My Lord, the Count - Forgotten Books

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C ONSTAN C E M AR K H AM M rs W i l to n s C o u s i n ! a c o l l ege gr ad u ate w i t h i d e a s d e c id ed b u t n e v e r s eve re ’

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CONSTAN C E ( L a u g ht n g ly ) : O h ! M R S W I LTON : W h e n w i ll t he c i ty be c o m e n or m al a s s u m e s o m e di g n i ty I a m a s h am ed of t h e an d r a bbl e in th e s tre e t s a n d thei r v u l gar d e mo n s trati o n T h ere a r e s o m a n y t i tl ed fo reig n er s h e re to o W h at W i l l th e y t hi n k o f u s CONSTAN C E : It i s d re ad fu l ( L o o ks in b o o !c ) M R S W IL TON : It i s i n dee d O n e c a n t go i n t o t h e s tree t b u t th e p l e bi a n m o b s u rge s u p agai n s t y o u o r s to p s y o u r a u to mobi l e T he y o fi e n d th e ey e a n d d e afe n t h e e ar I t is too b ad y o u o u g h t to h ave a C ONSTAN C E : ‘ body g u ard a n d a h eral d to pro c l ai m m ak e w ay fo r .

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A l fo n s o G e ra r d e W il to n But w hy d o y o u s tay h ere ? T h ere is t h e ari s to c r at i c s e c l u s io n of y o u r vi ll a o n th e H u d s o n o r yo u r c o t

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W I LTON ( S it s ) : O f c o u r s e i t s t h e c o rre c t th i n g to be h ere all peo p l e of c o n s e qu e n c e are B u t I d o w i s h D e w e y h ad a ti tl e o r at l e a s t c am e fro m a n o b l e fam il y C ONSTAN C E : So th at w ou l d ad d to th ei r g lo ry w o u l d i t ? N o w I t h i n k of i t t he re is a s to ry w h i c h ne s ay s h e i s a de s c e n d a n t o f ki n g s b righ t div i y n s t a n ce M R S W I L T ON : T akes h a i r n e a r er o c C ( ) Yo u T h ere i s t el l m e ab o u t i t c o u s i n C o n s t a n c e d o k n o w e v e ry thi n g Di d y o u l ear n i t at W el le s l e y ? I s a w i t i n a p aper C O N IT A N C E : N o n o t th e r e T h e arti c l e s ai d t ha t De w ey c o m e s fro m a n ol d fe u d a l fa m i ly o f Fl a n d er s M R S W I LTON : Di d h is a n c e s to r s co m e o v er w i t h W illi am t h e C o n q u eror ? T hey d i d a n d o n e o f t he m rec eiv ed C ONSTAN C E : a b aro n e t c y fro m Ja m e s t h e S e c o n d M R S W I LTON : I n d eed d o peo pl e k n o w th at ? T h e f o rei g n er s I m e a n I th i n k s o i f th ey re ad t h e p a per s C ONSTAN C E : M R S W I L TON : W el l I a m gl ad t o h e a r i t It add s s o m u c h m ore d ig n i ty t o th e w h ol e o c c a s i o n N o w I th i n k o f i t h e d i d h av e q u i te a n o b l e appear a n c e l ike a d u k e o r a pri n ce a s h e s to o d o n t h e d e c k o f the O ly m pi a ’

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B u t C o n s ta n ce ( a r is es ) th e a w f u l m ob s w i th t h e i r v u l g ar c u r i o s i ty a n d e x pre s s i o n s I w a s c o m p l e tel y h u m i l i a te d w h e n j u s t a s C o u n t M a v w o t z k i d e Ko bolo t z k i c am e u p to my a u to m o b i l e t h e y beg a n to h u rrah f r R o u gh R id e r s a n d W a r G od s w i t h d i m i n u ti ve n am e s R o u gh R i d e r s i n d eed ! H e m u s t th i n k w e er a c o u n t ry o f th e m Di d h e S ho w a n y a n n oy a n c e ? C ONSTAN C E : M R S W I LTON : ( S its n e a r Co n s t a n ce) N o i t w a s a rel i e f w h e n h e t ur n e d to m e i n th a t c o u r teo u s w a y “ M y de ar M ad a m a n d Sai d w i t h h is c h arm i n g a c c e n t Is s i t a n I n d i a n o r a gol d w h y d o z e peo p l e s ho u t ? ” mine T h at m u s t h ave b e e n a reli e f C ONSTAN C E : M R S W I LTON : I t w a s I i m m ed i atel y c alle d h is a tt e n t i o n t o th e n aval p arad e w hi c h w a s qu i te fin e B ri gh t o f m e w a s n t i t ? C ONSTAN C E : Y e s q u i te brigh t M R S W I LTON : I t h o u g h t s o b u t t h ey d o t h e s e t h i n g s m u c h b e t te r a c ro s s th e w ater A t th e ! ue e n s j u b il e e e ve ry th i n g s e e m e d s o m u c h m ore s ta te l y T h ere w a s s u c h r ev ere n c e a n d a w e fo r t h e gre at peo pl e tho s e w i t h ti tl e s y o u k n o w C ONSTAN C E : 0 y e s w i t h ti t l e s M R S W I LTON : B u t C o n s t a n c e t o b e ad d re s s e d a s ” “M r is e s w a lk s a w a r o m Co n s t a n c e y d e ar m ad a m y ( f ) i t o u g h t to be m y d ear C o u n te s s o r m y d e ar Du c h e ss H o w e ve r I s u ppo s e it s to o l a te f or m e .

