Will Words Ever Harm Me? - SAGE Journals - Sage Publications

0 downloads 0 Views 99KB Size Report
Norfolk State University. Based on in-depth qualitative interviews, this article gives the opportunity to. 145 sixth graders to tell, in their own words, how they felt ...
Journal of 10.1177/0886260505282886 Geiger, Fischer Interpersonal / Verbal V andiolence Emotional Abuse

Will Words Ever Harm Me?

Journal of Interpersonal Violence Volume 21 Number 3 March 2006 337-357 © 2006 Sage Publications 10.1177/0886260505282886 http://jiv.sagepub.com hosted at http://online.sagepub.com

Escalation From Verbal to Physical Abuse in Sixth-Grade Classrooms Brenda Geiger Bar-Ilan University, Western Galilee and Safed Campuses, Israel

Michael Fischer Norfolk State University

Based on in-depth qualitative interviews, this article gives the opportunity to 145 sixth graders to tell, in their own words, how they felt and reacted when verbally and emotionally abused by their classmates. Content analysis of interviews revealed gender differences in students’ reactions to verbal aggression. Another interesting finding was the differentiation between verbally aggressive messages meant to be for fun from those that were not so meant based on (1) contextual cues, (2) other peers’ reaction, and (3) the malleability of the personal features that were the topic of the attack. Observing friendly peers were found to play an important role in reducing tension and preventing the escalation of violence. However, when the verbally aggressive message targeted a permanent physical characteristic or the student’s social or ethnic identity, then suffering, anger and humiliation legitimized the escalation from verbal to physical aggression for students of both genders. Keywords: verbal abuse; aggression; interpersonal interaction; youth development

T

he establishment of a positive sense of identity is one of the main developmental outcomes of adolescence (Erikson, 1963; Klein, 1995). By playing the role of a mirror, peers provide a major source of self-esteem, regulation, and identity formation for young adolescents age 12 to 14 years, who lack stable internal standards of self-evaluation (Bernzweig, Eisenberg, & Fabes, 1993; Cooley, 1902; Eisenberg & Fabes, 1992; Erikson, 1963; Authors’ Note: Our appreciation to the Israeli Criminal Justice association, the Canadian Jewish Federation, and Maalot Tarshiha Research Center for funding this research.

337

338 Journal of Interpersonal Violence

Rosenthal & Simeonsson, 1989). Young adolescents will seek peer approval and feedback as they experiment with various roles and behaviors and test their competence and ability to succeed (Berndt & Keefe, 1996; Newman, 2003). Similarly, with the renewed preoccupation with their body at puberty and the onset of the exploration of their ethnicity, youths will look for their peers’ confirmation concerning their body image, physical appearance (Coopersmith, 1967; Newman, 2003; Sommer, 1978), and ethnic identity (Smith, 1991; Yeh & Huang, 1996). Successful interaction with their peers, therefore, assists young adolescents in establishing a sense of who they are as they go through the developmental stage of identity versus role diffusion (Erikson, 1963). By contrast, criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, and other forms of verbally abusive interaction with peers and classmates may testify to the youth’s inadequacy and worthlessness and, thereby, reduce his or her sense of competence and selfevaluation (Bernzweig et al., 1993; Berryman & Breighner, 1994; Boulton & Smith, 1994; Coopersmith, 1967; Rosenthal & Simeonsson, 1989; Tse, 1999). By giving the opportunity to sixth graders to tell about their experience, some for the first time, this qualitative research allows us to more closely examine verbally abusive interaction among peers within the confines of the classroom. The negative reciprocity model (Infante & Rancer, 1996) and general aggressive model (Anderson & Bushman, 2002) provide the theoretical framework of the current study. Within the communication model, messages are verbally aggressive and abusive when they attack a person’s self-concept and social identity with the intention to hurt, degrade, and inflict psychological pain (Infante & Rancer, 1996; Infante & Wigley, 1986). These messages may include character attacks, competence attacks, ethnic or racial background attacks, physical appearance attacks, ridiculing, teasing, and swearing. It must be stressed that the extent to which a message is perceived to be offensive, threatening, or provocative is related to the interpretation of the receiver of the message, regardless of the intention of the person transmitting it (Infante, 1987; Infante, Riddle, Horvath, & Tumlin, 1992). By increasing negative emotions and cognitions, verbally aggressive messages may escalate into negative reciprocity that will act as a catalyst for physical aggression (Martin & Anderson, 1995; Sabourin, 1995). Anderson and Bushman’s (2002) general aggressive model explains such escalation from verbal to physical aggression through a multistage process. Personal and situational variables may trigger aggression by affecting cognitive and emotional processes and the level of physiological arousal. Whenever a situation is interpreted as a provocation, it will prime aggressive

