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PART OF THE PARTY

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PART OF THE PARTY: ETHNOGRAPHY AND REFLECTION OF THE EXPERIENCE OF ONE INDIVIDUAL IN A BONDAGE DISCIPLINE SADOMASOCHISM COMMUNITY

Thesis submitted in partial fulfillment of requirements for the degree of Master of Arts in Art Education

by Erica J. Brooks

Department of Art Education The School of the Art Institute of Chicago Spring, 2015

Thesis Committee: Adviser: Joy Bivins, Instructor, School of the Art Institute of Chicago Reader: Adam J. Greteman, Ph.D. Adjunct Assistant Professor, School of the Art Institute of Chicago

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ii Abstract

This thesis uses ethnography to explore blackness and the black identity through the experiences of one black gay man in a Bondage Discipline Sadomasochism (BDSM) community on the north side of Chicago. As an arts educator, ethnography allowed me to have intimate conversations and reflections about the intersections of race and identity. Through this project I asked questions such as: How does my participant navigate his own identity as a black person? What does black identity mean to my participant? Does his chosen community think about issues of representation as black individuals within wider society and BDSM communities? In this project, I worked with a subject and members of his community for eight weeks at Touché leather bar and my participant’s home, both on the north side of Chicago. This ethnography was conducted by interviewing my participant and his chosen community. Each interview was broken down into a different topic each week and included an exploration of how blackness and black identity influences family relationships, sexuality, and experience within BDSM communities. At the end of each interview, I created paintings, drawings, digital art, and digital photos as a way to reflect and showcase important conversations and experiences. With this project, I seek to investigate what black identity means for my subject and his community within their BDSM brotherhood. I hope to dissect the ways they navigate their own understandings of their sexuality, relationships, roles within BDSM, and black identity. Through ethnography, I want to show the benefits of art educators interviewing and having critical and meaningful conversations with different communities about race and identity.

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iii Acknowledgements

I want to send a special thanks to Walter and all of the members of the Onyx brotherhood. Thank you for sharing your stories and working with me. I am forever thankful. Thank you to my Mom and Dad for being inspirational and giving me support. Thanks to my grandparents for being my rock. Thanks to my friends and significant other for listening to me vent and cry through this process. Thank you to my professors for educating me and helping me become a better educator.

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iv Table of Contents

Abstract ..................................................................................................................................... ii Acknowledgements ........................................................................................................ iii Table of Contents ..................................................................................................................... iv Artist/Cultural Practice Statement.............................................................................................1 Annotated Bibliography.............................................................................................................6 Project Description...................................................................................................................13 Process Documentation............................................................................................................16 Analysis ...................................................................................................................................29 References ................................................................................................................................40 Appendix A: Weekly Activities ..............................................................................................41

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1 Artist/Cultural Practice Statement

This project, which explores black identity and community in a BDSM community, began out of curiosity and a bit of personal experience. Professors, fellow classmates, and anyone else who I talked to about this thesis idea wondered about my personal connection to the topic. I had a hard time answering the question. The connection did not fully come into existence until a personal experience that occurred in the summer of 2014. I had an experience in which I was dating a person whom I felt took advantage of me within the relationship. This person took a dominant sexual role in the relationship leaving me to feel emotionally and physically used. The individual I dated was white and I am black, which prompted me to think about the impact of race on my understanding of my personal sexuality, roles in sexual relationships, and power and control over my body. As a black woman, just being sexual or thinking about my sexuality in general felt like something over which I had no control. My sexuality seemed to always be connected to histories of slavery, negative portrayal by the media, and sexism. In a larger sense, my role as a black woman in society always felt placed into two very different categories: to please or represent myself as a sexual fantasy, or to be completely invisible and undesirable. ! Samhita Mukhopadhyay (2008) wrote eloquently about the fetishization and silencing of black women. Race and gender intersect in the media, and the stories told draw readily from the bank of racist and misogynist images we have available to create characters and narratives for us (black women) ... Women of color (WOC) are constructed as two opposing types of beings: the overtly sexual woman or the innocent victim who needs protection from the men in their own horridly misogynistic community. Given the

PART OF THE PARTY 2 history of slavery and oppression, all black women’s bodies were, and I would argue, still are, considered objects and possessions. (p.152-153) Part of the Party examines the experiences of Walter Houston III and members of his Bondage Discipline Sadomasochism (BDSM) community in Chicago. Although Walter is the main individual I interview and communicate with I also talk to other members of his community through out the process. My decision to work with the BDSM community Onyx, the longest existing leather club for people of color, is inspired by their strength as a community, openness to work with me, and their sense of empowerment as black gay men in BDSM. As a group that consists of only black men that identify as gay, they think about the intersections of blackness, sexual orientation, and masculinity. Onyx also thinks critically about many of the issues of domination and fetishization that I aim to investigate. This project was a way to have an open dialogue about our different experiences as black people regarding sexuality and race. I thought critically about the quote from Samhita Mukhopadhyay and I wondered if Water had conversations about race and domination in his own relationships or through Onyx. Did he or other members of Onyx deal with their own personal hang ups about their sexuality as black people? BDSM and Blackness Before I continue, it is important to describe the history of BDSM and roles that are part of BDSM. BDSM stands for Bondage Discipline Sadomasochism. Jacques (1993) describes the term sadomasochism: is a combination of "sadism" and "masochism" which were psychological concepts created by Richard von Krafft-Ebing to describe two different phenomena - sadism (enjoyment of inflicting pain) and masochism (enjoyment of receiving pain). Both

PART OF THE PARTY 3 terms are derived from literary figures - the Marquis de Sade (sadism) and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (masochism). ( p. 5-7) For this thesis I describe BDSM as a sexual interest identity. I choose this title because one of the most important aspects of BDSM is the element of choice. In BDSM an individual has the option to determine different aspects of their identity through choosing their titles, their clothing, and their community based on their interest and level of comfort. In BDSM individuals choose their roles. When roles are decided upon and all parties are in communication, each individual can focus on their limits and what they want to get out the experience. Alexis and Nova D (2000) list a few roles within BDSM: Dominant- The person who is given control in a consensual exchange of power. This term can refer to any gender. Submissive, Sub - One who surrenders control of his/her body and behavior (within pre-defined limitations) to another for erotic play. Master - A male that takes the dominant role in SM role-play. (female term Mistress). Slave - 1) In the scene community sometimes used loosely as another word for submissive. 2) A submissive involved in a committed relationship incorporating a shared slave/master fantasy. (p.1) This project also focuses on black identity and black community. In U.S. society notions of what it means to be black are clouded by the history of slavery, oppression, segregation, police brutality, and other injustices. Alongside this negative history the media, history books, and popular culture continue to empower stereotypes and racist attitudes towards black people and blackness. I describe black identity as an individual black persons understanding of their black identity outside of this history. For them as an individual what does it mean to be black? What does it mean to be part of a black community?