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_6_ O h I d o n t k n o w abo u t t h a t C O NSTAN C E : M R S W I LTON : Ye s I t hi n k It i s ( a n im a t e d c o m es n o w I b e li e ve t h e C o u n t b u t d o y o u k n e a r Co n s t a n c e ) H e g ave h e r m ark e d i s i n tere s ted in o u r H ele n at te n t i o n at N e w p o rt t h i s s u m me r a n d i n q u i re d v e ry p ar ti c u l arly ab o u t h e r tod ay ( S it s ) If w e are a li ttle — o h w ell —s ol i c i to u s —c o rd i al y o u k n o w a n o ther g ra n d i n t e r n ati o n al m arr i age m i g h t n o t b e a n i m po s s ibi li ty Do e s H e le n s ee m to c are fo r h i m ? C ONSTAN C E : I pre s u m e s o Do M R S W I LT ON : C are fo r h i m n stance o h at t hi o u re ali z e s b ril l i a n t m arr i age w C y w o u l d m ea n fo r u s ? T h e d e ar c hi l d w o u l d b e m a g b ro ad i f w e n ific e n t l a s e t tl e d an d w h en we we nt y d i d n o t re m ai n t h ere e n ti rely w e w o u l d b e re c e i ved i n t o roy al c i r c l e s i m m edi at el y T h at w o u ld b e s u c h a pr i v i l ege b u t C ONSTAN C E : ‘ V o u d o n t k n o w th a t s h e c are s fo r hi m M R S W I LTON : C o n s ta n c e yo u are s o per s i s te n t I v eri ly belei ve yo u r c ol lege ed u c atio n is m ak i n g yo u d i s a g ree ab l e A w o m a n s h o u ld n t hav e too m u c h ed u c ati o n C are fo r h i m ! W hy I s u p po s e s o h e s s o d i s ti n g u i s h ed l ook i n g a n d s o ge n tl e a n d co u r teo u s in m a n n e r I a m s u re h e w o u l d b e k i n d t o h er a n d t h e s p l e n do r o f i t all o u gh t to d eli gh t n g girl yo u an y T h e n y o u ap p ro ve o f th e s e i n te r C ONSTAN C E : n ati o n al m arri a g e s ? M R S W I LTON : I d o i n dee d ( r is es ) I t hi n k t h e re i s a gre at d e al o f fal s e s e n ti m e n t agai n s t t h e m ’

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I n t er n a tio n al m arri a g e s br i n g th e n ati o n s c l o s er to x pre s s i o n e th er e o f t h e tru e r a n d are re al l y a n g pa trio ti s m fo r w i t h s o m a n y A m e r i ca n gi rl s am o n g t h e n ob il i t y o f E u ro pe i n te r n ati o n al w ar s w o u l d n o t o cc u r N o th e pea c e a n d h arm o n y o f E u C O NSTAN C E : e ho f o r e era w r0 s e n obil i t y h av e i n te r m arr i e d n g p t i o n s i s re m ark abl e H c w e ver I beli e ve t h e n ati o n s h av e n o t y e t l ai d d o w n th ei r arm s M R S W I LTON ( L e a n s 0 n ch a ir s a ys w ea k ly) : B u t C o n s t a n c e A m e ri c a n s t hi n k m or e of th e i r o w n c h i l d re n a n d w o u ld n t fi gh t agai n s t t he m C ONSTAN C E : So yo u h av e de c i de d to m arr y y o u r d au gh te r w il l i n g o r u n w i lli n g to a f orei g n e r T o am o n g s t ra n ge p e o s e n d h e r o ff to a s tra n ge l a n d n d c u s to m s I s e e y o u are dee ply i m b u e d w i th l e a p t h e n e w pat ri o ti s m M R S W I LTON : Pard o n m e C o n s ta n ce i f I s a y ag ai n y o u are e n ti rely t o o w el l ed u c ate d I rea d t h at abo u t i n te r n ati o n al m arr i age s in a paper T h e ar ti c l e s ai d th ey w ere a go o d t h i n g An d i t e x ac tl y m y vi e w s P l a yfu lly c o i n c id e s w i t h N o w t here s ( ) yo u r s el f If yo u w e re n t s o a s s e rti v e w i t h y o u r m o n ey a n d a p p e ara n c e yo u m i g h t j u s t a s w el l m arr y a d u k e o r s o m e thi n g a s n o t I b el ei v e I c o u ld d o a xin g ly co m e s C o t o Co n s t a n ce s o me th i n g fo r y o u ( ) ‘ C o u l d n t y o u c o n c eal yo u r o pi n i o n s m o re it s s o di s agre e abl e fo r a w o m a n to h av e o p i n i o n s R i i n g i n d ig n a n t ly p u s hin s C ONSTAN C E ( g M rs W -

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I s a bel l e ! H o w c a n I im pre s s u po n y o u t h at I d o n o t c are to m arry a n y o n e —d o m e s ti c o r fo rei g n a n d c e r t a i n l v s h a l l n o t m arry m ere l y fo r the s ake of a ti tle a n y o f yo u r fo rei g n l i o n s w h o c o m e s eek i n g w h at th ey m a y d e vo u r i n t h e w a y o f a f o rt u n e M y pl a n s are m ad e fo r t h e fu t u re a n d a h u s ba n d i s n o t i n c l u ded i n th em H o w e ver i f a n y m a n c o u l d i n d u c e m e t o c h a n ge t h e m I s h o u l d h o pe i t w o u l d be s o m e go od h o n e s t ncy A m eri c a n c i ti z e n I f a n t e r s e rv a n t wi t h ca r d E ( ) y o u r C o u n t h a s ca l l e d to ba r g ai n w i t h y o u my p re s e n c e w o u l d n o t be a n i n s pi ra t i o n I w i l l l e av e Jll rs

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W I LTON : M R S.

i t i s b e ( To s er v a n t ) Y o u I a m s o agi tat ed I a m s u re m a y S h o w h i m in he re h e w i s h e s to fin d o u t th e s t ate o f H ele n s a ffe c t io n s O h for t h e pro per t a c t to m a n a g e th i s ( E n t e r Co u n t w e a rs p o in t e d b e a r d a n d m o n a c l e ) A h ! m y d e ar C o u n t I t i s de l ig h tful t o s e e y o u in N e w Yo rk Mav wo t z k i a g a i n I re j o i c e in t h i s c el eb rat i o n f o r th a t at l e a s t W ill y o u be s eat e d COUNT M : Z e m ad am is s v e ra k i n d I h av e c all e d o n a l eetl e m a tter o f— I m ea n I h ave c all e d to s e e z e mad a m I w a s in do u b t th at y o u migh t b e o u t — to z e w h at yo u c al l i t — z e w el c o m e t o z e o n e s old i e r c el a Ye s ,

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M R S W I LTON :

I w a s o u t fo r a w h il e b u t I h ave yo u know s e e n s o m a n y o f th e s e th i n g s in E u ro pe ‘ t h e ! u ee n s j u bil ee w h er e I m e t th e Pri n c e o f W al e s a n d t h e c o r o n ati o n o f th e C z a r th at w a s m ag n ifi .