Geiger, Fischer / Verbal and Emotional Abuse 339

thoughts, hostile affective states, and a negative state of arousal. In the absence of restraining factors, these processes act on each other and result in aggressive behavior. Verbal abuse and aggression must also be situated within their broader ecological context in which they occur. In a culture that sanctions violence and defines masculinity in terms of power, control, and dominance, aggression may be adaptive (Beatty, Zelley, Dobos, & Rudd, 1994; Rancer, Avtgis, Kosberg, & Whitecap, 2000). Therefore, it is no surprise to find male students adopting hostile and vengeful strategies to solve classroom conflicts (Richard, 2001). Furthermore, problem solving and conflict resolution among peers has been found to be gender related (Crick & Grotpeter, 1995; Eccles & Blumenfeld, 1985; Hopmeyer & Asher, 1997; Miller, Danaher, & Forbes, 1986). Already by fourth grade, male students perceived direct confrontation as the only acceptable strategy to resolve conflicts. Asking for the teacher’s help, which was an acceptable solution for female students, was perceived by male students as avoiding rather than solving the problem (Hopmeyer & Asher, 1997). Research also indicates that programs that have been successful in improving students’ communication skills were not successful in lowering students’ level of verbal aggression. The explanation of these findings may be based on Bandura’s (1973) social learning theory. This theory holds that vicarious learning is enhanced when the model is similar to the observer and the behavior is rewarded. Thus, students will model the verbal aggression and abuse that is present in their classroom if it was observed to be rewarding to the peers initiating it (Infante, 1988, 1995; Rancer et al., 2000; Rancer, Whitecap, Kosberg, & Avtgis, 1997). Statistics show that verbal abuse in the classroom has become epidemic across cultures (APA Help Center, 2002; Hoover, Oliver, & Hauler, 1992). In a survey they conducted in the United States, Juvonen and Graham (2001) found that between 40% to 80% of the students had experienced peer hostilities such as taunting, threats, social ostracism, and humiliation. Similarly, a study conducted in Israel (Benbenishty, Astor, & Zeira, 1998) with a national sample of 15,916 students showed that students in the lower grades were more often verbally and physically attacked by their peers than those who were in upper grades. Up to 50% of the students in first through sixth grades as compared to 42% of the students in higher grades reported having been the target of humiliation, cursing, and harassment during the current year (Benbenishty et al., 1998). Although informative, these statistics neither reveal students’ feelings and attitudes nor the process through which verbal abuse may escalate into

340 Journal of Interpersonal Violence

physical aggression. Asking students to check next to the response that reflects their opinion obviously constrains students’ feelings and thoughts within predetermined response categories. Therefore, research findings concerning verbally abusive interaction among classmates will remain incomplete as long as a phenomenological examination of the topic has not been undertaken. The current qualitative research complements past studies by capturing sixth graders’detailed and explicit communications regarding how they feel and react when subjected to verbal and emotional abuse from classmates. The research questions this research purports to answer are the following: Research Question 1: What are students’ reactions to verbally abusive interaction with peers? Are such reactions related to gender? Research Question 2: Is taunting, tormenting, or belittling a substitute, or a catalyst, for physical aggression? Research Question 3: Is there a critical stage in the interaction process in which the manifestation of aggression transforms from verbal to physical? Research Question 4: How do teachers manage verbally abusive behavior in their classrooms?

Method Sample The participants in this qualitative research were 145 sixth graders recruited from 13 neighborhood community centers located in several towns in the north of Israel. Of the 145 students, 54 were females. This age group has been chosen for several reasons. First, based on previous research findings, sixth graders are one of the highest risk groups experiencing verbal and physical aggression. Furthermore, contrary to the United States, sixth graders in Israel are still in primary school and transfer to middle school only in seventh grade. They continue to study in a main homeroom with the same teacher and students for most of the day, without being tracked into various levels based on their achievements in English, math, biology, and physics classes. Consequently, they have less opportunity to mingle with other students who could have diluted the negative effect of verbal abuse in their homeroom. Finally, being the oldest and about to leave primary school, sixth graders in Israel were expected to be more confident and less fearful of speaking up and reporting the verbal abuse and aggression they had witnessed or experienced in the classroom.

Geiger, Fischer / Verbal and Emotional Abuse 341

Instrument The primary instrument of this qualitative research is the in-depth semistructured interview. Viewed as “a directional conversation that elicits inner views of respondents” (Charmaz, 1991, p. 385), this type of interview is most appropriate with young adolescents who usually do not volunteer information without being questioned. The interview followed an interview guide that included some questions inquiring about what happened in the classroom when students acted out and verbally attacked each other. Other questions inquired about whether some students more than others were targeted for abuse and what were the reactions of the provoked students. Still other questions inquired about the process of escalation from verbal to physical aggression, and the conditions under which such escalation occurred. Students were also asked to envision alternatives to verbally and physically abusive retaliation and to explain the role teachers played in conflict resolution. The purpose of the current research was explained to the recruited students, and their consent to be interviewed was secured. Permission to audiotape the interview was obtained. Confidentiality and anonymity were guaranteed. Therefore, all names and identifying information in the current study were replaced by pseudonyms. On the day of the interview, students were given the choice of being interviewed either in one of the rooms of the community centers from which they had been recruited or in the interviewer’s car. They usually preferred the relaxed and total privacy of the car. This setting increased rapport and eased the interaction. The interviews were conducted in Hebrew and lasted 1 to 2 hours. To allow for the students’ answers to flow naturally and keep interference to a minimum, the order of the questions appearing in the interview guide was not always followed.

