Inked discussion guide.pdf - Ministry Matters

GROUP DISCUSSION GUIDE BY JESSICA MILLER KELLEY COPYRIGHT © 2013 ABINGDON PRESS

to the discussion leader It is estimated that one quarter of Americans between ages eighteen and fifty have tattoos. These chosen, indelible markings can signify a rebellious stage, a philosophy to live by, a memorial, or an expression of love and commitment. Inked, by therapists Kim Goad and Janet Bostwick Kusiak, uses the stories and language of tattoo culture to explore the ways we’ve all been marked—for good or bad—by life, and how we can choose the work of the ultimate Artist to heal our past wounds and cover our scars with life-giving love. Inked is an engaging and relatable read, even for those who haven’t literally sat in the tattoo artist’s chair themselves, and will prompt deep, authentic discussion among those who read it together. Use this study guide to bring together people on the margins of your church, for whom traditional Bible studies might be a little too stodgy or inaccessible.

Some tips for forming and leading your group: • Be intentional about inviting people who haven’t plugged in to other small group ministries of your church. Some people won’t respond to an open announcement about a new group forming, but will respond when asked personally to be part of something. Getting in on the “ground floor” of anything is easier for new people than joining an existing group, and they may be more willing to invite friends as well. • Consider meeting off-site, away from the church, to keep the gathering casual and accessible. Someone’s home, a coffeehouse, or even a bar would make an ideal setting for this discussion group. • Ask open-ended questions and listen without judgment. Discussing our lives’ most significant moments and formative experiences is bound to bring up some uncomfortable subjects. Affirm participants’ willingness to share openly with the group, and be willing to be vulnerable yourself. Some stories are more dramatic than others, but everyone’s experiences matter and add value to the conversation. • Allow 60-90 minutes for each of the ten sessions (intro, eight chapters, and conclusion). Encourage socializing before and after each session, but use your best judgment when it comes to “rabbit trails” during the discussion. Sometimes conversations take an unexpected turn that can be meaningful to everyone, but sometimes going off-topic detracts from the overall theme of the session.

COPYRIGHT © 2013 ABINGDON PRESS

WORDS BECOME FLESH The Word became flesh. —John 1:14 (CEB)

Chapter Summary An estimated 45 million Americans have endured the pain of marking their bodies in order to tell us something of their stories. And although the other 268 million may not have their skin permanently inked, the truth is, we’ve all been marked by pain. Whether you’ve literally etched signs of the pain you’ve experienced on your skin, or whether your scars are invisible to everyone but God, you have the power to choose life and hope over pain and regret.

Discussion Questions 1.

Do you have any tattoos? If so, what are the stories behind them? If not, what tattoo would you consider getting, and why?

2.

What experiences have indelibly marked your life? Has your perspective on those experiences changed over time? What caused that change?

3.

How would you feel if, like many prisoners in the Holocaust, you were tattooed against your will? After your release, would you have it removed, covered or adapted, or leave it alone?

4.

The authors emphasize the power to choose our own attitudes and responses to what happens to us. Do you believe what Viktor Frankl said?: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

5.

Early Christians, many of whom were Jewish, debated the importance of cir- cumcision (a sign of Jews’ covenant with God) for non-Jewish converts to Christianity. Paul said that a changed heart was more important than an external marking. What would this changed heart look like for you? What would it mean for God to invisibly—but permanently—mark your heart?


showcases: choosing your artist

They are . . . the work of my hands, for the display of my splendor. —Isaiah 60:21 (NIV)

Chapter Summary Major League Baseball star Josh Hamilton’s body is covered in tattoos, reflecting different phases of his life. During his years of drug abuse and despair, he became a showcase for an artist who tattooed him with demons and other dark art. But after hitting rock bottom and experiencing physical and spiritual healing, he now has the face of Jesus superimposed over his demons, both on his skin and in his heart. The enemy will tell us we are weak, small, powerless against evil; but when we see ourselves as the lovingly-made artwork of God, our true identity emerges and we can do great things.


Do you believe in spiritual warfare, forces of good and evil battling for your soul? Have you experienced a battle like this? What was the outcome?

2.

What demons—literal or metaphorical—have marked your life? These could be in the form of addictions, abuse, depression, disappointment, or any type of ongoing struggle. What image of yourself do these demons try to showcase?

3.

What abilities do you have, and what accomplishments have you achieved? Share a few with the group. Are you able to see these things as the work of God’s showcase in your life?

4.

Read Psalm 139:13-14 and Ephesians 2:8-10. What do they tell you about who God created you to be?

5.

The authors tell how elephants raised in captivity, tethered by a heavy rope or chain, will assume they are powerless if tied up again later in life, even with a thin, weak rope. What negative experiences are so ingrained in you that they threaten to reemerge even after you’ve been set free?


flash

vs.

custom:

choosing the tattoo worthy

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. —Romans 12:2 (NIV)

Chapter Summary When bad things happen in life that are beyond our control, we may be tempted to follow a predictable path in response, accepting the bad lot we’ve been handed. But we can choose to change our perspective, and thus change the outcome. Don’t let unworthy thoughts imprint themselves on your mind, but choose something tattoo-worthy that will help you change things for the better.


Have you ever been presented with a difficult situation and chosen an unexpected or unpopular response? How did people around you react? Do you have any regrets about following your heart and charting your own path?

2.

How can positive thinking affect your situation? Have you experienced a time when your attitude or perspective affected the outcome, for better or for worse?

3.

Philippians 4:8 says, “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable . . . think about such things. And the God of peace will be with you.” What thoughts can you tattoo on your mind when you need peace or clarity in a difficult situation?

4.

The authors recommend three tactics to help focus your thoughts on the “pure” and “lovely.” Have you found any of these to be helpful? How?

5.

• Unplug from the senseless chatter of social media • Go outside to play and explore the natural world • Find something to make you laugh heartily

Bad experiences in the past can still be used for good. How could you use your negative experiences to help someone else?


scratcher tactics:

beware the hacker For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. —Ephesians 6:12 (NIV)

Chapter Summary A Scratcher is an unskilled tattoo “artist” who inflicts pain and some ugly markings with his primitive tools and tactics. There’s a spiritual Scratcher out there who, similarly, wants to scar us with his lies about God, ourselves, and the world around us. We can combat the Scratcher’s lies by learning God’s truth through Scripture and prayer. And even when we’ve been scratched and scarred, our true Artist is there to heal and cover our wounded past.


Have you ever known anyone tattooed by a Scratcher, in prison or some other setting? Why did they agree to it (or do it to themselves), and how did they feel about it in the months and years that followed?

2.

Have you been “scratched” with lies about your true identity and worth as a child of God? The authors mention labeling, overgeneralization, and disqualifying the positive as just a few of the tactics that cloud our view of the truth. What lies did you come to believe?

3.

Are there tattoo-worthy truths you remember when tempted to believe lies about yourself, God, and the world? What scriptures, images, or phrases do you bring to mind to combat these lies?

4.

What is the most dramatic transformation story you’ve ever heard? (A murderer becoming a missionary? A former Klan leader in an interracial marriage?) What lessons can these extreme examples teach us about transforming our own scars into signs of hope?

5.

Picture a tattoo that represents the lies you’ve believed, and then picture a tattoo that could cover or adapt that regrettable mark. What does the new picture look like, with God’s truth applied over the earlier scar? COPYRIGHT © 2013 ABINGDON PRESS

B-Backs and wrastlers:

getting (and staying) in the chair Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome. —Genesis 32:28 (NIV)

Chapter Summary Even after we’ve decided to get that tattoo or submit to God’s will for our lives—it can be hard to actually get in the chair and stay there to endure the ongoing struggle (and yes, pain) that it takes to be permanently marked by the Artist. Jacob was a man on the run when he ended up in a wrestling match with God, and though they both knew God could easily win the match, they continued the struggle until Jacob received a (painful) blessing. There is value in the struggle, and it is well worth the effort to find the blessing at the end.


What’s something you’ve claimed to want (weight loss, a better job, a tattoo in a very tender spot) but haven’t quite worked up the determination to do?

2.

Developing a vision of what you want and holding that vision in your mind is one way to motivate yourself to do the necessary work to make it happen. What do you visualize when you think of your desired future?

3.

Jacob was renamed Israel, “one who wrestles with God,” and Jacob’s descen dants would also be called Israel. What would it mean to you if your name and identity were centered on the notion of struggling with God? In what ways do you struggle with God?

4.

Large, complex tattoos often require multiple sessions, spread out over weeks or months, and require a lot of willpower to complete. What work is your Artist doing in you that is taking many smaller lessons over a long period of time? What progress have you seen so far, and what do you suspect the end result will look like?

5.

Sometimes wrestling with God and people can make you want to give up. Have you ever “gotten out of the chair,” spiritually? What made you come back?


kickin’ it into third: achieving the desired result

Rejoice always. Pray continually. Give thanks in every situation because this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. —1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (CEB)

Chapter Summary We’ve talked a lot about scars and struggles so far—but what about ordinary life? What about the simple stress of our daily activities and responsibilities? It is during those times when we can grow numb to God and forget the lessons and truths we’ve learned through life’s more dramatic and painful moments. Like scar tissue that covers an old wound, or thick skin we build up as protection in tough times, life on autopilot can be harder to penetrate with the truth of God.


What elements of daily life make it harder to hear God speaking? What voices are you hearing instead?

2.

To penetrate thick skin and persevere in faith, the authors emphasize Paul’s words in 1 Thessalonians: be joyful always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances. Which of these three is hardest for you?

3.

How is joy different from happiness? What makes you joyful, even when life isn’t perfect?