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_ 9_ I t w a s s o d e ar a n d gra c i o u s o f hi m t o h ave c en t t h o s e gift s t h ro w n to t h e s e rf s h o w th ey m u s t l o ve him C O UNT M : Z a d o m y d e ar m ad a m Z a d o M R S W I LTON : O u r n aval di s pl a y w a s i m po s i n g ? n n Did y o u o t th i k s o T h e A d mi ra l i s l a s t n i gh t o f roy al bl o o d y o u k n o w a n d th e peo pl e d eligh t to h onor him C OUNT M : l s s i t s o ? Z e bo at s w e re q u i te fin e Yo u h av e o n e g reat t h e d e c o ra t i o n s e lega n t and n ati o n M R S W I LTON : O h w e h av e w o n derfu l re s o u r c e s in A m e r i c a t h e re i s m u c h c ul t u re a n d w e al t h h ere .

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o h y e s a n d z e M ad am o ? i n fi n s i n r i t s Do e s S h e d he r elf great s p e e s el le W l to M R S W I L TON : T h a n k y o u y e s s h e i s u n u s u al l y h appy o f l ate s h e h a s j u s t re a c h ed he r m a j ori ty a n d q ui te e n j oy s th e i n d e p e n d e n ce h er h av e b ro u g h t he r H e r d e ar papa left her th at H e w a s a n o i l pri n c e y o u k n o w CO UNT M : O h i t i s s M R S W I LTON : Par d o n m e fo r S peaki n g o f i t W e M r W il to n u s e d in A m eri c a b e c o m e v e ry pra c ti c al o f t e n to tal k o ve r his fi n a n c e s w i th m e H e th o u g h t a l ady s h o u l d h ave s o m e fa m il i ari ty w i t h at le a s t th e ro u n d n u m ber s o f h er fo rt u n e CO UNT M : Z e ro u n d n u m be r s ye s s Ah v err a M m oo d i de a z at d ear ad am I v ill b e f ra nk Wl Z g y COUNT M

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y o u I c all to z a y t o y o u z at I lo v e s z e y o u n g l ad y ev e r s i n c e I h ave h e ard abo u t h er fo r— ev e r s in c c I h av e s ee n h e r I h ave d e s i red to d o h er z e ho n o r t o m ake h er m y c o u n te s s M R S WI LTON : A h ! C o u n t M a v w o t z k i I a m d e li g h te d t o k n o w y o u r hi gh n e s s a p pre c i ate s m y d au gh ter B u t w h o c o u ld h el p l o vi n g H ele n S h e i s a fi e c t io n a t e a n d g e n ero u s C O UNT M A h ! a ff e c ti o n ate a n d ge n ero u s a n d are y o u s u re h e r a ffe c t i o n s a r e d e s s in g a g e d ? M R S W I LT ON : I h ave re a s o n to b el i ev e s o a n d a l s o t h at th e a t te n t i o n s y o u r hi g h n e s s h a s bee n pl e a s ed to b e s to w u po n h er h ave bee n re c ei ve d w i t h pl e a s u re CO UN T M : Yo u w o u ld g i ve m e z e n yo u r p e r m iz z eo n to pay m y a d dre s s e s to h er ? It w o u l d M R S W I LTON : I d o my m o s t c o rd i al i v e m e gre at s at i s fa c t i o n t o h av e H el e n h a p p y w i t h g M y o w n l ife h a s b ee n a tri fl e s a d a n d y o u r h i gh n e s s l o n ely s i n c e M r W i l to n s de a th bu t I h av e al w a y s to re me m b er his th o u gh tf ul p ro vi s i o n f o r m y co m It w a s fo r t H el e n s h o m e yo u k n ow w o ul d be in R u s s i a I pre s u m e .

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CO U N T M : Ye s s m ad a m I h ave a n old a verra o ld c a s tl e z are I a s s u re yo u e v ery th i n g a bo u t i t i s m o s t a n c i e n t q u i te dil a p i d ated in fa c t Sh e w o u l d h a ve th e t i tl e n o w of C o u n te s s P e trov i t c h Z e l ic k a M a v w o t z k i d e Ko b o l o t z k i w i t h t h e ti t l e o f D u c h e s s o f Va l d iv o s t o k i n e ar t o h e r ,

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M R S W I LTON : Sh e w o u l d ! CO UNT M : Y e s m o s t h o n o re d m ad am .

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Bro w n a n d I h av e bee n —I ‘ beg yo u r p ard o n I d i d n t n o ti c e th ere w e re V i s i to r s M R S W I LTON : C o u n t M a v w o t z k i y o u k n o w w e m e t h i m at N e w po r t l a s t s u m m e r a n d al s o at M r s ‘ S tuy ve s a n t Pe n d l e to n s l a w n fe te i n J uly HELEN ( Wa lkin g up t o Co u n t a n d s ha kin g ha n d s r a n k ly : es h o wd o y o u d o C o u n t m O h I re e m f ) y ber t h at Fo u rt h of J u ly c el e b rati o n y o u w e re s o can I s c ared w h e n t h e fire c ra c ker s w e n t o fi ( l a u g hs ) s e e yo u j u m p y e t D i d y o u thi n k t h ey w e re d y n a m i te b o m b s a n d th e R u s s ia n Be ar w a s a f ter yo u bu t I beg y o u r pard o n d o y o u k n o w M r B ro w n C o u n t L e t m e m ake y o u a c qu ai n ted w it h M r Mav wo t z ki Bro w n of N e w Yo rk C i ty C O UNT M ( S up e r cilio u s ly ) : Br o w n d i d y o u s a y ? I h a v e m e t m a n y B ro w n s in A m er i c a —m y w ai ter M am a

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C OUNT M (P r o lo n g ed s t a r e thr o u gh ey eg la ss ) : Aw I d o n t s ee m t o re c al l i t B RO W N : Do n t y o u ? W e l l t h a t s oldi e r w a s I HEL EN : 0 G eorge d i d y o u d o t h at ? B t i t w a s j u s t l ik e y o u Yo u al w ay s ch a m pio n ed th e w e ake r s id e at s c ho ol ( Tu r n i n g t o M rs W ) M am a Mr Bro w n a n d I w i t h s o m e o t h e r s h av e be e n o n t h e w ate r i n hi s y a c h t M R S W I L TON ( R ep r o v i n g ly) : Mr Bro w n a n d y o u a n d y o u r c h apero n e .



