and the bad The tale of a WLS survivor The Super-SIG for women size 48+ Pictorial: New England Bounty The Music Box - P. Jennings (3) The lack of AIDS awareness in the size acceptance community

No. 49 May/June 1992 WALTER HUDSON: The life and death of a very big man Life and love in the fat lane Outlook: The shortcomings of the size acceptance movement Forum: Is there too much food and sex in FA fiction?

No. 42 March/April 1991 Interview: “BABE” SUSAN PERETZ Inside: Why I prefer big men Forum: Why do fat women break up with their partners? 10 Resolutions for the 90s Pictorial: the Dazzling Petra How much longer until we get mad? - by Karl Niedershuh Sheila and I - Patrick Devine (3) Fiction rating key: 1 - Romance; 2 Weight gain; 3 - Fat fiction; 4 - Satire; 5 - Female FA

Bodies

for Sept. and Oct., 1998

by Sandie Sabo

"Big, Heavenly Bodies!", copyright 1998 by Sandie Sabo. (All rights reserved.) Sandie is a Psychic-Astrologer (with 25 years experience), TV and Radio Personality, fashion maven and fat-rights promoter. For information on personal consultations you may write Sandie at P.O. Box 257, Cardiff-by-the-Sea, CA 92007, or e-mail: [email protected]

Aries: (Mar 21-Apr 20) September:

Leo: (Jul 23-Aug 22) September: Work and

Sagittarius: (Nov 23-Dec 21) September:

Taurus: (Apr 21-May 20) September: It’s

Virgo: (Aug 23-Sept 22) September: Happy

Capricorn:

Gemini: (May 21-Jun 20) September: Little

Libra: (Sept 23-Oct 22) September: Before

Romance is at the top of your list! You feel sexy and irresistible. Time for single Aries BBWs and FAs to connect! For marrieds or live-ins, the heat is at home! If you are getting into a new relationship, however, avoid joint financial endeavors, as they could prove costly. Employment and long distance career issues are important at month’s end. October: Work and business remain on the front burner as we settle into fall. Wonderful new career contacts prove beneficial. You will find collaboration particularly rewarding. New friends and business acquaintances are highlighted. Imagination and creativity are strong for you now, just in time for Halloween. time to take that long overdue vacation before summer is over! BBW and FA bulls have been all work and no play. Making time for pleasure and romance pay off with a deepening of ties with loved ones and family. As we swing into fall, you maintain that social attitude, and are the most popular person on your block! October: Home and family pursuits are most important as the month begins. You may find yourself involved in updating or redecorating your home environment. Money issues seem to need attending to. Something promised you may need follow up for you to collect. People don’t seem to be keeping their word. Emotions run high at month’s end. people in your life will be getting ready for school, and busying up your fall schedule. Home and hearth is particularly sweet. Entertaining at home is delightful, and brings lots of warm fuzzies. Enjoy those “good bye to summer” barbecues. You receive communications from a distance. October. Romance is on your mind, with lots of social invitations and offers of dates coming your way if you are single. Married Gemini FAs and BBWs really seem to be lighting each others fire at the moment. Things are sizzling! Household repairs and upgrades need immediate attention. Don’t skip steps or take shortcuts as you will end up re-doing all your hard efforts.

Cancer: (Jun 21-Jul 22) September: Finan-

cial needs motivate you to look at job or career changes. The desire to be your own boss is very tempting. BBW and FA Crabs who are unattached could be finding romantic partners at social events. Accept all invitations! New friends are also coming in to your life. Lots of interaction. October: Quite times near home and family are perfect for Cancerians now. A little R & R at home is just what’s necessary to get the creative juices flowing again. A party you put together for business acquaintances pays off in big dividends. Charitable needs draws you into volunteering time that proves quite rewarding.

success are high on your agenda, and you put in lots of overtime. Be careful of getting into arguments with someone who’s opinion you value. Talents and creativity run high for Leos and may even turn into a money making opportunity. You’ll do activism and stick up for others in need. October: Fall social activities are hot for Leo big people and their partners. You are always on the go, and are making lots of new friends at this time. You feel a strong need to expand your mind, and might be considering taking a class or going back to school. Some difficult issues at work need dealing with. A calm, cool attitude is necessary to fix the situation. Birthday Virgos! This an exciting time of the year for you. Birthdays are always a high time for you, and puts you in the limelight. Personal projects and goals are important now to BBW and FA Virgos. It is time to follow through with things that are good for the soul. It will soon be time to break free of old ways that no longer serve you, and to try new things. October: Financial matters are now on your mind, and need tending to. You might be working some extra hours, and taking on other responsibilities. You have a lot of energy and are willing to put in to things what is necessary to get the job done. Family members are more helpful than usual.

the full moon on the 6th, things seem tense for you. People around you are irritable. Be cautious with cars and mechanical equipment. Intuition is strong and leads to look at things in your life that need addressing. Trust what you get. By the end of the month your social life should be in high gear, with lots of invitations for you. October: Month starts on a creative high note, which helps with a big meeting around the 6th. This is a successful time for you as ideas for advancement abound. Romance is due for some changes. Clear communication is very important, as their may be some confusion. Relationships will need re-evaluation.

Scorpio: (Oct 23-Nov 22) September:

Energy, up until the full moon on the 6th, is intense and unpredictable. Upheavals may occur at home, as well as in business and career choices. By mid month, focus is on social endeavors. Friends are helpful and supportive. A new person in your circle sparks suspicions. October: This may be a tough month, but before the 6th planetary activity is helping you to resolve things in your life with harmony. Take advantage of this by working behind the scenes, and taking care of you and yours. Mid month you gain more respect in the workplace. Do not start new projects after the 22nd, as the energy is not favorable.