Analysis The analysis of the interviews was based solely on the subjective meaning and interpretation of students’ experience (Denzin, 1989; Holsti, 1969). Content analysis followed the constant comparative method (Patton, 2002; Strauss, 1987). When translated and transcribed, each of the interviews was repeatedly listened to while reading the transcript. Core themes drawn from each participant’s narrative were compared to each other for similarities and differences. Comparisons and contrasts allowed the researcher to inductively draw composite themes that reflect shared experiences, reactions, feelings, and common meanings (Lincoln & Guba, 1985). Inferences were supported by direct quotes from the narrative and interviews.

342 Journal of Interpersonal Violence

Results Students reported that teasing, cursing, taunting, and tormenting were daily occurrences in sixth-grade classrooms. “Kids curse each other every opportunity they get. They pinch and curse and say maniac, son-of-a-bitch. They throw things at each other. They choke each other and kick each other” (Mary, 112)1; “Going wild often becomes contagious. It ‘pulls you in.’ When they go wild, I also go wild. It pulls you in” (Dany, 136). Going wild, at times, degenerates into fights during which all kinds of objects such as paper, erasers, and chairs are thrown and fly around. Ofer explained, “They take someone’s hat and run away, and he runs after them, or they take his pen or they throw food on his head” (Boy, 113). The repertoire of curse words most often used by sixth graders to belittle and insult other students were retard, idiot, stupid, dog face, bitch, son-of-a-bitch, homo, your mother’s cunt, go fuck yourself, asshole, cholera, nudnik, rat, ugly, brainless, stinky, garbage, piece of shit, maniac, go clean you mother’s ass. In the words of Nathan, the classroom script for cursing runs as follows: “One kid calls the other ‘Come here Itzick! Come here son-of a-bitch!’The other curses back at him, and there is a series of cursing back and forth, like son-of-a-bitch, your mother’s cunt, and worse cursing” (Nathan, 26).

Target of Abuse Although unpopular students are often targeted for abuse and described as ugly, failures, and unable to get along, they are not the only ones. In fact, any student may become the target of ridicule whenever his or her physical appearance, weight, size, hairstyle, color, ethnicity, or way of dressing does not fit the mold of the ideal sixth grader. Students who are considered too fat, skinny, tall, or short are insulted, as exemplified in the following quotes: “There is this fat kid who eats all the time. Everyone gets on his case. They call him barrel, food grinder, and all kinds of other names” (Dan, 1). Students with a big nose, big ears, or pimples are not spared either: “They make fun of my pimples and thousands of other things. They say things like ‘Pimpled face! You have a big forehead. Your face is like a pizza.’They made fun of my nose. I have a big hill on my nose” (Natti, 130). Students with crooked teeth and/or braces are called rat face or iron teeth. A female student remarked that “They call me iron teeth because of my braces, but there are other girls like me. They tell me ‘You have disgusting teeth. Disgusting! You are disgusting,’ and all kinds of things like that” (Rachel, 112). Students who are not of the “right color”—too white or too dark—are humiliated and ridiculed. In the words of Moshe, a student who is albino:

Geiger, Fischer / Verbal and Emotional Abuse 343

“They make fun of me because of my skin. It’s too white” (Moshe, 57). Nava, a female student, reported, “There is also an Ethiopian kid who is very dark, they dump on him because he is very dark. They tell him that he is an Arab” (Nava, 112). The student’s manner of dressing is carefully examined and vehemently criticized when it does not fit the group’s norms. Students will be teased and taunted for not wearing the “right clothes,” and in the case of girls, for wearing a bra, as exemplified in the following quotes: “If I do not dress nicely they tell me ‘Son-of-a-bitch, ugly! Look at yourself, how you look’” (Ben, 129). The boys make fun of the girls, usually because they wear a bra. Two boys made fun of my bra. They pulled on the strap and said all kinds of words like cow. The teacher tries to tell the boys not to make fun of my breasts, but in the end it will happen to all of us. (Batsheva, 57)

Physical impairments such as visual handicaps, lazy eye, prescription glasses, or a speech impediment will be noticed and attacked. “They made fun of my eye. I have a lazy eye, so they make fun of me. They tell me crosseyed. They also make fun of my crooked teeth and of the way I look” (Yidan, 128); “They make fun of the way I talk [this student stutters]. They make fun of my big ears. If I do not dress nicely they tell me: ‘Son-of-a-bitch, ugly. Look at yourself, how you look!’” (Itzhak, 129). Students’ethnic identity and country of origin also becomes the subject of ridicule. This is especially the case of students originating from Russia or Ethiopia (the two most recent immigrant groups in Israel). They will be tormented for not being Sabras, that is, Israeli born, and criticized for their accent and way of dressing: “There is a lot of racism in our school. They often dump on Russian kids, and tell them ‘Stinky Russians, go back to Russia!’ They make fun of the way Russian kids look” (Boris, 43); “They are Ethiopians. They are not accepted. I would have kicked them out of school. One of them is totally messed up” (Israel, 66).

Reaction to Verbal Abuse: For Fun or Not for Fun The fundamental criteria for determining a student’s reaction to a verbally abusive message is whether such a message is interpreted to be for fun or not. In the former case, it will perceived as nonmalevolent, not meant to harm, and resulting from boredom. By contrast, whenever a message is interpreted as “not being for fun,” it causes pain, arouses anger, and provokes the need to retaliate.