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HELEN : My c h a p ero n e ! W h at d i d I n e e d of a c h aper o n e W e v e a l w a y s k n o w n M r Bro w n b e s i de s h e h el pe d t ake c are o f al l C u b a a n d s u rely h e c a n t ake c a re o f j u s t o n e g i rl B RO W N : I t h a s bee n n o tro u bl e I a s s u re y o u M R S W I LTON ( L o o kin g fr e ezin g ly a t B r o w n ) : H el e n th e C o u n t is m u c h i n tere s ted in t h e ce l eb ra tio n HELEN ( t o Co u n t ) : Yo u are s u re to b e t h e c i ty d o e s l o o k be au ti f ul a n d d o y o u n o t ad m i re o u r s ol di er s ? ’

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—1 3 CO UNT M : Z e co m m o n peo pl e thi n k m u c h o f t hem s elv e s An d z is w h at y o u c all h im — A d mi ral ? ? i s s he z e n s o m u c h H a s s s u c h gre at ti tl e s B RO W N : H a s b e s u c h gre at ti tl e s ? In A m eri c a i t is t i tl e e n o u gh to be c a l l ed th e H ero of a N ati o n C O UNT M ( Shru g s s ho u ld e rs ) : Is s i t s o ? Yo u l ov e z e c o u n t ry m u c h It i s s n e w O n e like s n e w t h i n g s B RO W N : N e w t h i n g s a re c l ea n a n d p u re a n d s tro n — t h ey g HEL EN : M a ma s o m e o f u s w e n t o u t to th e O ly m n i i n a t u g e s ere ade d a W p M R S W I LTON : H el e n thi s i s u n u s u al be h avio r T o Co u n t T h e d e ar c h il d i s j u s t fro m s c h ool s h e h a s ( ) bee n c arr i e d a w a y by th e e x c i t e me n t o f t h e d ay S h e M rs a n d u n t p a n t om i n e co n i s v ery y o u n g W C o ( .

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a c r o s s th e w ater a n d d a n c e w i t h t he R u s s i a n Bea r HELEN ( Ar ch ly) : B u t I h ave d a n c e d w i th y o u h e re M R S W IL T o N : H e l e n !

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C O UNT M I t is n o z z in g m ad am m a d a m o s e l l e h a s s h e r l ee tl e j o ke B u t tr ul y m a d a m o s e l l e yo u w o u l d e n j o y a vi s i t to o u r c o u n t ry T h ere i s o u r g re a t m a g n i fi c e n t c o u r t o u r c i ti e s o u r p a la c e s a n d in z e w i n te r z e ic e p al a c e al l gl i tteri n g w iz li gh t a n d z e m erry S k a ter s HEL EN : N o d o u b t I s h o u ld e n j o y i t I h av e o fte n t ho u g h t I S h o u l d li ke t o v i s i t R u s s i a t o m ak e a s t u d y of y o u r pe n al l a w s a n d th e m o ti v e s fo r t h e Pe a c e M a n i fe s t o CO UNT M : Z e m a d a m o s e l l e is s l ear n e d M ad am I m ak e z e c al l l o n g W iz yo u r p e r m iz z e o n e I c al l o n c e m o re M R S W I LTON : Yo u r h i gh n e s s is al w ay s w el c o m e h e re Y o u w i l l n o t m i n d H el e n s h e h a s n e ve r b ee n a bro ad a n d is d epl orab ly A m eri c a n CO UNT M M y d e ar m a d am s h e is s c h arm i n g ning a r m e n t e) I co m e a ai n o o d m o r m d h C G a g ( .

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HELEN : G o o d m o r n i n g C o u n t M a v w o t z k i CO UNT M B o n j o u r m a d a m M av w o t z k i Coun t M R S W I LTON : B o n j o u r — d n c e I a m g l ad all o w a n c e s A s i e Fo r o xi t Co u n t E ( ( ) co u l d b e m ad e fo r A m e r i c a n s av a g e r y ) H el e n .

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t y o u qu i te u n c i v i l to t h e C o u n t ! I a m s u re h e i s very c o u r teo u s h i m s e l f HELEN : O h I do n t k n o w H e i rri t ate s m e s o the n I al w a y s a n d h e w a s s o u n ki n d to M r Bro w n t hi n k h e is c al c ul ati n g j u s t h o w m u c h c api tal w o u l d j u s ti f y t h e e x pe n d i t u re o n m y c u s to m or bel o n g i n g s M R S W I LTON : B u t H e le n I h ave re a s o n to k n o w th at y o u g ro s s ly mi s j u d ge t h e C o u n t H e h a s o fte n to l d m e o f h is o w n el e g a n t p al a c e a n d h is fri e n d s at c o u rt a n d I a m s u re h is a t te n t i o n s to y o u are e n t i rely d is m t e re s t e d O n l y tod ay h e s pok e mo s t el o q u e n tl y t o m e of h is ad m i ra ti o n a n d u n dy i n g l ov e fo r y o u HELEN : O h m a m a ! M R S W I LTON : H e s ai d h e w o ul d be pro u d to m ake y o u his c o u n te s s th e m i s tre s s o f his pal a c e b u t w a s i n th e d e p th s o f di s pai r fo r f e ar h i s l o ve w a s ho p e less HELEN : M a m a I c a n h ardly b el i ev e i t W h a t d id y o u s a y ? M R S W I LTON : I t i s tr u e H ele n I do n t w o n de r u o c are o ver o m e If y o u h a d w i t n e s s e d t h e bri l y l ia n c y a n d m ag n ifi c e n c e of th e R u s s i a n c o u r t a s I h av e y o u c o u l d s ti l l bet ter a ppre c i ate t h e d az z l i n g n d s c a x n ro pe t yo u r e cee d i g go o d for tu n e p w e re n



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HELEN : B u t m a m a I do n t c are fo r h i m o r abo u t his o l d pal a c e o r c o u rt ei th e r Papa w o u l d n ev e r h av e w a n ted m e to m arry a fo reig n er h e tho u g h t s o m u c h of his o w n c o u n try ’

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M R S W I L TON :