PART OF THE PARTY Henry Louis Gates Jr. (2012) talks about the complexities of black community:

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There are 40 million black people in this country, and there are 40 million ways to be black. When I gesture toward the myriad ways to be black, to act black, to feel black I do not mean to suggest that we are all of us in our own separate boxes, that one black like bears no relation to another. Of course not. We are not a monolith, but we are a community…It is a simple fact that sometime we define ourselves in terms of each other, and sometimes we do not. (p. IX) This quote touches upon the fact that although each black person has their own experiences and understanding of their black experience, black individuals are still a part of and affected by the realities of larger black community.! Thinking about all of these different identities, I wondered how Onyx and Walter dealt with discrimination as black gay men who are part of a BDSM community. How does the black racial identity affect BDSM experiences for Walter and Onyx? How does Walter express his racial identity in Onyx? Does Walter think about the history of slavery and issues power, and domination of the black body within the sexual interest identity of BDSM, that deal heavily with the body? How does Onyx deal with this history as a black BDSM community? Do sexual orientation identity and gender identity also influence other understanding of their experience? To think about these questions, I worked with Walter and Onyx members for a couple months beginning in June 2014. This project uses aspects of ethnography such as interviews to inform the production of visual media. My interviews include conversations about how race and blackness influences relationships, sexuality, self-esteem, and experiences within BDSM communities. Through interviewing Walter and other members of Onyx I was able to

PART OF THE PARTY 5 accomplish my research goal of exploring a narrative of a black individual, community, and blackness that is different and personal. The interviews allowed Walter and Onyx to share their experiences to an audience outside of their BDSM community. Although their interviews are conversations from a small community, they touch upon bigger issues and show the power, determination, and the intermingling of the black gay identity in BDSM.

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6 Annotated Bibliography

Race and Identity Friedman, J. , & Valenti, J. (2008) . Yes Means Yes: Vision of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press.

Friedman and Valenti’s book talks about dismantling shame and rape culture in the U.S. and hoping to reach around the world. This book hopes to change the exploitation and shame that is connected to female sexuality. Included in this book are writings from a plethora feminist writers who explore all aspects of rape, rape culture, shame, and sexuality.

This book is an important resource for all readers who want to critically dismantle many misconceptions about consent, sex, and rape from larger society. This book includes conversations about the intersections of race and sexuality, conversations about misogyny, verbal consent, and rethinking teachings about rape and sexuality. These conversations provide readers with a wide array of dialogue to show the need for a change in U.S. society’s acceptance of rape culture. This book helped me by providing examples of critical and open conversations about desire, sexuality, and how gender and race intersect during these conversations.

Friedman, J. (2011) . What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press.

PART OF THE PARTY 7 Friedman explores sex positivity for women in this book. Friedman includes in depth conversations, questions, and activities that help women understand their sexuality and feel more empowerment and less shame. Each activity discusses the impact that race, gender, teachings about sexuality, sexual orientation, and religion has on individual understandings of sex, shame, and sexuality.

Friedman offers a guide for women to explore their sexuality without shame or fear. Each activity allows readers to move at their own pace when completing each activity, making sure that they have examined their fears, dreams, and sexuality in a way that is positive and does not shame or judge. In my research, this text served as the basis for my interview questions with Walter.

Walker, R. (2012) . Black Cool: One Thousand Streams of Blackness. Brooklyn, NY: Soft Skull Press.

Walker explores the global impact of black style and culture. This book looks at unique and ground breaking black contemporary cultural icons throughout history and thinks critically about their journey and influence on the idea of what is cool in society. Walker invites black authors, poets, professors and musicians to tell their own stories about their experiences as black people and cultural influencers.

This book is great for readers who want to read about the many layers of black identity, culture, and history that expands beyond mainstream media representation. Walker

PART OF THE PARTY provides readers with a map of black culture from the past to the present and takes

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readers on a trip around historical cultural events that have shaped our world. Walkers invites readers to think critically about black culture and the idea of being black and cool. This book informed my work because it talks about the larger ideas of what it means to part of a black community, but also focuses on individual stories and histories. This book helped me talk about Walter’s identity as a black individual and then about his identity within his black community.

Ethnography and Art Education Davies, C.A. (1999) . Reflexive Ethnography. United Kingdom, LN: Routledge Publishing. Davies book describes the history of ethnography and reflexive ethnography. This book helps readers and future ethnographers insure that their research questions, methods, data collection, and analysis are reflexive. This book also explores ideas of of subjectivity and objectivity throughout the ethnographic process.

Davies book helps guide ethnographer that want to be reflexive by providing step by step methods and examples of ethnographers throughout history using reflexivity in their research. Davies asks readers to think about their own biases and identity when working with different communities to build reflective thought and analysis while conducting ethnographic studies. This book helped me think about my role as an ethnographer and avoid many of the pitfalls that traditional ethnography which include negative assumptions about the community I am working with.

PART OF THE PARTY 9 Hanley, M. S. , Sheppard. G. L. , Noblit, G. W. , & Barone, T. (2013) . Culturally Relevant Arts Education for Social Justice: A Way Out of No Way 1st Edition. United Kingdom, LDN: Routledge Publishing. Hanley and their colleagues provide culturally relevant and responsive lessons, ideas, and examples to educators and schools that want a more social justice environment in their schools. This book provides lessons that are creative, critical, and fight against the misconceptions about marginalized students. This book emphasizes the importance of educators, schools, and students working together through art to make changes at their schools and communities. This book is useful for teacher working in marginalized communities because the authors give concrete and innovative models for lessons that counter traditional teaching lessons including storytelling, hip hop, juvenile justice, and arts based inquires. The examples are also action based so educators can use them in their own classrooms readily. I used this book to find out new ways to think about collaborating with communities out side of my own and creating art and stories about realities of their lives. BDSM About the Leather Archives and Museum Website. (2015). In Leather Archives and Museum Retrieved August 2, 2015, from http://www.leatherarchives.org/about_.html

Leather Archives and Museum website tells visitors about the history of the leather, BDSM, and kink that the Leather Archive and Museum hope to preserve. This website

PART OF THE PARTY includes information about their collection, contemporary art gallery, library and

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archive, and current BDSM and leather events in Chicago. This website is an excellent source for students or educators researching leather, BDSM, and kink histories. I used this website to find out about different BDSM and leather groups in Chicago. This website informed my work because it helped me learn about important terminologies and histories within BDSM.

