hardly thought about her anymore, being preoccupied with Ike's recent death and
Jesse's ...... Buck looked up to the sky as he inhaled the scent of the night.
“The Hunter, Hunted and The Huntress” By Dian
Chapter 1 He sat in her arms, cradling her fingers in his. He could feel the warmth of the day on his face, and felt her shadow as she closed in for a kiss. When he opened his eyes, she was staring back, her face sad. He knew why. "I don't want to leave you," he said, eagerly sitting up. She shook her head, "No, you must. This is for your people. You must go." A worried frown crossed his face, "What about you? And our baby? How can I leave you like this?" He shook his head, "Ten Bears will be moving the whole tribe to safer ground. I can't leave you alone." "I will be alright," she said, kissing him reassuringly. He still wasn't convinced,” How will I find you when it's over?" "Do not worry," she answered, “I will find you." "But..." "Shh...," she brushed her fingers across his lips. “You must have faith in us, in our love. We will be together again somehow. Our love will give us hope." She patted her stomach that had grown over the last six months. He looked at their unborn child, the child that he had always wanted. His gaze slowly fell on the necklace around her neck. The white heart pendant was glistening in the light. Like glimmering hope, he thought. He fingered the heart. “Remember to give this to her. I want her to know that her father loves her." "I promise," she said, embracing him for the last time. Teaspoon sat up in his bed, slightly gasping for air. His forehead was sprinkled with sweat in the nightly heat of the summer. The feeling of her embrace was still lingering inside. He rubbed his eyes, vividly remembering the dream the way that it had happened. Why? Why had he dreamt it? He hardly thought about her anymore, being preoccupied with Ike's recent death and Jesse's arrival. So why was he thinking about her now? He buried his head into his hands, pondering the question. The white heart around his neck glistened in the moonlight, her green eyes haunting his mind.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Buck moved around carefully, avoiding Thompkins' way. Even with Jimmy, Rachel and the other riders around, he was still cautious of the bigoted man. From where he was, he could hear the Kid teasing Jimmy. "So, how 'bout it, Jimmy? Ground pig's feet?" Kid was saying. "Ew, what's that for, Jimmy?" asked a disgusted Jesse, wrinkling his nose. "Don't ask," Jimmy answered, wincing at the memory of his toothache, when Teaspoon made him wear the pungent packet for days. "You'd better put that away 'fore I make sure you need to wear it." Kid laughed, amused. Buck smiled, remembering seeing Jimmy recoil in horror when they wanted him to go the dentist. Jimmy had caused some problems at the dentist, making the poor old man faint. In fact, James Butler Hickok caused trouble almost everywhere he went, including Thompkins' store. This time, Buck hoped for nothing to happen, intentional or not. Unfortunately, Thompkins had other plans. As he walked past Buck, he made sure to bump into his shoulder, making the lean Indian stumble. He also accidentally stepped on Buck's foot twice, making sure that the other riders didn't see. Unluckily, Jimmy had seen it, and was about to confront the old man, when Buck motioned for him to stay back. He didn't want Thompkins to report his friends, especially Jimmy, to Teaspoon again. Masking his anger, Buck calmly walked to the counter to pay for the herb packet in his hand. As he approached the counter, he noticed a young man entering the store. The man had his head bowed and looked a bit awkward in his large clothes. Buck's eyes narrowed, sensing something that was out place, but his thoughts were disrupted as Thompkins painfully bumped into his shoulder. It was obvious and deliberate to everyone in the store, including the man who just entered. "How much is this?" Buck asked politely as he could, gritting his teeth. Much to his annoyance, Thompkins ignored him and, instead, turned to the other customer at the counter. As Thompkins handed the shocked man his change, Buck could see Jimmy advancing towards the counter, his face set. Buck was about to warn Jimmy, but stopped when the man beside him confronted Thompkins.
"I believe you owe this man an apology," the man said to Thompkins. Buck heard Thompkins grunt, "What for? I don't owe no Injun an apology." Jimmy had had enough and was about to make him apologize the hard way, when the man's voice rose. "Whoever he may be, you'd better apologize before you regret it," he said menacingly. Everyone could hear the danger in his voice. Thompkins narrowed his eyes at the man, "Now you listen here, boy, you'd better be careful of what you say, cos people might start to think that you're an Injun lover." The young man stared back calmly, "Should I be frightened?" It was such a simple question, but it hit Thompkins speechless. The man took his purchase, not yet done with Thompkins, "No, you know what frightens me more are your manners and lack of respect for humans, Mr. Thompkins. And I, for one, will ensure you that you will lose some very good customers if you don't apologize now." Thompkins, obviously taken aback by the man's threat, cast his eyes downwards and mumbled an apology to Buck, who, shocked as he was, managed to utter a polite response. The man smiled and left without saying another word. Everyone else in the store was shocked at the confrontation, with wide eyes and amused smiles slowly creeping up their faces. Jimmy, letting out his breath after he realized that he had held it for so long, said to Buck, "Well, whaddya waiting for? Go and thank him!" Buck snapped out of his shock and immediately bolted out the after the man. He saw the man's worn brown coat not far off. "Mister! Wait up!" he called, hoping to get the man's attention. The man pretended not to have heard Buck as he pulled his large coat around him. Suddenly, he felt someone's hand on his arm, turning him around. It was the Indian from the store. Buck was about to thank the man, when he noticed something wrong. Then, it dawned on him. The man's features were young and soft. The green eyes stared back at Buck, wide with fear at his recognition. "You're...you..." Buck couldn't finish.
The man turned and fled, disappearing in the crowd. Buck couldn't move, stunned. Those eyes kept flashing in his mind. Her beautiful and soft eyes that pierced into his soul. Buck rejoined his friends outside the store, glad that they didn't see what had happened. "So," Jesse asked, "Did you get to thank him?" "Uh, yeah," Buck lied, wondering if he should tell them about the woman. He decided against it, after looking at Lou, who was really Louise McCloud. He figured that the woman was probably doing exactly what Lou had done, dress up as a man to get a job. Buck looked around one more time before they left, hoping to see the woman. This time, to apologize. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Dinner that night was noisier than usual, as everyone talked about the incident at Thompkins' store. Buck shifted uneasily in his seat as he heard his friends talk about the man. Jesse was telling Cody and Teaspoon what had happened, as they were doing their chores at the way station at that time. Cody was listening intently, whereas, Teaspoon had his mind on other things. Cody's amusement was evident as he heard of how Thompkins was undermined in his own store. "You shoulda seen how Thompkins was after you ran out, Buck," Jesse said, "He was as meek as a lamb." All the riders laughed at the thought of an obedient Thompkins, except Buck, who smiled awkwardly. Cody was the first one to stop laughing as he said, "Well, it's nice to know that there's another brave, heroic and modest person like me in this world." "Aw, get off it, Cody," Jimmy cried. "What?" Cody asked, pretending to be shocked, "I am brave, heroic and modest, not to mention good-looking too." Even Rachel had to laugh at this. Teaspoon, who had basically understood what was going on, cleared his throat, "Now, I don't want any of you laughing at Thompkins like that. No
doubt he deserves it sometimes (Noah rolled his eyes), but we gotta understand that he's just a little bit...harder than the rest of us." "Well, yeah Teaspoon," Lou began, "But it's good knowing that someone in this town can knock some sense of respect in him to make him...softer." "Baa... baa..." Noah joked, sending the whole table into laughter, this time including Buck and Teaspoon.
Chapter 2 The next morning, Rachel looked out the window to see the riders at work fixing the broken fence. Teaspoon was there, instructing them. She recalled his silence at dinner last night. She felt that he had drifted away, his mind full of something else. Her gaze slowly wandered to Buck, who, she also noticed, seemed quiet last night. She thought that he was still thinking about Ike. The two of them had been inseparable, and Ike's death had brought nothing but pain to Buck. Maybe yesterday's incident brought back another memory of him, Rachel thought sadly. She sighed. Something was going on, but what? Buck wiped the sweat from his forehead, his sun kissed skin shining in the sunlight. He, like most of the other riders, was shirtless, but still suffered the merciless heat upon them. He looked at Lou wearing a shirt, and felt a bit sorry that she had to endure this. Teaspoon had already said that she could stay inside if she wanted, but she insisted on helping. Lou felt grateful to Teaspoon for accepting her femininity, and did not want anyone to think that she was incapable. Thinking about Lou made him think about the woman from yesterday. He was sure that she had disguised herself for her job, like Lou, and he hoped that nothing bad would happen that would reveal her identity. He hoped that he could see her again, to thank her and explain that her secret was safe. He found himself wondering if she was thinking about him, and almost laughed out loud. Why should she be thinking about me? he wondered. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Alexandria looked into the mirror as she pulled her hair back into a tail. She thought it better not to comb her hair so she could look more masculine. She just hoped that the Indian had not told the whole town who she was. She needed to keep her identity a secret from those men.
She couldn't risk her identity until she had found him. If I can find him, she thought, the memory of those cruel men crawling up her spine. She dusted her old coat and took up the flyer she had gotten from Franklin's store in Missouri. 'Riders Wanted', the flyer wrote. She looked at her reflection for the last time, "Pony Express, get ready for Alex the Huntress." *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Buck was out on a run when the new horses arrived. The other riders had a tough time rounding them up, especially a spirited young foal who had just reached maturity. Teaspoon was at the office in town and was unable to help them with the horses. He relied on the Kid and Cody to handle things while he and Jimmy were away. Rachel tried to help them out, when she noticed a rider coming towards them. Lou had also noticed the rider and shouted, "Rider comin'! " Kid squinted his eyes, trying to recognise the rider as he approached them. What no? he thought. The rider dismounted and Lou immediately recognised the man from Thompkins' store.
He approached them, and Lou realized that he was wearing glasses this time. His eyes widened slightly as he remembered them from the store. "Good afternoon, sir," Rachel greeted him, "Can we help you?" "Uh, good day to you too," he said, "My name is Alex. Is this the Pony Express Station?" "Yeah," Noah said as he approached them, "You're the guy from Thompkins store, right?" The man nodded, taking off his hat, "Yes, I s'pose I am. Are you Teaspoon?" "Teaspoon's not here right now," Cody replied, "Are you really the man who gave that old (Cody used a word that made Lou say "Cody!") a piece of your mind? Well, pleased to meet you, sir. My name is William F.Cody, and I'm a friend of Buck's."
"Buck?" "The Indian in the store, Buck Cross," Kid answered. "Oh, I see," Alex replied. She really hadn't expected for the riders from Thompkins' store to be working for the Express. She prayed that Buck hadn't told the riders about her secret, and from the look on the riders' faces, she knew he hadn't. "What brings you here, Mr. Alex?" Rachel questioned, "Surely you're not here to ask on Buck are you?" "Oh, no, no," Alex protested, "Actually, I'm from Missouri, and I heard that a Mr. Teaspoon and the Russell, Majors and Waddell are looking for riders. I came here to apply for the job." The riders looked at each other, surprised. "M'fraid you came a bit late. The Russell, Majors and Waddell freighting firm recruited riders since last year. That was a long time ago," Rachel explained. Alex's shock was obvious, "But, but the flyer…" she fumbled for the piece of paper stuffed in her coat pocket, "I got it from Franklin's in Missouri. It was still up when I left the town there." Rachel took the flyer and read it. The riders recognised it as the one they had answered when they applied for the job. "I guess Franklin must've forgotten to take it down or something," Cody shrugged, not having the faintest idea who Franklin was. Rachel immediately noticed Alex's expression as his face fell. The look on his face pulled on Rachel's kind heart. Missouri was quite far, and she couldn't help but feel sorry for the young lad, especially since what he did at Thompkins'. "Listen," Rachel began, trying to cheer him up," Maybe you could stay here for a while, wait for Teaspoon. Who knows, he may just have room for one more." Rachel smiled as she saw how Alex's green eyes begin to sparkle again. "Yeah, Teaspoon's a good man," Jesse remarked, "B'sides, I sure would like you to stay. Maybe you could teach me how to handle Thompkins, huh?" "Jesse," Kid warned. Alex smiled, hoping that Teaspoon would take her, or him, for that matter. Her gaze fell slowly on the horses behind.
"Are they new?" she asked. "Yup. Just got them this morning," the Kid replied, his eyes full of fondness of the horses, "That one over there," he pointed to the youngest one, "is real feisty. We're having a hard time trying to keep him calm and round him up with the others." Alex looked at the young foal. It wouldn't stop moving, and its black sleek coat shined beautifully, reflecting the light every time it moved. She was immediately drawn to it. "Can I help?" she asked, wanting desperately to touch the beauty. Cody snickered, "You can try. Don't say we didn't warn ya." Alex smiled at the blonde rider, ready to take on the challenge. She entered the compound. As she did, the black horse turned its eyes towards her, not exactly appreciating the intrusion. The other riders watched intently as she advanced towards the horse slowly, dangerously. Alex kept her eyes at the horse's stare, never taking them away. She stared so hard that her eyes began to sting, but she tried not to blink, focusing, instead, into its thoughts. "I'm not gonna harm you," she whispered in a low voice that revealed her femininity. She made sure no one else heard her, "I'm your friend, put your trust in me." The horse grumbled dangerously. It's gonna attack him, Lou worried. "Trust me, I'm your friend," Alex said, this time in a language that only Buck would have understood, had he been there. The horse looked at her and moved its head, as if it was nodding. To everyone's surprise, the horse stood still as Alex approached it. Gasps were heard as he placed a hand on its body and began stroking the coat. Cody let out a whoop as Alex stroked the body of the beautiful creature. Kid and Lou couldn't hide the smiles on their faces, beaming at the stranger's achievement. Noah and Jesse wondered if Alex could teach them what he had just done. Maybe there is hope for him, Rachel thought. All throughout that moment, not one person noticed as two men dismounted from their horses, appalled by the sight of Alex and their feisty new foal.
Teaspoon smiled as Jimmy gazed at the man who had been their topic of dinner the night before. "Rider comin'!" Lou called around lunch, as she saw Buck approaching. Buck dismounted and was about to lead Warrior into the stables, when Lou stopped him. "Uh, Buck, d'you remember the man from Thompkins' store?" she asked. "'Course I do. It happened only yesterday," Buck frowned, "Why do you ask?" "Well, it seems that we'll be seeing a lot more of him," Lou smiled, pointing to the stables. Buck was utterly confused, "What do you mean, Lou?" Lou had been expecting it, "His name is Alex. Teaspoon hired him earlier just now." The young Indian was not prepared for this, "Are you kidding? Why did Teaspoon hire...him?" "Cos he rides good and he even managed to tame lil' feisty," she answered, knowing that Buck was not prepared for this, "He's in the stables, so, you can thank him again." She winked and left Buck with a million thoughts running through his mind. Why is she here? Does Teaspoon and the others know about her true self? How should I behave in front of her? Buck tried to remember how he behaved in front of Lou when he knew that he was a she, but nothing entered his mind. He took a breath and looked towards the stables, preparing himself. He walked slowly, leading Warrior. He saw her with the new horse, stroking its mane gently. Alex sensed someone else with her, and turned around. Her heart seemed to stop beating when she saw him. The Indian from the store. Buck, his name in her mind. "Hi," Buck said, not moving from where he stood. She smiled shyly, not knowing whether to act as a man or a woman. Fortunately for her, he seemed to have been reading her mind when he said, "It's okay, you can relax."
"I know who you are," Buck said, his mind seemed to be paralyzed. "Oh," Alex felt equally paralyzed. Buck studied her and, remembering her long black hair that was tied in a tail, and realized that she had put on glasses, no doubt to hide her eyes. Those eyes, he thought. "You're Buck," Alex said numbly. Buck nodded and silence surrounded them again. Suddenly, Alex giggled, and so did Buck. "I guess it's kinda funny that we know each other, and yet, don't know how to react," Buck said, glad that the silence was over. Alex smiled, "How did you know who I was?" It was a question that she had wanted to know ever since their brief encounter. Buck frowned, "I don't know. I just looked at you and it hit me, who you are. I guess it must've been your eyes." "My eyes?" Alex was surprised. She shook her head and sighed, "I'm glad I put these on," she referred to the glasses. "Smart thing," Buck remarked, "Do the others know who you are?" Alex shook her head again, "No, I don't think so, not unless you told them." She looked up at him, her eyes wide. Buck looked at her eyes, remembering the way they were when he first saw them. It melted his heart, "I haven't told them, and I don't intend to." "Why not? They're your friends," she was curious. "Well, yeah, but, I figured that you were doing it for a good reason, like getting a job or something, and I had no right to interfere. I didn't count on you looking for a job at the Express, though," he looked at her. She smiled amusingly. "I've been planning it for sometime," she admitted. Buck smiled back, “I guess I also owe you for helping me and my friends at the store. If it weren't for you, Thompkins would've reported us to Teaspoon. Y'know, all the riders kind of look up to what you did, cos Thompkins' been askin for it for a long time."