Yo u r poo r papa w o u l d f eel ve ry d i ffe re n tl y i f h e w e re al i ve n o w H e w a s p rogre s s i v e a n d w o u ld be fi ll e d Wi t h th e n e w p atri o ti s m — t h e u n i ve r s al bro th erh o od c f m a n HELEN : Bu t I d o n t l o v e h i m be s id e s I h ave m o r e th a n h al f pro m i s e d G eo rge —M r B ro w n M R S W I LTON : H el e n G e r a rd e W i l to n ! I co u l d n e ve r c o n s e n t t o th at W H O is M r Bro w n ? HELEN : W h y G eorge —h e w a s h ere tod a y S u rely v o u k n o w G eo r g e B ro w n I k n o w a y o u n g per s o n b y t h e M R S W I LTON : B u t W H O w ere h is a n o e s n am e of G eorge Bro w n to r s ? W ere T H E Y t i t led a n d d id T H E Y c o m e ov er w i t h ? n i ll i a m the o q u ero r C W HEL EN : I m s u re I d o n t k n o w I n eve r th o u gh t o f th at I l l a s k h im Bu t re ally I d o n t s e e w h at d i ffere n c e i t m ake s w h e th er h is a n c e s t o r s w ere t i tl e d o r n o t I am s u re t h e v w e re g o o d M R S W I LTON ( a s i d e) : It s s o o rd i n ary to b e goo d HELEN : I h ave all b u t p ro m i s ed G eo rge to b e M R S W I LTON : W el l t h at w o u ld n t n eed t o be c o n S id e r e d C o u n t M a v w o t z k i Wi l l m ake y o u a good ki n d h u s ba n d a n d s u c h a bri ll i a n t f u t u re ( Ap l n I t u i te m ak e s m e d i z z y to t hi k a c h es H e e n ro q p ) o f i t T h ere c o u ld b e s u ch a n i m pre s s i v e w ed d i n g t o b egi n w i th — h ave t h e R u s s i a n ce re m o n y h e re E re c t a n al tar h av e th e c a n dl e s a n d c h u r c h p i c t u re s — n te r b ri d al par ty — o u all be a u e Su b d u e d 1i h t — g y ti fu l in y o u r w h i te ro b e s — t h e c ere m o n y a n d t h e n .

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Yo u r m o th er w il l fo r g i ve y o u in a w eek o r t w o HEL EN (M is chie v o u s ly) : M ay b e y o u d t ake h i m o fi my h a n d s C o n n i e ? C ONSTAN C E : I ! Yo u k n o w m v s e n ti m e n t s o n t h e n n n n u e s ti o b e s id e I m aki g m atr i m o i al v s n t m e o q t u re s o f a u v ki n d So m e d ay w h e n I a m n am ed w i th t h e o th e r w o me n be n efa c to r s o f t h e ra c e o r a m s c n t re i d e of a o llege yo u i ll t h at I h av e hosen c w s e e p th e be tter w a y fo r m e — pard o n m e — if I s a y t h e n o b le r Yo u s e e I h o ld t h at t h e s i n gl e li fe i s t h e tru ly u n s el fi s h a n d al tr u i s ti c O n e h a s s o m u c h m o re t i m e t o d ev o te to th e g e n e r al go od HELEN : T h e n y o u d o n t m i n d l i v i n g y o u r l i fe al o n e CONSTAN C E : A l o n e ! W h at a b e n i gh ted a n t e d il u vi a n id ea i t is W h y t h e re s t h e w h ol e w o rld f o r c o m p an y I pre s u m e y o u t hi n k I m i gh t b e tte r m arr y a W e ary W i l l i e o r bro k e n d o w n n o bl e m a n HELEN : N o n o t t h at B u t ar e n t y o u fo rge t ti n g .

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M r V a n T u yl e ? ’ CONSTAN C E : M r V a n T u yl e ! I d o n t S e e .

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to do with it HELEN : 0 n o th i n g O n l y y o u s ee m to h av e s o m e i n t ere s t in his u n de r s ta n di n g o f m e t a p h y s i c s a n d p s yc h i c a l s u b j e c t s C ONSTAN C E : M r Va n T u y l e h a s e x pre s s e d a l a n d a b l e d e s ire to k n o w m o re of th e s e s u b e c t s a n d i t i s j o n ly part of my li fe w o r k to g i ve k n o w l edge w h ere i t is de s i re d t he s a m e a s I w o u l d bre a d a n d m ea t HEL EN : W el l i t s al l ve ry gra n d I d are s a y b u t .

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ee m s to m e i t w o u l d be pre tt y l o n e s o me w i t h o u t w e ll sa G eo r e g y C ONSTAN C E : Yo u c are fo r G eo r g e the n m arry h i m d o H ele n I bel i e ve I h av e a pl a n th at w i l l s e t tl e e very thi n g s a ti s fa c to ril y Do y o u per s o n ally obj e c t to t h e C o u n t fo r a rel a ti ve —s a y c o u s i n o r s te p f a th e r ? HELEN : W h at d o y o u m ea n ? O n ly t h i s I b el i e ve yo u r m o th er C O NSTAN C E : w i t h a l i t t l e e n c o u ra g e m e n t o f t he r i g h t s o rt w o u l d Pard o n m e i f I s a y I d o n t b e m arry h i m h er s el f l i e ve i t w i ll m ake m u c h d i ff ere n c e to th e C o u n t S h e H e i s n t s u c h a b ad s o rt h a s m o re m o n ey t h a n yo u b ei n g a s p r i g o f n o bi l i ty HELEN : B u t m a m a i s —w h y I do n t beli ev e S h e d do it I th i n k s h e w il l T h e C o u n t e s s o f C ONSTAN C E : W it c h a z e l di d a n d a l s o th e B aro n e s s o f G r a v e t o n ” “ T h at w il l m ak e i t c o rre c t y o u k n o w HELEN : W el l i f i t c a n b e h appi l y s e ttl e d th at w ay I am s u re i t w o u l d b e a rel i ef It w o u l d s av e t ro u bl e be t w ee n m am a a n d m e a n d s ati s fy h e r am b i tio n I h av e be e n prepar i n g h er m i n d fo r C ONSTAN C E : i t I thi n k t he s c h e m e w i l l m ateri al i z e B u t h e re co m es s o me o n e ‘ HELEN : It s G eorge I tol d Jame s t o s e n d h im u p h ere I s u p po s e I l l h av e to a n s w er h i m n o w Do n t g o — th ere s s o m e o n e w i th hi m ( E n t e r Geo rg e it

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HELEN ( co ld ly ) : G o o d m o r n i n g M r B ro w n M r l d l t e rg e o G o o C Va n T u y l e h o w d o y o u d o y ( ) T hi s i s d el i g h t fu l t h at y o u b ro u gh t M r Va n T u y l e B RO W N : Y e s H e c am e a c ro s s m e o n th e s t ree t Goo d m o rn Sai d h e h a d a book fo r M i s s M ark h a m in g M i s s M ark h a m G o o d m o r n i n g g e n tl e m e n I t wa s C ONSTAN C E : k i n d o f y o u to br i n g th e b o o k I t h a s t h e arti c l e o n “ M a n C o rre l a t ed t o t h e U n i v er s e ” Do y o u k n o w I f o u n d a n o th e r arti c l e o n t h e s am e s u b j e c t I t i s in th e l i b rary W o n t y o u c o m e i n a n d w e c a n c o m pare t h e m H e l e n a n d M r B ro w n w i l l e x c u s e u s I a m T h ey n o d a s s e n t —B r o w n v i o r o u s l s u re o n s t a n c C e g y ( .