344 Journal of Interpersonal Violence

Several contextual cues help the student who is abused determine the meaning of the message. Among such cues are the relationship between the aggressor and the student who is aggressed, the aggressor’s facial expression and tone of voice, and the reaction of other classmates present during the confrontation. When it is a friend who transmits such a message while smiling or laughing or when other students are also smiling, then the verbal attack will be interpreted as simple teasing. The tension is diffused when the provocateur or other peer who is present adds the phrase “just for fun!!” Trying to clarify the difference between being attacked for fun as opposed to not for fun, Tami explained, In an attack for fun, no one takes it seriously. We know it is for fun, and we do not mean what we say. They are often the same words, but the kids say, “It is for fun” afterwards. And the way the kid looks at you when he says it; you know if it is for fun or serious. (Tami, 115)

At times, however, the content of the message becomes of utmost importance. This is especially the case when the verbally abusive message targets personal characteristics or impairments that are permanent, people who are dear to the student attacked, and/or the student’s ethnic identity. Hurt and angered by such attacks, the student who is abused will no longer be able to interpret the verbally abusive message as being for fun, even if it was so intended by the aggressor. In the students’ own words, Friends curse and tease each other; it’s for fun. Friends are friends, they can do that. They tell you “You do not know how to play soccer.” But when a kid says, “You stinky Russian or fatso,” it is no longer for fun. (Vadim, 79)

“When the things they say are not true, when you succeed to ignore the attack, when it is your friends, then it is for fun. When they curse my parents, it is not for fun” (Miri, 88).

Getting Even When a verbal attack is taken seriously, as a provocation, the student who is aggressed will feel the need to retaliate. The form of retaliation is often related to the aggressive script evoked. In the words of Danny, “When they curse me, I curse back. When they hit me, I hit back” (Danny, 117). The need to avenge any insult or attack was, especially in the cases of male students, related to normative expectations. The masculine thing to do was for the student who was attacked to show that he was neither scared nor a sucker in front of his peers. In the words of some students, “Of course, I always get back! I

Geiger, Fischer / Verbal and Emotional Abuse 345

have to show them that I am not scared” (Itamar, 114); “When there are other kids around and they start to laugh, then you do not want to feel like a sucker, you want to get even” (Roy, 42). The state of emotional arousal pushes students to seek revenge. Students recall losing their cool and feeling infuriated: “I do not always get even, sometimes I do, and sometimes I don’t. I get even when they drive me mad. I get mad, very mad, when they heat me up—my nerves go overboard” (Arie, 79). When they make me mad with curse words I always get back. It is not hard to make me mad. I do not let them bother me twice. I act straight. I do not keep things silent. It is easy to drive me crazy, but I do not hit so fast. (Dganit, 112)

Another reason for retaliating was to calm down. In the words of Moti, “It helps me get over it” (Moti, 132). Tal expressed the same feeling: “The minute I get back at the kid, I no longer feel mad. It goes away” (Tal, 134). Verbal retaliation was at times perceived to be the only solution to prevent further provocation and abuse and stop the confrontation from degenerating into physical aggression. In the words of Yosi, I get even because I have to show them that I am not scared of them. Once I did not react, so the kid kept on bothering me. At the end, I almost had to beat the kid up. (Yosi, 73)

Similarly, two female students explained, We tried to ignore the curse words and attacks and stay in control, but the attacks did not stop. We attacked and embarrassed the kids. It is when the pain and hurt goes two ways that both sides stop attacking each other. (Adina, 83, and Avital, 84)

Not Getting Even Gender differences were most pronounced in students’ accounts of why they did not retaliate, and the consequent feelings related to such a decision. Male students explained that under certain circumstances, they did not have the opportunity to retaliate. This was the case when teachers were present, or stronger students had initiated the attack. A cost-benefit rational calculus showed that the price of retaliation was too high a price to pay. They would be punished by the teacher or assaulted by the stronger student. In the words of some male students, “Once I said something wrong, so one kid made fun of me, and all the other kids joined him and laughed. The teacher was in the room, so I could not do anything” (Miki, 43).

346 Journal of Interpersonal Violence

There is a kid who always starts to mess with me. I do not get back at him because he is big and scary. If I did try to get even, I would get into trouble. Also, you cannot always curse back because when the kids are stronger than you are, they will hit you. (Tomer, 110)

Driven mad and unable to get back, the only thing left to do for some of the male students who were tormented was to cry. Crying helped them relieve the pain and anger and usually made the harassers realize that they had gone too far: Getting back does not help when someone is stronger. The only thing to do is to cry. So I cry, and then he stops. When the kid is not stronger than me, then I hit. If he is stronger and I cry it also makes my anger go away. (Nir, 104)