Alex could feel herself blushing, and Buck's smile grew bigger as he saw the colour rise in her cheeks. "Besides," he continued, "I was kinda reminded of Lou, and what I would've done if it was her." "What about Lou?" Alex asked, growing confused by the minute. "She didn't tell you yet? Well, Lou was just like you once," Buck explained. Alex tilted her head to one side and raised an eyebrow, almost making Buck laugh at her confusion. Luckily, he had more sense not to, "You see, when Lou first came here, she knew that Teaspoon wasn't gonna hire a girl, so she disguised herself, like you." "Like a man?" Buck nodded, "But Teaspoon soon found out who she was, though, and he freaked out." Alex could only imagine what had happened, and prayed that whatever happened to Lou, wouldn't happen to her, "Then Teaspoon realized that Lou was like family, and he continued to hire her, right?" Buck was apparently amazed, "Yeah, how did you know?" "I didn't," Alex replied sheepishly, "But that's how things in situations such as this go about. Once you're family, nothing else matters." She looked away for a moment, her mind filling with the memory in the woods. Buck noticed her expression, and recognised immediately the hint of a painful memory. "You alright?" he asked. She nodded, her eyes revealing nothing of what pained her. He knew that she was lying, but gave her the benefit of doubt, "So, are you planning on telling Teaspoon about...you know..." She looked up at him, surprised, "No! Of course not. Do you really think that I'd risk such a thing?" Buck was taken aback by her outburst, "I-" She cut him off, "No, don't even try to persuade me into it. I know that sounds mean, but it would be a lot meaner if I didn't say it. You don't know
me that well, so let me warn you that I can be very stubborn at times, and don't go against me when I'm that way, alright." Buck nodded, understanding what she meant. He felt that he knew the kind of spirit that she had, a burning flame that could not be easily extinguished. She sighed, "C'mon, I'll take your horse for you. The others are waiting for you in the bunkhouse." Buck handed Warrior over to her, and he walked towards the bunkhouse, towards his friends who knew nothing of the truth.
Chapter 3 Teaspoon sat in his favorite rocking chair and sighed. The chair creaked and groaned under his weight as he rocked to and fro, following the rhythm of the movement. His mind, though, was on the rider he had just hired, Alex. He had suddenly appeared in Rock Creek, where no one seemed to know him. It seemed to Teaspoon that although Alex was comfortable with other riders and Rachel, there seemed to be times when he would avoid talking about his past. Like Kid, he refused to tell them his last name, and Teaspoon had given him the benefit of doubt, seeing how he Buck seemed to trust him. The Kiowa had an exceptional instinct when it came to people, he knew who could be trusted, and who were better off not knowing. Teaspoon also noticed that Buck seemed to lighten up whenever Alex was around, rather than just moping around like he usually did after Ike had died. Buck had laughed and joked with the riders at dinner that night, something that Teaspoon missed, his quiet, sarcastic sense of humor. But still, there was no doubt that Teaspoon sensed something about the new rider. From the moment he laid eyes on him, Teaspoon was immediately intrigued by the green-eyed rider. His jade green eyes held the twinkle that reminded Teaspoon of his past. “Sharina,” he whispered her name. Alex had reminded Teaspoon so much of her, that just for that moment, he thought, he dared to hope that she had found him. But, he remembered that Ten Bears had predicted their child to be a girl, and Ten Bears was never wrong. Teaspoon sighed again. I will find you, he remembered her words. He was still waiting, but she never came. Teaspoon closed his eyes, seeing her in front of him, still beautiful, still loving. Where was she? He remembered the touch of her hair, the scent that she always had, the way her voice lit his heart every time she sang to him. The way he would run his fingers through her hair, the way she told him how much she loved her. Teaspoon could not forget, he knew that, and it pained his heart to know that she was somewhere searching for him, while it seemed that he had moved on. No, he thought, I will not move on until I have found you. The man went to sleep that night, dreaming of the green eyed beauty and her promise.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Alex tiptoed her way around the bunkhouse, making as little noise as she could. She had went to bed the night before filled with insecurities, sleeping in a room full of handsome young men. Cody gave a little snore that made her wary, but when he started murmuring something about a nice tenderloin, she knew that he was dreaming, as always. Tying her hair, her eyes scanned the room, looking at every rider, until her eyes gradually fell on Buck. She tried not to giggle as she saw him sleeping, his tousled hair falling all over his face and his pillows, his medicine pouch always hanging from his neck. She blushed as she realized that he was in his long johns. She almost let out a sigh as she saw him sleeping so peacefully, his spirit somewhere in the land of dreams. Gathering her clothes, she opened the door quietly and went out. As soon as she had left, Buck opened his eyes. He had heard Alex moving about, from her light and quick steps, the way she moved around the room, unsure of where to go, he knew that it was her and not Lou or any of the riders. He knew that she had thought he was sleeping, but, being a Kiowa warrior, Buck had keener senses than he other riders. He got out of bed without making a sound, and went out after her, remembering to put on his pants first. Alex shivered as she felt the cold water turning her veins to ice. Damn, it's freezing! she thought as she began to think that it wasn't such a good idea, but she knew that she had to bathe before anyone else found out that she was a girl. Forcing the coldness out of her head, she though, instead about what she was going to do. She knew that they were in town, and were probably looking for her, but she refused to run away from them. Why should I be running from them, they should be the ones trying to run away. The memory of the woods played in her mind again, filling her heart with fire so intense that she no longer minded the freezing water. Her mind was so preoccupied with the idea of revenge that she failed to notice someone watching her. Buck gripped the post tighter, ashamed of himself. He knew that he shouldn't be watching, but he couldn't force himself away. The sight of Alex washing herself under the cool water entrapped him. He could feel his cheeks getting hotter as each second passed. He watched how she combed her hair with her fingers, as they turned and glistened in shades of black. He watched how each water droplet rolled down her sleek back, wishing that his fingers were running down them. Even when she was cleaning herself, she was still graceful. Buck reluctantly turned away from her and leaned heavily on the post, knowing that he would not stand on his own. Sighing, he made up his mind to return to the bunkhouse, but, unfortunately, as he began to walk away, the floorboards creaked lazily underneath him. Cursing under his breath, he ran back to the bunkhouse, praying that Alex had not seen him.
Alex whipped around, knowing that she had heard a noise. Putting on her shirt, she stepped forward to approach the intruder, only to catch a glimpse of the back of the Kiowa as he ran to the bunkhouse. All through the morning, Alex kept her eyes on poor Buck. He could feel her boring into him as he toyed with his food. Alex noticed the awkward silence around him, and smiled at his torment. Buck glanced up, and saw the way Alex was looking at him, She knows! He gave an apologetic smile as he pushed his egg around the plate. Eyeing Buck's almost untouched plate, Cody asked, “You gonna finish that, Buck?” Buck glanced at Cody and pushed his plate towards the blonde rider. Buck stared as Cody began wolfing his food down, regretting giving it away, now that he had nothing to distract himself from Alex's stare. Feeling Buck looking at him, Cody had the courtesy to ask, “Want some?” Buck shook his head disgustedly at the half eaten food. Rachel asked in concern, “Why aintcha eating, Buck?” Alex gave him a look as if to say, “Yeah, why aintcha eating, Buck?” Buck glanced at Alex again as he got up awkwardly, “I got some stuff to do.” He excused himself and left the bunkhouse, glad to leave the sudden stuffiness. Everyone in the room stared after Buck except for Alex who could have burst out laughing. Jimmy frowned as he forked the egg yolk into his mouth, “What's the matter with him?” Alex bit her bread, nonchalantly replying, “Maybe he saw something he shouldn't have.” *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Sonny took another swig of whiskey as he studied the unconscious figure on the bed. A dark haired woman with a petite figure. Her face was bruised and there was a small trail of blood running from her mouth. he had been beaten up badly, and the man who did it was now chuckling in her face. Sonny pulled out his pistol and pretended to shoot the woman. “Pow,” he whispered before laughing again. He recalled how the woman had whimpered the night before, how she had endured the beatings in silence. She was too easy, he thought. He needed something more exciting. He was tired of all the whores who would do anything he wanted, if it meant saving their own lives. Scratching the scar that ran across his left cheek, he remembered the girl who had given him the scar, and the time of his life. She had entered his room, looking for all the world like any normal whore, only much prettier. He had been excited by the sight of her, for she had looked promising, but he was fooled, and she had ran away, scarring his face permanently. Now, he sat in his chair, thinking of all the things he would do once he got his hands on her.
Trying to remember her face, he chuckled silently, ”Little green eyes.” His laugh deepened, like the sound of a maniac, as he grew excited by his ideas. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Buck smiled as he saw Alex riding in. It had been almost a week since she came to the Pony Express, and she had fitted right in. Buck went to her as she dismounted. “How was your run?” he asked. “Fine,” she answered half-heartedly. In truth, she had been tired by the run as she rode across the prairie. Buck knew what she was feeling, and steered the topic into something he knew she would like. As he followed her into the stables, he rubbed the horse's black coat, “You own a really beautiful horse. Too bad he doesn't have a name.” Alex did a double take, “My horse?” Buck smiled at her, “Yup, Teaspoon said that since you're the only one who can tame him, you should be the one to have him.” He saw the way she looked at the horse and asked, “So, what's his name?” Alex bit her lip, a habit she had since young. After several moments, she said, “Wing Foot. In memory of my childhood friend.” Buck could hear the pain in her voice as she struggled to say those words. His features softened as he placed his hand on her arm. “What happened?” He wanted to know more of her past. But Alex shook her head. “Nothing,” she replied as she walked away, but Buck held on to her arm. Alex looked up at him, and Buck could see her brilliant green eyes shining with unshed tears. “You'll have to face it. If not sooner, then later. Tell me,” Buck whispered, his voice stern, yet tender and caring. “Why?” Alex asked angrily, as if it was his fault that things happened the way it did. Buck gazed at her sadly, “Because I know how it feels like to lose a friend. Ike McSwain,” his voice choked on the name, “When he died, he took a part of me with him. I know how it feels like when someone you know all your life is taken away from you. It hurts, even if it happened yesterday or years ago, it still hurts, especially if you know you could have done something to prevent it.” He stared into Alex's eyes, wanting to dwell into them. “Ike was your best friend?” Alex asked quietly.
“The bestest,” Buck replied, “He showed me who I truly am.” His voice shook as he remembered how Ike had shown him a part of him he never knew existed. He loosened his grip on Alex's hand, but still not letting it go. Alex looked away, “I'm sorry. I'm not even going to pretend that I know how you feel, because I've been there.” She paused as she took a deep breath, “My mother told me that the people we keep in our hearts will never truly die. That's how we keep them alive, by never forgetting what they mean to us.” She blinked her tears away, but in vain. She realized that she had done the exact opposite of what her mother had told her. “I tried to keep them alive in my heart, but there were too many of them. I tried to forget them. I thought, they were just dead. Nothing more.” Buck finally released her hand, “Your mother's right. We can't forget them. It's the only way to keep us alive.” He walked away, leaving Alex alone in the stable. Buck walked back to the bunkhouse, his mind reeling with thoughts and his heart just wanting to scream out loud. He opened the old chest that once belonged to Ike, and grew dizzy by the musty smell. He took out the things inside, a bible, some drawings, and a bandanna that still carried the scent Buck would never forget.
Chapter 4 Lou looked up in shock as Alex burst into the bunkhouse, panting. His eyes searched around the room frantically. “Whoa there,” Lou cried, “Where's the fire?” “Where's Buck?” Alex asked. “Buck? I'm not sure. Saw him riding out a while ago. What's the matter?” Lou studied the green-eyed rider. Alex gave a loud sigh as he pulled up a chair. “Tell me about Ike.” Lou's eyes grew wide at this,” How did-” Alex cut her off,” Buck told me. He kinda mentioned it when we were talking.” Lou nodded her head. She looked down, not sure where to begin. Finally she said, “Ike was a special person. He was good to all of us, but he and Buck had a special bond. They had been friends since young, and they understood each other perfectly. Buck always had Ike to turn to. It tore his heart out when Ike died, it tore all our hearts out. But, Buck, he never quite got over it.” Lou sighed as Alex buried his head in his hands.
She was just about to console the rider, when Rachel came in with a parcel. Alex looked up at the woman as Lou eyed the package. “What's that, Rachel?” “It's a parcel for Barnett. Someone dropped it off here, and I was wondering if one of you could give it to him.” Lou was about to take the job, when Alex stopped her, “I'll take this one, Lou. I need to take my mind off Buck. Thanks for just now.” “Anytime,” the female rider replied. As soon as Alex had left the bunkhouse, Rachel turned to Lou, “What was that all about?” Lou smiled, “Understanding one another.” And she went back to cleaning her boots. Alex rode into town and stopped outside the Marshal's office. Tying Wing Foot, she made her way to the office. Stepping on the boardwalk, she saw Teaspoon in the office, together with Cody and Jimmy. Jimmy was un-cuffing a man as another man stood talking to Teaspoon. Even from where she was, she recognised the man immediately, and her heart stopped beating for a moment. There was no mistaking it, the same sandy coloured hair, the same posture, the same stench of death. It was as if time stood still as she watched him talking to her manager, the Marshal. The voice in her head kept whispering, They've found you! They've found you! She felt the world around her spinning, and she saw her mother. She could smell the overpowering perfume as she grew dizzy. Holding onto the post she, balanced herself, one hand to her head. She had to leave, she knew that, but not this way. She couldn't leave without explaining to Buck. She forced him away from her mind as she turned around. “Buck!” she cried as she bumped into him. “Alex,” Buck held on to her arms. “Are you okay?” He was across the road when he saw the way she was clutching to the post and had gotten worried. Alex looked up into his eyes and could see the distinct look of concern. So much for taking my mind of off him. She was about to answer him, when she heard someone clearing his throat behind her. Spinning around, she saw Teaspoon standing next to him. Teaspoon frowned at the rider, “Alex, what are you doing here?” Alex couldn't answer, her voice caught in her throat as she stared at him. The scar was still there on his face, running down his cheek. Alex stared at him, wishing that looks could really kill. Kill him! You're the Huntress! Finish him! Give him more than the scar! Kill him like you did his bastard friend! Alex felt the strong urge to reach for her pistol, but the presence of Teaspoon and Buck stopped her. She looked away, her lips tight and her fists clenched, the only thing she could do from allowing her hands to hold her pistol.
Sonny felt this awkward exchange, and studied the green eyed boy in front of him. He seemed vaguely familiar.... Teaspoon's voice snapped him from his thoughts as he heard the Marshal telling him how he hoped that his friend would not cause trouble. Sonny smiled at the old man, “Don't worry, sir. My friend won't be causin' anymore trouble.” He nodded to the riders and left, with his 'friend' in tow. Teaspoon turned his attention back to Alex, “What are you doing here, Alex?” Alex looked up at him and showed the parcel, “I have a parcel for Barnett. Someone dropped it off at the way station by mistake.” Teaspoon nodded and ushered both Buck and Alex inside his office. Barnett glanced up as he saw Alex entering the room. Teaspoon introduced them, “Alex, this is my deputy, Barnett. Barnett, my newest rider, Alex.” Alex shook his hand. Teaspoon gave a small smile and explained, “Sometimes, when I'm away or something, the riders will be deputized, so that means I'm gonna have to teach you the ropes, Alex.” He paused, “Don't you have a parcel for Barnett here?” Alex nodded, and handed the parcel to a thrilled Barnett. “For me?” he asked, as he tore away the brown paper. His face fell as he said, “It's from my mother.” Jimmy and Cody couldn't contain their laughter as he said that, knowing what the parcel would contain. Barnett embarrassingly pulled out the pair of long johns that his mother would never fail to give every time she wrote him a letter. Alex and Teaspoon tried not to laugh as they saw the familiar piece of underwear. Buck clutched his stomach as he tried to stop the huge fit of laughter from erupting. But, Jimmy and Cody guffawed as they teased poor Barnett. “Hey, if you don't want those, I'll be glad to have 'em,” Cody said between laughter. “You can't take them, Cody,” Jimmy snickered, “Cos Barnett's gonna add this one to the collection of red johns that he already has in his closet.” Even Alex laughed at this, Buck noticed. Finally, Teaspoon somehow put a stop to the teasing as he said, “Okay, boys, that's enough for now.” Turning to Barnett, he said, “Why dontcha take a break outside, huh? We'll handle the things here.” Barnett gladly left the room, as he tried to conceal the john with the brown paper. Cody scowled, “Aww, Teaspoon, he didn't need a break.”
Teaspoon smiled mischievously, “He doesn't, but we do.” The riders cracked up, and Alex laughed along with them. But one small nudging thought made her stop. She felt comfortable with the riders, not just comfortable, but as though she had been doing this all her life. Turning to Teaspoon, she asked, “Who was that man who came here?” “His name is Sonny,” Teaspoon said with a nasty look on his face, as though he despised the name. “We had arrested his friend for causing trouble in the saloon.” He peered into Alex's face, “Why? Do you know him.” “I've seen him around town,” she replied. From the way she figured it, it wasn't exactly a lie since she didn't say no, and that was what made Teaspoon wary.
Chapter 5 Buck looked up to the sky as he inhaled the scent of the night. He loved staring at the stars, wondering about things. That night, he found himself thinking about Alex. There was more to her than meets the eye, he knew. Buck knew that her grandfather was a Comanche warrior who married a white woman and that she was born and raised as a Comanche. But, he knew no more that that, whereas she seemed to know more about him. She had made him feel something that he hadn't felt ever since Ike had died; a sense of peace. “Penny for your thoughts? I'll even make it a quarter,” Alex sat down on the ground beside him. Buck smiled, glad for her company. “I was just thinking about you,” he said truthfully. Alex blushed at his answer, and secretly thanked her guardians that it was too dark to see her colour change. “Me? What about me?" He paused before continuing, “I was thinking how little I know about you. As if there's something about you that I should know.” He turned to her, “Is there?" Even in the dark, Buck could see her jade green eyes clearly. She looked away as she realized that he was staring at her. “Buck,” she began, “There are a lot of things that you should know about me.”