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HELEN : R e ally I h ad n t t h o u gh t a n y th i n g ab o u t i t —I m s u re h e s a very pl e a s a n t yo u n g m a n B R O W N : H e s al l r i g h t in h is pl a c e B u t co m e H ele n h o w i s i t b e t w ee n y o u a n d th e C o u n t a n d m e ? Y o u m u s t te l l m e t o d ay HELEN : I m u s t ? I d o n t k n o w G eo rge Yo u s e e I d o n t k n o w w h o y o u are G EO R G E : W h o I a m ! W hy y o u v e k n o w n m e al l yo u r l i fe ,





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21

H EL EN : Y e s b u t I do n t k n o w a bo u t yo u r a n o e s to r s —y o u r fami ly tree yo u k n o w ‘ B RO W N : O h m y fam i l y tre e It s qu i te a n c i e n t A u t u m n al c o l or s in fa c t —i t s Bro w n HELEN : H o w a b s u rd ! B u t th at w o n t d o ! yo u v e go t to s a y y o u r c ate c hi s m T he re n o w ! S ta n d u p t h e re —toe s o n th e l i n e N o w w h o w a s y o u r ol de s t a n c e s to r ? B RO W N : W hy — w h y—I do n t k n o w — O y e s i t w a s M e th u s el ah HELEN : I gu e s s th at s righ t — b u t th at i s n t w h at I m e a n t L e t s t ry agai n —w i th w ho m di d y o u r a n c e s t o rs c o m e o ver ? B RO W N : O ve r—o ver w h at ? HELEN : W h y o ver t h e fl ood s o f t h e m i gh ty d e e p of co u rs e B RO W N : O h th e fl o o d s I t w a s N o ah HELEN : G eo r g e yo u are s o di s appoi n ti n g Y o u o u gh t to h ave s ai d W ill i am th e C o n qu ero r It s th e “ c o rre c t t hi n g ” fo r a n c e s to r s to c o m e o ver w i th W i lli am t h e C o n qu ero r N o w h e re s a n o th e r o n e W h e n di d y o u r fa mi ly ge t th e d i s ti n g u i s hed n a m e o f Bro w n ? In th e thi r tee n t h B RO W N : I c a n a n s w er th at c e n tu ry w he n th e re s t o f t he peo p l e w e re d i ff e re n B u t c o m e thi s is e n o u g h n o n s e n s e If yo u t ia t e d r e al ly w a n t to k n o w a bo u t my a n c e s to r s a s far b a c k t o i n ve s ti g ate t h ey h av e bee n as i t is n e c e s s ary ’

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22

b rave t r u e m e n —l o y a l t o t h ei r fri e n d s th ei r c o u n try th ei r ho m e s Is t h a t a s ati s fa c to ry re c o rd ? HELE N ( Shy ly ) : Y e s BRO W N : T he n H el e n m y li ttl e H ele n i t o n l y rem ai n s fo r v o u to s a y y o u c are e n o u g h fo r m e to HELEN : B u t th e C o u n t d i d n t s ay i t t h at w a y .

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I w il l e n d u re n o m o re o f th i s I a m n o c h ild to be p l ayed w i t h n o s e rv i l e fl a t t e r e r o r ti tle d co n qu eri n g h ero It is n o t w o m a n ly o f yo u t o tre at me so Geo rg e ap p r o a ch e s h er ) ( H e len g r iev ed Fo r g i ve m e H el e n l i ttl e pl a y m ate b u t I h av e h o pe d s o l o n g a n d d ared to e x pe c t s o m e thi n d i f f e re nt A l l g t hr o u g h t h o s e t e rri bl e C u b a n d ay s t h ro u gh h e a t th ro u gh feve r a n d t h ro u gh s u ff eri n g a n d w h e n S pa n i s h b u l l e t s w e re fl y i n g t hi c k o n S a n J u a n H i ll i t w a s th o u g h t o f yo u a n d t h at y o u c a red t h at n erv ed m y ar m a n d s taye d my c o u rage Do n t te a s e m e n o w H ele n T el l m e tr uly d o y o u B RO W N :

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CONSTAN C E : Y e s th e N o r m o f t h e C o s m o s is a rath e r ab s tra c t t e r m to g ra s p b u t yo u h ave h ad n o Do n o t all o w yo u r s el f to be c o m e d i ffi c u l ty w i th i t d i s c o u raged in yo u r p s y c hi c al re s e ar c h As a c o lle g e “ profe s s or o f mi n e u s e d to s a y W e are all c hi l d re n ” i n t h e pre s e n c e o f n e w k n o w l edge HELEN ( L a u g hin g ly) : A re y o u peo pl e s till dee p in ? M r n h ol o gi al u bj e t Bro j t c s c s w h s u u s c a s s p y g ,

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J u s t t h e t h i n g I a m s u re HEL EN : W i ll y o u ge n tl e m e n w ai t h ere u n ti l w e fin d o u r w ra p s ( Co n s t a n ce op e n s m a g a z in e— i t n o s to p :

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) HELEN ( To Geo rg e) : I s h al l t ell m a m a to re c e i ve th e C o u n t a n d gi ve hi m a fi n al n o .