Definitions of Terms. ( n.d.). In squidge.org. Retrieved August 1, 2015, from https://www.squidge.org/novad/Primer/Definitions.html

This website page includes a list of some of the most important BDSM terms. This page is great for those researching BDSM roles, relationships, and history. This page not only includes list of BDSM related words, but also words about gender, sexuality, and consent. Having this list of terms was important during my initial introduction to BDSM because I am not a part of a BDSM community. This list also helped me understand more about Walter’s and member of Onyx’s identity in their BDSM community.

Jacques, T. (1993) . On The Safe Edge: A Manual for SM Play. Toronto, CA: Whole SM Publishing. Jacques examines the history misconceptions, and realities of bondage and sadomasochism play. This book is an effort to debunk many of the negative misconceptions about BDSM .This book is helpful for beginners interested in BDSM,

PART OF THE PARTY 11 veteran S&M individuals hoping to refresh their relationships, and any one hoping to learn more about BDSM play. Jacques offers a guide to safe and consensual sadomasochism play by giving the full history of BDSM today, examples of consensual BDSM and relationships, and techniques for safe play. Jacques wants readers and those interested and practicing BDSM to not feel fear or shame about their interest or experiences. The most important lesson of this book is that BDSM can be safe, sane, and consensual and a positive experience for all parties involved. Jacques book echoed many of the conversations I had with Walter about having safe and open BDSM relationships. This book taught me about the importance of conversation and roles in BDSM and helped me learn more about BDSM communities. Smith, M. J. (1983) . Black Men /White Men. San Francisco, CA: Gay Sunshine Press.

Smith talks about relationships between black and white gay men throughout history. This book includes stories, interviews, poems, and drawings about the influence of race, sexuality, community, religions, and society has on the relationship of black gay men and white gay men. This book also talks about many of the negative stereotypes that black and white gay men face within society because of their race, sexuality, or relationships together.

Smith gives readers contemporary stories about race and the intersections of homosexuality that readers can use to expand their own person understanding of race

PART OF THE PARTY 12 and sexuality. Each story is a window into the personal and inspirational story of men thinking about their personal experiences of the affects race has on their romantic experiences. This book was one of the only books that talked about the personal experiences of a black gay male in BDSM. Many of the sources I read about BDSM did not talk about identity. This book helped me understand the interplay of all of these identities in BDSM and how that influences a persons experience in BDSM.

The Artist Etienne (2015) In Leather Archives and Museum Retrieved August 2,2015, from link http://www.leatherarchives.org/etienne.html This particular page of this website talks about the artist Etienne, who was one of the most prolific BDSM and kink artists in history and helped start one of the first leather bars in Chicago, the Gold Coast. This page explores Etienne’s history and artwork and the important impact they have had BDSM here in Chicago and beyond. Similar to the LA&M website, Etienne’s work was my first introduction to BDSM and the art that came from the culture. Learning about Etienne influenced my decision to include my artwork in the ethnography and interview process.

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13 Project Description

The primary research method used for this project is ethnography. Traditionally ethnographers have worked in communities outside of their own identity or culture. Davies (1999) states that ethnographers spend an extended amount time with a group and use different methods to gather data. In ethnographic studies, there is one individual who acts as a chosen informant. This informant is willing to work more closely with the ethnographer on a continuous basis. For this project, Walter acted as my informant. Along with Walter, I had conversations with many of the Onyx brothers throughout (Davies,1999, p.78). In the book Reflexive Ethnography, Davies (1999) writes that in the 1960’s ethnographers Asad and Hymes criticized anthropological studies that used ethnography to further colonial expansion and ideology. Well-known anthropologists Malinowski, RadcliffeBrown, and Boas often overlooked the affects their colonial identity had on their ability to contextualize the realities of their informants lives. Instead of the ethnographic process being a collaboration with native informants and communities, their findings furthered racist colonial perceptions of the communities they studied. Davies continues to explain the concept of reflexivity that was created during the 1960s to revise this negative history of exploitation through anthropology and ethnography. Reflexivity requires ethnographers consider their own identities and histories when working with a community. Ethnographers are encouraged to think about their social connection with their subjects and avoid making assumptions about the culture or identity of their subjects (Davies,1999, p.11-17). Why Ethnography? The notion of reflexivity informed my position as an ethnographer in this research. Awareness of the racist and colonial history of ethnography and art history was my catalyst

PART OF THE PARTY 14 to combine some traditional ethnographic approaches and art to tell an empowering history of Walter. Reflexive ethnography was a way to have a dialogue about black identity and community and not make assumptions that my understanding of my black identity was the same Walter and members of Onyx. The art that I created through this project challenges viewers to reevaluate their presumptions about blackness in and outside BDSM. Traditionally, ethnographers use a few different approaches to interviewing their informants. These methods are unstructured interviews, structured interviews, semi structured interviews, and visual media approach. The ethnographic approaches I used for this project were the semi-structured interviewing method and visual media approach. The semi- structured method allowed me to work with Walter in a manner that was planned (scheduled meetings and subjects to be discussed) but also gave Walter the autonomy to say no or change any detail he felt uncomfortable with throughout process. As an ethnographer, my first concern was respecting Walter’s boundaries. Before each interview, I asked Walter what he was comfortable with and showed him all of the interview questions I planned to ask that week. Being transparent with Walter throughout the process, helped me to avoid the pitfalls of traditional ethnography, and shifting the project to fit my assumptions about Walter’s everyday life. The visual media approach was my second form of data collection. For each interview, I used the visual media approach to create oil and acrylic paintings, pencil and charcoal drawings, collage, and digital photography that encapsulated the mood and significance of each meeting. As an artist, I comprehend the world visually, so the visual media approach helped me paint a visual map of what happened during our eight-week interview process. This visual map aided in data collection and summarizing events with all

PART OF THE PARTY of the Onyx brothers in which I could not have written interview with each brother

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individually. My interview process was broken down into eight weeks of activities that included questions from the book What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety by Jaclyn Friedman. This book includes activities that actually asks deep questions about sexuality, relationship, race and gender and all of these question can be applied to individuals that do not identify as women. I tried to make it as collaborative as possible and allowed the subject to choose how he would want interviews to go, where Walter and members of Onyx would want to have me document them, or have them create artwork with me. Each activity (Appendix A) took place at either Walter’s home or Touché.