“Sometimes I cry because I am so mad” (Uri, 79). In contrast, female sixth graders often did not get even because they were able to ignore the curse words, or ask for their teacher’s help. In the words of Fanny, “I wanted to curse back, but didn’t. I ignored them and continued on my way” (Fanny, 105). Female students provided a variety of justifications to legitimize their decision not to aggress. First, they were wiser and more mature than the male students verbally attacking them. One girl described how silly and immature boys were for making fun of girls wearing bras: “I do not relate to them or to the fact that they make fun of my bra because they are silly. They are like little boys. It hurts, but I try to avoid getting into a fight” (Tami, 57). Getting even was, for girls, tantamount to lowering themselves to the level of the males who were aggressive with them. In the words of some of the girls: “I feel older than they are” (Ya-el, 61); “When they attack me, I get very hurt, but I do not show it. I do not want to lower myself to their level” (Imbal, 42). Furthermore, because it is a sign of maturity to stop the abuse from escalating, it was up to girls to take control of the situation by ignoring the abuse: “It is better to ignore them because like that they stop their cursing” (Oran, 105); “I usually ignore them because otherwise I will curse back at them, and they will curse at me again. It does not finish” (Arielle, 116). Another strategy allowing female students to ignore the verbal abuse was minimizing its severity by generalizing it. Because everyone dumps on everyone else, there is no point in getting upset or retaliating: “I was really hurt when they called me four-eyed. Now I see that they get on everyone’s case, not only on mine, and sometimes it is for fun” (Danielle, 2). Some female students also argued that they simply did not like to curse, while others argued that they did not have a sufficient supply of curse words in their vocabulary to effectively retaliate.

Geiger, Fischer / Verbal and Emotional Abuse 347

I would have liked to curse back, but I did not have their words. When I am at home I think about what I should have told them, what curse words I should have used. But when they dump on me in class, I do not have the words on the spot to get back at them. (Limor, 1)

Male students realized that female students were more capable than they were at ignoring abuse: “The best way is to ignore them or tell the teacher, but, in fact, it is not like that. Whereas most of the girls do that, most of the boys get even or they hit the guy” (Raphael, 14). At times, however, such ability was devaluated. It was for male students a sign of weakness rather than strength. Too shy or too scared to retaliate, female students simply had no other choice but to ignore verbal abuse. In the words of Doron, “When they curse girls, they are shy and do not react. When it is boys, they always react” (Doron, 74). It is interesting to note that a corrective function was attributed to the ridicule and sarcasm when the quality or characteristic under attack was changeable and under the student’s control. For instance, insulting classmates because of how they dressed was interpreted as constructive criticism. In such cases, the attacked student had to understand the benevolent intention of the criticizing peers and be “grateful” rather than vengeful! In the words of some of the students, When they harass me about something specific, I want to change and improve it. If they make fun of me about something specific, and it happens over and over again, if they say, “You not know how to do this or that,” you have to try to change it. (Ofir, 136)

“They told me ‘Coquecinelle [French word for transvestite], go cut your hair,’ because I have long hair. They make fun of my big nose and eyebrows, which are too thick. They tell me to go fix them” (Avi, 134).

Consequences of Verbal Aggression: Pain and Humiliation Cursing, teasing, and tormenting hurt and humiliate, no matter whether the attacked student considers it to be hostile or meant for fun, and with no intention to hurt: “To enjoy themselves, they make fun of me. I laugh with them. Sometimes they intend to have fun with me, but they hurt my feelings” (Boy, 24). I do not usually show that I care. I have to keep things inside of me. I cannot show that I am hurt; otherwise they will keep on dumping on me. I have to show

348 Journal of Interpersonal Violence

that I don’t give a shit. But I feel like shit. Why do they have to criticize me? (Boy, 130)

“When they attack me I get very hurt, but I do not show it. I do not want to lower myself to their level” (Girl, 46). Pain and humiliation are magnified when the target of the verbal attacks are characteristics that are unchangeable, such as the students’ skin color and ethnicity, or physical impairment. Being ridiculed is especially embarrassing when it occurs in front of the individual’s friends or girlfriend: “They make fun of my color and tell me that I am black. I get really hurt” (Girl, 19); “I get very hurt when they attack something about me that is real” (Boy, 96). It is not fun to be attacked. I feel not good. I feel humiliated when they embarrass me in front of my friends and make fun of my eye [the student had a lazy eye] or of my girlfriend. (Boy, 128)

“They hurt and humiliate me. Once they pulled down my pants in front of my girlfriend. They also called me pistachio, referring to the size of my penis” (Boy, 54).

From Verbal to Physical Abuse When teasing, taunting, and other forms of verbal attack are too much to bear, when the anger and humiliation become intolerable, and the student senses “being set on fire,” then verbal retaliation escalates into physical aggression. All students, without exception, have at least once witnessed, if not experienced, such escalation. In the words of the sixth graders, “Physical violence starts when one side curses or drives the other side mad, or when they drive you mad and get on our nerves. Then you are set on fire, because it hurts” (Boy, 60). When they are not friends and one kid curses the other, the kid asks himself, “Why does he talk to me like that? He is not my friend,” and they start fighting because of a curse. It ends up not being for fun, and they get into a real fight. (Girl, 57)

One of the reasons provided to account for such escalation was being ridiculed in the presence of friends. Such an attack renders the student extremely angry and necessitates physical retaliation. I do not feel good when they harass and dump on me, especially in front of my friends. Then, of course, I get into fights. Sometimes I got hurt, sometimes I

Geiger, Fischer / Verbal and Emotional Abuse 349

won. Sometimes the kids were older so I got hurt. But when they were younger, I would blow their head off. (Boy, 126)

Another reason provided for the escalation from verbal to physical aggression was that that the provocateur had gone too far. A limit was usually reached when the student’s “sensitive spot” was touched, and his or her sense of self and identity were threatened. This was the case when someone or something dear to a student was attacked such as a parent, grandparent, or his or her ethnic group. Rage, pain, and humiliation rendered assaulting the aggressor the only acceptable solution to the student who had been wronged: It depends upon whom they curse. When they cursed my parents or my grandfather who is dead, it really drove me crazy. I wanted to kill them, but they were stronger. But I did not give up. I called my friends and told them, “Here he is!” and they beat him up. (Boy, 79)