BRO W N : ( D em o n s tr a tio n ) HELEN : N o n o n s e n s e s ir ! ,

wa lks

) VA N T U Y L E : Sa y Bro w n w h at i n th e n a m e of a l l t h a t s w o n d erf u l is t h e N or m O f th e C o s m o s ? Sh e ‘ t hi n k s I k n o w b u t I d o n t T el l m e q u i c k ! E (

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a c o n fo u n d ed i di o t t h at c o m e s i n to th e roo m at t he w ro n g t i m e VAN T U YL E : H o n e s t n o w ! W h a t d oe s i t m e a n ? I u n d er s ta n d ab o u t th e e vol u ti o n o f c o n s c io u s n e s s a n d th a t by i n tere s t a n d e l o q u e n c e I c a n be r a i s e d a bov e my s e l f a n d s u b j e c t a n d be c o m e i t BRO W N : Be c o me a n i t Yo u are o n e R i s e ab o v e th e s u bj e c t VA N T U YL E : Be c o m e i t Yo u do n t u n d er s t a n d t h e s e t h i n g s I k n o w to o th at I h av e n o i de a BRO W N : I th o u gh t s o VA N T U YL E : Bu t a m a n id e a w h i c h i d e a I mig h t m e n ti o n i n c id e n t al l y is fa s t b e c o m i n g C o n s ta n ce B u t N o rm o f t h e C o s m o s —N o rm o f t he C o s m o s I t B RO W N :

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j u s t a s w ell b e C o r m o f t h e B l o s m o s Sa y Bro w n i s n t s h e m ag n i fi c e n t ? BRO W N : I t d e pe n d s o n W h o S h e is a n d t h e po i n t o f v i e w H o w ev e r i f it s M i s s M ark h a m s h e d o e s n t a p pe al to m e N o w I go in f o r V A N T U Y L E : I s ho u l d h o pe n o t l e ar n i n g m y s el f a n d I w a n t th at m ag n i fice n t c re at u re at th e h e ad o f my a n c e s tral h o u s e a n d th e l e ar n e d of t h e e art h t o gat he r in m y h er al di c h al l s ‘ BR O W N : S h o u l d n t t hi n k yo u d f e el a t h o m e VAN T U Y L E : Do n t m e n ti o n i t s h e d o e s n t s u s pe o t i t Y o u s e e I l et h er d o all t h e t alk i n g a n d I T h e r ul e h e t hi n k s I m u p to h e r S a p a e c ia t e p w o rk s j u s t a s i t d o e s w i th y o u r l e ar n e d m e n a n d a p i c a t iv e w o m e n r e p BRO W N : W ell y o u are d o n e fo r s u re Has s he gi ve n yo u a n y e n c o u rage m e n t ? B u t s h e tal k s t o VAN T U YL E : N o t t h e s l i g h te s t Di s c u s s e s th i n g s y o u k n o w me BRO W N : Yo u r n am e w il l go ag ai n s t yo u w i t h h e r m ig h t



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t h a t I d li ke to k n o w ? BRO W N : I t d o e s n t s o u n d A m e ri c a n T h e Va n S poi l s i t VAN TU Y L E : B u t i t is a s A m eri c a n a s a n y o f e m I m a d i re c t Kn i c ker b o c k e r s t o c k I c a n pro v e i t d e s c e n d a n t of th e l a s t D u t c h c o lo n i al go v e r n o r ol d ‘ Pe ter th e S t u b bor n T h at s W h y I d o n t giv e u p m y H ere th ey co m e C o n s t a n ce Norm o f B u t hu sh ! ’

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of t h e E g o n o w a n d l a ter o n e o n th e Ph i l o s ” n o t i n s y m pathy w i th ei th e r o f Pro te I am h st o p y t h e o r y N ei th er is M r Va n T u y l e a n d h e t hi n k s S O Yo u c o n s i d er m y c le arly o n th e s e ab s tra c t s u bj e c t s s u g e s ti o n c o n c er n i n g t h e C o u n t a n d w e w i l l ta l k o f g i t a g ai n A n re v oi r m a b el le c o u s i n (E xi t ) M r Va n M R S W I LT ON : A u re v oi r ( L a u g hs ) ” B ut T u y l e thi n k s s o c l earl y o n ab s t ra c t s u bj e c t s t he C o u n t —I w o n d er i f I c o u l d H e c a n t be s o v e r y ” “ yo u n g a n d th ere s th e fe e ft y m i l li o n I ll do i t o

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A i e t h ere m a n y ? ( R in g s fo r m a id — e n t e r Co s ? ! H n ck u i k av e I m a y rey h air Be q u i c s ! g :

) C o s e t te COSETTE ( s e a r chi n g ) : N o t o n e my l a d y L o ok c lo s er ! tru th — t h e M R S W I LTON : Th e tr u th ! T el l m e th e t r u th ! COSE TTE : T h e t r u th i s i t T he n t he re are a fe w j u s t a fe w b u t t h ey d o n t S h o w my l ady M R S W I LTON : T h ey d o S h o w 0 T i m e T i m e is s o c ru el ! Do n t y o u th i n k t i m e is c r u el C o s e tte ? COSETTE : B u t m y l ad y t h ere a re re me d i es e tt e

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M R S W I LTON ( t ri u mp h a n t ly ) :

ar e re m e di e s Bl o n d i n e ( o r B l a ck o lin e) B lo n di n e w il l d o i t ! ( R is es ) T i m e I d e fy yo u W h i l e th e re are re m ed i e s a n d t h e h e ar t is y o u n g (g a ily ) th ere is n o age Yo u m ay go B u t s ta y s t a y w h e n C o u n t M a v w o t z k i C o s e t te c all s te ll h i m I am h ere — h ere — do y o u u n d e r s ta n d ? me .