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16 Process Documentation

In 2014, one of my friends invited me to the Leather Archives and Museum (LA&M) a museum on the north side of Chicago that preserves the history of leather, BDSM, and fetish communities. At the time, I worked a few blocks away from LA&M and unknowingly passed the building dozens of times. The one thing that I remembered most about the building was a large sign with the outline of a leather boot that had the initials LA&M underneath. When my friend invited me to this familiar but still somewhat mysterious building I was hesitant to enter. What was this place all about? What would I find in this museum? I was greeted by Jakob VanLammerman, the archivist at LA&M. He was very welcoming and gave us a tour of the space. LA&M was a two story building that included an auditorium and library on the first floor, and a museum and archive space on the second floor. The auditorium was a darkly lit room with paintings of cartoon men in provocative poses. The paintings were not on canvas, but on large pieces of wood as if they were part of another structure. At the end of the auditorium there was a wall honoring Etienne, the creator of those paintings, Etienne born Domingo Orejudos. Etienne was a well know painter whose work depicted cartoonish versions of the male body dressed in leather, whips, and chains. His work was also described as comic book heroes caught in sexual situations. Etienne started drawing these figures as a teen and kept drawing them through adulthood. After meeting romantic partner, Chuck Renslow, Etienne published his first erotic art in the publication “Tomorrow’s Man.” A few years later Etienne and Chuck opened Gold Coast, a leather bar catering to homosexual patrons on the North Side of Chicago. Gold Coast is where Etienne painted his large size

PART OF THE PARTY 17 murals directly on the walls of the bar. After the closing of the Gold Coast many of Etienne’s murals were put on display at LA&M, still on their original wooden canvases. Jakob then took us to the second floor, which is the entrance to the museum. Signs at the entrance of the museum tell a little about the history of leather and show images from leather bars around the country. Walking into the museum, I was taken aback by the images around me. One wall was dedicated to pioneers in leather and BDSM. On another wall there were famous women, women of color, and people of color groups within BDSM and leather. This space was a great mix of the histories of many different groups and individuals. The room that shocked me the most, was a small space in the back that was an artifact room. There were objects such as whips, sex swings, and corsets that all seemed inappropriate within a museum setting. I had been used to seeing museums that avoided subjects like sex and sexuality, so seeing this museum display these artifacts was eye opening. The last stop on the tour was the gallery was contemporary art related to BDSM. The art was amazing and showed me the more current lifestyles and realities of those in leather and BDSM communities. By the end of the tour, LA&M had opened my eyes to the beauty and history of leather and BDSM. Leaving LA&M, I wanted to learn more about black communities in BDSM. Etienne’s art and this new found interest in Leather and BDSM led me to do this project about black BDSM communities and include art to tell the story. After my visit to LA&M, I reached out to Jakob and told him about my interest in interviewing black people and communities involved in BDSM. He directed me to Onyx, one of the most well- known black gay BDSM groups in the U.S. They have chapters across the country, monthly parties, and larges events each year. As I looked through Onyx’s website, it

PART OF THE PARTY 18 was a dark and intimidating space and I worried that I would be too afraid to email anyone within the organization. Who was I to try to enter their world? Why was this project important to me? What was I hoping to find? Although I was afraid, I contacted the secretary at Onyx telling them about my project. Along with reaching out to Onyx, I created a flyer, just in case I was rejected by Onyx.

Figure 1. Original flyer design. While I waited to hear back from Onyx, I passed out flyers (Figure 1) around the city and emailed other BDSM organizations for weeks without any luck. Email after email, equaled rejection followed by more rejection. Most of the BDSM organizations wanted to remain private and not open their doors to a graduate student not familiar with the culture. With each rejection, my confidence that this project would come to fruition dwindled. Then I finally heard back from the secretary of Onyx who invited me to their monthly meeting at a leather bar on the north side of Chicago. Meeting Onyx

PART OF THE PARTY 19 th I had my first visit with Onyx on June 27 , 2014. Onyx has their monthly meet and greet at the leather bar, Touché which is one of Chicago’s oldest leather bars and caters to many leather and BDSM groups in Chicago. Touché is only a few blocks away from LA&M, and I was even more nervous to enter this place than I was going to LA&M. It was a warm night and I saw three men dressed in leather outside of Touché. I asked them about Onyx and they directed me to the doorman. Next, I walked into a dimly lit bar filled with a large group of black men that were wearing matching leather vests, hats, boots, and chains. The leather vests and hats had spikes on them and had words Onyx on them in large silver lettering. The group looked intimidating. I was absolutely terrified to talk to anyone. Most of them stood tall above me and were so engrossed in conversation that they did not notice me standing next to them. After a minute or two, I worked up the courage to introduce myself to a few of the men. To my surprise each man was inviting and very friendly. They were eager to talk to me about why I was there that night. I told the group that I was looking to learn about power, dominance, and about black identity with this community. Many in the group were happy and ready to have a dialogue about these topics. Many of the brothers gave me phone numbers and emails to contact them if I wanted to talk more about Onyx and their personal experiences. I stayed for about thirty minutes, writing down personal emails, phone numbers, and taking notes about each persons personal experience within BDSM. Meeting Walter In July, I received an email from Walter, one of the Onyx brothers I met at Touché. Greetings Ms. Brooks. I am Walter Houston, we met at Touché with my Onyx Brothers this past June. It would be my pleasure to help you in anyway with your

BDSM culture

research. (Walter Houston III, Personal Communication, July 23 2014)!