“Tell me then,” he said softly, his voice almost a whisper. She bit her lip. She wanted so much to tell him everything, all that she had seen and felt, but she knew that if she did, he would never sit with her this way again. She sighed, “If I do, things will never be the same again. Not for you, not for me. Maybe someday, Buck, not now.” She looked up into his eyes, “I promise.” Buck nodded, knowing that she needed time. “I'm sorry for walking away like I did. It was wrong of me.” “No,” she answered, “I should've been more sensitive to how you felt.” “ It's just that, I've never told anyone what I told you before,” she added. “And you were afraid. I understand,” Buck finished for her. Alex was surprised at his words. Never before did she show anyone her fears, but here he was, telling her that he knew exactly how she felt. He was able to read her, the only person, other than her late mother, who understood her without knowing what it was that had happened. Alex stared at him as he looked to the sky, his eyes closed. That was the first time that she ever saw him as a man. Not just a rider, or a half Indian, but a human. She couldn't understand why she had never noticed it before. Her eyes trailed his features. His eyes, his nose, down to his lips. She stared at his handsome features illuminated by the moonlight. He looked magical to her, as though he was immortal and almost untouchable. She saw his lips stretch into a smile as though he heard the singing of the spirits. For that moment, she wanted her fingers on his lips, caressing them. “Buck...” she thought, not aware that she had whispered his name. “Hmm?" he turned to her, his brown eyes gazing at her. Alex snapped out of her daze, as she realized that Buck was looking at her. “Nothing,” she replied, half ashamed. Buck smiled. He had closed his eyes, trying to believe that Alex was actually sitting closely to him, close enough for him to kiss her, and he almost did. But she had called his name, and he awoke to see her even more beautiful, staring at him. Now, she was looking at the sky, her eyes shining. “Why are you smiling?” Buck asked, when in truth, he didn't care, so long as she smiled.
“The stars,” she replied, “When I was born, my Indian name was White Star, because of my light skin.” “That's a beautiful name,” Buck said. Alex blushed again, “My mother named me that. Her name, in our language, meant, 'the daughter of the moon'.” “And you are the star. As beautiful as the star,” Buck whispered, his eyes studying Alex. Alex could feel his eyes upon her, but she didn't care. She felt safe with him, even happy. This is where I belong, she thought sadly. She closed her eyes and started humming a song, a song that her mother used to sing to her. “That's a nice song,” Buck remarked, “Where did you learn it?” Alex smiled, “My mother used to sing it to me. It's a song about this young girl who is sad because her lover was taken away from her, and she fears that she'll never see him again. She cries every night because she wants him to return. Sometimes, I pity the girl, because she is so sad.” Buck looked at Alex,” Tell this girl that she shouldn't be sad anymore, because her lover has come back, and he will never leave her again.” He stared into her green eyes, and felt them pierce his soul, uncovering every secret about him, every emotion unrevealed. She was so beautiful, but he could see something in her eyes that made her human, she was afraid. And, his heart pained at that thought. He wanted to let her know that he will never make her feel afraid again, but he couldn't, because she wouldn't let him. And he knew that. Alexandria stared back, wishing that she was brave enough to pull him close and kiss him. It didn't happen, though. She was too afraid too start something that she knew might never last. The Pony Express, the job, even Buck, she knew that they were not permanent, and she couldn't bear to hurt Buck. But he understood her, in that special way that even she could not understand, and he was determined to make her stay. Buck took her hand and she felt a warm tingling up her spine. He said, “This is your home now, no matter what anyone says. This is where you belong, White Star.” Alex could feel her eyes stinging with tears at his words. “Oh, Buck,” she whispered as she hugged him.
This is where I belong, she thought, firmly this time.
Chapter 6 Alex walked around the bunkhouse the next morning. She had just finished her chores, and was getting bored. Buck and Lou were at the Marshal's office, Cody was doing some shopping for Rachel in town, Jimmy was on a run to Blue Creek, and Kid had sent Jesse to school. Alex would have preferred to spend her time with Rachel, but she didn't want to arouse her suspicions. She had a soft place for the elder woman, who reminded her of her own mother. Stop it! she scolded herself. Sonny was in town, and she had to find a way to get back at him. The question is how? She walked to the back of the bunkhouse, and heard a strange noise. She frowned as she wondered what was causing it. With one hand on her pistol, she prepared herself for the worse. “Noah!” she cried in exasperation as she saw the young man. He was holding his whip and looked about ready to strike. “What are you doing here?” Alex asked as she put away her gun. “Practicing,” the young black man said, as if it was so obvious. It was then that Alex noticed several bottles lined up on the fence. Some of them lay broken on the floor. “You know how to use that?” Alex asked, motioning to his whip. “Yeah,” he answered, "Wanna see?” Alex nodded. She seldom met a free black man, and wanted to know more about Noah Dixon. Noah relaxed his shoulders as he prepared to strike the bottles. Alex flinched as she heard the whip crack. In faster than a blink of an eye, five bottles fell to the floor in pieces. Alex gave a low whistle, a way of congratulating Noah on his skill. Noah took the compliment openly. “That was something”, Alex remarked as Noah approached her. She was now looking at the man with admiration. “Could you teach me how to do that?” she asked, wanting badly to learn. Noah studied the new rider. To him, Alex was still a child in many ways. His face was still young and soft and his willingness to learn things made him almost like Jesse. But Noah had respect for Alex. He had stood up to Thompkins for them, and had gained the trust of Buck easily. Noah knew that the Kiowa had gone through some pretty hard times, and was surprised at
how close he and the green eyed rider had become. He nodded once, “Sure.” He wanted to know more of Alex and his capabilities. Alex could have jumped up with glee, if it weren't for the fact that Noah had been studying her intently. Not with the masculine interest though, so she presumed that he was still oblivious to her identity. She gladly followed Noah with the eagerness of a school child. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Buck looked through the window, his gaze fixed on something. Something far away, thought Lou. She had been studying the Kiowa for sometime, and realized that he had been staring at the dress in the window. It was a light purple cotton dress that was sweet and simple at the same time. Buck had been staring at it with such a gaze that Mrs. Boland, the dressmaker, was giving him a nasty stare. Not that she had something against the Kiowa. Mrs. Boland had always admired Buck's courage and determination, it was just that he was staring at the dress too intently, and that was not a very gentleman thing to do. Lou crept quietly behind Buck and remarked, “That’s a nice dress.” Buck snapped out of his trance as he realized that someone was behind him. “Lou,” he frowned, “What are you doing here?” “Looking for you,” she answered, “You were gone such a long time that Teaspoon sent me to fetch you. Why are you staring at the dress?” Buck's face flushed as he knew that Lou had been watching him. “Uh.. nothing. Just thought it was pretty, that's all,” he lied. In actual fact, he had been thinking of Alex when he saw the dress. He was imagining how she would look like in the dress, and had visions of her spinning around in it. After last night, he wanted to know how Alex would have looked like as girl. He dreamt of buying the dress for her, but he didn't know how she would react to it. Lou shook her head as she smiled cheekily, “There is no way that a man can stare at a dress like that, no matter how pretty it is. It's either cos he wants to wear the dress or he wants someone special to wear the dress. Now Buck, I know you don't wear dresses, so I can safely assume that you wanna buy it for a girl. Who is she?” Buck was surprised at Lou's assumption, but quickly hid it. He didn't want Lou to know, not now. “Nobody,” he lied again. He hated lying to his friends, but he knew this was necessary. “We'd better go. Teaspoon might be worried,” he said, needing an excuse to get away. Lou sighed and followed him, knowing that it was no use to argue with Buck. He always won. But she was glad knowing that Buck was moving on. It had been hard after Ike died, but now things were going to change. Alex had arrived and now, Buck was smitten by a girl. What next? Lou thought.
Buck walked quickly towards the office. He was hoping that Lou would not relate what happened to Teaspoon. He immediately turned around and held Lou's arm. “You won't tell Teaspoon anything, will you?” he asked. Lou looked at him in a sisterly way, ”Okay, Buck. But who is the girl?” Buck just smiled, “Just someone.” He could read Lou's annoyance on her face. He then frowned, wondering if he should get her opinion. He was still thinking when Lou said, “You know, Buck. If Kid got me that dress, I would certainly like it. A lot,” she added. Lou gave him a wink and strode inside the office with a smile. Buck shook his head, silently thanking her. Teaspoon looked up as they entered the office. Kid was standing beside him, looking at some WANTED posters. “Ah, Lou. Since Kid's already here, you can go back to the station now,” Teaspoon told her, “Buck, I need you and Kid here for a while. You can both go back before lunch.” Buck nodded as Lou prepared to leave. He escorted her outside, just to ask her again, “Do you really think I should buy the dress?” This time, Lou smiled, “If she's really special, yes.” “Thanks, I owe you one.” “Owe one what?” Kid asked as he approached them on the boardwalk. “A dress,” Lou answered as she mounted her horse and rode away. Kid turned to Buck, frowning, “Buck?” Buck gave him a shrug and walked back inside.
Chapter 7 Alex wiped her forehead as she dismounted Wing Foot. She had been practicing the whip with Noah all morning, and had emerged tired. But she had also started a friendship and understanding between herself and Noah. She knew how it felt like to be discriminated, and have people thinking that they were uncivilized savages. Buck also knew how it felt like, but the relationship between them was different from hers and Noah's. Noah was more like a friend, and a brother. Buck was different. He was more intense,
and made her feel human and alive. The relationship between them was strong, but not in a brotherly sort of way. And it scared her that they were growing closer each day. She found that she was growing fond of him, and whenever something happened, he was always the first thing that came to her mind. She remembered everything that happened the night before, and wished that something more had come out of it. True, she was afraid of what it might lead to, but she had never felt something like this before. Never before had she ever felt that she needed someone. Buck was the first man she ever knew who truly cared for her. She remembered staring at him in the way that would seem improper to anyone, but she didn't care. She wasn't afraid of him, and he gave her strength. Did he feel the same way for her? She sighed as she unbuttoned her shirt. The creek was so inviting. She looked around again and made sure that there was no one else around. She placed her clothes in a pile, and made her way to the cool waters. She felt a sudden coldness running through her as she entered the water. It was cold, but it was good at the same time. She felt cleansed and pure. Soon, she took no notice of the coldness, and enjoyed the feeling of the water against her skin. Secretly, she wondered if Buck had ever bathed here before, and felt ashamed of the thoughts that followed. Lou stopped as she heard splashing. She frowned as she wondered who that was. The splashing of water was too light to be a man. That made her even more surprised. Other than herself, she never knew another woman who was brave enough to swim in the creek. She immediately became curious, and crouched as she made her way to the creek. For a while, Lou could not see the woman as she dived, but soon the woman resurfaced, and Lou found herself squinting her eyes. She tried to recognise the woman in the water, but all that she could see was the raven hair. Lou immediately crouched lower as the woman made her way to the bank. She hoped that she had been silent enough, and felt guilty at having to peep at someone. “This is what the boys should be doing,” she muttered, then immediately regretted her words. She certainly hoped that neither Kid nor the other riders would ever stoop to something as low as peeping, and that made her feel guilty all over again. She tried to look between the bushes, and gasped at what she saw. “Alex?” she whispered, then clamped her mouth shut, as she watched the green eyed rider. Alex looked around searchingly. She thought she had heard something, and felt wary. She nuzzled Wing Foot's nose and mounted him. The horse gave a whinny as she did so. Looking around for the last time, and finding nothing, she reined her horse. “Come on, Wing Foot. We'd better get back,” she whispered, and then rode away quickly, before anyone saw her.
Lou came out of her hiding place, her mouth wide open. Her heart had stopped beating as she saw Alex riding away. Alex's a girl? Does Buck know? Does Teaspoon know? Should I tell the others? She thought frantically. She knew that Teaspoon deserved to know the truth, but hadn't she also betrayed Teaspoon's trust when she first worked at the station? She breathed deeply, knowing that Alex had to tell Teaspoon himself...herself, about her true identity. Lou, upon calming herself, decided to have a nice, long chat with Buck about his new friend. After all, she reasoned, Buck has always been the sensible one. He'll know what to do. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Jimmy was in the stables, when he heard Buck riding in. As the Kiowa led Warrior inside, Jimmy noticed that he had a package in his hands. “What's that?” he asked, nodding towards the parcel. Buck looked at him, “A package.” Jimmy smirked, knowing that Buck was hiding something. He continued, “I know it's a package. I just wanna know what's inside.” He paused, “It ain't a long john, like the one Barnett got, is it?” Buck raised his eyebrow annoyingly at the gunfighter. He was about to answer when Lou cut in. “Now, now, Mr. Hickok. You know you shouldn't be poking your nose in affairs that don't concern you,” she smiled, “For your information, Buck bought this dress for me, and I would hope you learn from him on knowing how to please a lady.” Buck stood straight, trying not to laugh. Jimmy was chuckling as he stood up and bowed to Lou. “Yes, m'lady,” he said. Lou turned her attention to Buck, and led him outside. “Really, Lou, I think I should thank you-” Buck never got to finish his sentence. Lou cut him off, “It’s Alex, isn't it?” Buck was momentarily confused, “What? Alex?” “Don't pretend, Buck,” Lou said, “I know you know. How long has it been?” “Lou,” Buck started, “What're you saying?”
Lou sighed, “Alex is a she. Didn't you know that?” Buck's eyes widened, “How did you know? Did she tell you?” “No,” Lou confessed,” I was at the creek earlier, and I...saw her. That's how I know.” Buck ran a hand through his hair. If Lou had found out so easily, so would the others. “How long have you known, Buck?” Lou asked again. “From the first day we met,” he answered, embarrassed by the fact that he had a dress in his hands for the person they were discussing. Lou studied him, “We have to tell Teaspoon.” “No!” Buck said, “Please, Lou. She says she'll tell him when the time comes. No one else must know 'bout this.” Louise nodded, understanding. After all, she too had been in the same position. “Alright, the secret's safe,” she promised. “Where's Alex?” Buck asked, needing to find her. Lou shrugged, “Maybe somewhere out back?” Buck nodded, and prepared to find her. Lou then grabbed his arm, and he turned to face her. “I hope she likes the dress,” she whispered. Buck nodded again, hoping for the same thing. He found her inside the bunkhouse alone. She was polishing her pistol when he barged into the room. “Buck?” He smiled at the sight of her. He hadn't seen her the whole day, but she had never left his mind. Alex wondered what demons had possessed her friend, when she noticed the package he was holding. She looked at him questioningly. “I bought this for you,” he said, handing her the package. She sat up, and took it from him slowly. “What's inside?”
“Open it and see,” he urged her. Alex bit her lip, and opened the package slowly. She held her breath as she saw the coloured material inside. She took the dress out and held it in front of her. Her eyes looked the dress up and down. “Do you like it?” Buck whispered. Alex ran her fingers through the dress gently. Her lips trembled, and her breaths came short and fast. “Why...why did you buy this?” she stammered, her eyes still on the dress. “Because I thought you'd look pretty in it,” Buck replied, studying her face. “Is something wrong?” Alex closed her eyes, the memories running through her mind. The room, the man, the struggle. She took a sharp breath, as though she was crying invisible tears. “Alex?” Buck whispered, concerned. When she opened her eyes, he could see the unshed tears, “I’m sorry, Buck.” Her voice shook slightly. She handed the dress to him, “I can't take this.” Buck stiffened. He couldn't understand, “Why?” “Just take it back!” she cried angrily. Buck shook his head, “No. Tell me why.” He gripped both her arms, looking into her jade eyes. “Please.” “You wanna know why?” she replied, “There is nothing between us, Buck, and there never will be. So take this back!” Buck felt his heart tear apart, “I told you, I won't take it. It's a gift, keep it.” He stormed out of the room. Alex buried her head into her hands and started sobbing. She cried out of shame, fear, and the betrayal of her feelings. Come back, Buck, come back, she screamed inside.
Chapter 8 Dinner that night was unusually quiet as the food was passed around. Teaspoon felt the change in atmosphere and asked, “Where’s Buck?”
Everyone looked up at this question. Lou glanced at Alex who stared at her plate silently. Jimmy also gave Alex a look. He had been on his way to the bunkhouse, when Buck had stormed past him, bumping into his shoulder, and proceeded to the stables. He had then entered the bunkhouse to find a red eyed Alex cleaning up the room. Now, Jimmy was eyeing Alex in a way that made her feel uncomfortable just being at the table. Kid cleared his throat, “He told me that he had no appetite, so he must be somewhere around.” “I wonder why,” Jimmy said in a tone that was both sarcastic and dangerous. Alex couldn't take it anymore. “I'm not that hungry either. So, excuse me,” she said as she left the table. Rachel frowned at this, but kept it to herself. She knew that Alex was going to look for Buck, but she frowned at the thought that the riders weren't having their dinner. Alex shivered a bit, as she thought of finding Buck. She knew exactly where he was, and the thought of approaching him again gave her a sense of deja vu. She felt colder as she neared him, probably because of what happened earlier, but she saw him staring to the sky, and felt warmer with his presence. “Hi,” she whispered as she sat down next to him. Buck ignored her, but couldn't help the feeling that was going through him. Both were silent for a few moments. Alex sighed. She knew that if she wanted to clear things up between them, she had to be the one to start. “Do you wanna know what happened after you left?” she asked. Buck frowned slightly. If this was her way of apologizing, then it was the most unusual way he had ever heard. When he didn't respond, Alex felt it safe to continue, “I cried. I cried because I never knew that I could be so stupid and selfish as to hurt you.” Buck began, “Alex-” “No, wait, Buck,” she said, “Let me explain. You deserve to know.” Buck nodded, and let her continue.