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C O SETTE : Y e s m y l a dy (s ca re d—E xit ) M R S W I LTON : N o w Ve n u s a n d A ppol o s m i l e do w n u p o n m e ! C h arm s o f my y o u t h c o m e b a c k a l tz w b a rs o w M rs O rch e s t r a p l ay s e l i s t en s W f ( f o r Co u n t ! a rra n g e s d r e ss — ha i r— p u t s r os e i n h a ir ! m a y f t a k e a fe w fa n cy s t ep s o r s o m e p a r t s of a s c a rf d a n ce E n t e r Co u n t ) u s i n g l a ce s c a rf o r m a y s in g C O UNT M : G o od mo r n i n g m ad a m A h y o u are Yo u a r e gay (o r y o u s in g ) l i k e z e g a y ( o r y o u s in g ) bea u t if u l l ee tle b ie rd s M ad am i s h ap py a n d all is w el l M R S W I LTON (c o qu e tt is h ly ) : I h o pe al l w i ll b e w el l ” “ CO UNT M : M ad a m h o p e s Is s n o t z is z e day M rs h Doe W es i t a t es w h e n m y a n s w e r is m ad e ? s ( ) m ad a m tel l m e ? Do I n o t h ave z e a n s w er fro m m v H elen s o w n l i p s M R S W I L TON : H el e n — t h e d e ar c hi l d is s o t i m id S h e h a s a v ery e x al t e d O pi n io n of yo u r H i g h n e s s CO UNT M : I a s s u re z e m ad a m i t g i f s m e z e g rea t l H e r go od n e s s h er e a z u re z at I c o n d e s c e n d t o h er p b e au ty h e r g ra c e m a k e i t m y d el ig h t I a s s u re z e It s al l m ad a m m y s o u l i s s l o n g i n g t o c al l he r mi n e b e p ro u d fo r m e w he n I s e e h er in m y a n t i q u e c a s tl e M R S W I LTON : T h e C o u n t i s v e r y ki n d B u t H el e n t hi n k s —S ay s s a y s s h e do e s n o t l ov e yo u C O UNT M : Im p o s s ib e e l ! Im p o s s ib e e l ! I a m z e C o u n t I h a f z e paper s —I c a n p rov e i t ! M R S W I LTON : O h bel ie ve m e m y d ear C o u n t I d o n o t d o u b t fo r o n e m o m e n t th e a u t h e n t i c i ty o f .

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28 ’

o u r H i g h n e s s ti tle b u t H el e n i s v ery y o u n g a n d y e s m m n al ard o y o u e e o e old er m ore a te r n m s p p A n d th e n h er a fi e c t io n s — H E R S —h av e b ee n gi ve n to a n o th e r 0 i t gri e ve s m e t o gi v e y o u pai n a n d w e I s h al l m i s s y o u CO UNT M : U m ! Z e m ad a m w i ll m i s s m e ( Mr s A N e e d I s i d e W h v n o t z e m ad am no t W s it s ) ( ) C o m e t o z e m ad a m s p al ace ? ( Ap c o m e z e m o re ? u chin t o r i n h a i r a h s M r s W o s e c r e Z e ro s e i s o g p ) v err a bea u ti f u l —i t i s z e q u e e n o f fl o w e r s —i t is m ore per f e c t m o re b e a u t i f u l z a n z e b u d —it h a s fu lfill e d M ad a m I h af fo u n d m u c h p l e a z u r e i n i t s pro m i s e m n o f z e w orl d i s m o re b r i g h t A w o a o u c o m pa n y y e n j oy s o n e s v al u e m ore M R S W I LTON : Y o u thi n k s o m y d e ar C o u n t COUNT M : Yee s m ad am Z e m ad a m w il l c o m e ab r o ad s o m e ti m e a n d l e t m e d o z e h o n o r t o i n tro d u c e h er to z e c o u rt c i r c l e s ? M R S W I L TO N ( Cla sp in g ha n d s ) : T h a t w o u l d b e H e av e n ly ! C OUNT M : N o n n o n n o t H e ave n ly —2 e c o m m o n peo pl e z e s e rf s z a go to z e h e av e n —b u t gra n d s o m e s ad s u pe r b —M ad a m s l i fe i s s o m e ti m e s l o n ely s i n c e z e oi l pri n c e d i ed ? M R S W I L TON : 0 i t h a s be e n s o lo n el y u n ti l C OUNT M : U n t i l z e d a u gh te r w a s s g ro w n M a d a m t h o u g h t m u c h o f z e o i l pri n c e ? H is l a s t M R S W I LTON : H e w a s v e ry ge n ero u s t h o u gh t w a s f o r m e In h is w i ll h e ,

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Z e r o s e is verr a C O UN T M : O u i o u i fe e ft y ad a m d o s i n g ( o r is g a y) fre s h a n d be au ti f ul a n d m l ike z e l ee tl e b ie rd s I m ay c o m e to s e e h er s o m e t i m e s —ofte n ? Sh e is s verra ki n d Z e ro s e s al l n o t be lo n ely m o re —it i s s cr u el t o be lo n el y Z e e a s t er n w i n d s al l w o o i t a n d z e be e ta s te o f z e ho n ey Ze m ad a m w i ll b e a t z e b all z is s e ve n i n g ? .

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M R S W I LTON : .

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JAMES : Do n t t al k to m e ! Do n t l o ok at m e ! D o n t s pe ak t o m e ! CO SETTE : C o m e te l l m e T h at s a go o d boy M ay b e I c an h el p y o u JAMES : E h ! M ayb e y o u c o u l d Yo u are ra th e r q u i c k (M a id g o es of ) C o m e b a c k h ere C o s e tte I m e a n i t ! S e e h e re i t s li ke t h i s I c a n t ple a s e t h e mi s tre s s a n y m ore a n I m afrai d I ll l o s e m e j o b C OSETTE : W hy w h at s t h e tro u bl e ? JAM ES : Y o u k n o w h o w f orei g n a n d ari s t c ra ti c t h i s h o u s eh ol d is ge tt i n g W e r e al l r u n n in m a d s ta n di n po k e r s to re c ei v e H is H i gh n e s s s t h iff as C o u n t M o v w o t z k i d e Ko b o l o t z k i fi r s t fo r M i s s H el e n w h o h a s t o o m u ch goo d s e n s e t h e n f o r t h e m i s t h re s s w h o s ee m s m i g h ty w i ll i n COSETTE : Yo u r ri gh t th ere J e e m s e y—I w ro te s om e poe try abo u t i t l a s t s u m m e r a t N e w po r t JAM ES : Y o u d i d ! ( Ad m ir in g ly) L e s s h e ar i t I h av e a p o e ti c t u r n m e s il f C O S ETTE ( H e s it a t es —b a s hfu lly d ra w s fr o m p o ck e t) : Th e H ere i t i s ! I al w ay s c arry m y p o e t r v w i t h m e fi r s t t w o l i n e s are go n e— yo u s e e t h ey w o u ld n t g o ’





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JAM ES : H is H i g h n e s s t h e C o u n t d o e s d o e s h e ? ! To yo u COSETTE ( N o d s he a d ) : H e g ave m e th i s to o (s ho w s c o in ) JAM ES : H e d id ! T h e s p alpee n ! G i v e i t to m e ,

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