4.

What do you believe is the purpose of prayer? Do you find it difficult to pray sometimes? Why or why not? What would it mean to pray “continually”?

5.

Do you consider yourself an optimist or a pessimist? Does gratitude come natu- rally to you, even when you are experiencing difficult times? Share five things you are thankful for with the group (and try to think of five things every day, no matter what your circumstances).


the look:

seeing your tattoo for the first time By the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. —1 Corinthians 15:10 (NIV)

Chapter Summary We all tend to be our own worst critics, noticing flaws that others never would, and comparing ourselves unfavorably to others. This toxic kind of thinking isn’t healthy or helpful, and insults the careful work of the Artist who created us. We shouldn’t let these damaging voices imprint themselves on our minds, but rather let the Artist examine and remove the faulty marks and reink the truth in their place.


What characteristic of your body or personality do you tend to be most critical or ashamed of? How do others tend to respond if you point it out to them?

2.

Has anyone ever spewed toxic ink at you in the form of harsh criticism or unfair labeling? How did these words affect the way you viewed yourself and treated yourself in the months and years that followed?

3.

How can you tell the difference between fair, constructive criticism (from your own voice or others’) and toxic ink that must be revealed for the poison it is? How do you ensure your expectations of yourself and others are realistic?

4.

How can we “rub out” and reink the places where we’ve been marked by toxic ink? What do you need to replace those harmful words and views with?

5.

What people in your life affirm you and echo God’s loving words toward you? How can you invest more in those relationships, and minimize the influence of those who spew toxic ink?


works in progress:

meeting others in the tattoo shop There’s no distinction. All have sinned and fall short of God’s glory. —Romans 3:22b-23 (CEB)

Chapter Summary Though we’re all works of the same Artist, we still have the tendency to judge one another and build unnecessary divisions among ourselves. Like the diverse mix of people you’ll meet in a tattoo shop—bikers, addicts, artsy folks, suburban moms, and rebellious teens—Jesus hung with all sorts of people, from corrupt tax collectors to violent revolutionaries to prostitutes and the mentally ill, and he prayed that we would all be one. But complete unity is much easier said than done.


Who do you tend to judge or stereotype? If your group has bonded over the course of the last seven sessions, consider confessing any preconceived notions you initially had about other members of the group.

2.

How do you feel about meeting new people? Are you able to strike up a conversation with just about anyone, or do you need to get to know someone better before opening up?

3.

Have you ever joined together with people very different from you to work for a common cause? How did it go?

4.

How do your expectations about someone’s character, intelligence, or behavior affect what you later observe about them? Whose life could you improve just by believing in them?

5.

The authors liken the filler ink between tattoos to forgiveness we extend to others. How can forgiveness bridge the gap between the ideal for a person or relationship and the imperfect reality?


reinking, coverups and goo:

care and maintenance of your new tattoo Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. —Philippians 3:12 (NIV)

Chapter Summary Even after the Artist has marked you with his true and beautiful design, you bear some of the responsibility for protecting and nurturing that holy design. Like bandages, moisturizing goo, and other treatments, we have tools like prayer, Scripture, and Jesus himself as defense and a healing balm against debris that would damage the work of our creator. Fear and regret threaten our design, but God’s grace can make even our imperfections into a masterpiece, a testimony of God’s glory.


Read Ephesians 6:10-18, about the “Armor of God.” What pieces of armor do you personally need most in order to protect the work God has done in you?

2.

When you do stumble in your relationship with your Artist, what serves as your balm or Tattoo Goo to help soothe the pain and heal that relationship?

3.

Regret, fear, and anxiety make us focus on the past and future, rather than on the present. What is distracting your focus from the work God wants to showcase in your life right now?

4.

When a tattoo needs touching up or multiple sessions to complete, it gets more painful to return, the longer you wait. Are there touchups the Artist needs to make on your design, or a completely new mark he needs to add? Do you ever drag your feet when you know God is calling you to something new?

5.

What design do you hope will be visible to your children, grandchildren, and the rest of the world when you reach the end of your life? What legacy will your life experience and faith leave behind?


indelible Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever! —Hebrews 13:8 (CEB)

Chapter Summary Examples abound in Scripture of both God being permanently, indelibly marked for us, and of faithful people being marked for God as a sign of their allegiance to him. But while that connection and commitment is permanent, most everything else in life can change—including us, thank God! Jesus made an everlasting sacrifice so that we could turn things around and become new creations.


Very little in life is permanent. Name the truths that you can count on to remain, no matter what.

2.

What has been lost or destroyed in your life that you thought (or hoped) would be permanent?

3.

How have you seen God making a new creation out of that situation? If you haven’t seen God working in it yet, do you feel confident that God will really make “all things new”?

4.

What role do your own choices and attitudes play in the designs God is creating and re-creating in your life?

5.

How has your image of God and of yourself changed over the course of reading and discussing this book?