“They made fun of my grandmother because she walks crooked and barely moves. I got really mad. They got on my nerves. I had to beat them up” (Boy, 120). When I hit the kid the principal told me that I could have talked to the kid. But it’s nonsense. He cursed my parents in front of other kids. I warned him and asked him to stop. He did not want to stop and kept on attacking me, and he tried to hit me, so I punched him in the face. (Boy, 42)

All students who were verbally abused had felt the anger and the urge to become violent toward those who had hurt their feelings, yet not all of them had acted on this urge. In the words of some girls, “When they bother me, I want to kill them. They curse me and I want to hit them because I am hurt. But at the end, I do not hit” (Girl, 160); “When I get hurt, I want to tear him to pieces. I want to show him that I am not a doll that does not feel anything” (Girl 102). Oftentimes fear of the negative consequences and/or being scared outweighed the desire to aggress and prevented physical aggression. In the words of Liran, They curse at me, and told me “piece of shit, son-of-a-bitch, your mother’s cunt.” I didn’t do anything. I just smiled and kept on going. I do not get hurt from stupidities. But if I knew I would not be punished, I would have hit him or thrown a stone at him. (Boy, 113)

Students who had been physically aggressive when they calmed down usually understood that there were other options. Leaving the room, ignoring the

350 Journal of Interpersonal Violence

other student, counting to 10, taking a deep breath, telling the teacher, reasoning with the child who was verbally abusive, and using humor were some of the solutions they proposed. In their own words, “I do not think that everything bothers me. But I think that it is easy to drive me crazy. They say to count to 10, to take a deep breath. Maybe it is worth trying!” (Girl, 112); “I leave and do not let him come close to me” (Boy, 136).

Teachers’ Reactions to Abusive Interaction Among Classmates Students often perceived their teachers as unable to manage a particularly unruly group of students. Teachers often yelled, threatened punishment, or punished without any success: “There are sometimes riots in class. Kids fight. Once a kid ended up bleeding. The teacher can’t control the kids. When that happens, she goes to the principal, and the principal sends the kids home” (Boy, 135). The teacher is fed up with us. She does not know what to do with us. It started the first day she arrived. She asked for the advice of the school psychologist and spoke to the principal about it. But we keep on relating to her that way. (Girl, 112)

Although students could understand the teachers’ inability to manage a wild class, their apathy and inaction when a particular student was tormented were inexcusable. Teachers’ hands-off policy was interpreted as lack of concern. In the words of the students, “The teacher does not do anything when she sees that one kid bothers the other” (Boy, 72); “The teacher on duty did not do anything, except for putting a little note in his file so that no one complains that she did not do anything” (Boy 103); “My homeroom teacher did not react because it was during the break” (Girl, 31). Students often explained that teachers took action and reacted only when things had gotten out of hand, when verbal abuse had degenerated into physical violence, and students were hurt. At this point, teachers automatically punished the student who was physically aggressive by sending a note to his or her parents, by placing a note in his or her personal file, sending him or her to the principal, or by suspending him or her. Students invariably perceived these methods of punishment to be unfair because they did not take into consideration the circumstances that had precipitated the escalation of verbal aggression to physical aggression. Teachers usually neglected to assign any responsibility to the student who was verbally abusive and who had played a significant part in the

Geiger, Fischer / Verbal and Emotional Abuse 351

escalation of violence: “She never listens to the other side. She automatically blames the kid without hearing his side” (Girl, 54). A kid told me “stupid and ugly!” I got really mad and threw a chair at him. His glasses broke. The teacher yelled at me and did not let me go on the annual field trip. She did not even talk to the other kid. (Girl, 64)

Students expected their teachers to show more care and concern. They also complained that teachers rarely offered any constructive solutions. Ignoring the student who was verbally aggressive and/or advising students to ignore the verbal abuse they had been subjected to was far from sufficient. A student exclaimed, One of the kids told me I am a “stinky Russian.” I told the teacher, but she said to ignore them and did not do anything. She told me to just ignore everybody. How can I? I cannot take it anymore! (Boy, 119)

Students did not deny that at times pupils deserved to be punished, but they requested fair punishment: “The homeroom teacher should talk to them, listen to both sides and discuss with them what type of punishment they should get” (Boy, 123). A kid who has been beaten up should be able to tell the teacher and the parents to get help. The kid who hit should be suspended. But the teachers do not relate to that. They do not do anything when we complain. (Boy, 113)

Ultimately, many if not most of the students had reached the conclusion that verbal and physical abuse could not be prevented. For fun or not, verbal abuse was for them an integral part of school reality. They did not really believe that things could ever change. Consequently, many of the students had given up looking for solutions. In the students’ own words: “You must curse back and get even! I do not think that it can ever stop. It is part of our everyday life” (Boy, 129); “Nothing can change” (Boy, 129); “The best solution is to ignore the attack and go on. But there is really no solution” (Girl, 47). Perceiving the teacher’s lack of reaction and unable to tell their parents, students often expressed disappointment. For them, attending school is a nonpleasurable and psychologically unsafe experience. Usually I do not tell my parents, but I told my mother once that it was not fun to be at school. There are fights, they curse you and hit you. Then they kicked me out of school when I got into a fight. I do not understand. Why only me? (Boy, 7)

352 Journal of Interpersonal Violence

“Being verbally harassed really hurts and lowers my morale. At times, I do not want to go to school because of the lousy atmosphere” (Boy, 82).