She went on, “I never meant what I said, because if I did, then I would be lying to myself, and I've been lying too much to myself.” She paused as she turned to face him, “The thing is Buck, you mean a lot to me, probably more than you know. And that's why I did what I did. I never wanted to hurt you, Buck, I swear.” “Then why did you say those things?” he asked quietly, unsure of what she was driving at. He had been hurt by her words, and never thought that she would come back to him. Alex looked deeply into his eyes. ”Buck,” she whispered, “You hardly know me. The Alex you know is not the same as the Alex I know. And I hate what I know.” She paused, unsure of how to continue, but Buck encouraged her. She continued, “I’ve done things that I hate myself for, and I don't want you to hate me too.” Buck shook his head slowly as he looked at her, “Listen to me, White Star,” he placed his arms around her shoulders, “I can never hate you. I never will.” “I just don't want you to get hurt, Buck”, she continued, “I’ve lost so many people in my life, I don't want to lose you too.” Buck sighed. “Alex,” he began, “You will never lose me. No matter what you say, or what you've done, I will always be with you. You know that.” Alexandria nodded. Never before had she felt this way for someone. She wanted so badly for him to understand, but where could she begin? It was too painful altogether. “That's why I'm afraid, Buck,” she sighed, “I need you, and I'm afraid of what I'm feeling.” For the first time in all his life, Buck had heard those words from a woman that meant more than just something to him. She needed him, just like he needed her. And she was afraid. “White Star,” he whispered her name. She placed a hand on his lips. "Shh, let me do this, before I come to my senses and stop myself.” When Buck nodded, she could feel her heart beating twice as fast than normal. Buck stared into her eyes and drowned in them. The stillness of the night seemed to scream at that moment with silence. “Buck,” she whispered as she closed in on him. She could feel the warmth of his body, and for that moment, wished that they were at someplace more private. Buck caressed her cheek lovingly, and soon, she felt his lips on hers. At first, the kiss was just the contact of their lips, but soon, passion overcame them, and she could feel him pressing more. He was gentle, and yet forceful and she could feel his warm breath on her lips. His lips gently forced hers to open and the kiss deepened. She surrendered herself to his desires as his hands
moved up to her waist, and rested themselves there. Alex playfully ran her hands through his hair as she sang his name inside. She kissed him back, even biting at his lips at times. She wanted more, but she knew they had to stop. Reluctantly, she pulled back, panting slightly. “What's wrong?” he asked, his breaths quick. He still couldn't believe that he had taken hold of her and kissed her so forcefully. He could taste the desire in his lips, and he was ashamed of it. But, he could read through her eyes, and knew that there was nothing to be ashamed of. She, too, wanted the same thing. “Nothing,” she replied, and regretted her words as she leaned forward. Soon, they were kissing again, and she could feel his lips wandering to her cheek, gently pecking at her skin. “I think you aimed wrongly,” she whispered breathlessly. “It... doesn't...matter,” Buck said between kisses, “As long as it's you.” Alex played with his hair again, as he rained heated kisses down her neck. She kissed his forehead sweetly and rested her head in his hair smelling the scent. Each kiss he planted made her shiver, and he could feel it. He could also feel her breasts rising and falling against his chest every time she breathed, and he smiled. Alex closed her eyes. I'm yours Buck, she wanted to whisper. Suddenly, they both heard a faint sound. It was Lou calling them. Buck immediately stopped, and they crouched silently, unable to stop giggling like children. Lou heard the giggles, and knew what they were up to. She would bet all her savings that they were behind the stables, doing something they shouldn’t; after all, it wasn't that different with her and Kid. She didn't want to intrude on them, so she went a bit closer, not close enough to see them, though, and said, “You two better be careful. Teaspoon wants me to tell you that supper is gonna be served, and you better be at the table.” She was about to leave when she added as an afterthought, ”Oh, and try to find someplace more private next time.” Alex's eyes widened and Buck whispered, “Lou knows.” When they were certain that Lou was gone, they got up and started straightening themselves. Buck couldn't stop grinning the whole time, and he asked, “So, does this mean that you'll wear the dress I bought you?” Alex smiled as she saw the mischievous glint in his eyes, "Don't be so sure.” Buck raised an eyebrow and grabbed her waist as he planted another heartgrinding kiss.
Alex groaned for him to stop, saying that they'll never get to supper, but secretly wanted him to never stop. Buck chuckled and released her. “For now,” he said.
Chapter 9 Jimmy was in the stables, brushing Bullet as he heard Alex walking in. He immediately stood up and prepared to face him. “Alex,” he called the other rider. Alex walked towards him, “Something wrong?” “We need to talk,” was all Jimmy would say. “Could you hurry it up a bit cos I'm s'posed to send Jesse to school,” Alex replied, feeling as though she should be worried at Jimmy's tone. “I wanna talk about Buck,” Jimmy said, staring at Alex in the way that always made her feel uneasy. She sighed, “If it's about yesterday, the there's nothing to talk about. Everything's settled, okay, Jimmy.” “I can see that,” the gunfighter replied, “I just want you to know that Buck's been through a lot of bad times, and I don't want him to get hurt by anybody.” “Don't worry, Jimmy,” Alex promised in a soft voice. “Alex?” they heard Buck's voice. Buck entered the stables with a confused look on his face as he saw Alex and Jimmy standing as though they were ready to draw. “Yeah, Buck?” Alex asked grateful for his presence. “Uh, Jesse's waiting for you outside,” the Indian replied, his eyes still on the two. Buck gave Jimmy a look of curiosity, but Jimmy didn't reveal to him anything. Alex nodded to Jimmy as Buck led her outside. “What happened?” Buck asked as soon as they were alone. “I'll tell you later,” Alex whispered as she saw Jesse heading in their direction.
She set the buckboard and made her way to the schoolhouse with Jesse, Jimmy's words reeling in her mind.
Chapter 10 “So, you'll let me know when the next shipment arrives?” Sonny asked. “Will do," Thompkins replied, eyeing the man curiously. Sonny had entered the store asking for the type of bullets that Thompkins no longer sold, but he made up his mind to start selling it again. The sight of Sonny made him feel unsafe even frightened. He couldn't help staring at the scar on the left side of his cheek. Sonny felt the stare that the old man was giving him and chuckled silently. “You wanna know what happened?” he asked, one finger scratching the scar. Thompkins was startled but hid it well. He allowed the man tell his story. “Some bitch gave me this scar, when I didn't do nothing to her,” he replied, still smiling. “And when I find her, I'm gonna make her pay. Maybe I'll even make her friends pay too, if she has any. I know that she's in town, and I think I know where she already is, too.” He laughed again. He wasn't sure, but he had remembered the green-eyed boy that he had seen earlier in the week. One of the Express riders. He smiled, thinking that it was easier than he had thought. Thompkins raised his eyebrows at the added information that he would have been glad not hearing. Both men were so engrossed in their thoughts, they failed to hear a third person entering the store. Alex had heard the entire conversation and stopped in mid-track. Quietly, she crept back outside. Her heart was beating so fast, that she couldn't hear herself think. She set the buckboard as fast as her fingers would, and rode back to the way station, forgetting the things that Rachel had asked her to buy. Rachel saw Alex riding in and went outside to meet him. She frowned when she saw him empty-handed. “Alex?” she asked, “Where are the things?” “Oh, sorry, Rachel. Must've slipped my mind,” Alex lied as she headed to the bunkhouse. “I'll get them when I go back.”
“No need,” Rachel replied, “Buck, could you please get them while Alex does his chores?” “Sure thing,” he replied as he watched Alex. He wondered what was going on, and made his mind to ask her when he got back. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ As soon as Buck had dismounted Warrior, he went to look for Alex. She didn't seem to be at the way station, he decided after he had searched the entire place. He panicked. Lou saw him and shook her head. “Buck!” she called, “Looking for someone?” “Alex, where is...he?” he said, almost forgetting that the other riders had no clue to her identity. “He's not here, but I figured that you'd already know that,” Lou said, walking towards him, “He could be at the creek, though.” Buck's face lighted up, “Thanks, Lou!” He mounted Warrior and made his way to the creek. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Alex gave a sigh as she huddled her knees. Wing Foot was beside her, grazing. Sonny was looking for her. She knew that that was her cue to leave, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She had too many reasons to stay. She couldn't bear to leave the Express and her new found family. She thought about the riders and what made them close to her. Teaspoon, a friendly, wizened person who had trusted her so much. She thought that it was funny how she never actually got around to think about how he had made an impression on her. They had gotten quite close, and Alex would have trusted Teaspoon on anything. He had given her a job, a family and Wing Foot, without even asking about her past. But he will soon. She still hadn't thanked him for his generosity, and felt bad if she had to leave with Wing Foot. Rachel, who was almost like a mother to her, had been so kind and understanding. Alex had taken an immediate liking to the woman who cared and worried over the riders as if they were her own children. And maybe they were. Alex felt that she had created something special with the riders. They had become the family that she had once lost. The brothers and sisters that she wasn't even sure were still alive. And Buck, he had become the closest to her. She knew that he would hurt the most if she left, and she didn't want to hurt him with another loss. Buck's been through a lot of bad times, and I don't want him to get hurt by anybody.
Jimmy's words rang in her head. Well then, my leaving will be the last time Buck gets hurt, she promised. She hoped that he would understand. How can he when I leave without explaining why? She could still feel the way they had kissed the night before, the way he had made her feel that nothing else in the world mattered, except what they wanted. He was a Kiowa, and she was a Comanche, but she didn't care. All she cared was to give herself to him, to make him feel loved and wanted. Buck had made her feel that she was needed, and she loved the feeling. With one kiss, she knew that she belonged to him. He had made her his, and she had no objections to it. “Oh, Buck,” she whispered as she closed her eyes. “Alex?” She looked up and was surprised to see Buck dismounting Warrior. It was like she had called for him and he appeared out of nowhere. Only, now that he was there, she didn't know what to say to him. She could see the relief on his face, though, and couldn't stop thinking how handsome he was. Buck went to her. He held her in his arms strongly, as though never wanting to let her go. “Do you know how worried I was when you were gone just like that?” Alex just watched him in silence. Buck hugged her. "I was so worried when I couldn't find you. What is it?” Alex inhaled his body scent and could have cried at the pain that she was feeling. I can't leave you. “Alex?” Buck faced her, his eyes reflecting her. “Tell me what happened. What happened in town?” He ran a hand through her hair. For a moment, Alex couldn't bring herself to answer him. She just stared at his handsome tanned face and wondered if she would miss his worrying. Of course. Finally, she said, "I just saw someone I knew a long time ago. That's all.” Buck studied her face. He knew that there was more to it, but he also knew that she would only tell him everything when she was ready. He sighed. He wanted her more than anything, but how could he bring himself to share everything with someone who refused to make him a part of her life?
Alex looked towards the creek. “Eric would have loved this place,” she whispered. “Eric?” “Wing Foot,” she replied as Buck nodded. He felt that she was about to tell him a bit more about herself and let her continue. “I was promised to him when we were young. We were to be married when I turned sixteen,” she said. Buck looked down for a moment, knowing that something bad was coming. “Eric Wing Foot and I were always close, even as children, and the news of our marriage did not change what we had,” Alex paused as she heard Eric's laughter that mirrored her own happiness. “When I left the village, Eric never forgot me, and spent most of his years looking for me. I'll never forget the night he died. He risked his life to save mine, and I never stopped hating myself for that. For letting him die.” Alex took in a sharp breath and felt comforted as Buck hugged her. She let the tears roll freely, unable to control it anymore. She hadn't had a chance to mourn for Eric's death, and Buck allowed her to cry. He whispered soothing words into her ear, making her feel calmer. She buried herself into his chest, and soon, was kissing his neck. He groaned as she did so. He kissed her back, gently sucking her skin, from her forehead, his lips searched for her lips. He brought her face to his and stroked her chin and cheeks, wiping away the tears. She kissed him, wanting for the hurt to go away, and he let her. Buck kissed her back with the same intensity and passion. He would pull himself away from her, only to kiss her again with more intensity than before. Alex lovingly ran her fingers across his shirt, unbuttoning it and felt the bare, warm skin. He moaned at the touch and cradled her head in his hands as he sucked her lips. Their lips were furiously locked as Alex brought him down to her in the grass and ran her hand through his hair. She started undressing his shirt, but then Buck took her hand and, reluctantly, ended the kiss. She looked up at him, confused. Both were panting slightly, and it took a while for Buck to get his voice back. “We shouldn't,” he explained, his lips slightly swollen. “Why?” she whispered. Alex had felt his desire in the kiss, and wondered why he was preventing what the both of them wanted to happen. “Because you could get pregnant, and what will Teaspoon say then?” She bit her lip as he rolled himself off her. She sat up and thought about his words, Teaspoon won't say anything cos I won't be there. Buck tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “Don’t worry, when the time comes, I won't stop you.”
She bit her lip harder, trying not to cry. She got up quickly so Buck wouldn't see her face. Buck frowned, wondering why Alex was upset. Surely she understood that he was doing it for her own benefit? Alex tied her disheveled hair and mounted Wing Foot. “We'd better get going. It's getting dark,” she said, her eyes only on Wing Foot. Buck mounted Warrior, his eyes never leaving Alex. They rode back in silence.
Chapter 11 Teaspoon was just riding in when he saw Alex and Buck heading towards the stables. Both of them were silent, too silent in Teaspoon's opinion. He called Buck and noticed the Kiowa looking rather a mess. Buck's hair was uncombed and his shirt was tucking out. “Something happened?” Teaspoon asked Buck as he approached. Buck shook his head, “Nothing. Why?” “Cos you look like you've been looking for the needle in the haystack, that's why,” Teaspoon answered, noting his appearance. More like looking for the human in the ice queen, Buck thought. “Rough day,” he said instead. Teaspoon nodded, “Well, you better get cleaned up 'fore dinner. You know how Rachel is about cleanliness at mealtimes.” Buck led Warrior to the stables, only to find Alex still there, talking to Wing Foot in Lakota. She was so deep in thought that she didn't hear Buck. Buck just stared at her. For that moment, even with grass in her hair, and her clothes covered in dirt, he saw her as beautiful. Each word she spoke sounded like music to his ears, and she spoke the words so beautifully that Buck almost forgot where he was. All he could think was how special she was to him and how he would die again if he ever lost her. She had grown to be something that he never thought existed, a woman who would want him for who he truly was. She made him feel special, and gave him a new reason to live as each day passed. These thoughts were so strong, that he almost told her, but she sensed his presence, and whatever ideas Buck had about telling her disintegrated as she walked away. Alex had felt that Buck was about to tell her something, but her stubbornness forced her away. She walked outside and saw Teaspoon. Her heart pained again when she realised that she had to leave this man that she had also come to adore. Well, at least I can say goodbye, she thought as she walked towards the marshal.
“Hey, Teaspoon,” she greeted him. Teaspoon nodded at her, “Anything the matter, son?” Alex felt her heart jump at the term he used to call her. More like daughter, she thought. Aloud, she said, "Oh, I just thought I'd thank you for giving me Wing Foot. I haven't had time to do so.” Teaspoon smiled at his sincerity, “Nothing to it, Alex. You're part of the Express now. Part of the family.” Alex wished that she had never gone up to Teaspoon. “Well, yeah, anyway, just wanna thank you, that's all, for everything.” Dammit! Shouldn't have said that! Teaspoon frowned slightly, “Now, sounds like you have plans. Everything alright?” Alex tried to cover up her mistake, “Plans? Nah, everything's just great. I just felt that I oughta thank you for everything you've done for me, make me part of the family and all. I really appreciate it, Teaspoon. Thank you.” “Well, you're welcome,” Teaspoon smiled, “I guess I oughta thank you too. For all that you've done.” “What's that, Teaspoon?” Alex asked, in spite of herself. “You did something that we thought wasn't possible. You made Buck start believing in himself again,” the older man said. Alex smiled to herself, At least I did something right. She looked up at Teaspoon, vowing never to forget anything about the man who made her believe in herself again. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ “And Mrs. Anderson said that maybe one day I could be a lawyer,” Jesse finished. He was relating to everyone how the schoolteacher had praised him on his initiative during the day's lesson, and everyone was listening interestedly to the young boy's pride. The Kid chuckled, “So, are you gonna be a lawyer when you grow older?” Jesse frowned, “No, of course not. I'm gonna buy myself a ranch and become the most richest rancher ever.” “Well, maybe, you and I can split the money two ways, huh, Jesse?” Cody asked.
“Dare to dream, Cody,” Jimmy chuckled as he forked a piece of meat into his mouth. The riders laughed good-naturedly, and even Alex felt the tension inside her easing up. She tried to join in the fun, but she was too nervous and doubtful. Seeing the riders at the table enjoying themselves was making her feel guilty. So, she just smiled, and tried to force the thoughts out of her mind. Buck noticed Alex being quiet, and even though she did laugh at the jokes they made, he could tell that she was forcing it. He wasn't the only one, though. Teaspoon kept glancing at Alex, making sure that he was enjoying himself. He wasn't sure why, but he felt that the green eyed rider was troubled by something. And he wanted to know what. Just before supper was served, Alex excused himself to, saying that he needed to use the outhouse. “Don't be too long,” Rachel called after him, “I made something special for supper.” Alex tried to block out the woman's voice as she made her way to the stables
Chapter 12 “He's gone!” Kid panted as he entered the bunkhouse. “What do you mean he's gone?” Buck asked, stiffening. “Gone,” Kid repeated. “His horse is missing, and he's nowhere at the station.” Everyone looked alarmed at this, especially Buck. “Are you sure?” he asked. “You can check for yourself. All his belongings are gone too.” Kid replied. The Kiowa jumped up from his seat, and ran out, ignoring Teaspoon's calls. He burst into the bunkhouse, frantically going through Alex's bed for anything that might prove Kid wrong. You can't be gone! Alex! You can't! The bed produced nothing and Buck proceeded to the stables. He saw the empty stall and cursed loudly, not caring if anyone heard. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. He would have started pounding on the walls, when Jimmy stopped him. Buck fell to his knees in frustration. His breathing was quick and sharp as he tried not to scream his fury. “Buck, Buck!” Jimmy shook the Indian, “Get a hold of yourself!”
Teaspoon and the other riders had reached the stables and were greeted by the sight of Jimmy and Buck, crouched on the ground. “He must've left during dinner,” Kid whispered. “We all saw him leave, we just didn't know,” Noah said, his voice low. “Why? Why would Alex leave just like that?” Jesse asked. “I s'pose Buck can tell us,” Teaspoon said gravely, studying the Kiowa as he got to his feet. “Tell us what happened, Buck.” Buck opened his mouth, but closed it again. He knew that if he said anything, it would be about Alex's true identity, and he wouldn't reveal that. “I don't know, Teaspoon,” he said, “But I know that Alex would never leave without a real good reason. I think he was forced to do it.” “Forced?” Teaspoon scratched his chin, “By who? Anyone got any ideas?” The other riders shook their heads. Lou kept rubbing her knuckles as she looked at Buck, thinking what it was that had happened. But, the Kiowa's face remained blank, revealing nothing. Everyone heard Teaspoon sigh as he neared Buck. Buck looked up at him. Teaspoon said, “Buck, do you trust me?” Buck stared into the eyes of the man whom he regarded as his father figure for the past year, “Of course,Teaspoon. Why?” “I'm asking you to trust me without knowing why. Can you do that?” Buck nodded his head slowly as the other riders watched them, silently wondering what the marshal was up to. Teaspoon turned to the other riders, “I want some boys to ride out and look for Alex. Buck,” he faced him again, “I’m sure you wouldn't mind going.” Buck nodded. Teaspoon turned to the other riders again, as each thought whether they should help. Buck gave them each a pleading look, knowing that he would need them. “I'll go,” a voice finally said. It was Noah. He figured that he should try and find Alex. He did want to know what was going on. Jimmy hesitated for a while, then, too, volunteered himself. “Buck and Noah's gonna need all the help they can get,” he had said.
“No,” Teaspoon told him, “I need you to ride into town and get Barnett. He'll be at the jailhouse. Tell him to be on the lookout for a runaway rider.” Jimmy nodded, then dashed off to Bullet. Teaspoon assigned the Kid and Lou to be at the way station, in case Alex came back. Cody went off with Buck and Noah, while a restless Jesse was whipped off to bed by Rachel. As the riders led their horses out, Buck approached Teaspoon. “You're not gonna have him locked up, are you, Teaspoon?” he asked, concerned. “Don't worry, Buck,” the man said, “I ain't gonna do anything that'd hurt Alex. I know him, and I know that he won't leave just like that. I want you to look for him, cos I wanna make sure that he's safe.” “No, Teaspoon,” Buck told him, “I ain't just gonna make sure he's okay. I'm gonna bring him back.” Teaspoon looked down for a moment before looking straight into the Kiowa's eyes. His gaze was so intense, that Buck was slightly startled. “Ride safe,” Teaspoon said as Buck mounted Warrior. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Alex could feel a shiver running down her back as Wing Foot slowed down. She wasn't sure where she was exactly, but she knew that she was somewhere outside of town, maybe a mile away. More than once did she think about turning around and heading back to the way station. She tried, but she couldn't force the thoughts out of her head. She kept thinking about the riders and how she would miss them. She regretted not being able to say goodbye. At that moment, she wished that she was at the bunkhouse with the riders, cracking up at Cody's jokes. Eating Rachel's delicious cooking, watching at how Jesse tried to imitate what Jimmy did, hearing Teaspoon's stories, talking to Lou about things that she would know. Sitting under the stars with Buck, in his arms, feeling warm, safe and happy. She sighed and wondered if the riders already knew that she was gone and also what Buck was feeling. She hated herself for hurting Buck, when all that he had done was welcome her and made her feel safe. She had no choice. Sonny already knew who she was, and had plans to hurt anyone that she knew. She couldn't risk it, but neither could she endure the pain she was feeling. Wing Foot whinnied as though he sensed his master's predicament. Alex rubbed his head, “I know you miss them. I do too, but we have to do this if we want them to be safe.” She whispered something in his ear, then sat upright. She thought she heard a noise. Silence.
There it was again. As if someone was following her. She tightened her hold on Wing Foot's reins quickened his pace. The rustling soon got louder, and was followed by the crackling of twigs. She started to panic. Wing Foot could also feel the tension and became alert. The horse broke into a gallop as the noises got louder. The darkness favoured their stalker as Alex could no longer tell where they were going. Suddenly, without warning, Wing Foot skidded to a stop, as though startled by an unseen force. Alex gave a cry as she was thrown off its back. She cried in pain as her shoulder hit a rock. The last thing she heard was a gunshot before all became black.
Chapter 13 Kid squinted his eyes as he peered into the dark. Behind him, he could hear Buck's restless pacing. He, together with Noah and Cody, had returned fifteen minutes ago. Their search had been futile, and Buck wanted to continue searching, but Noah had finally persuaded him to return to the station. He figured that in the past two hours, Alex might have returned or had been found, but no. Alex was still missing. Buck wanted to search again, but Teaspoon had told him to rest, and wait for Jimmy. Kid sighed and hoped that Jimmy would bring some good news, and wondered what the chances of that were. Everyone at the station was awake, even Jesse, who had protested going to bed. Kid blinked his eyes as he saw a figure approaching them. “Rider comin'!” he called, “It's Jimmy!” Everyone rushed outside as they saw the dark figure nearing. Buck frowned and held his breath as he saw the figure. It looked to big to be Jimmy. He was carrying someone. Everyone's suspicions were confirmed as Jimmy approached them. “I found him in the woods. He was already unconscious when I found him.” he said as he dismounted Bullet. Buck carried Alex into the bunkhouse as Cody went to fetch the doctor. They all crowded around Alex as he was gently placed onto the bed. “My god,” Rachel whispered as she looked at Alex. The rider's face was covered in dirt and there was blood on his shirt. “What happened, Jimmy?” Kid asked, “Where’s Wing Foot?” Jimmy hesitated, “I don't know.” He paused, “There’s something that you should know, though.” They looked at Jimmy, waiting.
“What is it?” Teaspoon asked him, patience no longer a virtue. He hated it whenever one of his riders was injured, and Alex was no exception. “I...I was carrying him,” Jimmy began, “And... er...Teaspoon? I, I think Alex might be a...girl." “What?” Teaspoon whispered. Even Buck turned to look at him. “How do you know?” Rachel asked. “Well, he, I mean she, was too light, and I...” Jimmy hesitated, his face turning red. “What is it, Jimmy?” Lou asked in a warning tone. “I, I think I might have touched something that I shouldn't have,” Jimmy stammered. “You!” Buck yelled as he launched himself on the gunfighter. “How dare you touch her!” “It was an accident!” Jimmy defended. The other riders pulled them apart. “Don't be so defensive, Buck! How long have you known, huh? How long?” Jimmy snarled. “ENOUGH!” Teaspoon’s voice hushed them. He gave Jimmy a warning look that told him to hold his tongue and then pointed at Buck, “The truth, Buck.” “It's not his fault,” a faint voice spoke up. They all turned and saw Alex trying to get up. Buck broke free of Kid's grip and rushed to her side. “Don't get up. You're injured,” he said gently as he held her. “No, it's not my blood,” she said as she rested again, “It's Wing Foot's.” Teaspoon sat down on her bedside. “Alex?” Alex looked up at him. She took off her glasses, “I'm sorry, Teaspoon. What Jimmy said is true, and please, don't blame Buck. I made him promise not to tell anyone. I had to disguise myself cos I knew you weren't gonna hire girls. That's why.” There was a long moment of silence before Teaspoon shook his head, “I can understand that, but what I don't understand is why you left tonight. You were going on great here, so why leave?” Alex bit her lip and she trembled slightly. Only then did everyone see her femininity. She sighed, “Buck, remember when I told you that there were a
lot of things I hated myself for? I'm gonna tell you everything, cos I'm tired of lying and running away.” Buck nodded as he held her hand and caressed it. Jimmy noticed this, and understood why Buck was protective of her. Alex ran her free hand through her hair. She was nervous about telling them. She was about to tell them everything, her life story. She needed courage and strength. Buck's hand comforted her, but she needed something stronger, something that belonged to her even before she was brought into the world. She reached into her shirt and pulled out the necklace she always wore. The white heart. Teaspoon gasped as he saw the heart. He felt as though his heart had stopped beating. “Where did you get that?” he asked her. Alex looked puzzled and frowned. “Sharina,” she heard him whisper. “Sharina?” Rachel repeated. Now, everyone's eyes were on Teaspoon as he shook his head. “Oh...no, I'm sorry.” “Sharina was my mother's name,” Alex whispered as her eyes started to sting. Teaspoon stared at her as he pulled out something from his shirt. A white heart, identical to the one Alex was wearing. “Whoa,” Jesse whispered. He was thinking how weird things were getting. Alex blinked her eyes, “Father?” Her voice was barely audible, but everyone in the room heard it clearly. Teaspoon shook his head as he ran his hands across her cheek. Her green eyes shone with tears, staring back at him. “You look just like your mother,” he whispered. Alex couldn't contain herself as she hugged the man who had brought her into the world.
Chapter 14 Buck stared unbelievably as Alex recognised Teaspoon as her father. “How?” he asked. “Okay,” Jesse said, “Could someone please explain what's going on?” Alex withdrew from Teaspoon's embrace as she wiped the tears that were running down her cheek. Teaspoon couldn't help but stare at her. This was his
daughter. Almost a month of working together, and he didn't even realize the possibilities that Alex was a girl, and also his daughter. “How did you get here? Where's Sharina? The village?” he had so many questions to ask, but none that Alex would answer yet. ”Please, listen to my story,” she said as Teaspoon nodded. Alex had one hand in Teaspoon's palm and the other in Buck's. She took a deep breath and began. “When I was young, I grew up in my Comanche village. I never knew who my father was, but my mother would always tell me stories about him, and how, one day, we would be reunited again with the white heart.” She glanced at Teaspoon as he nodded for her to continue. She said, “There was unrest in the area that we lived in. There were threats of White men hunting for Indians, and we were always on the move, searching for a safer place. One day, when we thought that the threat was over, my mother and I went to pick berries that would grow that season. They were my mother's favourites. We didn't go very far, but somehow, we started wandering, and soon, we had become distant from the village.” She paused, her face pained by the memories to come. “My mother heard a noise as we were playing. She heard riders approaching fast, and told me to hide behind some large bushes. I saw everything that happened next.” Her voice was beginning to shake, and her eyes were shining with mournful tears. She didn't know if she could go on, but Buck's gentle squeeze gave her strength. She closed her eyes, hearing vividly the hooves thundering against the hard ground. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ Sharina could feel her heart beating against her chest. She turned to fourteen year old White Star as the young girl pulled her mother's arm, “Mother, what is happening?” Sharina knelt down facing her daughter. The fear was clearly written on her face. “Bad men are coming, White Star,” she told the child, “They are coming to get us. You must hide yourself, and never let them get you. When they leave, run, run from here.” She shoved something into the Alexandria's hand. It was a bunch of money tied in a bundle. “Here, listen to me, don't let them find you, and the village. Do you understand? Do you understand me, White Star?” The girl nodded and Sharina hugged her tightly, “Oh, my Alexandria.” She pushed her daughter away to hide in the bushes.
White Star watched silently as the riders surrounded her mother, shouting with glee. The men dismounted their horses and closed in on the Comanche woman. The leader, a man with golden brown hair, began touching Sharina as she tried to fight them. The men laughed as they saw how the native woman was retaliating. Sharina screamed at them in her native language, cursing them. The leader grabbed her from behind as she screamed and stamped his foot. He cried out in pain before hitting her. White Star watched as she saw her mother fall to the ground, her face bruised. The men immediately forced themselves on her. They took no notice as she cried in pain. White Star could feel her mother's suffering, but she felt so helpless. She just sat there in the bushes, thinking, It's alright, mother, be strong. White Star closed her eyes as she willed her thoughts to her mother. Sharina felt her daughter's presence and smiled. She stopped screaming, and spirited herself away to be with her daughter. The men then proceeded to burning all of the things that White Star and Sharina had brought with them, but White Star and Sharina were not even there. Their spirits were in a place where they could be in each other's embrace for the last time. When White Star opened her eyes, it was already dark, and the men were still there. She saw her mother lying at exactly the same place as before. She bit her lip as she watched the men. They were drinking and making jokes about the woman who was lying there, bruised, bloodied, and battered. The leader walked up to Sharina. He knelt in front of her. Cupping her face in his palm, he whispered, “You’re one beautiful Injun, y'know that?” Sharina just stared at him, her face of pure hate. But the man with golden hair just chuckled. He waved the bottle of whiskey in front of her, “You must be thirsty, ain'tcha?” He drank from the bottle, “I’ll make you a deal, Injun,” he snarled, “Tell me where your village is and I'll let you go, huh?” He waved the bottle in front of her again. This time, Sharina actually smiled. She raised her head, as though reaching out for the bottle. The man brought the bottle to her lips as she drank the whiskey. “Atta girl,” he whispered, grinning. Sharina smiled at him, and spit the liquid onto his face. “Dammit!” he cursed, wiping his face. He glared at her. Sharina's face turned hateful, ”Go to hell!” “Damn you!” he cried as he kicked her. White Star watched in horror as her mother was punched and kicked again. This time, though, another man came up to stop him. “Sonny! Stop that!” he said, holding their leader back. This man had black hair and blue eyes, White Star noticed.
“If you want information, you can't kill her now,” the man said. Despite the man's attempts to prevent Sonny from killing her mother, White Star saw the real truth behind his excuses. Mercy. She could tell that he was the only one with a heart, but she still hated him for hurting Sharina. Sonny grunted as he released himself from the man's grip. “Bob,” he called the man, “Don’t go too soft on 'em. They'll eat you alive if you don't watch your back.” Bob nodded grimly as he looked at Sharina. Sonny was oblivious to this as he approached her. “You know what? I just had a damn good idea.” The rest of his friends looked up from their drinks at his words. They always trusted Sonny to come up with ideas and plans that would rake in the profits. Sonny walked drowsily towards Sharina. “How bout we make her as bait?” “Bait?” Bob asked. “Yeah,” Sonny said, “We keep her alive, and we use her to draw out the whole tribe.” The other riders let out a whoop. They were always thrilled whenever their fearless leader came up with something, anything. Sonny turned to his gang, hands raised as though in victory. “You hear that, Injun? We gonna bring out your whole damned tribe, and you'll be doing it for us,” Sonny chuckled. Sharina heard their words clearly, and immediately knew that she couldn't let herself be part of their plan. She tried to get up without anyone looking. Painfully, she reached for the dagger that had fallen from one of the men. “Look out! She's got a knife!” someone shouted. Sonny turned around, to see Sharina on her feet, with a blue stoned dagger in her hands. Sharina could feel the pain all over her body, but she ignored it. She raised the dagger high above her head and cried an ancient cry. It was a cry that reminded her People of their heritage, a cry that represented their freedom, of who they truly were. With one swift motion, she brought the dagger down to her abdomen, and, as her blood flowed, vowed that her People would never be taken. “NO!” Bob cried as Sharina brought the dagger down to her stomach, her icy stare never leaving Sonny.
Chapter 15 White Star felt her heart stop beating as she saw her mother fall to the ground once more. Her eyes were wide with fury, hate and shocked at what she had just saw. Never did she ever believe that something like this would happen to her. Without thinking, she charged towards Sonny, her voice raised. She lunged at him, fingers on his face. She didn't even think of how small she was compared to the man. All she did was to claw at him, wanting to scratch out his eyes. She screamed profanities in her ancestors' language, cursing him with the might of angry gods. Sonny tried to fight back as he pushed the child away. He hurled her away and White Star fell to the ground, her fall supported as she landed on Bob. She panted, trying to get up as Bob pulled her down. Sonny spitted out blood as he looked at his attacker. His eyes grew wider as he realised who it was. “You're a girl,” he said amusingly. White Star was too infuriated to be taunted by his sarcasm. She looked at him with the purest of hate and loathing that even Sonny was a bit taken aback by it. He crouched down in front of her, “You must be the Injun's daughter, huh?” He looked back to where Sharina's body lay, her blood starting to form a small pool. “Well, Mommy's dead, now. She was dumb enough to kill herself. You must hate me for that,” he taunted her, “So go on, hit me. Give me your best shot.” White Star took his invitation and began screaming and thrashing about, trying to get her hands on Sonny. Bob had to tighten his grip on her hands as he struggled to keep her away from Sonny. Sonny drew back, “Ooooh, this one's got fire. Just like her mother.” He laughed in the child's face. “Tie her up. Look's like we have a replacement for our original bait.” The gang cheered loudly as Bob tried to tie the child's hands. “Let me go!” she pleaded. Bob tried to hide his guilt from Sonny as he bounded the child. Unlike the rest of them he was still human, and killing Indians was one thing, but hurting a child was another. Fortunately for him, Sonny was too busy getting drunk again. “Please, let me go,” White Star pleaded, her voice now a whisper. There were tearstains on her face as she looked at Bob in the eye. Bob looked back at her, and his heart pained. Her green eyes stared at him, asking for her life. He knew that once her village had been drawn out, she would be nothing to them, just a piece of corpse. Bob placed one finger on her lips. Then, he walked away as White Star sobbed uncontrollably.