PART OF THE PARTY 20 Through this email we planned our first meeting a week later. For this meeting we met at a Starbucks that was convenient for both of us to get to and was a about a mile away from Touché. I once again felt my nerves get the best of me as Walter met me at the entrance. We greeted each other and sat down at the table closest to the door. After introductions, my nerves calmed and I got to know Walter. Walter,53, was from Detroit. Most of his career was spent in the hospitality business. He moved to Chicago in 2013 with his husband. He describes himself as a quiet child and has always tried to be in control of his life. He identified himself as a black, gay, male. I talked to Walter about personal history and what led me to do this project about black identity and community within BDSM. I told him about my negative experiences with a person I had dated previously, and how it changed the way I thought about my own sexuality. Walter was easy to talk to and was open to listening to my story and was excited to work on this project with me. It was great to talk to him about his personal life and get to know the man I would soon be spending a large amount of my time with for the next few months. I wondered why he agreed to meet with me? Why did he want to share his story? What was he hoping to discover about himself through these interviews? Onyx Gathering A week after my first meeting with Walter, I had the privilege of meeting with the Onyx brothers at his home. Walter let me in, and I very shyly introduced myself again to the brothers that I had not met at Touché. Soon Sangria and food came out of nowhere. There was music and laughing. The gathering felt like one with long lost relatives, not one where a stranger invaded their space with an idea and a camera. After meals and drinks settled down, I began taking photos and filming. I slowly paced back and forth to the front of Walter’s

PART OF THE PARTY home, trying to document smiles, conversations, and most importantly, the feeling of the

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night. On the back porch is where I really began to understand a little bit about the rules of BDSM community and play within them. A few people were sitting outside around the back table, eating and drinking.. Four of the people were new pledges of Onyx, hoping to become members of the Onyx brotherhood. The pledges talked about few of the most important rules that they needed to know before beginning a BDSM relationship. It is important to discuss what partners want in a BDSM relationship. Individuals must take into account emotion roles/ relationships and power that is part of BDSM. This conversations with the pledges was the first time I was introduced to terms like play, domination, and submission in casual conversation. When I had done research about BDSM communities, the information and terminology I read was always very academic. Conversations with the pledges and me brought BDSM terms like consent and power from the abstract, to concrete concepts that are important and necessary in BDSM relationships.

PART OF THE PARTY Figure 2: Painting created as a reflection of the explanation of BDSM play.

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Play is not Casual (Figure 2) is the painting I created in response to the conversation on the back porch. I chose to make the painting pink to represent the lively and fun atmosphere and personality of Onyx. I placed the phrase ‘ Play is not casual’ in the middle with black bold letters to represent the very serious conversations about BDSM play and consent. The pledges talked about the fact that play is not casual. The term Safe, Sane, and Consensual works to make sure that relationships and consent within BDSM are not taken too casually and that there is a clear distinction of roles within BDSM play. When parties are clear on their roles and the rules surrounding them, there is less miscommunication, pain, or negative experiences during play. The phrase play is not casual is very important and I felt the message should be showcased within a reflective painting. On July 31st I had my first solo meeting with Walter. During this meeting, I asked questions about his relationships with his family. Walters full name is Walter Jeffery Houston III and he was named after his father. Walter did not have a close relationship with his father and was raised by his mother. Walter’s earliest memory was learning how to ride his bike with his grandfather. His family is large and very open minded and opinionated. Walter is very close with his family Walters told me “Family is first. No matter what you do. Take care of home first. Always eat together. Always say that you love them. Show them not tell them”. I asked questions about his family because I wanted to get to know Walter outside of his identity in Onyx. For me this project was about getting to know Walter as an individual as well as his experiences within BDSM. Figure 3 was the drawing I created to reflection on the importance of family to Walter.

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Figure 3: Drawing reflecting upon Walter’s quote about the importance of family. On August 9th 2014, I asked Walter questions about how his family influenced his understanding of his sexual orientation and sexuality. I chose questions from the book What You Really Really Want:"The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety"that asked the reader to think about how their family has influenced their understanding of sexuality. Questions included were “Something my family taught me about sexuality that I agree with is _____________” or “My family’s attitude about sexuality have been influenced by _______________” (p 27). I wanted to have this conversation because sexual orientation is complex and affect social circles and status in society. Walter’s mother was very open when talking to Walter and his siblings about sex, sexual orientation, and emotional and physical relationships. These conversations started when Walter was 14 years old and continued until he was older and told his mother he was homosexual. Walter stated that always comfortable discussing sexuality with his family and

PART OF THE PARTY 24 exploring different aspects of his sexuality throughout his life. Walter continued to tell me about his first understandings of his sexuality and romantic history. Walter has been married a few times. He has an ex wife and an ex husband and was involved with another woman after he divorced (from his ex wife). To back track that, was his first girlfriend in kindergarten. He wrote a note to her and gave her candy. They were sitting next to each other and then a little boy sat next to him. He remembered looking over at him and thinking the boy was cute. Walter felt the same way about boy as he felt about the girl. This experience was the first time he realized he had same sex attractions. On August 22, 2014 I met with Walter to do a photo shoot at Touché. Walter felt the most comfortable in this space, so we both agreed to meet there earlier in the afternoon when the bar would not be crowded. For this activity, I also asked Walter to dress in clothing that he felt represented his identity within Onyx. Walking in Touché, I had no idea what to expect. Walter arrived a few minutes after me, and led me back to a mid sized room in the back of Touché. This room was where many leather and BDSM groups meet to organize for their get monthly meetings. There were banners from leather and BDSM groups hanging along the walls and paintings of cartoon men in leather gear, similar to Etienne’s paintings at LA&M.

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Figure 4: Paintings that hang in Touché. Before the photoshoot, Walter told me about the importance of the clothing he was going to wear in the photo-shoot. Once a person has officially become an Onyx brother after a long initiation process, he is given the Onyx vest. This vest is black leather vest that with the Onyx logo on the back of it (Figure 5), similar to the ones I saw when I first came to Touché. Along with the vest, many of the brothers wear leather hats, studded wristbands, and sunglasses. Walter brought a whip and used it in many of the photos. The whip is part of his play experience and shows his dominance within Onyx. Walter Describes himself as a Dom or dominant within his BDSM relationship, and this influences the way that he acts and dresses within the group.