Discussion The current qualitative study was based on in-depth interviews with 145 sixth graders who were given the opportunity to tell in their own words what they felt and how they reacted when subjected to verbal and emotional abuse from their classmates. Interview data reveals that any student may become the target of harassment when he or she does not fit into the mold of the ideal sixth grader in terms of physical characteristics, weight, height, hair or dress style, skin color, ethnicity, country of origin, religion, or athletic competence. The reaction of the student who was verbally assaulted was determined by whether he or she interpreted the assault as being “for fun” or not. It is to be noted that the differentiation between “for fun” and “not for fun” superseded all other categories. It is interesting that this was a differentiation that the researchers were initially completely unaware of. After a couple of interviews in which such a differentiation was discovered, questions were added to the interview guide to probe what students meant by being verbally or physically attacked for fun, as opposed to not for fun. Several contextual cues such as the kind of relationship between the aggressor and the student who was aggressed, and the nonverbal expressions of the aggressor and the presence of other classmates, often helped the aggressed student to clarify the intended meaning of the message. For instance, a friend smiling while insulting his or her friend in the presence of other smiling classmates, or other students smiling and adding the utterance “just for fun!” enabled the aggressed student to interpret the message as seemingly harmless, not meant to hurt. By contrast, when the aggressed student was verbally assaulted in the presence of classmates who did not laugh with, but at, him or her, the message caused pain and anger and was interpreted as “not being for fun.” The normative expectation for male students was to retaliate in order to avenge their honor and to show that they were neither scared, nor suckers. However, special circumstances limited the opportunity for retaliation. Being assaulted by stronger students who could easily hurt the student or the presence of the teacher or principal who would punish the student made the price of retaliation too high a price to pay. In such cases, crying was one of the ways to release anger and frustration. The findings of the current study indicate pronounced gender differences in students’ reaction to verbal abuse. When the verbal attack and ridicule tar-

Geiger, Fischer / Verbal and Emotional Abuse 353

geted characteristics that the female students were able to change, such as having braces or wearing a bra, but were not intrinsic or essential to their identity, they usually did not resort to verbal retaliation. Girls were able to rationalize away ridicule and sarcasm attributing it to boys’ immaturity rather to their personal inadequacy. Feeling superior and more mature, they were the ones to control the provocative situation and prevent it from escalating. However, when the verbal abuse targeted permanent, unchangeable characteristics that were inherent to their social identity and self-image, such as ethnic origin, color, or physical impairment, then female students felt the need to react violently as much as male students. These unchangeable characteristics often constituted for students of both genders’ “hot spots” that once targeted for attack automatically led to physical aggression, or at least to the strong desire to physically aggress. The escalation from verbal to physical abuse was, therefore, related not only to the interpretation of the initiating behaviors, for example, as being for fun and not intended to hurt, but also to the malleability of the personal characteristics and/or persons who were the topic of ridicule. Attacks on characteristics that were permanent and unchangeable intensified the pain, humiliation, and frustration and produced anger. By contrast, when the topic of ridicule was changeable and possibly under the student’s control, such as his or her manner of dressing or hair style, then the attack was often viewed as less offensive, or even constructive, intended to help the student change and improve his or her looks. In conclusion, whenever verbally aggressive messages targeted any object or characteristic at the core of the student’s sense of self or identity, they triggered extreme emotions of humiliation, pain, and anger and physiologically aroused the student making him or her ready to fight the abuse. In short, students can rarely endure attacks on disabilities or features that are essential to self-concept and beyond the students’ control to change, such as their parents or ethnic background. The findings of the current study support those of Anderson and Bushman (2002) that escalation from verbal to physical aggression is a multistage process that involves cognitive, affective, and physiological components. Situational variables and verbal attacks that target a personal characteristic that is perceived to be permanent and inherent to the attacked student’s sense of self and identity will generate humiliation, pain, and frustration and prime aggression-related feelings, anger, and loss of control. Simultaneously, the student will experience a negative state of arousal often expressed by “setting his head on fire” and appraise the situation in light of hostile thoughts and aggressive scripts such as “I must kill him to make him stop.” He or she perceives this as the only possible solution to avenge his honor and restore justice. In the absence of restraining factors such as teacher presence, fear of

354 Journal of Interpersonal Violence

punishment, and stronger students, the hostile cognitions, negative affects, and arousal of students who are verbally aggressed result his or her venting his or her rage by assaulting the aggressor. Future research derived from this qualitative data could inquire into personal strength, cognitive scripts, and attribution biases that render female students more immune to sarcasm and ridicule. Such research would explore how and why females are better able to assess and fear the negative consequences of aggression, and more prone to flight rather than fight when considering retaliating. The question to be addressed is whether such strength is related to female temperament or to differential gender socialization. Another topic to be investigated is modeling of peer prosocial behavior. Past research has often stressed the importance of peers in modeling and reinforcing antisocial behavior (Bandura, 1973). Future research will examine the positive role that peers could play in diffusing tension and preventing aggression.