You feel a lot of restless energy and excitement until the full moon on the 6th. Focus and concentration help to get things accomplished. Don’t go overboard though, as you may regret it. Your focus on career matter is tested this month. It is time to get back on track at work. After the 20th, things shift to intellectual pursuits. Watch for a special new FA or BBW to enter your life. October: The month begins with you being at the height of popularity. And though your social life is grand, work is a pain. Things on the career front are demanding a lot of your time and attention this month. An eye to detail is extremely necessary to avoid costly mistakes. (Dec 22-Jan 19) September: There is a strong possibility of unexpected changes in your finances until the full moon on the 6th. If you are cautious now you should be able to make plans for better times. If you are careful, you may even find an incredible “must-have” bargain at this time. Mid month will bring BBW and FA Cappys a bright shiny opportunity for something wonderful. October: The month begins with you feeling lucky! Perfect time to ask for that raise or promotion, before the 5th. Mid month you’re devoted to work, but it seems to pay off well. Friendships are a little off toward month’s end, and you need to take things they say with a grain of salt.

Aquarius: (Jan 20-Feb 18) September:

Partners and people around you may be a bit uncooperative until the full moon on the 6th. Watch your temper, and use your words with caution. A financial situation comes to the forefront mid-month, mostly documents or legal papers. Make sure that everyone understands what is happening. Month’s end brings exciting new opportunities Aquarians, maybe even a new romance! October: Others will be looking favorably on you this month, and things will finally seem like they are coming your way. Watch for an important contract or negotiation to happen around midmonth. It highlights shared resources and professional endeavors.

Pisces: (Feb 19-Mar 20)September:

The first week is exciting, action packed, and possibly disruptive. Friends may need more of your time than you can give. After the 6th your personal relationships will be more easy going and relaxed. Expect a solid understanding with mates or partners. October: It’s time to rally for that important social cause that’s near and dear to your heart. You can accomplish a lot of good activism work at this time. Watch finances after the 5th of the month. Be sure to balance your checkbook, as you might end up overdrawn. Mid-month puts you in a mood to learn new things, and be

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August 1998

53

MUSINGS

Tr u t h i n L a b e l i n g by HILLEL SCHWARTZ

I

n a recent book, Hiding, the philosopher Mark Taylor argues that, everything is skin, and there is no place to hide. After all— and this is indisputable—we begin, at conception, as three layers of skin. Gradually, in a process still not fully understood, the cells of the blastoderm learn how to specialize and become nerve cells, tissue cells, or organs, but we begin as skin. Not only that, argues Taylor—and this is disputable—we can no longer look for meaning beyond or beneath the surfaces of things or people. In the postmodern, electrical, digitalworld, Skin is the Alpha and the Omega, surfaces are all, and we should celebrate the multifold. If we accept this argument, then labeling becomes more important than ever it was. We have had truth in labeling campaigns ever since the turn of the last century, and we have truth in labeling disputes ever since Greek, Chinese, and Hindu philosophers broached the difference between the ideal and the real, but now we are down to the nitty gritty, where the label is not just an embarrassed attempt to name our world in a post-Edenic world where we do not know, as apparently Adam did, the real and secret names of things. No, today, labels (according to Taylor’s logic) are all we have. And I think it is indisputable that we all read labels more than we ever did—labels on clothing (is it pure cotton? is it a name brand? is it American? is it machine washable?), on electronic apparatus (is it compatible with my other electronic machines? is it in constant need of new batteries? does it come with a guarantee

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of local service for repair and upgrade?), and on foods (what do they have by way of calories, carbohydrates, minerals, vitamins, fiber, saturated fat, monounsaturated fat, polyunsaturated fat, additives, and preservatives?), on automobiles, trucks, and RVs, and so on. Indeed, one could without exaggeration call us a culture of labels, and that would include not only the tags on merchandise and the side panels on boxes or cans of food but also the one-liners we use to tag our events, our ideas, our feelings, our political stands, and our religious beliefs. One might in defense observe that all cultures are cultures of labels, that human beings as wordsmiths must ever operate within a context of labels, and that these are the shorthands by which we make our way through the world. But our lives today seem to be conditioned by labels that are at once shorter and longer than ever before: shorter, in the sense that we do not today tolerate long explanations, complicated directions, elegant disquisitions, or careful elaborations in ANY setting, whether on a clothing tag or in a political debate; longer, in the sense that we require our labels now to include warnings about proximater and remote dangers (children suffocating in plastic bags, electrical shock from using a plug the wrong

way, food allergy and choking prospects). In our culture, then, labels are much more than shorthands by which to negotiate our way in the world. They create in and of themselves a series of futures (if you do this, that might happen), a set of disclaimers (this doll is not meant to be eaten and we cannot be responsible if your child devours it), and a contour of expectations (“longlasting,” “guaranteed for 3 years,” “ready to eat,” “just unpack and start cooking”). They accompany everything, and they intuit our intentions, our desires, our fantasies, and our inconstancies— like the products themselves, more and more frequently designed to shut off or shut down if we forget them or leave them in a fit of despair or moment of peril or simple hurry. Irons won’t burn down our houses, computers won’t burn images into screens, car alarms won’t continue ringing . . . . Further, in a culture of labels, labels tend to stick, in part because they are taken to be so significant, in part because they seem integral to each object or position, and in part because they are anchored in prospective futures about which we are prone to litigate at the drop of a stitch. We sue because manufacturers had not anticipated every possible shortcoming of their product; indeed, it may come to the point that we sue thumbtack makers for not anticipating the danger of a thumbtack swallowed by a child. We sue because the product failed after 20 or 30 or 40 years. We sue because the guarantees were insufficient or the labels not completely informative. We sue in the increasingly firm conviction that labels are fully representative of the person, product, or opinion, now and forevermore. So labels tend to stick and truth in labeling becomes a matter of great and en-