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Figure 5: Photos taken at Touché. On September 8th,2014 we began our discussions of race and stereotypes and how race influenced his BDSM experience. For this interview, I asked Walter to write a list with of positive and negative stereotypes about the racial group he identified with and then write the most common stereotypes about that racial group (Friedman, 2011, p.94). I decided to ask Walter questions about race and stereotypes because my personal understanding of negative and positive stereotypes or experience of blackness may differ completely from Walter’s black experience. Also his experience as a black male may be very different from my experience as a black woman so it is also important to ask for that reason. Walter identifies as black and listed negative stereotypes about black people he has heard in his lifetime. This stereotypes included: lazy, up to no good, uneducated, onconforming, hedonistic, disrespectful, peacocks, non-family orientated and animalistic.!

PART OF THE PARTY Then we went back and talked about some of the more positive stereotypes about black

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people: gifted, talented, strong, community oriented, conforming, prideful, exotic/sexual, can handle adversity, and able to keep real emotions hidden. For the next part of the interview, I asked my own questions about the black experience from Walter’s perspective. I asked Walter about the stereotypes he listed and if he felt that they have been solidified in U.S. society. Walter believed that many black people have lived up to many of the negative stereotypes that he listed. Walter believes that to fight against racism and these negative stereotypes black people need someone who can act as a leader similar to Martin Luther King Jr. for this generation. Walter felt that the lack of a voice within the larger black community is the reason that many negative stereotypes have remained.

Figure 6: Collage thinking about black identity. Untitled (Figure 6) is the collage I created as a reflection on conversations about race with Walter following our conversations about race. This collage focuses on the some of the positive stereotypes that Walter mentioned in his interview. I focused on the the phrases

PART OF THE PARTY 28 community oriented, strong, and able to keep real emotions hidden. The image at the bottom of a group of black men walking in a group represented a community of black men. The faces on the tops that are serious are used to portray strength but also mystery. The flowers placed on top of all of the images also represents keeping emotions hidden in the background. My final interview with Walter was on October 2nd, 2015. In this interview I talked to Walter about his positive experiences in BDSM. Walter told me about his first experiences in BDSM, and how to have a safe and consensual experience. Around the age of sixteen had an affair with his football coach who introduced him to the fetish culture. This experience with the football coach was is first exploration into BDSM. Although he vocally consented to the experience, he was too young to truly understand the gravity of what he agreed to. It was not until he was in his late forties that he finally felt that he was ready to give a name to his experiences in BDSM and take on his dominant title. Walter stated that a good BDSM relationship means all individuals are open-minded and able to negotiate on what they want from the experience. Walter told me the terms that he felt were most important within BDSM were safe, secure, sane, and spiritual. When Walter chooses submissive partners that care about their health, mental and emotional well being before he chooses them as a BDSM partner.

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29 Analysis

For Walter and many of the brothers of Onyx, BDSM provided a space were they felt empowered as black men. Being part of Onyx has become an important part of Walter’s and his other brother s identities. Walter described his feelings of empowerment during our final interview about his BDSM experience. “I don’t care about the opinion of others. I walk proud in my own skin. I can say I chose the path I have chosen because I am at my happiest in it. Fetish culture is a healthy lifestyle. It is healthy, open, secure. It is freeing and liberating. I feel all these ways without apology” (Walter Houston III, Personal Communication, 2014). Walter, a few of the members of Onyx, and I discussed the power they felt reclaiming words that have had negative connotations for black people including master, slave, and dominant and submissive. A few months after these conversations, I began to wonder if reclaiming these words was necessary to feel powerful within BDSM. If these terms were not part of BDSM, in what other ways would power be expressed? If we examined ideas of empowerment for black people outside of BDSM, would reclamation of master, slave, dominant and submissive aid in the fight against self-hatred and shame because of slavery and oppression? In this section, I examine the history of BDSM, a unique experience of a black gay man in BDSM, and the ways that Walter and a few of his Onyx brothers feel empowered in his BDSM community as black men. I will contextualize what my conversation about race and BDSM meant for me on a personal level, what it meant for Walter. And finally my discussion will investigate ways black people can utilize BDSM practices to have conversations about race, power, and sexuality. After my interviews with Walter, I did more searching for interviews or stories about

PART OF THE PARTY black people in BDSM. I wanted to gain insight on more than just Walter’s and Onyx

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brothers black experiences in BDSM. How did other black gay men navigate BDSM spaces? The book, Black Men/White Men by Michael J. Smith, is a culmination of stories from black gay men that discuss sexuality and race. One interview in particular was with Wayne Alexandre, a black gay masochist. In this interview, Wayne and the interviewer have a dialogue about Wayne’s identity as a black gay man in S&M. Wayne explains in this interview that there are many black people that are interested in S&M, but are not willing to be out in the open with their interest. Wayne continues to explain that those involved in S&M are socially ostracized, even more so than if they are black and gay. Wayne (1999) discusses his multiple identities and lack of acceptance that he experienced from each different intersecting community by stating which he identified. Everything about me separates me from another part of me. I am a Black male homosexual sadomasochist. Black straight people don’t generally accept homosexuals readily…Black faggots don’t accept people who are into s/m. White people don’t accept black people. And when it’s complicated by Blackness, you end up having to fight very hard just living… The reality of it is that if you are born Black in America, then you suffer from it . (p.78-83) Wayne, Walter, and members of Onyx have had to juggle each identity and critically consider what each meant for their individual lives. Wayne found his strength in his black gay masochist identity by being proud and unapologetic throughout his life. Wayne, similar to Walter and the Onyx brotherhood are vocal about their struggles, triumphs, and their assuredness in their identities. Wayne, Walter, and Onyx understood that they are not the only people that have to deal with discrimination or questions about their identity. They

PART OF THE PARTY know that it is part of a larger human struggle. Wayne further states,

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If you are strong enough and have thick skin, you’ll get along; I don’t like the fact that you have to develop a thick skin to survive if you’re different. That’s what’s so important about identifying myself as Black homosexual masochist! I am simply what I am! . (p. 78-83) Like Wayne, Walter and brothers in Onyx deal with racial discrimination in BDSM communities. My conversations with Walter and Onyx expand upon these issues and investigate how BDSM still remains an empowering space for them as black people despite discrimination. Although they feel empowered as black people, Wayne points out that other black people outside of BDSM, may not feel the same way about the culture. In my interviews with Walter, he explained that he had conversations with other black people interested in BDSM. Ultimately, many of those individuals did not want to use terms like master and slave or be physically whipped or tied up so they opted to not explore BDSM. Onyx as a Safe Space Onyx provides its members a space for them as black men to explore their sexuality and intersections of blackness and BDSM. As a black BDSM community, the history of slavery, domination, and exclusion are realities for Onyx. Walter and many of his brothers have gone to BDSM community events where they were the only people of color, at these event they felt either invisible and not welcome, or objectified and fetishized because of their skin color. Onyx was founded to give black men in BDSM a space to be seen as individuals and cater to black culture, history, and needs. Some BDSM communities feel that Onyx is a separatist group that alienates non-black BDSM communities or individuals. Walter told me about an experience he had in a leather club in Detroit. Walter and a

PART OF THE PARTY few other Onyx brothers went to a local bar dressed in their Onyx gear for a photo-shoot

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happening there. Many of the white and black patrons at the bar were rude and uninviting to them. A few days later, Walter found out that the owner of the bar got complaints that the space was catering to black BDSM groups only. Many people in BDSM, even other black people, have viewed Onyx as a threat because they feel that Onyx alienates anyone that is not a part of the group. Walter explained that there are black men in BDSM that do not interact with other black people, in fear that they will be lumped together with an all black BDSM community. I was perplexed to find out that black people in BDSM communities would avoid each other. I assumed that all black people in BDSM would bond as a community, because they are such a small minority. Walter explained to me that Onyx’s mission is about representation, not exclusion. Onyx is one of the first communities that Walter felt he has been represented as an individual, and not just his skin color. Walter talked about what Onyx provides black men in BDSM We want to represent more than just skin color. You are more than your skin color. You are more than just a black man. we fit into the culture beyond just being black”. I drew More Than Just a Black man (Figure 7) because these words had a powerful impact on me. This quote revealed to me the fine line that Onyx has walked as black men in BDSM. On one hand, Onyx has had to fight for representation and fair treatment as black men in predominately white BDSM spaces, and on the other hand want to be recognized for more than just racial identity. Although, Onyx has to navigate this dual reality, they as a group are a strong community that has increased visibility of the black presence in BDSM. Onyx is one of the first black groups to be represented at International Mr. Leather, an international conference that showcases leather, BDSM, and fetish communities. Onyx has monthly nights

PART OF THE PARTY and invites individuals that are not part of BDSM or where people of color are invited to

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celebrate and get to know the Onyx brotherhood. For the Onyx brotherhood their sense of empowerment stems from having the courage to proud of who they are.

Figure 7: Quote from Walter about representation in Onyx. Personal Empowerment for Walter and Onyx In a personal conversation with Walter, I inquired about his personal empowerment through BDSM. I asked Walter if the history of slavery and domination of the black body had an effect on his BDSM experience. For Walter BDSM roles of master, slave, dominant, and submissive helped him reclaim this history and empower himself as a black man. During slavery black people had no rights over their body and no choice in their role in society. Through BDSM, Walter can identify as a master and physically and mentally dominate a

PART OF THE PARTY submissive individual.

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Why did Walter identify as a master, but not a slave? What does this identity provide for Walter that the others do not? I thought back to some of my first interviews with him about his family. Walter was the oldest of eight children. As the oldest child, he acted as an authority figure. Throughout his life Walter had always chosen a dominant role, including within his romantic and work relationships. For Walter, being a Dom or a master was part of his identity before he came to BDSM. As much as BDSM provided a space for him as a black man to be in control as a master, being a master aligned with his personality and understanding of his place in the world. One of my last conversations with Walter and members of the Onyx brotherhood I attended an event called demonstrations. Demonstrations are when the newest brothers accepted into Onyx demonstrate or act out BDSM play in small groups. This event included brother Cedric and a few others soon to be new Onyx brothers. On this night, I gathered in the large back room at Touch , and filmed and took photos at this demonstration. The first demonstration acted out was flogging. Cedric provided the introduction to the history and importance of flogging in BDSM play and Onyx. Flogging was described as a form of whipping or caning. It was also a form of judicial punishment based on the means of maintaining discipline in schools, prisons, military forces, and private homes. Cedric pointed out that in the past flogging was a way to keep slaves in line and has different implications for black men in BDSM. For black people in BDSM, it is not a form of punishment, but falls under the category of impact play. Impact play was explained as a sexual practice of the sub being repeatedly being hit or flogged by the Dom for sexual gratification. Different types of tools were used for flogging, including hands, whips, rods

PART OF THE PARTY and sticks there were very specific places that a Doms are instructed to hit including the

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upper back, the inner thigh, lower thigh, and the chest area. (Cedric, Personal Communication, September 27, 2014). The next part of the demonstration was the flogging of a veteran Onyx brother by a new inductee. While the demonstration took place, the older Onyx brothers talked about the importance of flogging safely. They directed the Dom to be gentle and to avoid using too much force. Flogging and play similar to this is another fine line that black men in BDSM have to walk. Dom’s and sub’s have to be conscious of this history of flogging used as a punishment for black people and make sure that flogging is not used as a means of punishment but as an outlet for sexual pleasure. Similar to the Walter’s choice to identity as a master, an Onyx brother can choose to be submissive and to be flogged by a Dom, while still having the power to stop when they feel uncomfortable. Personal Meaning My conversations with Walter and Onyx have made a huge impact on me as a black woman. After each interview with Walter, I learned something new about myself. One particular conversation has made a lasting imprint on me. Walter told me that I should be worshipped. I assumed he meant in a way that related to BDSM and that I should become a mistress and have a sub worshipping the ground I walked upon. As we continued to talk, what he said meant so much more. He told me that as a black woman, I had power and worth. In BDSM communities, black women are often dominant and powerful, because they know their own personal worth as black women and as human beings. These words hit close to home. Throughout my life I received an influx of messages that told me that black women

PART OF THE PARTY were worthless. Black women were to be dominated and had no voice. Walter seemed to

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recognize my pain and my conversations with him helped me realize that these messages were not true. Walter has become a father figure to me. The way he lived his life without apology has set a model for my educational practice and personal life. My last interview with Walter was a debrief on what this project meant to him. He told me that this project gave him a chance to have a dialogue about his experiences as a black man in BDSM. Walter told me that there were not many written stories or images focusing on black people in BDSM, and this was his chance to educate people about his culture. Walter felt that it was important for anyone reading his story to know that he and the men in Onyx have a rich life within in and outside of BDSM. They are more than just Doms or subs, or men dressed in leather. They have families and friends that they care about and are passionate about educating people about BDSM. Beyond Walter and Onyx This project started as an exploration of blackness and black identity. I thought that by working with one black community, I would discover a one size fits all guide that would empower all black people. Although, black people have been impacted by the realities of oppression and racism historically and currently, each individual black person or community deals with this differently. The most valuable thing I learned through my time with Walter and Onyx is that as black people we do not have to live within the small narrative that is painted for us by history and the media. As black people, it is important to explore personal identity beyond race to find out who we are as individuals. Walter has a strong sense of his personal identity. He is well aware of many of the negative stereotypes that are projected upon black men, but he dos not let that dictate how he lives his life. While being assured as

PART OF THE PARTY 37 person might not not be enough to stop oppression or racism, it is a critical tool for individual black people who deal with low self-esteem because of these stressors. Walter and members of Onyx use BDSM as an outlet to have conversations about race, but BDSM might not be the right fit for another black person. What can translate to other black people is the sense of community Onyx has as black men. The men of Onyx are brothers first and foremost. They know about each other s fears, strengths, weakness, hopes and dreams. An interest in BDSM is what introduced these men originally, but the brotherhood is what bonds them together. Onyx is a powerful example of a black community that is empowered and positive. The media perpetuates the myth that black communities are negative and not a place of empowerment. Building community as black people can be a small act of strength and rebellion against the affects of the lies perpetuated by media and histories of oppression and racism that affect black people today. Conclusion As an arts educator, I will use this project to educate audiences about different aspects of Walter, Onyx, and blackness BDSM through art and ethnography. I believe that using reflexive ethnography gives arts educators a multi faceted platform to have important conversations about identity and community. Through reflexive ethnography, arts educators can explore topics that are relevant to their own personal experiences, while simultaneously stepping outside of themselves to examine another individual s reality. Reflexive ethnography also utilizes art to educate and help viewers and learners visualize these realities. !

During my graduate education, many of my classes discussed the intersections of

personal identity, race, gender, sexuality and how artists and arts educators have engaged

PART OF THE PARTY 38 these subjects. The art and arts educators that impacted me the most were the individuals that utilized storytelling and ethnographies to contextualize larger societal issues. Those stories were about the arts educator as an individual, their artistic process, and about their community. Hanley, Sheppard, Noblit, & Barone (2013) book Culturally Relevant Art Education for Social Justice: A Way Out of No Way 1st Edition talked about ways to use storytelling to empower marginalized youth. In the chapter Storytelling for Social Justice, storytelling is used to discuss and dissect the effects of racism on youth of color through narratives. The Storytelling Project Model described four different types of storytelling: stock stories, concealed stories, resistance stories, and emerging and transforming. These types of stories focus on the emerging and transforming stories and combatting stock stories that help continue well-established racist narratives. These methods focus on dialogue, community and collaboration to tell new narratives about racial identity (Hanley et al., 2013, p.15-17). I propose that the field of art education encourage art educators to utilize methods like reflexive ethnography and storytelling to bring many of the conversations about identity, race, gender, and other subjects out of the academic realm, and into more action-based dialogues with other art educators and communities. Instead of spending classes theorizing, art educators can get out into communities and create art, share stories, and dialogue about these subjects. Reflexivity allows art educators to consider how their identity influences their work within the communities they may choose to work with in the future. Reflexivity also ensures that if an art educator works with a community, that the community members are able to tell stories that are true to their everyday personal experiences.

PART OF THE PARTY In the future, I hope that art educators step out of the classroom and work with

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communities that have been marginalized throughout history. Art educators can collaborate with different communities to tell personal stories through of art, creativity, storytelling, and reflexivity.

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40 References

About the Leather Archives and Museum Website. (2015). In Leather Archives and Museum Retrieved August 2, 2015, from http://www.leatherarchives.org/about_.html

Davies, C.A. (1999) . Reflexive Ethnography. United Kingdom, LN: Routledge Publishing. Definitions of Terms. ( n.d.). In squidge.org. Retrieved August 1, 2015, from https://www.squidge.org/novad/Primer/Definitions.html Friedman, J. , & Valenti, J. (2008) . Yes Means Yes: Vision of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press. Friedman, J. (2011) . What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press. Hanley, M. S. , Sheppard. G. L. , Noblit, G. W. , & Barone, T. (2013) . Culturally Relevant Arts Education for Social Justice: A Way Out of No Way 1st Edition. United Kingdom, LDN: Routledge Publishing. Jacques, T. (1993) . On The Safe Edge: A Manual for SM Play. Toronto, CA: Whole SM Publishing. Smith, M. J. (1983) . Black Men /White Men. San Francisco, CA: Gay Sunshine Press. The Artist Etienne (2015) In Leather Archives and Museum Retrieved August 2,2015, from link http://www.leatherarchives.org/etienne.html Walker, R. (2012) . Black Cool: One Thousand Streams of Blackness. Brooklyn, NY: Soft Skull Press.

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41 Appendix A: Weekly Activities

Meeting One: This meeting was introductions and signing of consent forms. * Attached in appendix. Meeting Two This meeting was spent photographing and talking to Walter and his ONYX brothers. Meeting Three and Four During these meetings, we talked about what Walter’s family taught him about sex, sexuality, and relationship. Meeting Five and Six These meetings were about sexual identity and sexual orientation. Meeting Seven and Eight These meetings were about racial identity, stereotypes, fetishization, and all things dealing with race and race relations within BDSM. Meeting Nine, Ten, and Eleven Meeting Nine: I did figure drawings of Walter and talked to him about the project. Meeting Ten: Walter invited two or three of his closest friends and discussed BDSM histories and experiences. For this meeting I was asked to not take notes by Walter. Meeting Eleven: Walter decided how to document this experience. This day he chose to do a photoshoot with the Onyx Brothers. Meeting Twelve During this meeting we talked about the history and terms within BDSM culture. Meeting Thirteen

PART OF THE PARTY 42 This was time to debrief and talk about everything that has happened also looking over and listening to interviews, photos, and drawings that I have taken.