Implications for Practitioners Sixth graders’ detailed and explicit communications regarding how they felt and reacted when subjected to verbal and emotional abuse from classmates support the findings of other studies concerning students’ vulnerability to the sarcasm, ridicule, and verbal abuse from their peers (Berndt & Keefe, 1996; Berryman & Breighner, 1994; Boulton & Smith, 1994; Coopersmith, 1967; Newman, 2003; Simmons, Rosenberg, & Rosenberg, 1973; Tse, 1999). Such abuse scars young students and destroys their emerging sense of self-confidence and their motivation to attend school and learn. Practitioners must take into account the importance of peer confirmation for the development of a positive sense of self and social and ethnic identity. Furthermore, the positive influence of peers should be capitalized on in future violence prevention programs. A potent violence escalation prevention strategy would be to instruct peers present in verbally abusive interactions on how to reduce tension by minimizing the attributed malevolent intention of the attacker or the harm of the verbally abusive message by redefining the aggressive act as “just for fun.” The research of Newman (2003) and Hopmeyer & Asher (1997) found that male students abstained from seeking their teacher’s help, as female students often did. However, this finding was not related to male students’ veneration of power and control but to the fact that they had, in the past, several times attempted but failed to obtain such help. The lack of teachers’ action and ignoring the verbal abuse that is occurring between peers are often interpreted as a lack of teachers’ concern. More proactive and fair discipline strat-

Geiger, Fischer / Verbal and Emotional Abuse 355

egies could be adopted to create a structured and supportive environment in which mutual respect replaces the verbal and physical aggression that is taking place in classrooms.

Note 1. The interviewees have been identified by their gender and an identification number ranging from 1 to 145.

References Anderson, A., & Bushman, C. (2002). Human aggression. Annual Review: Psychology, 53, 27-51. APA Help Center–Facts and Statistics. (2002). Warning signs of youth violence . Retrieved October 17, 2005, from www.apahelpcenter.org/articles/topic.php?id=6 Bandura, A. (1973). Aggression: A social learning analysis. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall. Beatty, M. J., Zelley, J. R., Dobos, J. A., & Rudd, J. E. (1994). Fathers’trait verbal aggressiveness and argumentativeness as predictors of adult sons’perceptions of fathers’sarcasm, criticism, and verbal aggression. Communication Quarterly, 42, 407-415. Benbenishty, R., Astor, R., & Zeira, A. (1998). Violence in the school [Unpublished first report in Hebrew]. Jerusalem: Hebrew University, Social Work Department. Berndt, T. J., & Keefe, K. (1996). Friends’influence on school adjustment: A motivational analysis. In J. Juvonen & K. R. Wentzel (Eds.), Social motivation: Understanding children’s school adjustment (pp. 248-278). Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press. Bernzweig, J., Eisenberg, N., & Fabes, R. A. (1993). Children’s coping in self and other relevant contexts. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, 55, 208-226. Berryman, J. C., & Breighner, K. W. (1994). Modeling healthy behavior: Actions and attitudes in schools. Santa Cruz, CA: ETR Associates. (ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. ED 364812) Boulton, M., & Smith, P. (1994). Bully/victim problems in middle-school children: Stability, self-perceived competence, peer perception and peer acceptance. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 12, 315-329. Charmaz, K. (1991). Translating graduate qualitative methods into undergraduate teaching: Intensive interviewing as a case example. Teaching Sociology, 19, 384-395. Cooley, C. H. (1902). Human nature and the social order. New York: Scribner. Coopersmith, S. (1967). The antecedents of self-esteem. San Francisco: Freeman. Crick, N. R., & Grotpeter, J. K. (1995). Relational aggression, gender, and social-psychological adjustment. Child Development, 66, 710-722. Denzin, N. K. (1989). Interpretive interactionism. Newbury Park, CA: Sage. Eccles, J. S., & Blumenfeld, P. (1985). Classroom experiences and student gender: Are there differences and do they matter? In L. C. Wilkinson & C. B. Marrett (Eds.), Gender differences in classroom interaction (pp. 79-114). New York: Academic Press. Eisenberg, N., & Fabes, R. A. (1992). Emotion, self-regulation, and social competence. Review of personality and social psychology, 14,119-150). Erikson, E. H. (1963). Childhood and society (2nd ed.). New York: Norton.

356 Journal of Interpersonal Violence Holsti, O. (1969). Content analysis for social science and humanistics. Reading, MA: AddisonWesley. Hoover, J., Oliver, R., & Hauler, R. (1992). Bullying: Perceptions of adolescent victim in midwestern USA. School Psychology International, 13, 5-16. Hopmeyer, A., & Asher, S. R. (1997). Children’s responses to peer conflicts involving a rights infraction. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 43, 235-254. Infante, D. A. (1987). Aggressiveness. In J. C. McCroskey & A. Daly (Eds.), Personality and interpersonal communication (pp. 157-194). Newbury Park, CA: Sage Infante, D. A. (1988). Arguing constructively. Prospect Heights, IL: Waveland Press. Infante, D. A. (1995).Teaching students to understand and control verbal aggression. Communication Education, 44, 51-63. Infante, D. A., & Rancer, A. S. (1996). Arguementativeness and verbal aggressiveness: A review of recent theory and research. