Test 1, Cambridge ielts 7. Task 2: Although genetic properties do not grab a
headline the headlines as frequently as many other features do, it does not mean
...
Test 1, Cambridge ielts 7. Task 2: Although genetic properties do not grab a headline the headlines as frequently as many other features do, it does not mean that it is less serious. As a matter of fact, some people are concerned that a certain gift of sport or music is innate, whereas many other citizens believe that the role of teaching is much more important for making a good athlete or musician. In my opinion, teaching and natural talents have their own individual roles. Therefore, for having a handy and productive result regarding sport or music, both options should carry out with each other. People should first recognize that these days teaching contributes people to prepare in sport and music, in particular, though it cannot be the sole reason to promote in a specific way. The primary reason is that doing so leads not only to realize talents soon but also to promote them better. As a result, the role of education in terms of sport and music is inevitable. Thereby paying more attention to teaching for having an excellent sports person or musician is indispensable. Understanding innate features has other implications. People’s gifts for particular talents give them incentives to follow them. The Third world countries, for instance, pay more attention to genetic features in humans, whereas teaching is taken into account as an impotent factor close to genetic factors in other cultures (western countries). The Examples of this kind are many. Consequently, the more natural talents you have, the more achievements you might attain. As shown from the above discussion, one can conclude that focusing on either gene or teaching regarding having to be a good musician or athlete is too narrow an approach and would not have desired consequences. Therefore, it is time to consider both factors to have outstanding musician and sports people. TA: 7 CC: 6‐ LR: 6 GRA: 6 >>> Overall: 6 The most remarkable problem with your writing is with your cohesion. You have strung your sentences to each other, but the flow from one to the next one is not smooth enough. Also, you need better and more suitable words and collocations to achieve a higher score.
Comment [Afarinesh1]: The thesis statement is vague! The paraphrasing might as well not interfere with the communication. Comment [Afarinesh2]: Not suitable collocation!
Comment [Afarinesh3]: The referents are too vague.
Comment [Afarinesh4]: ????
Task 1: The table compares the consumer expenditure of some items in five different nations, namely Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey, in 2002. As can be seen from the table, the most spending in five countries belongs to Food/Drinks/Tobacco. In following, Clothing/Footwear and leisure/Education are close behind respectively. The Most majority of highest spending in Turkey and Ireland, for example, goes to foods, drinks and tobacco, with approximately 32 and 29% respectively, whereas the percentage of consumer expenditure in other countries almost halved in proportion to other nations mentioned. In terms of Clothing and Footwear, the pattern is was a little different rather from than Food/ Drinks/Tobacco. In this item, the highest percentage goes to Italy, under one out of ten. However, the other countries have had lower percentages, around 6%. The lowest percentage amongst items is was received by reaction recreation? and teaching, all of them which in five nations are were under 4.5 %. To sum up, the highest amount of spending regarding Food/Drinks/Tobacco and Leisure/Education was consumed spent by Turkish people. However, turning to Clothing/Footwear, this amount consumedthe highest percentage was spent by Italians. TA: 8 CC: 7 LR: 6 GRA: 6+ >>> Overall: 6.5 Be more careful with your collocations and tenses used in this task. Corrected and Commented by: Hamed Mohammad Hosseini