My father was the best example of humility I have ever known. I would not ...
Recently I read How Starbucks Saved My Life: A Son of Privilege Learns to Live
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Charting your Course for a Purposeful Life Volume V, Number 4 Winter, 2008
Humility, Acceptance and Respect Humility It is impressive, as well as refreshing, when a wealthy person exemplifies humility. Most assume that the wealthy are not obliged to display this quiet trait, and unfortunately, many do not. Most people who do not have financial wealth know they need to be humble, or at least they need to pretend to be in order to get along well in the world. It is noticeable when a wealthy individual genuinely possesses this quality, and the resulting example to the rest of us has even greater impact. My father was the best example of humility I have ever known. I would not have used this word to describe him when I was a child because I just didn’t have the perspective. However, the quality was there. Every weekday when he dressed for work in a clean and pressed suit, no designer labels, but always nicely tailored, he was making a statement about his responsibilities, his appreciation of all of his associates. He saw himself as serving others. This was his attitude about his leadership role. He also taught me that dressing nicely shows respect for all of the people one works with, both staff and customers. My father has been gone for twenty years, and though I was only vaguely aware of his attitudes before his death, they are timeless and I now view them among his many gifts to me. If our most important values are sacrifice and service, then humility follows. Often, in families different generations grow up in completely different circumstances. And because of this, impasses and walls can build up. We can all improve our communication with family members, even in relationships that are already good. Creating and strengthening pathways often demands that we are ready to work. We can look at relationships and events from the point of view of someone of an older or younger generation, and we can stretch to glimpse another’s point of view. As communication improves, empathy, humility and acceptance increase. Acceptance of all circumstances with grace Many people fight their circumstances. They develop the attitude of entitlement, thinking that they have access to certain items and places just because of who their family is or how much money they have. Then, they get stuck in the attitude of entitlement. I fell into this trap as well years ago. I thought things had to be a certain way or life was absolutely not okay. Life dealt me circumstances that brought me to my knees though, and I learned that ironically, giving up that rigid attitude in which everything I did and everything I had had to be the best, worked much better than my previous attitude of entitlement. This life lesson in acceptance was one of my greatest blessings and it has helped me understand the attitudes of sacrifice and service.
Recently I read How Starbucks Saved My Life: A Son of Privilege Learns to Live Like Everyone Else by Michael Gates Gill. It is a wonderful description of the journey from entitlement to acceptance of all circumstances with grace. One of the core problems with the attitude of entitlement is how limiting it is, but the irony of this fact is rarely appreciated. In designating only the best and most privileged as good enough, most of life’s rich experiences are off limits. This is easiest to acknowledge in retrospect. It also sheds light on how many inheritors, insulated from making their own way in life, and thinking only the best is good enough for them, lack maturity or mature late. Respecting the rules Once again, it is remarkable when a wealthy person respects the rules alongside others in the community. One day I drove to my children’s school to meet one of them in front. It was noon, and as I waited in the fire lane, which had a red stripe along the curb, I saw another mom drive up in a very expensive car. She pulled up in the fire lane in front of me, got out of her car and strolled leisurely into the administration office. I thought it was a bit brazen, but then how often do fire trucks actually come and I was sure she would be back soon. But she wasn’t right back. I waited for fifteen more minutes for my son, and by the time I said goodbye to him, she was still nowhere to be seen. A small thing, maybe, but what kind of example is she setting? The rules are for others? Is that what she wants to teach her children? On the other hand, if she were careful to respect the rules, her behavior could be a powerful example to her children and others. I suppose as it turned out, it was a powerful example: a powerfully bad example. The impressive, notable qualities of humility, acceptance and respect are high road behaviors we can all aspire to. Our time here on earth is precious. The effort to do our best is time consuming and calls on each of us to dig deep for strength. The Greek philosopher Plato, in exploring human nature over 2,000 years ago, identified virtuous behaviors as the road to happiness. Many people don’t realize or forget the importance of pursuing a life of virtue. Regarding virtue and happiness, one’s financial status has no bearing on how this works. If anything, the assumption that financial wealth gives one a pass to “skate,” is a dead end. Since most of us prioritize happiness high among our goals, humility, acceptance and respect are worthy pursuits. This Christmas, during the holidays, opportunities for these worthy pursuits with family and friends abound. We are pleased to announce that The Navigator newsletter will soon be available in an electronic format. Starting in the Spring of 2009 you will have the option of receiving the newsletter via email or mail. Please confirm your address and indicate your preference on the enclosed postcard. We appreciate you returning the postcard to us. Thank you! © Thayer Cheatham Willis. All Rights Reserved.