An owl hooted hauntingly somewhere in the trees, awakening White Star from her slumber. She had fallen asleep for a while, only to wake up and find the gang's campsite silent. Sonny and his friends were unconsciously lying around, their snores audible. White Star looked to her side and saw her mother's body still on the ground, but this time, someone had cleaned her and she was lying in a state of peace. White Star moved about, trying to loosen the bonds. Her hands and feet were numb and she could feel the ropes biting into her skin. She gasped slightly as she felt a hand on her arm. She turned around to see Bob. His face was dark as he motioned for her to be quiet. White Star could feel something cool and smooth against her wrist. She closed her eyes, knowing that in a few seconds, she would be dead as her blood flowed. She waited for the pain to come, and it did, but only for a moment. She opened her eyes and saw that Bob had cut her loose. Her eyes widened as Bob whispered to her, “Don't make a sound.” She nodded as she crawled to her mother's side. Sharina was still beautiful, even in death. White Star stifled a sob as she stroked her mother's hair. Her lips quivered as she touched her mother's cold skin. Her hands wandered to the dagger that lay beside her mother's body. Bob looked at the young girl as she bid her mother farewell. He crouched next to her, “You can't stay here if you want to live.” White Star looked up at the man who had raped her mother, then saved her life. Bob continued, “Run, you'd better run before they wake up. Don't worry, I'll give your mother a proper burial.” White Star stood up. She studied the Bob's face, then, with one last look at her mother, she turned and fled into the darkness, bringing with her the blue stone dagger. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ Alex took a deep breath as she tightened her hold on Buck's hand. The whole room had turned silent, and everyone could hear Lou's sniffs. Rachel whispered, “Oh, my god.” She closed her eyes as she uttered a silent prayer. Teaspoon's face became somber as he heard of Sharina's dying moments. He studied Alex's face. He found the resemblance uncanny. “What happened next?” Teaspoon asked, his voice strained as he tried to keep it under control. Buck looked at Alex, finding it hard to believe what she had gone through. He knew that she had been through some rough times, but it was worse than he thought. He felt Alex's hand tightening around his, and returned the favour, rubbing her cold knuckles with both his hands. He knew that she was going to
need all the strength she had to recall everything that had happened, and gladly gave her all that he had. She had suffered terribly as a child. Too much, he thought. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ White Star ran as fast as her legs would allow her. She ignored the darkness, and ran, not knowing where she was heading. In the dark, she couldn't see well enough to return to her village. Besides, she was afraid that Bob was just tricking her into leading them to the People. She ran faster at the thought that they might be following her. She yelled as she tumbled over a large stone. She fell headfirst and lost her senses as the night devoured her. The light hurt her eyes as she tried to open them. It took a while for White Star to remember where she was. She remembered the woods and the men that had raped her mother, but the place that she was in made no sense with her memory. She was in a small room that she couldn't recognise. It was like any normal bedroom, with a mirror and a cupboard. She tried to sit up, but her head hurt so much that she lied down again. She felt different as she moved. She looked down at herself and saw that she was wearing something white and light. When she realised she was wearing a nightdress, she started to panic. Where were her clothes? What happened? Did the men have her? She looked around, trying to find her clothes and found them hanging on a chair. She wondered what was the best way to get them without hurting so much. She tried to find something to defend herself if the men came. Suddenly, the door opened. “Oh, my,” a woman said, entering the room. White Star's eyes widened as she saw a man entering behind the woman. He was dressed in a coat and was carrying a bag. White Star couldn't recognise who he was and knew that he wasn't one of the men from the woods. The woman came to the White Star's side as the child sat up, wary. “Oh, don't be frightened. I ain't gonna harm you,” the woman said, smiling. “My name is Ruby. What's your name?” White Star couldn't answer. It seemed as if she had lost her voice, but, in actual fact, she was too frightened by what was happening. The man behind her shook his head, “Seems like the cat got her tongue.” “She's probably just frightened, Warner,” Ruby said. Warner sat beside the girl, “Hello there, I'm Dr Bamber. Who are you?”
“Where am I?” White Star asked, staring at them. “You're in my house,” Ruby answered, “I found you lying on the road last night. You were unconscious, so I brought you here.” White Star struggled to remember what happened. As the events of the night before filled her mind, Ruby could see the child's eyes filled with pain, anger and hate all at the same time. “Warner,” she called the doctor, “Maybe you should just check her condition. I'll try and talk to her.” The good doctor nodded and proceeded to do the check up. At first, White Star was reluctant to have Dr Bamber touch her, but a little coaxing by Ruby eased things. Ruby always had a way with people, something that she both loved and hated. After the routine check up, and Dr Bamber declaring that 'the child is absolutely fine, except for some bruises on her legs', Ruby ushered him out, leaving the two young women alone. As soon as they were alone, Ruby pulled up a chair and sat beside White Star. She fidgeted with the bed sheets, as White Star noticed that her hands, as well as her face were painted. “Well,” Ruby began, unsure of what to say. “Since you're alright, would you mind telling me why you were lying in the middle of the road last night?” White Star found herself unable to answer. Although Ruby seemed to be a kind person, she wasn't sure how she would react to her story. She looked up at the women whose face resembled a porcelain doll, and felt that she could be trusted. “I was attacked,” she said softly, staring at Ruby's face, trying to read her expression. Ruby's eyes widened, “By Indians?” White Star shook her head, “No. Why would they attack me? My grandfather was one of the strongest warrior of our People. He would never let anyone hurt me.” “You're Indian?” Ruby asked. White Star nodded, “My father was a White man and my mother was a Comanche woman.” Her voice softened when she mentioned her mother. Ruby noticed the change, and asked, “What happened to your mother?”
She could see the child's lips trembling and almost immediately regretted what she had said. But, White Star was strong, and she knew that Ruby could help her. “My mother was Sharina. We were in the woods yesterday when we were attacked by White men. They raped and beat my mother, until she killed herself. I managed to run away, but I couldn't save my mother,” White Star said, her eyes on the pillow in her hands. She paused, unable to continue as she felt the tears in her eyes and the sadness in her throat. Ruby gasped, never thinking what terror the child must have gone through, “Do you know who did it?” White Star nodded, “A man named Sonny and another man named Bob. There were other men, too.” Ruby looked down at this new bit of information. She knew Sonny, she had even 'worked' with him at times, but she had no idea that he hunted Indians. Ruby never liked those hunters who claimed that they were doing it for justice and the safety of the people, she knew that it was all crap, an excuse to satisfy their animal instincts. Ruby looked as the girl hugged her knees and rocked back and forth, her mind reeling with the tragedy. White Star could feel the eyes on her, and knew how the woman must feel. She looked up and saw the woman's face. Her eyes were filled with tears and the corners of her painted mouth were pulled down. Ruby sighed as she gathered the child in her arms and hugged her. She could feel the girl's soft body shaking with anger and sadness as she cried. She held the girl until the tears dried.
Chapter 16 Over the next few days, White Star and Ruby got to know each other better. Ruby had decided to call the child by her first name, Alexandria, thinking that her Indian name would attract unwanted attention. Alexandria was given new clothes for her to blend in. For once, Alexandria was thankful for her white skin. She was able to go into town without causing a stir, and Ruby taught her all she needed to know about the White World. Alexandria often questioned whenever Ruby went out at night. The woman would only say that it was for work, and that was that. But, Alexandria would never stop wondering where the woman went in such an hour. One night, just before Ruby went to work, Alexandria sat beside her, watching with big eyes. Ruby was adjusting her dress, the low neckline revealing her essentials, more than was thought proper.
“Why do you wear a dress that shows?" Alexandria asked innocently. Even though Ruby had taught her about life, she had left out what certain women, like her, did for a living. This time, though, she felt that it was time the child should know. Ruby sat down beside her, stroking Alexandria's raven hair. “Sometimes, we as women, find it hard to get a job that we like. And, because we need the money to survive, we do jobs that......require us to use all our......potentials.” “Like?” “Like... your body,” Ruby said, finding it hard to explain. But, Alexandria understood, and her eyes went wide with the knowledge. Even though she was new to the ways of the White Men, she was a fast learner, and she knew perfectly what Ruby was referring to. “You...give yourself....to men?” she asked, not believing that someone like Ruby would do such a thing. Ruby looked away. For once, in her whole life, she was actually ashamed of what she was. She had never thought of whoring as such a bad thing as it gave her both money and pleasure, but now, just telling a girl who she was made her wish she had a different life. Alexandria kept staring at the woman, “Do you like what you do?” Ruby blinked her eyes, “Well, sometimes, yes.” She blushed as she could feel the eyes of the fourteen-year-old girl on her. Now, it was Alexandria's turn to look away. Her own mother had been taken by men, men who had caused her death, and here, Ruby was telling her that she enjoyed giving herself to them. As if there was no pain, no hurt and no sadness. But, she knew that this world was not the same as her tribe. The women here were forced to do things they hated for a living. Alexandria knew that Ruby hated what she did, despite what she said, and did not feel disgusted or disappointed with the woman whom she had come to trust. In fact, she respected the Ruby because of her courage and kindness. She looked up into Ruby's brown eyes and said, “I understand.” Ruby stared back at the child, surprised, and did something that she never did before, she leaned down and kissed Alexandria on her forehead. She could feel the child smiling and her heart fluttered. “Don't wait up for me,” she said as she opened the door and left. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ Teaspoon saw how Alex's hands kept getting entangled in the sheets, how she kept biting her lip to keep herself from crying, and how her voice trembled every time she mentioned something painful. He squeezed her shoulder, “Maybe you should get some rest.”
Buck nodded. He too had noticed how hard it was for her to tell her story, and it killed him to see her in such pain. He wanted to ease it, to kiss it all away, but he knew that he couldn't. This was all inside Alex, and she had to fight it herself. All he could do was give her comfort and support. But Alex shook her head, “I need to finish this. You need to know.” She looked at Teaspoon. She could see the anger in his eyes when she told him of what happened, it reflected her own emotions. Teaspoon drowned into her green eyes and nodded quietly. Alex had courage and strength, something that her mother also had. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ Alexandria would watch as Ruby left the house at night and return in the morning. She would be in a state of tiredness, but she hid it by being cheery and happy. Every night after she left for work, Alexandria would sit by the window, feeling lonely. The small room that Ruby owned would seem dead with silence. It was only a few days ago did Alexandria find out that the 'house' that belonged to Ruby was actually a room in the brothel where she worked. Ruby had told everyone, including the owner of the brothel, that Alexanadria was her niece whose parents had died, and she was given to her to take care of. Everyone had believed the story and had even taken a liking to the young girl. Ruby, however, had warned Alexandria to keep away from the women. She didn't want the child to be corrupted. To Ruby, Alexandria resembled the only pure thing in her life, and she didn't want to lose that. She had already lost her pride, she would make sure that Alexandria would never be corrupted. And the child understood this. She knew what she meant to the woman, and she knew enough than to be corrupted by thoughts forbidden by the Comanche religion. Every night when she was alone in the room, she would clutch the white heart in her hands, whispering songs or prayers of her tribe. She did this because she feared that she would forget her People, and she prayed that her People would always be with her. She would then remember her family and her life in the tribe. She longed to be with her grandfather, her half brothers and her friend, Eric. She remembered spending days with them going hunting. The girls in the tribe had kept away from her, because of her white skin, but it was the boys who accepted her. She had spunk and courage, and she would gladly follow wherever they went, in search of adventure. Whenever she thought about her People, the silence of the room would subside, only to be replaced with laughter and shouts of glee as she pictured herself running through the land with her brothers and friends, basking in the glory of the sun and the life it offered. But then, she would open her eyes and find herself in a room that smelled of strong perfume. She had told Ruby about what happened to her mother, and begged her to report it to the sheriff, but Ruby refused. If the matter was to be reported, Alexandria would be in trouble as most of the people in town were against
Indians. Alexandria would then be captured and handed over to the very hunters who had raped her mother, and Ruby would be thrown in jail for assisting an Indian by providing shelter. But Alexandria never stopped hating the men who had caused this. As each day passed, she vowed to revenge her mother's death, swearing that she would hunt each of them down. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ It had been almost six months when Ruby came back one morning, looking more tired than ever. Not only was her hair disheveled, her face was pale and sunken. Lately, she had been refusing to eat and she became weaker. “Don't ask,” Ruby pointed a finger at the child as she walked in. “Wasn't gonna,” Alexandria replied, but secretly she was worried about the woman. She looked so pale and fragile that Alexandria worried that she might just fall over, which she did. The girl gave a cry as she saw the woman fall, one hand on a chair trying to steady herself. Alexandria hurried to her side as the woman lay unconscious. “Help! Someone get the doctor!” She cried silently as her heart begged the spirits to help her.
Chapter 17 Alexandria watched as Ruby's chest moved up and down as she breathed. Dr Bamber said that Ruby was seriously ill, and needed medical attention by specialists from overseas, but Ruby had refused. She didn't have enough money, and she knew that she would never make the journey in time. Now, Alexandria just sat beside her, watching her every breath. “You should be asleep, young lady,” Ruby whispered, startling the girl from her daze. “And you should be resting,” Alexandria replied, gently stroking the woman's fiery red hair. “I am,” came the reply. Ruby sighed for a moment, “I guess this is the punishment I deserve for all the bad things I've done. Well, it's about time I go.” “Don't say that,” Alexandria scolded. She didn't want the woman to give up so easily.
“Oh, come on,” Ruby said, “We both know that I ain't gonna make it.” She coughed loudly, her voice raspy. “You will, you could, if you go see the specialists Dr Bamber was talkin' about,” Alexandria reasoned, rubbing Ruby's back. “Forget it, I ain't got the money,” Ruby said. Alex bit her lip, “I’ve got some money,” she said softly, “My mother gave it to me before......well, I could give it to you.” Ruby turned to look at the child, her eyes angry, “Now, you listen here, don't you dare use that money for my welfare, you hear? That money was from your mother, and I ain't gonna let you waste it on me. You get that?” Alexandria nodded timidly. She had never heard Ruby speak like that before and she was scared. Ruby laid her head back down and sighed, “You’ve got a long way to go, kid. A real long way. You gonna need that money, especially if you gonna try your luck and find 'em bastards who hurt you and your momma.” Alexandria's eyes grew wide at her words, “You want me to find them?” “One day you will, kid, no doubt about that,” she whispered, closing her eyes as she fell asleep. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ As each day passed, Ruby's health deteriorated. She began to fall asleep more often, only to be awaken by nightmares. The nightmares seemed to drain the life out of her as she sat up in her bed, panting and sweating. Alexandria would rush to her bedside and comfort her, wiping her face with a towel and whisper words that would calm her down. Alexandria hardly got any sleep at night, knowing that she would have to coax Ruby into sleep again. One afternoon as Alexandria was just settling Ruby to sleep, Mr. Dinger, the owner of the brothel, came by. His face was tired and it looked as though he hadn't been getting much sleep either. Alexandria soon knew the reason why he came. “Can I talk to you a 'lil more privately?” he asked her, keeping his voice low when he realized that Ruby was asleep. Alexandria nodded and stepped outside. The air outside the room was intoxicated with the smell of heavy perfume, cigars and alcohol, a stench Alexandria hated the most.
She looked up at the man and wondered what he wanted. Mr. Dinger was a worn man, a bit on the heavy side. He had this thin moustache across his face that he thought made him look charming. He was a firm man who wouldn't stand any nonsense, but, like so many others, he was taken by this teenaged orphan who many thought wasn't Indian. Mr. Dinger cleared his throat to get Alexandria's attention. “You know that, um Ruby, she ain't got much time left. Y'know that, don't cha?” Alexandria nodded, dreading the words that she didn't want to hear. He continued, “Good, then, I know you're Ruby's niece and all, but I don't know what to do with ya when Ruby, you know.” Alexandria nodded again, understanding the implications that the man was facing. She, too, had been thinking about what would happen if Ruby died, and she knew that she had few choices. Mr. Dinger looked away, “So, what do you think you're gonna do?" Alexandria noted the tone in his voice and could have smiled at what she knew. He wanted the best for her, the best that he could offer, anyway. She drew a deep breath and said, “Work here.” Mr. Dinger turned back to her, eyebrows raised, “Excuse me?” She took another deep breath, “I’m gonna work here. If you'd let me, that is.” “Wait a minute, you're kinda too young to do what Ruby does, but are you sure about this?” Alexandria smiled at him, “I don't mean to work as a you know what, I mean I wanna work here as a cleaner or a maid or something.” “Oh...as a cleaner. Guess you're not ready for the big stuff yet, are you kid?” he asked, rubbing his chin. Alexandria forced a smile and he continued, “Alright then. You can start work as soon as possible.” He shook her hand and and started to walk away when he turned to her again and said as an afterthought, "Oh, if you change your mind and think about following your aunt's footsteps, don't hesitate to let me know.” Alexandria just kept the smile on her face as she watched him leave, praying to the gods to release her from her burden. That night, Alexandria looked out the window at the drunken men who had women hanging from their hands. She tried to recognise each men, and saw that she had seen all of them with Ruby at least once before. A small groan brought her attention to the woman lying in the bed.
She got up and went to the bedside. “Hello, there. How are you feeling?” “Half dead,” Ruby replied unenthusiastically. She drank the water that Alexandria brought to her lips. The feeling of coolness going down her throat made her smile. “How am I looking?” she asked the now fifteen-year-old girl. “As beautiful as ever,” Alexandria replied, hoping that her lie wasn't obvious. In actual fact, Ruby had never looked more terrible. Her face was ghastly white and her lips had almost turned blue. She had bags under her eyes and her red hair that was once full of life and fire was now lying limp and damp on the pillows. She had become skinnier and her body was so fragile that she was afraid to move. But, her eyes had not changed. They were still screaming with life and hope. It was the only thing that made others aware that she was still alive. Alexandria pulled up a chair and sat watching her. Ruby smiled at the sight of the girl eyeing her like a mother hen. “Stop watching me like that. You've been worrying over me so much, it's starting to make me wonder whose the woman in the room.” Alexandria laughed softly, that even in such a state, Ruby could still make jokes, “Well, six months ago, you were fussing about me, now it's my turn to take care of you.” Ruby managed a smile and looked at the ceiling, “Do you really think you wanna work in this hellhole?” Alexandria sat up. How did she know about her working here? As if answering her unsaid question, Ruby said, “I heard what you and Mr. Dinger were talking about. You left the door open and I wasn't asleep.” Alexandria bit her lip. Ruby knew more than she thought, “I don't have much of a choice. I need to get a job before I leave this place. Since you're sick, someone has to put food on the table.” She had meant it as a joke, but Ruby was staring at her seriously. “Oh, Alexandria,” she said, “You’re the only thing in my god damn life that actually means something to me. You might not know this, but you renewed my faith in myself.” Alexandria cocked her head to one side, unsure of what she meant by that. Ruby smiled and said, “When you came to my life, you resembled something pure and the only thing that I was proud to call mine, of course, it was just a lie to make the others understand, but it was worth it.” She coughed and took deep breaths to regulate her breathing. When she was alright, she continued, “I would rather die than to let anyone corrupt you. You mean so much to me, you know that?”
Alexandria nodded, knowing what was going to come next. Ruby began coughing more, and each cough took away any ounce of energy she had left. Alexandria reached for the glass of water, but Ruby took her hand and held it close to her chest. “I'm dying, White Star. There's no point in saying anything else. Promise me that you'll never give away your pride to someone who don't deserve your love. Promise me that you'll never forget who you are, and who you want to become. Promise me this.” The child held her hand tightly and whispered in her ear, “I promise.” Her eyes filled with tears as she saw Ruby close her eyes. “Atta girl,” Ruby whispered back, drawing her last breath. Alexandria White Star watched as Ruby stopped fighting the pain, as it left her, taking her soul with her. She buried her head into the woman's chest and felt the peaceful silence of her unbeating heart. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ After Ruby's funeral, Alexandria started her work as the maid in the brothel. She worked only in the day, taking care to stay away from the men who came. Mr. Dinger was kind enough to let her stay in Ruby's room, giving her full ownership of the room as long as she worked there. Alexandria worked hard and did everything that she thought should be done. She cleaned after everyone, always keeping herself busy, so as to occupy her mind with other things than Ruby's death. She dreaded the nights when she had to return to the empty room. Everywhere she looked, she would be reminded of the woman who had took her in. Ruby's belongings were still in the room. Alexandria hadn't had the time to think of what she was to do with them, or rather, she didn't want to know what to do with them. It was the custom of her people to burn the belongings of the dead, so as to accompany the soul in its journey. But, Ruby wasn't Comanche. She was a white, and Alexandria didn't know what it was that she should do. She couldn't bear throwing away the things that once belonged to the woman, so she tried not to think of them, and it worked. For a while. One night, Alexandria retired to her room earlier than usual, and realised that she had nothing to do. Usually, she would go straight to bed, but it was too early and she wasn't feeling the least bit sleepy. Without thinking, her hands opened Ruby's small chest that held her belongings. A couple of old dresses, some pictures of people she never knew and a book. Alexandria took the book and held it in her hands. It was very old, the cover was worn and the pages had begun to turn yellow. Alexandria could barely make out the title in front. A closer look revealed the title 'Cinderella' on the hard cover. She opened the book and saw a name scrawled inside. 'Ruby Dellan.' Underneath it was a short prayer, written by Ruby herself, in her neat handwriting. Alexandria ran her finger across the words that Ruby had wrote,
as realization hit her. Only then did she see Ruby as a person, with a past, with dreams. Her mind flowed with visions of Ruby as a child, reading this book, maybe even curled up in her mother's lap. She didn't see the grown Ruby, with painted hands and face, but a small, innocent Ruby, who thought that dreams would come true, like in the book that she obviously loved. Alexandria's lips quivered a little as she turned to the next page. Once upon a time... she read, dwelling into the book that had given Ruby the dreams that she never had. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ A few more months passed before Alexandria finally settled in to her working schedule. Every time she went to work, she made sure that she looked ragged, putting away all her nicer clothes for torn, dirty ones, all this to ensure that she would not catch anyone's eye. Mr. Dinger observed her, and shook his head whenever he thought about the poor girl working like a slave. But, he knew that it was the only job that she would do in a place where pride meant nothing to the women who worked there. At times, when she had not much things to do, she would take one of the horses from the livery and ride into the prairie. Most of the time, she would try to look for her village, but in vain. She knew that Ten Bears had moved the tribe to someplace else, and she would ride back disheartened. At times, she would ride to the river and wash herself there. She would feel cleansed and purified of all the filth from where she stayed and worked. One such day, after riding furiously, she rode to the river, desiring its cool water against her skin. As she dismounted the mare, she heard a loud rustling. Arming herself with a dagger, she called, “Who’s there? Show yourself!” She prepared herself for an attack, but soon realized it was unnecessary. A figure crept out behind the bushes. The man walked with a grace and air of superiority, dressed in buckskin. Alexandria frowned at him. He seemed familiar to her, and yet, she couldn't recognise him, until he called her name. “White Star?” the man asked, moving closer to her. Alexandria gasped, “Eric!” She cried his name as she flung herself on him. He hugged her back, “You have grown, my White Star.” Alexandria pulled herself from him and stared at the man he had grown into. Eric Wing Foot was much taller and his muscles had developed. His face had taken on its manly features and she saw the weapons that he carried with him. He had become a Comanche warrior. “So have you, Wing Foot. Why are you here? Where is the village? Where are the others?” Eric Wing Foot gazed at her sadly, “Come sit, and I will tell you.” Alexandria sat beside him on a log, facing the river. Eric stared at the cool water. He had always loved the water, it was his friend. He and Alexandria
were both of mixed blood of the White and the Comanche, and they had grown to become each other's companion, sharing everything amongst themselves. But now, what he had to say to her was harder than he expected. “I have been looking for you ever since the day you did not return with Sharina. The warriors and I searched for you, but only found Sharina's grave, made by a White man, no doubt. We brought her back and set her soul free.” He paused, thinking that White Star wanted to say something. When she didn't, he continued, “After searching for you for many months, Ten Bears decided to move the village to the South, where many more of our cousins are. I did not follow. I told him that I will stay and look for you, and that I will bring you to the South when I find you. Ten Bears was angry, and did not give me his blessing. I left the tribe, and started searching for you.” He looked at White Star, “Now come back with me.” Alexandria shook her head. She knew the responsibility she had in her village, but she could not leave. “I know the men who drove mother to her death. I want to find them.” Eric's eyes grew wide, “They are monsters. You will die if you find them. Do not do things that are stupid, White Star.” “Is avenging the death of your mother stupid, Eric?” The warrior sighed, “Come back with me to the village. You will be safe there. Ten Bears will accept you and we will be married, as promised.” Alexandria bit her lip. She did not want to be married to Wing Foot, no matter how much she loved him as a friend. “No, I will not go back without my revenge. Say no more, Eric. I will kill the men who caused my misery, with or without your consent.” At this, Wing Foot stood up and towered over Alexandria, his face dark. “I will give you one week to have your revenge. I will not leave without you for I have my honour. I will stay here until you come to me, but I will not be in favour of your stupid acts of revenge.” He turned to walk away, but White Star stood up angrily, “Is your pride and honour more important than the life of the woman who tended to your wounds as a child? The woman who let you cry on her shoulder every time you remember your own mother? The woman who promised you her only daughter? If it is, then I wish you had never become a warrior for it has made you blind and arrogant, Eric Wing Foot!” She ran and mounted her own horse and raced away, failing to see Wing Foot turning around. Failing to hear him calling her name. Failing to see how he fell to his knees, his fists clenched as he cried out in fury and agony. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ As each grueling day passed, Alexandria began praying that she could do something to avenge her mother's death, instead of spending time in this
'hellhole', as Ruby had put it so affectionately. She knew that Eric would not help her, but when she almost gave up on the hope of ever seeing Sonny and his gang in the brothel, luck changed everything. Three days later, while cleaning up the mess a man made when he had drank too much, she looked up to see three men entering the brothel. Three men who made her heart jump and almost scream. She crawled nearer to the table that hid her from the men as they sat at the bar. Even from where she was, Alexandria could smell the liquor emitting from their bodies. Surprisingly, she could hear every word that was said between Sonny and his friends. She studied the men and knew that they were the same ones who had brought her to this fate. She shivered slightly, and prayed that they wouldn't see her. She heard Sonny grunt as Mr. Dinger himself approached them. “Sonny,” he nodded to the leader as Alexandria tried to stifle a gasp. Mr. Dinger knew who they were? Mr. Dinger refilled their empty glasses as he spoke, “Long time since you came here.” Sonny downed his drink in one gulp, “Work got in the way.” He brought the glass down to the table, asking for more. When Mr. Dinger didn't refill his glass, he snatched the bottle from the owner and drank straight from it. After swallowing, he wiped his mouth, “So, what's new here?” Mr. Dinger put on his best salesman smile and said, “Well, you'll be glad to know that we have some new girls from Texas. They're young and real purty. I'll be glad to send 'em to your room, the one that you always use.” Sonny shook his head, his lips turned down, “No, I don't want new girls. I want mine. Ruby. I want you to send Ruby to my room. Where the hell is she anyway?” Mr. Dinger looked down for a moment. He sighed, “Sorry, Sonny. But I can't do that.” Sonny gave him a glare that made the big man behind the counter cower. But, Mr. Dinger regained his composure and straightened himself. “Why?” Sonny growled, his saliva spitting onto the countertop. Mr. Dinger sighed again, "Cos she's gone, Sonny. She died more than three months ago, some kinda sickness.” Sony stared at her in disbelief. “She's dead?” He looked down, his eyes dark. His lips turned downwards, and he closed his eyes. For that moment, Alexandria saw a part of him that made him look human. He looked as though he was even mourning. So, he is human, after all, Alexandria thought, watching them intently.
“She's gone,” Sonny whispered, as if telling himself that. When he opened his eyes, the tenderness of loss was replaced by a fire that Alexandria knew too well. He got up, slid of his chair and drew the owner near. “Send someone else. Make sure she's good,” he snarled, his intoxicated breath almost overpowering Mr. Dinger as he nodded, his hand trembling. Sonny let the man go and went upstairs, singing a song at the top of his lungs, with no one daring to stop him. Alexandria watched as the two other men left the brothel and rode away. As soon as they were gone, she stood up slowly and noticed that Mr. Dinger was still standing behind the counter. He saw the sight of her and motioned for her to retire upstairs. More people were starting to come, and he knew how Alexandria didn't want to be seen by such people. The teenager made her way up quickly, shutting the door and locking it. She leaned against the closed door, her heart beating so fast that she couldn't hear herself think. Even a few deep breaths couldn't clear away all that as she clutched the white heart that was ever present underneath her blouse. Sonny's here, Sonny's here, Sonny's here was all her mind would allow her to think. The image of her mother falling, in one hand the dagger she used. Sharina crying in pain as the men took her. Sonny leering into her face, taunting her, terrorizing her. She tried to grab something as she felt her legs give way. She felt the hard floor as she fell, her hand still holding on to the white heart. Sonny's here, Sonny's here, Sonny's here. Alexandria woke up to be greeted by the sight of the footstool that had belonged to Ruby. She got up and realized that she was lying at the foot of the door. Remembering that she had fainted, she walked over to the bed and poured herself a glass of water. She sat on her bed and wondered what she should do. By the time she had finished drinking the water, she had her mind made up. It was as if her strength had been renewed. Undressing, she settled to sleep, trying to listen for the sounds that Sonny would make in the room two doors away from hers.
Chapter 18 Mr. Dinger was unrepentantly greeted by the sight of Alexandria at the counter. She was cheerful and looked happier than usual. He frowned, wondering what she was up to as she walked over to him. “Yes, Alexandria?” he drawled, his voice monotonous. “Mr. Dinger, good mornin',” she answered, a smile revealing a dimple on the side of her cheek. She glanced briefly upwards, before saying, “I was wondering, did the man who came here last night, did he have a good night?” She looked at him hopefully, knowing that he would not lie. She had heard Sonny complaining to the plump man about how 'the whore was a complete
bore, no excitement whatsoever.' Sonny was shouting at him, that it was impossible for her not to have heard the hunter's feedback. Mr. Dinger hesitated, but realized that it was useless to say something else. Sonny's complaints had been obvious to everyone. He lowered his voice, as if afraid that Sonny might come into the brothel suddenly, “He’s a hard man to please. I need some new girls to keep him busy. Ever since Ruby- sorry I have to say this- died, he's gonna want something good to keep him satisfied. Old Ruby was his favourite, y'know.” Alexandria nodded grimly. She pretended to be concerned for the man's dilemma as she looked down, nodding. Looking back up again, she stared at the man in the eye, “I can help you.” Mr. Dinger tilted his head, frowning. But Alexandria headed on, "Remember what you told me before Ruby died? Well, Mr. Dinger,” she took a deep breath, “I’m ready.” The man frowned deeper, but his eyes grew wide with surprise as she understood what it was that the girl was saying. No, not a girl, he thought, a woman. He smiled as he took in her appearance. She had grown since he first saw her. Her body had gained its curves in the right places, her face, framed by straight jet-black hair had a certain beauty to it. Her green eyes shone with life and youth, her lips a tinge of pink, her nose turned upwards, and her eyelashes would get any man after her if she so much blinked at them. He nodded, his face set. She would do. *^*^*^**^*^*^**^*^*^*^ Sonny watched the whiskey swirl in its bottle every time he shook it. He was fascinated by the way the little twister in the alcohol would be pulled down, then resume its original position until it was shook again. He was impatiently waiting for the woman Dinger had promised him. His eyes had been full of excitement as he told Sonny that Ruby's niece had gladly taken her place as Sonny's favourite. We'll see, he thought. He had always been an adventurous man, who wanted to have his adrenaline running, no matter what the situation. Ruby had given him just that, and he wondered if Ruby's talent was a family trait. He had missed the red haired woman, and wanted her body by his side. As he felt the seconds ticking by, he grew more impatient. He jumped up the moment he heard the knock on the door. He went to the door, half expecting Dinger to apologise, saying that there was a change of plans, that she could not make it. But, instead, he found a beautiful woman standing in front of him. He stared at her for a while, impressed by what he saw. Finally, Dinger did a good job, he thought as he led the woman in. Alexandria walked inside, flinching as the sharp smell of alcohol filled her nose. She turned to find Sonny staring at her with masculine interest so intense, that she had to look away.
He closed the door with his boot, “You’re wearing Ruby's dress. Hell, you look better in it than Ruby ever could.” Alexandria forced a smile as she heard him insult Ruby openly. He circled her a few times, looking her up and down with such lust in his eyes that Alexandria started to wonder if she had done the right thing. He put an arm around her waist, “You looking kinda young. How old are you?” “Eighteen,” she lied, twisting out of his grasp. He chuckled, “Are you good?” She smiled the most seductive smile at him, “Let’s just say that I know more than Ruby does.” She walked towards him, unbuttoning his top button. He smiled back, “You like to make the first move I see.” Alexandria didn't answer, instead, she pushed him gently to the bed, making sure that he was lying down. He chuckled again, growing more excited. A thousand thoughts raced through his mind as he waited for what she was going to do. What came next was unexpected as Sonny screamed, feeling his skin being pierced. He hurled Alexandria away, holding his face pain. Blood flowed from the gash on his face as he stared at Alexandria. She was watching him, dagger in hand, unsure whether she should strike again. But, her moves were disrupted as Sonny jumped on her, hitting her face. She bit his arm until she could taste the blood. Kicking his shin, she dashed for the door as he howled in pain. She flew down the stairs, as everyone turned their heads towards her, including Mr. Dinger who was too bewildered to do anything. She ran towards the livery, not knowing that before she left the brothel, Sonny had gone to the window and shouted, “Joe! Get the whore! Don't let her get away!” Joe ran to the livery, expecting Alexandria to be there, and she was. They found her untying one of the horses, still dressed in her fineries. “Well, lookie what we have here,” Joe said, blocking the only exit. Alexandria stared at him, recognizing the man as one of Sonny's men. The men who had raped her mother. As Joe drew his pistol and aimed it at her, Alexandria felt a sudden rush of hatred running through her. With each step he took closer to her, she felt the hatred growing. Suddenly, without thinking, she attacked the man, using her bare hands. She struggled with him, punching his face, but the man was bigger and stronger. She saw as he got up and made his way to her, a dangerous look in his eyes. She moved away from him, backing against the wall. As he got nearer, she thrust her foot out, kicking his face. He backed off, but moved towards her again. Alex got to her feet and laid her hands on the nearest thing she could find, a shovel. Grabbing the handle, she hit Joe with it as he advanced, sending him to the ground, unconscious. She made her way to the stall again, when another of Sonny's men came in. He took her by surprise, and Alex tried to bite into his hand, tasting the blood. Crying out in pain, the man released her, and was about to launch himself on her, when another figure jumped on him. Alex gasped as she stared at the struggle between the two men. She knew immediately who the other man was. Eric was hitting the man's face,
struggling to get a hold of the gun, but the other man had a strong grip. He wrenched the gun out of Eric's hand and fired. “Eric!” Alex cried as he fell to the ground. Eric wringed in pain as he tried to get up to block the man from attacking Alex. Alex ran to him, holding his side, but realized that the man was aiming the gun at her. Taking Eric's knife from his belt, she aimed and threw it at the man. She saw as he too fell to the ground like his friend, his silent heart stabbed with a knife. Alex helped Eric to his feet and mounted him on a horse, silencing any protests that he raised. She was shock at what she had done, but knew there was no time to think about it. Mounting the horse, she rode away, speeding into the night. Alex tried to make him as comfortable as possible, but it was no use. He had lost too much blood to make it. Eric lay there, pale and weak. “You thought I would not come. But I did.” Alex smiled, “Yes you did. I'm sorry I doubted you.” Her lips quivered and her voice broke, “Please don't leave me.” She stroked his hair. “I can never leave you. My love for you will always keep me alive. I know you can never love me the way I want, but I will never forget what we had.” He coughed, feeling his spirit leaving his body. Alex kissed his forehead, her tears falling steadily, “Please don't die. I need you by my side.” He smiled, “I am proud to die, by your side always.” He closed his eyes and Eric Wing Foot never opened them again. Alex cried at her third loss. She had become White Star, Alexandria, and Alex the Huntress at a heavy price. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ Alex looked down, swallowing her tears as she told them of how someone had died for her love that she refused to give. Rachel was now standing beside her, one hand on her shoulder. Everyone now ran Alex's words through their heads. For Buck, he was shocked to hear what Alex had done, but he still had his hand on hers. Teaspoon watched Alex's face, never knowing that she had gone through such pain and suffering. All because I wasn't there for them, he thought sadly. Alex cleared her throat, “After that, I went to other towns, doing odd jobs. I dressed myself up as a boy so people would hire me. I moved from town to town, hunting down Sonny and his gang, but I knew that I would have to stay low, after what I did.” She paused, thinking of how she should continue. Her voice became softer, “When I was in town, I heard Sonny talking to Thompkins. He was talking
about me and what I did to him. He said he knew where I was, and would make me pay. He also said that he was gonna hurt anyone I knew. That's why I ran away. I couldn't risk all of you gettin' hurt,” she glanced at Jimmy who nodded. “And I didn't want to tell what you what I did, cos I killed someone. I knew I was doing the wrong thing, though.” She sniffed slightly, then looking at Teaspoon, she sat straighter, hands raised in front of him, “Arrest me.” Teaspoon shook his head, “There ain't no crime to what you did.” He put her hands down, and clasped them in his, “You’re gonna stay here like one of us, and I'll make sure Sonny and his friends pay for what they did.” He leaned forward and hugged Alex. For that moment, Alex felt as if she was a small girl again, hugging the man who was her father. Teaspoon felt her sigh, and closed his eyes. This was her daughter. The door burst open, and Cody entered, looking breathless. “I...Got...The...Doc,” he panted, as Doc Barnes came in. Doc Barnes looked around the room. Teaspoon was in mid hug with a girl dressed in man's clothes. Buck had one hand on the girl's fingers. Rachel was standing behind her like a statue with her mouth open, and the other riders were all standing around awkwardly, their faces pale. Cody was the one who broke his thoughts as he said, “What happened? Did I miss somethin'?” Jimmy gave him a small smile, “You betcha.”
Chapter 19 Rachel tucked a strand of her behind Alex's ears. She stood there for a while, looking at the green eyed rider. “Rachel?” Alex asked as she lay in bed, watching the older woman. Teaspoon had put her in the room in Rachel's cabin. He wanted to give Alex some more space, and the spare room was larger than Ruby's old room. Alex had protested, not wanting to be favoured just because she was the boss' daughter, but Teaspoon had given her the room not because of that, but because she had been through hell and back just to get where she was. Rachel was now tucking her into bed like a mother, and she felt safe inside. Wing Foot was somewhere outside. While Doc Barnes was tending to her bruises, the black horse was smart enough to find its way back to the Express. It's knee was grazed from the fall, and, luckily, Teaspoon didn't find any gunshots on it. Teaspoon had then went to town with Jimmy to check on Barnett. Alex had wanted to follow, knowing that she could then go after Sonny, but Teaspoon ordered her to stay and rest. She had too much excitement for one night.
Rachel gave her hand a squeeze that made Alex feel warmer. So far, everything had turned out alright. Teaspoon had accepted her stay at the Express, she had found her father, she was where she wanted to be, and Sonny and his gang was going to pay for their crimes. Only one thing left, she thought. As though her wish was granted, she saw Buck standing in the doorway, his figure silhouetted by the light. Rachel turned to see who Alex was looking at, and she smiled. Alex felt her heart skip at the sight of him. He always had a way of making her emotions run high, a feeling that she loved. Rachel turned back to Alex, “Good night.” Then she walked towards Buck and nodded at him. Buck entered the room and closed the door softly. His very presence brought a sense of peace to Alex. He sat at her bedside. One finger stroking her hand, he whispered, “I wanted to know if you were alright.” “I'm fine, Buck,” she whispered, sitting up. Buck scowled, “Should you be getting up?” Alex gave him a look, “Buck,” she said, “I’m not seriously injured.” “I'm just worried,” he whispered back. An awkward silence followed, and Alex knew why. She bit her lip, “I know I was wrong to run away. I just didn't want you to get hurt.” “I know,” Buck said, his finger now on her cheek. He began caressing it, “I died when you left me. Promise you won't leave me again.” When Alex had left, only then did he knew what she truly meant to him. “I swear I will never leave you, Buck Cross,” Alex whispered, her body loving the touch of his skin, “I love you, Buck Cross.” Buck watched as Alex whispered those words to him, as his finger traveled to her lips. “And I love you, more than my own soul.” Alex looked up into his eyes, and saw the love that she had been wanting for all her life. She saw her future and life with Buck, the only man she could ever love. “Stay with me tonight, I need you with me,” she whispered, kissing his finger. Buck nodded and kissed her with the fire he knew would never be put out. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ The room was dark, and Keith could smell alcohol in the air. He moved around cautiously, “Sonny?” Sonny grunted, “Did you get her?” Keith looked down, unable to answer. Sonny acknowledged his silence, and, in his fury, hurled a bottle across the room. Keith put on the lights, and saw
Sonny kneeling down, fists clenched. “Why didn't you get her?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous, his anger on the brink of explosion. Keith hesitated, “I, well, there was another rider with her, and her horse sorta knew I was there, and I missed. She heard the gunshot though, and fell off her horse. I was gonna get her, but the other rider, the one they call Wild Bill Hickok, he got to her and took her with him. I dunno why she was riding around in the dark, though.” Sonny laughed in a low voice, “She’s an Express rider, o'course she rides around in the dark. You spent half your life hunting Injuns, and you can't get a female half breed?” He shook his head, "Damn.” Keith just nodded. He hated it when he failed to do what Sonny wanted him to. “So, what're we gonna do now?” Sonny looked at him, "Hickok took her back to the station? The Marshal's in town in is office with Hickok, so I wager the whore is at the station with the rest o' the riders. Keith, do you remember when we used to raid them Injun villages?” Keith nodded, unsure of what his boss was driving at. He watched as Sonny's smile grew bigger,” Round up the others, we gonna pay a 'lil visit to the way station.” *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Alex gave a small sigh as she stirred in Buck's arms. It had been over an hour and Buck had been laying in bed with her. Although they did not make love, Alex could feel the desire burning in both their bodies. She knew that she was dangerously close to him but she was tired and her mind was filled with other thoughts. Buck could sense her mind elsewhere and whispered softly, “Penny for your thoughts. I'll even make it a quarter.” Alex smiled, “Do I hear an echo?” Buck chuckled, running his fingers through her hair. He loved the way they slipped through his fingers as he pulled them. Alex snuggled closer to him and sighed, “I was thinking about how my life would change once Sonny and the others are dead. I'll have a different life, a chance for a future.” Buck stared into her eyes, “Do I see myself in that future?” Alex looked at him, kissing his lips gently, drawing herself even closer to him, “You’ll always be a part of me.” Buck held her tighter, his hands stroking her back gently. “I love you,” he whispered softly in her ear. He felt Alex's lips widen into a smile and her hot breaths on his neck. She felt him kissing it, pecking at it. He kissed her ear, his lips trailing down her cheekbone, down to her lips. He felt that this was the moment when they would succumb to each other as he kissed her harder.
Just as he was about to deepen the kiss even more, they heard knocking on the door. He felt her pull herself away from him as he gave a small groan of disappointment. Alex sat up, Buck's arm still around her waist, “Who’s there?” A voice answered urgently, “It’s Rachel, Kid spotted some riders coming here. It don't look good.” Alex looked back at Buck and got out of bed. After checking that they didn't look too suspicious, she opened the door. Rachel's surprise was clearly shown on her face, “Buck? I thought you were back at the bunkhouse already.” Buck looked at her sheepishly, as Rachel raised her eyebrows as she realized what they had been up to. Alex noticed the awkwardness and, as a resort to hide her humiliation, asked, “Is Kid sure about the riders?” Rachel looked back at her and nodded, “The boys and Lou haven't been sleeping. They've been playing cards and going outside as if it were still daytime.” “Come on,” Buck said as he led them outside. The riders were all there, except for Jimmy and Teaspoon. They were all holding their pistols, unsure of what to do. Alex peered at the fast approaching shadows. “Oh my god,” she gasped. Everyone turned to look at her. Buck held her hand as Alex said, “It’s Sonny. It's an Indian raid.” She could recognise it from experience. “Indian raid?” Cody echoed, “On us?” Alex nodded and cried, “Come on, we gotta get ready before they get here.” Kid assigned them their positions. Rachel, Lou and Cody were stationed at the bunkhouse while Alex, Jesse and Noah were to be at Rachel's cabin. Kid and Buck stationed themselves in the barn. Alex felt her heart beating as she loaded her rifle. From what she saw, they were around ten riders coming towards them. Much lesser than the last time, she thought, remembering the times when her village was raided. Noah placed one hand on her shoulder lightly, “You ready?” Alex gave him a nod. Looking at Jesse, she winked at him before positioning herself under the window facing the direction they were coming from. It wasn't long before she saw the first rider approaching. One gunshot was heard as the rider fell to the ground. Alex knew that either Kid or Buck had given the shot since it was too far from the bunkhouse. Soon, the other riders began approaching fast, and Alex found herself shooting furiously. All that could be heard were gunshots and the neighing of horses as each one fell. As Alex was reloading, she didn't hear the back door being opened. Without warning, she felt herself being grabbed from behind by two strong arms.
Noah turned around and saw Alex struggling with a man. As he was about to help her, another man entered the room, jumping on the black man. Jesse looked at them confused as to what to do. He picked up Noah's pistol and held it in his hands, not knowing whether his shot would hit Noah. Reluctantly, he raised the gun and closed his eyes. Noah saw what Jesse was doing as he tried to prevent the man from strangling him. His eyes widened with terror as he realized that Jesse was going to shoot with his eyes closed. “No, Jesse!” he cried as the boy pulled the trigger. Jesse opened his eyes to see Noah standing by the wall and the man wringing in pain on the floor. Noah smiled weakly at him. Alex was furiously engaged in a struggle with the masked man as they moved to the kitchen. Using her nail to scratch his face, Alex pulled away the cloth around his face and gave a cry. Sonny! She felt her legs start to wobble as the memory of his terror reigned her mind. Sonny gave a low chuckle, “I’m gonna have fun with you.” He jumped on Alex as she tried to push him. He hit her face, slapping her as she clawed at his scar, trying to gorge out his eyes. He pushed her to the wall, cornering her. He pinned her arms as he drew his face near to her, “First it was your mother, then you let Ruby die, then that damn Comanche half breed. Now, it's your turn. I'm really gonna have fun with you.” He tightened his grip on her hands, “This time, Bob won't be here to save you.” Alex didn't know what he meant by that, but she didn't wait to find out. Alex spit into his face. “Go to hell,” she snarled with the same hatred that overcame her mother. With all the strength she could muster, Alex kicked his groin, making Sonny double over in pain. Realizing that she had the upper hand, she brought Sonny's head down to her knee, and then kicked him away from her. Jumping on him, both of them struggled on the floor. Alex tried to reach for the dagger on her belt, and held it tight in her hand. The struggle was long and furious, but finally, it ended. Sonny lay on top of Alex, the blade of the blue stone dagger pierced in his abdomen. Alex pushed him off her and realized that they were not alone. Teaspoon, Jimmy and Buck stood in the doorway, mouth opened in shock. Teaspoon and Jimmy had returned to the station right after the riders had shot down all of Sonny's gang. Together with Buck, they went to the cabin when they realized that Alex was not around. Fearing the worst, they were shocked to find Alex attacking Sonny, instead. Jimmy rushed to apprehend Sonny as he laid there. Buck went to Alex, making sure that she was alright. Teaspoon stared at her, his eyes wide open. He was shocked by the way she had fought Sonny.
Alex gave him a tired smile, “My mother taught me.” Teaspoon went to her and laughed wearily, “That I taught your mother.” Alex raised an eyebrow at him and laughed back. It's alright now, it's gonna be alright now.
Chapter 20 Teaspoon sat excitedly at the table. For a grown old man, he looked like a small boy as he sat in his seat, his napkin around his neck, his grin from one ear to another. “Teaspoon,” Jimmy chided, “If you ain't gonna behave, there'll be no cake for you.” “Hey,” Teaspoon retorted, “Who’s the birthday boy, huh? Me or you?” Jimmy chuckled, “I’ll get fired if I don't say it's you, Teaspoon.” The riders laughed good naturedly as they felt the excitement and the celebrative spirit of the day. It had been a whole week since the station was attacked by Sonny's gang. Alex had finally settled in with her family at the station. The riders had renewed their respect for her, not because she was Teaspoon's daughter, but because she had gained it. Noah tried not to laugh a he said, “Well, gettin fired is better than almost being shot by your own friend.” He looked at the flushed Jesse. Everyone laughed as they recalled how Jesse had saved Noah's life by shooting with his eyes closed. Buck nudged Jesse, “Shows that you have a real talent there.” The riders laughed harder. “Boys,” a stern voice called them from the kitchen. Rachel stood there looking as though she disapproved, but she broke into a smile. “Happy birthday, Teaspoon,” she said, giving him a kiss on the forehead as the man blushed. Louise appeared behind her carrying the presents as she placed them down. Kid raised his eyebrows as he looked at Louise who was in the light blue dress Kid had bought her. Louise smiled shyly as she said, “And now, presenting Ms Alexandria Hunter with the cake. She turned towards the kitchen as Alex walked out. Everyone could hear Buck's gasp as he saw Alex in the dress that he had bought for her. Alex looked radiant and simply gorgeous in the dress. Her black hair fell in curls behind her back, cascading her shoulders. The purple dress fit her body snugly and everyone couldn't believe how different she looked.
Putting the cake on the table, Alex blushed as she realized that everyone was staring at her. Rachel and Louise stood beside her. Lou beamed as she asked, “So, whaddya think?” Cody sighed, “I think I'm in love.” Alex laughed, sending goose bumps through Buck's body. His eyes met hers, and he saw the twinkle in her eyes as she smiled at him. Noah nudged Cody. “Remember, she's already taken,” he whispered loud enough for everyone to hear. Buck blushed as he saw how everyone was looking at him. Alex broke the silence as she leaned to Teaspoon and said, “Happy Birthday, Dad.” She kissed him on the cheek and gave him a tight hug. Teaspoon said, “You look beautiful, sweetheart.” Alex smiled at him again as the riders all started to sing Happy Birthday to Teaspoon. Her smile grew wider as she realized that she was a part of them, the family. Buck's words echoed in her mind. This is your home, no matter what anyone says. This is where you belong, White Star. Yes, she thought, where my father is, where the man I love is, where the rest of my life will be. The End... Note: I wish to apologise if any of the facts in the story is incorrect. I was unable to do my research in depth due to time constraint, and if anyone out there feels that they've heard some of the lines somewhere before, they probably came from movies that you've watched. Thanks for reading :) Click here to send Dian feedback