during consequence. One of the reasons why there is a “fat acceptance” movement rather than, say, a “human acceptance” movement , is that fat sticks. I have previously meditated upon the curiously metamorphic phenomenon of the cultural idea of fat as both sticky and greasy, clumpy and oily; here I am talking about words used as labels, and how the word “fat” sticks to people because we are living in a culture that wants all labels to stick. Once one is labeled (or under social pressure assumes the label of) “alcoholic,” one is stuck forever with being an “addictive personality” and, even if a teetotaler for 20 years, merely a reformed “alcholic.” Once one is labeled “fat,” turning into a thin person is nominally easier than turning into a non-alcoholic (a fact reflected in the strange absence from our dictionaries of a positive noun for people who drink alcoholic beverages without ill effect), but like the sober AA member, staying thin presumes a constant vigilance against “fat”--a vigilance supported by a culture of dieting. “Fat acceptance” is linguistically easier to defend than a movement to dispense with labels that define us by our body type, our weight, or our body mass index, the newest of the labels to appear on the newsstands. Yet labeling is no longer just a question of words. Precisely because labels are so conspicuous, constant, requisite, and consequential companions to our acts, ideas, possessions, and ambitions, labels have taken on a substantiveness that is as suspicious as it is encouraged. However, although we retain enough suspiciousness to issue regular complaints against the media and advertising agencies as the culprits who encourage the reduction of our lives to labels, we ourselves (each of us) is also, in Mark Taylor’s terms, responsible willynilly for endorsing a world in which skin is all, and labels everything. The label becomes the skin, and we buy the cereal or the car because of the label, which must be true. Truth in labeling, therefore, is not just a question of words but of identity. Many of us carry personal names around that we have never personally identified with, names that have been historical burdens (e.g., Jr., II) or embarrassments (movie stars now out of fashion, saints now demoted). We can change our names without changing our bodies, or we can change our bodies and reclaim an identity more apt to the name, or we can change both names and bodies “in the name of” a personal renaissance. Labels, which once were considered adjectival, verge now on the nominative, and these too may be bur-

dens or embarrassments impinging on our identity. A person who is called “Slim” because he is Fat, or “Fatty” because she is anorexic, has to fight constantly against the confusion of the adjective with the noun, of the temporary with the eternal, of the superficial with the solid. Living as we do in a culture of labels, and perhaps in a culture that is all skin, such that stickiness becomes entirely conflated with substantiality, the “truth” of truth in labeling inheres as much in the actual endurance of the label as in its meaning, just as our identities are defined over time by certain clear continuities in what we do and how we do it. Decades ago the movement to defend fat people against discrimination was dedicated to showing how insubstantial, superficial, and silly it was to define fat people in terms of their fat. Basically, the attack then was directed against the very act of labeling. We are all human beings, it was said (and it still is) in our great biological and physiological diversity, and to consider some people first and foremost as fat people is to reduce them to what Aristotle would have called an “accident” or “epiphenomenon,” something that is not essential to the being or to the ongoing identity of an individual. In recent years, people of all ilks (in ethnic, racial, religious, and physiological contexts) have instead accepted the accidental as substantive. Rather than denying its validity and virtue as a label, they have taken it to heart. This would indicate to me, as a cultural historian, that the stickiness of labels is akin to that of our superglues, bonding the accidental to the substantive in the same way that superglues bind unlike materials, glass to metal, rubber to wood. Once the bond is set (and the label says, be careful about getting the glue on your hands, you could bind your fingers to your lips!), it is stronger than love and practically eternal. We do, on the other hand, have Post-Its, trademarked and rampant. Transient, temporary signs to put up on anything, anywhere, in most any color, for the nonce. (Note the sentence fragment: that is what the Post-It usually is.) And, yes, we do have labels on IRS forms and mail-order catalogues that are peel-off: we can use them again to send in our order for the products of our dreams. Our technology of labels allows for other than the eternal. And I suppose I could pursue an extended analogy from the peel-off label to the resurgence of diet products that promise to make anyone instantly thin, to change individual labels from fat to thin,

with many claims but little evidence of permanence. Reducing diets pretend to offer peel-off labels but present us with Post-Its. Despite these alternative label technologies, I would stick to my notion that “Fat Acceptance” is currently the label for the fat-anti-discrimination movement because it is nearly impossible, in our cultural climate, to challenge the central act of labeling, let alone to change a label. Once a child abuser, always a child abuser. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. Once fat, always inclined to fat. Some (mistakenly) invoke genetics in support of this prison of consistency, others (misleadingly) psychology, but what is truly behind the construction of such a prison and of such labeling-in-perpetuity is a loss of conventional faith in the conventional process of conversion and a fin de siecle ambivalence about the very possibility of transformation. This is particularly apparent, and comprehensible, with respect to “Fat Acceptance,” since fat is imagined to be, paradoxically, chemically intransigent and personally slipshod, something that sticks around until you finally decide to take your body into your own hands. The increasingly vehement “war on fat” has assumed an evangelical fervor that is characteristic of those who in other frames of reference see evil as intransigent but humans as graced with free will. How this essay has taken us from the superficiality of labels to the imponderable theological depths of free will is likely to be a bit of a surprise to all but Mark Taylor, who would have predicted this from the start. After all, skin is an anagram for sink, and there is nothing else for us to sink our teeth into than skin. The meat of the issue is that the more we rely on brief, fearful, defensive labels for identifying ourselves and our world of ideas, perceptions, objects, and powers, the more we lose of ourselves that was, not too long ago, beneath the surface. What finally will be the consequences of talking and acting under the rubric of “fat acceptance” and identifying oneself by an adjective that has been rolled over and rolled up into a noun? I suspect that we are all being skinned alive. ❧

Dr. Hillel Schwartz is a cultural historian living and writing in Encinitas, California. His book “Never Satisfied—A Cultural History of Diets, Fantasies and Fat” is regard ed as a milestone in the size acceptance movement. He can be reached at h i l l e l @ igc.org

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(continued from page 43) N H—NAUGHTY, NICE LARGE HUNK OF WOMAN !! Pear shaped, 41, confident, seeks monogamous gentleman, non-smoker or courteous smoker, no drugs, any race, slim to rugged build for enjoyment of each other's company, mutual respect, sharing what life has to offer. Skin color not important. - 26943 ❤ N J—Sincere single white man, 37, 5'9", wishes to meet very pear-shaped, bottom-heavy woman over 500 lbs., 20-40, for friendship and possible serious relationship. I can travel. - 26731 ❤

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in SouthShore

$20.00 Admission • Fabulous Music... • Fantastic Midnight Buffet • Two free drinks • Door Prizes • 50/50 Call for Dates and Locations

732-988-0550 or 609-893-1035 NJ—Why be lost in space? Party with fellow space travelers at the New Jersey Chapter of NAAFA's "COME BACK TO THE FUTURE" holiday celebration. Join us as we explore the galaxy in search of earthly delights. Our point of destination is the Parsippany Hilton during the weekend of November 13th through the 15th, 1998. Contact Mission Control at (973) 927-3103 for further details. ❤ N Y—I guess you'd like to know who I am, but does anyone answering this ad really know who they are? If I explain myself it's only natural that I've gotta use my own personal concept of myself and that's gonna be tainted by my self esteem, and fueled by my ego, and tempered by my defense mechanisms, and of course, who knows whether you will get the real concept of who I am. I would say, considering that, I think I'm a pretty nice guy. So, good looking, self sufficient, financially very secure. ISO gal that's bottom heavy, has good sense of humor, can be silly but also serious humor, kinky in a nice kinda way. I enjoy theater, dining out (from pizza to pate), live on the water (have had boats of my own), dancing, movies, educational TV. - 26893 ❤ N Y—African American man in fifties seeking a down-to-earth, religious woman who is liberal and down to earth. My interests are many! OK to write. - 26905 ❤

N Y—If you like what you see let me know first about you. My preferences: an avid N.Y. sports fan, W/M, D/W/S, 41 to 50, over 5'8", 200+, D/D free, non-smoker, no feeders/inmate. Letter and photo a must. - 26969 ❤ N Y—Black male 61, 5'11", 245lbs. Seeks big beautiful nice-looking white, black, or Hispanic lady between the age of (39-60). She must weigh between 295-450 with big big legs, nice stomach, big juicy thighs, wide hips, big fat behind. Also she must have a big breast size (4654DD), beautiful face and a head full of nice hair. All this is a must. Phone, picture, letter OK. - 26878 ❤ N Y—If you like what you see let me know first about you. My preferences: an avid N.Y. sports fan, W/M, D/W/S, 41 to 50, over 5'8", 200+, D/D free, non-smoker, no feeders/inmate. Letter and photo a must. 26969 ❤ N Y—NYC - Voluptuous, buxom, 5'5", fit 20/22, unencumbered, passionate, over 50, witty, classy, financially independent, long ashblond hair, pretty, full lips, full heart, sensuous widow. You: S/D WM, 45-59, thick hair, clean shaven, over 5'8", average build, potent libido, financially secure, educated, non- or courteous smoker, light social drinker, kind, humorous, touchy/feely, liberal, tender, sincere, monogamous, for LTR of mutual spoiling and all NYC has to offer. Football fan a plus. Serious replies only. No marrieds, inmates, games! D/D free. Letters welcomed. - 26967 ❤ N Y—SWM, 39, 6', handsome, stable, emotionally and financially secure. ISO BBW, age open, pear shape preferred. Photo and letter from every place in the world welcome. - 26970 ❤ N Y—350+lbs of raging hormones stampeding your way. Just kidding! I'm blond/blue, respectable. feminine, supersize pear, educated, independent. ISO SWM, N/S, intelligent, patient, attentive. Must appreciate extremely plump legs. - 26937 ❤ N Y—The colonization of Earth has begun!!! All aspiring cadets must rendezvous at the space academy located in the Parsippany Hilton for a weekend of holiday maneuvers. Mission date: Friday, November 13, 1998 thru Sunday, November 15, 1998. Establish contact with our earth liaison The New Jersey Chapter of NAAFA at (973) 927-3103 for further instructions. ❤ N Y—53 year old SWF seeks honest SWM who is 53-63, caring and kind, marriage-minded, understanding, with a sense of humor. Se-

MAKE A DATE WITH DIMENSIONS PERSONALS

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rious replies only. No vices. - 26982 ❤ NY—Dull, boring, inhibited, totally gross single man whose looks depend on your charity. Uneducated, low vision, lackluster personality, wishes to meet a lady who demands perfection for uneventful dates. Yesterday my bird died. I sat on it. Lucky bird. I wish I were a bird. Can you help? My touched-up photo displayed. - 26944 ❤ N Y—Here's hoping you are the woman I seek... I am a SBM who longs for a passionate, jovial, caring, people-oriented woman. Please send letter. - 26833 ❤ (continued page 58)

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(continued from page 17) would find them attractive, and some have admitted to me that they find themselves unattractive. I’ve known big men who are never without a date. Those men exude self confidence and self esteem. That’s not something anyone can give you; you must find it within yourself. It’s hard in a society that bombards us with images of rock-hard, muscle bound jocks as heroes, and fat men as comedians. While no one can instill self esteem into anyone else, FAs (male and female) can help by both admitting their preferences, and by being willing to discuss and hopefully enlighten anyone who cannot understand these preferences. By not doing this, you are hurting the very people you admire. After all, if you’re ashamed or embarrassed to admit this preference, aren’t you then confirming that there is something wrong with it? Usually, once I’ve established that I am genuinely attracted to big men, and not just settling, the next thing I am asked is “why?” Many women tell me “there’s more to love,” or “they’re just like big, cuddly teddy bears,” and so on. I agree, but I go far beyond that. I am sexually attracted to big men. I am a genuine fat admirer. I am attracted to the same things as male FAs: cellulite, rolls, double chins, round faces, huge bellies, etc. I am attracted to the way fat moves; how it jiggles and sways. I am attracted to fat people’ mannerisms; the way they walk and how their bodies move. I am turned on when I see a man with a huge stomach using his belly to rest his folded hands, for example. I am also turned on by other themes and fantasies familiar to my fellow FAs, like outgrown clothing and progressive weight gain. So to say that I merely prefer big men is not enough. My sexuality is identified with my preference. Several years ago, I had an idea to create a magazine for big men. I thought it wasn’t fair that there were magazines for big women, but none for big men. I am now working on making this dream a reality. I have a small team of dedicated people who believe in the good we can do to help big men and their admirers. Like a GQ for big men, (and when I say big men, I don’t mean big, tall muscle jocks, either)—BHM’s (Big Handsome Men) goal is to empower and glorify its readers. I am also involved in a survey of FFAs. With me on both projects is William Fabrey who founded NAAFA in 1969. Both projects will be beneficial to big men, their admirers, and to size acceptance in general.

In the long run, I hope that between us all we will help a lot of people. All people are beautiful in their own way, but for those of us who genuinely prefer fat partners, nothing is more painful than knowing how many big people are left to feel unattractive and undesirable. I have also experienced discrimination based on my size. In the entertainment field as well as in modeling, for example, I’ve been denied opportunities because they considered me too big. In the FA world, I’ve been considered too small! I know how it feels, but I carved my own niche. I like being who I am and I like my size. Have you heard of the “magic pill?” Many people of size say that if there was a pill that would make them thin and allow them to eat “normally,” they would take it. Some wouldn’t because they worked too hard to gain personal acceptance. I personally would never consider it because I like being fat! Even beyond knowing that there are men out there who would find me attractive, ultimately, I must be happy in my own body. At my lowest adult weight of 165lbs. I was considered “on the heavy side” and denied jobs, much less now, over 200lbs. My DNA says that I am a big woman, and I am quite happy with Mother Nature’s design. When I meet or communicate with a big man who hates himself, it breaks my heart because big men are the most attractive and desirable men on the planet to me. But, it’s hard to admire someone who doesn’t like themselves. It’s hard to deal with paying someone a compliment and being told that you’re just being nice. I hope that someday, all people will learn to feel good about the body that they were given, and I hope that in my small way, I can help that happen. Size acceptance has made progress, and I hope that as we enter a new century and a new age, that we will progress to the point that all people have the same rights, regardless of any physical factors or circumstances. They say, there’s someone for everyone, but society doesn’t want to extend this to FA’s and the people we admire. I want to thank Dimensions for this opportunity to share my thoughts with its readers and also for the introduction of a board for big men and their admirers on the Dimensions Online website. I invite you all to write to me regarding anything I’ve written. Email: [email protected] or [email protected] or by snail-mail: Ginger 81-12 Roosevelt Ave. #509 Jackson Heights, NY 11372 ❧

Books! Women En Large - Images of Fat Nudes Over 40 black and white photographs celebrate the beauty of women all sizes of large, and the text discusses the models’ personal experiences, expresses the diversity, beauty, health, and happiness of fat women. Item #757 - Price: $24.95 Real Women Don’t Diet! Ken Mayer A powerful affirmation of the beauty, desirability, and sexiness of fat women. Item #744 - Price: $18.95 Botero Werner Spier Vast and varied representations of Botero's oils, watercolors, pastels, etchings, and chalks make this a wonderful coffee table book. Item #862 - Price: $29.95 The Body Image Workbook Thomas Cash, Ph.D. An eight-step program to help the reader move from negative assumptions about appearance to a more positive body image. Item #863 - Price: $17.95 Grand Touch Massage Video Joan Feusner, MA, OT and Sherry Collins-Eckert The first how-to massage video to feature a supersize woman. Item #771 - Price: $29.95 Losing It America's Obsession with Weight and the Diet Industry that Feeds It Laura Fraser A meticulous investigation of the science and economics driving the diet industry. Item #765 - Price: $24.95 Buttons: Large & In Charge Woman of Substance Fat by Nature/Proud of Choice Don’t Weigh Your Self-Esteem Price: $2.00 each or 3 for $5.00 Note cards by David Lee Five fat-positive notecards are reproductions of David Lee's paintings, which depict large women and their admirers. Item #861 - Price: $12.00 Add 15% for shipping and handling (min. $3.00) CA residents add 7-3/4% sales tax

Payment method:

❑ Visa ❑ MasterCard ❑ Check/Money Order

Card # ___________________Exp. Date ____ Name as on card ________________________ Signature______________________________ M ail to: NAAFA/DIM Book Service Box 188620 • Sacramento, CA 95818 Name__________________________ Address ________________________ City/State/Zip ___________________ Dimensions

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(continued from page 57) N Y—I love a woman with an extra generous dose of thunder thighs! SPBM, 30's, college educated, 5'10", 275lbs, 20" biceps. ISO an attractive very pear or hour-glass shape BBW, 25-38 with extremely heavy legs & calves. Letter, photo, OK I'LL give same. - 26879 ❤ N Y—I'm SWM, 39, 6'1", 185lbs, educated with Masters Degree, Handsome (some have told me), polite, gentle, sense of humor, international traveler. ISO one sweet woman. 26950 ❤ N Y—Romantic, professional, financially secure SWM, 5'10", blue eyes, blond hair, appealing voice, nonsmoker, always in good mood, would love to meet a BBW who is bottom-heavy, loyal, attractive, and charming, who likes romance, beautiful lingerie, candlelight dinners, red roses, and to whom love is a beautiful, continuous feeling toward her man, growing stronger with each passing day in lifelong togetherness with him, who likes home life, hugs, cuddling, long rides in the country, sunsets. Letters OK with full-length photo. - 26863 ❤ N Y—S/W/M educated, financially secure, sensual, attentive, passionate, very submissive, seeks loving, caring, strong minded, very

domineering lady to love, pamper, cherish, adore and obey for a lifetime. Northeast area. - 26948 ❤ N Y—SBM wants very much to please the Rubenesque woman who responds to this ad. I have varied interests. Please write me. - 26809 ❤ N Y—”A celebration of size:” All out! Fall out! Weekend sponsored by the New England Chapter of NAAFA will be held at the Westborough, Massachusetts’ Marriott, Nov. 6-8, 1998. Call 781-986-2232. ❤ N Y—SWM with a good heart, 44, 5'11", salt and pepper, brown eyes. Handsome and fit. Has great passion for very tall ladies (6'2" and up). For friendship and more. Photo appreciated. Will respond to all. Out of state ok. 26857 ❤ N Y—SWM, 30's, 165, romantic, creative, bright, funny, handsome(In a Miles Silverberg/Jim Morrison way). Loves history, politics, TV, films, and travel. Successful career. I'm a responsible rebel looking for a LTR. ISO BBW in Albany, NY area or someone easily relocatable, pretty, fun loving, sexy and smart. Under 5'6", under 30, and over 300lbs. - 26915 ❤ O H—I've been searching most of my life for a special lady who's 25-40, honest, sensitive, kindhearted and quite heavy, especially below the waist. I'm WM, 38, 6'1", 185 lbs., lean, construction electrician, part-time dad, open minded, with a good heart. - 26883 ❤

O H—Sexy, light-complexioned SBF, 29, 5'8", 300 lbs., size 22/24, buxom 42DD (42-46-61), hourglass figure, shoulder-length dark brown hair, light brown eyes, ND/NS, never married, no children. Enjoys 50s/60s, radio, Broadway theatre, and British programming. ISO SWM, 3050 in Ohio area only for casual dating and intimate evenings. Similar interests a must. All detailed letters with photo will be answered. No inmates. - 26973 ❤ O H—Attractive, educated SWM, civil service professional, non-smoking, 43, 230 lbs. (heavy build), Catholic, considerate, affectionate, lonely. Sincere and reserved, valuing self-reliance and upward mobility without being overly pretentious. Co-operatively shares suburban residence with parents. Enjoys: the great outdoors (swimming, biking, long walks); travel (historic places, exotic locales), cultural offerings (movies, dining out, classical/soft rock music), and domestic pursuits/hobbies (politics, reading, TV, flea markets, military relics, cats, and— yes—even shopping!). ISO attractive SWF, 2736, no taller than 5'7", voluptuous with hourglass figure, weighing from 175 to 250 lbs., Catholic and childless, someone who is marriage-minded. photo and letter, please. - 26836 ❤ O H—I've been searching most of my life for a special lady who's 25-40, honest, sensitive, kindhearted and quite heavy, especially below the waist. I'm WM, 38, 6'1", 185 lbs., construction electrician, part-time dad. - 26883

ARealFG Presents SUPERSIZE non pornographic videos of 500+ pound models Visit our web page at http://www.arealfg.com A Day With ARealFG Spend a day with me, from waking up to going to sleep. Watch me eat three full meals and a whole cheesecake for dessert I walk a little, and playfully move and massage my ample breasts, and soft, round belly. (VHS, contains nudity, running time: 60 mins)

ARealFG 821 lbs.

Mark’s Scrapbook If you are looking for the ultimate weight gain pictorial, this is it, a video ‘slide show’ of 200 pictures taken during my massive weight gain. Watch me grow from 450 to over 750 pounds. (VHS, contains nudity, running time: 57 mins)

Tricia 518 lbs.

Wench 509 lbs.

Tantalizing Tricia Watch Tricia celebrate her body. She dances, stretches and struts her stuff in a daring lingerie show. Then she rewards herself with a wonderful, filling food feast. She checks up on her progress by getting weighed and measured right in front of your eyes

To Order: Indicate title(s). Select format (NTSC is normal) Select packaging (plain white tape mailer box is normal) Select shipping (1st class, express, or foreign) Include Tax if applicable, Total order. Include name and shipping address (Country). Send cash, MO, or check (U.S. dollars) payable to: M.Varney, P.O. Box. 21615 El Cajon, California. 92021 USA Allow 2wks cash/money order, 4wks checks, 8wks foreign. Signature certifying 18 years of age required with order

Prices A Day With ARealFG ........................$37.00 Mark’s Scrapbook Starring ARealFG $37.00 ARealFG’s Last Stand If you want MORE- More JIGGLE- more WIGGLE, then this video Wench’s Weekend ............................$37.00 is for you. Gina at her BIGGEST. ARealFG's Last Stand is the epitTantalizing Tricia, starring Tricia ..........$37.00 ome of what you are looking for when you want to see a SUPERSIZED gal in all her glory. As an added bonus, you can see her A RealFG’s Last Stand ......................$37.00 (VHS, contains nudity, running time: 58 mins)

measure and weigh just for you.

(VHS, contains nudity, running time: 58 mins)

Wench’s Weekend It’s vacation time. Wench goes to play in the sun and have some fun. Watch her frolic in the pool, play and picnic on the beach, and enjoy a fragrant and luxurious bubble bath. Join her in the motel room later as she relaxes. You can be there! (VHS, contains nudity, running time: 59 mins)

Teighlor 550 lbs.

Teighlor: Nice ‘n Naughty NEW! Supersized supermodel Teighlor shows you her stunning 550 pounds of flabulously feminine flesh! Teighlor does the kind of video her fans have been asking for. Lots of shocking surprises, too - so don't miss the fun! This is her most daring video since her XXX days and definitely our naughtiest video to date! (contains nudity, running time: 59 mins)

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PAL format (foreign).....add $10.00 per tape Discreet Packaging ......................add $2.00 Shipping (see below) .............................. California Residents 8.25% TAX .............. Total Shipping U.S. First Class ................................................$3.00 Express (U.S. orders only) ..............................$15.00 Foreign ..........................................................$12.00

PA -- Explore the final frontier with the New Jersey Chapter of NAAFA as we "COME BACK TO THE FUTURE" to celebrate the holidays at the Parsippany Hilton. Star Date: Friday, November 13, 1998 thru Sunday, November 15, 1998. For further instructions contact the chapter at (973) 927-3103. • Make it so. O H—Loving, caring, successful entrepreneur, 32, 6'3", 210 lbs, SWM in need of ultra buxom lady (F-cup or larger). For committed relationship. You will be spoiled, loved, and pampered by passionate generous fellow. First class travel, luxurious living, fine dining, lavish vacations, shopping sprees, etc. with old fashioned caring gent. I require very feminine, affectionate lady who needs a compassionate first rate gentlemen! - 26880 ❤ O H—Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair! Prince Charming seeks lovely lady with luscious, luxurious, long locks for fairy tale romance. Age, weight, nationality not as important as living happily ever after. Letters & photo OK. - 26952 ❤ OR—Portland—Romantic Pisces man! 39, 6', 200#, green eyes, brown hair, easygoing personality, desires open-minded wife, 21100, BBW with loving Christian heart! Letter, photo for reply. - 26898 ❤ O R—Lollipop is looking for love! DWF, 28, 5'6", 450+lbs., likes homelife, movies, music, sensuality and surprises. You are: 20-40, honest, funny, smart, financially secure, mature but not old, able to handle the responsibilities that come with loving a supersized woman. - 26911 ❤ O R—68-56-68. 5'6", 42, SWF, pretty brunette, brimming with sensuality, curves, affection, laughter, romance, intelligence and honesty. Soft to your touch. Buxomy-handfuls. You: 5'10"+, sensuous, sexy, secure, honest, humorous, well endowed with personality, conversations, generous with caresses, massages and kisses. - 26870 ❤ P A—”A celebration of size:” All out! Fall out! Weekend sponsored by the New England Chapter of NAAFA will be held at the Westborough, Massachusetts’ Marriott, Nov. 6-8, 1998. Call 781-986-2232. ❤ P A—SBM, 29, looking for love! 260 lbs. I'm fun, nice, sexy, caring, outgoing. I love kisses, hugs, long backrubs, shopping, quiet dinners, beaches. I'm also a chef and bartender. I sleep in Philadelphia. Looking to meet a SWF, anybody, race open, size and age is open too. I love you. Send photo and letter. - 26966 ❤ P A—Wholesome, traditional, childless DWF, 49, N/S, 5'4" size 18. My family says it can't be done, that I won't find the type of nice-looking, N/S, highquality man I want. Help me prove them wrong! Classical music, oldies, playing piano, singing, cooking, gardening, redecorating, reading, taking walks. Your letter with picture could make two people happy. - 26908 ❤

P A—Financially independent man, curly black hair, blue eyes, 6'2", 200 lbs., single, 35, uncut, marriage-minded, like garter belts, hose, heels. Let's correspond. - 26810 ❤ PA—Giant Teddy Bear, SWM, 40, quiet and funny. Seeking buxom lady bear, 28-40, for friendship and future cave mate. Philadelphia area. Letter/photo. - 26811 ❤ P A—This easy-going 50 yr. old guy would like to meet a 400 lb lady for friendship. Letters OK. I will answer ALL. - 26957 ❤ RI—This easy-going 50 yr. old guy would like to meet a 400 lb lady for friendship. Letters OK. I will answer ALL. - 26957 ❤ R I—”A celebration of size:” All out! Fall out! Weekend sponsored by the New England Chapter of NAAFA will be held at the Westborough, Massachusetts’ Marriott, Nov. 6-8, 1998. Call 781-986-2232. ❤ South FL—WM, 5'7", 170 lbs, 40', good looking, professional. ISO sexy, open-minded, fullfigured female for friendship & relationship. Race, age and looks unimportant but nice to be with. - 26907 ❤ T N—How do you like? This ample abundance of softness, 44 y/o, 5'10", DB BBW ISO one special FA who's ready for a monogamous relationship. He must appreciate ALL of what is ME. Serious replies only. No games please. All replies gladly answered. Be uninhibited, open minded, fun loving, free; I am. - 26899 ❤ T N—Nashville SWM, 41, 5'9", dark/blue, decent build, NS, seeks super BBW for monogamous relationship. Please be over 350 lbs. and well proportioned. I like movies, romance, lingerie, and giving flowers. - 26934 ❤ T X—SWF, 36, 5'6", 250, attractive, buxom, sincere, caring, feminine, educated, professional. Desires single/divorced gentleman with honesty, intelligence, and a good sense of humor. A true FA makes me very affectionate. I'm open to commitment and relocation. Your letter with photo gets mine. - 26968 ❤ TX—Black professional, 40, no children, never married, humorous, outgoing and honest wishes to correspond with interested Texas WF seeking a lasting relationship leading t marriage. Please call or write. - 26817 ❤ T X—Cute, cuddly, 40something, white male looking for big beautiful babe who's open minded, has good sense of humor. I am into music, movies, sports. I am there to make you laugh and will be there if you need to cry. Photo/phone please, but all answered. - 26889 ❤ T X—DBBBW retired nurse seeking life loving, laugh loving. Financially secure slim white male NS/ND age unimportant. Letters OK with your photo. NO inmates. - 26881 ❤ U S A—A dominating, loving gentleman seeks a submissive, caring lady as his special someone. I'm 5'9", 155lbs, 40's with small body frame, medium skin tone, and great inner strength. You can be any looks, age, height, or weight with pear shape, fair complexion, and soft patience. We both are honest, sincere,

playful, true, affectionate, passionate, faithful, adventurous. I will treat you to your heart's desire. Photo and phone appreciated but not required. Write soon. I am waiting for you. - 26945 ❤ U T—SWM, 43, 6', 180 lbs., intelligent, attractive, and absurd, given to shyness and walking into street poles when buxom, Rubenesque women pass me by. I'm down to earth, stable, kind, a good friend, very romantic with the right woman. Are you kind, caring, affectionate, 2847, and could you wear a tie horizontally? ....CLONG!!!... Do you live in a city without street poles? Letter and photo appreciated, bandages optional. - 26971 ❤ U T—DWM, 43, 5'11", 180lbs, software engineer, home owner, three children, one living at home, seeking intelligent BBW, 30-50, for LTR. NS/Social drinker. I enjoy intelligent conversation, walks, going out, movies, staying in, cuddling, cooking, travel and gardening. I love music from Glenn Miller to Nine Inch Nails, The Doors to Vanessa Daou. Very big Swing Out Sister fan. I have a dry sense of humor (A Fish Called Wanda, Black Adder). I would enjoy receiving the occasional spanking provided of course that you are enjoying spanking me. Letter and photo appreciated. Will answer all. - 26954 ❤ V A—DWF, 45, 1X-2X BBW. Compassionate, curious and versatile. Most comfortable in jeans to formal life-style. Seldom meets local S/DWM FA's of similar description/interests. Follow your heart... don't let VA conservatism and status quo attitudes keep you from your dream! - 26930 ❤ V A—WM, 5'7", 180 lbs., 43, good looking. ISO attractive full-figured female, 30-45. I like movies, classic music. Letter/photo please. - 26835 ❤ W A—Seattle area DWM, 44, no kids, brown hair going gray, fit, very handsome, 5'8", 165 lbs. Varied interests—skiing, mt. biking, rollerblading & lots of indoor stuff too. I'm looking for a Rubenesque, voluptuous BBW for a possible LTR. I travel to both Portland, OR & Vancouver B.C. Call or write me, photo appreciated. N/S, N/Drugs, LT/drinking ok. - 26910 ❤ WI—Brand new to the world of FAs and curious—are you really out there? SWF, mid-30s, 5'8", 400 lbs., proportionate. Intelligent, spontaneous, quick-witted, imaginative, sometimes cynical. In the process of building a modest empire. Enjoying being a workaholic, but looking for someone to make my precious time off memorable! Seeks confident, emotionally mature sparring partner with a sense of humor and an appreciation of the bizarre. I'm tired of pregnant pauses, disappointments, and having to explain big words. Willing to champion your gender? Am looking for a gentleman who can accept the way that I am. Correspondence as a starting point. If you are the right man, we could have an amazing adventure together! 26837 ❤❤❤ [F o r in s tr uc ti ons o n ho w to re ply to an ad via pho n e o r le t ter, or how to p lace your own ad, s ee page 9 ]

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P H O T O & V IVD E O B A Z BA A R All New... from Russo Productions

Right to Fight

Our ever popular Bella in her new video tantalizes you with her bellydancing delights. See more of the darling Bella than ever before in her lingerie, bikini, and bubble bath. 60 minutes - set to music, lite nudity $39.95 Each Check/M.O./VISA/MC + $3.00 S&H US, or $6.00 S&H foreign

For order form and sample photo send LSASE to address below:

Russo Productions

English Plumpers

...carrying a fine line of professional videos and photography of the most exquisite fat women! for order form and sample photo send LSASE to:

Russo Productions • P.O. Box 2282 • Del Mar, CA 92014 or email: [email protected]

Credit card orders call: 760-918-0909 Mon-Sat, 9am-6pm PST

A small company doing BIG things (See our accompanying ads in Dimensions Marketplace, Page 51)

MEASURE for MEASURE, HOURGLASS or PEARSHAPE, WE HAVE the CHOICEST MODELS! A–Ambrosia: 5’6”, 82-69-83, 580 lbs I H F B–Butterscotch: 5’6”, 63-48-61, 295 lbs. C–Char Donai: 5’5”, 44-36-60, 256 lbs. D–Mercedes: 5’1”, 60-38-62, 300 lbs. E–Nancy: 5’4”, 53-56-75, 350 lbs. F: Norma: 5’7”, 78-48-52, 345 lbs. G: Teighlor: 5’6”, 65-56-87, 512 lbs.

G A

B

H: Weight Wench: 5’6”, 70-70-75, 509 lbs. I: Lollipop: 5’6”, 65-72-76, 489 lbs.

C

D

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DIMENSIONS ONLINE I Saw Your Picture on the Web... That’s what a message in my guestbook (a page where guests to my web site can leave comments) stated in reply to a photo I had on my personal web page (http://www.geocities.com/ ~bbwqt) of myself in a (gasp!) bikini. My first reaction was, “Oh crap! I better take that picture down before someone else I know sees it!” The above-mentioned guestbook entry was from a friend’s mother who just recently got on the internet. The more I thought about it though, I decided to leave it where it was. Many of my fellow BBW sisters have placed risque or sexy pictures of themselves up on their personal home pages. Is this okay as long as no one outside of the large-size community sees them? Do they give out their home page addresses to their immediate family and close friends? I have several pictures of myself in the above-mentioned bikini, but I haven’t put them up on my own page because I didn’t want my Mom to see them (I sort of snuck that one photo in at the bottom of one of my pages, thinking no one would find it). I recently found out that she has viewed my home page before and I was afraid she might “have a cow” if she saw me showing so much skin. Especially since she is one of those fat women who are on a perpetual diet. Another thing that kind of bothered me was that we used to work at the same place (she still works there) and have a lot of mutual friends. They are the ones who showed her my page on the computer at work. I’m not sure which made me feel more self conscious, her seeing that photo or they. Probably her. Why do I feel this way? Do other people feel the same, or are they braver than I? Is it harder to accept your size or love yourself when around family or close friends not involved in the size movement? My entire family and all of my good friends know that I work for Dimensions Online

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DANI OSBORNE (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com), and what Dimensions magazine is. They know what NAAFA stands for and that I am a member, as well as NAAFA Online’s http://www.naafa.org) webmistress. So it’s not like they don’t know my feelings on the subject of fat people, and my belief that fat women should not hide their bodies but should celebrate the beauty they possess. Why then am I so afraid that my Mom will see those pictures? Possibly it could be the fact that my Mom always told me that fat was bad, and she was always trying to get me to go on a diet. She has battled with her own weight for most of her adult life, she just cannot accept the fact that I am fat and I don’t try to hide or shrink myself anymore. I guess, deep down inside, I still care what she thinks about my looks and still want her ap-

t long last, Dimensions Online has its own Web domain. The familiar “pencomputing.com/dim” will still work for a while, but the best and most direct way to get to the Dimensions Online website is by typing http://dimensionsmagazine.com. The site con62 August 1998 Dimensions tinues to grow and we now have an average of 3,000

proval. My husband and I just got back from visiting her, we live about 900 miles away so we don’t get to see each other very often. Her first words to me after not seeing me for over a year were, “You’ve put on weight.” Not “I’ve missed you,” or “You look happy.” My weight seemed to be the most important thing on her mind. My husband is in the military and he is going to Honduras for 12 months. I will be staying with my mom while he is away. I work at home so she will probably be seeing quite a bit of fat-related literature, websites, and pictures that she normally would not be exposed to. Maybe this will help change her attitude about herself, her body, and other fat people. Who knows, it MIGHT just work! Even though I still feel a little awkward about her seeing that photo, I’m not going to take it down. It is my test for me, to show myself that I can overcome the ingrained fear of my mother disapproving of me. Will I ever lose this insecurity when it comes to dealing with her, or with her seeing something akin to that dreaded photo? Probably not, but that’s okay. I know that she still loves me no matter what. She may disapprove of some of the things I do, but hey, she’s a mom. That’s just something they do, regardless of the subject at hand. Got to love ‘em. See you next time or on the web! ❧ [email protected]

visits to the entrance page alone. We’re told that, in terms of traffic, we’re in the top 5% sites of all websites. We’ve moved the whole site to our very own server, which means that we’ll have plenty of room for expansion, and the bulletin boards are a lot faster. If you haven’t been to Dimensions Online, go for it! ✍

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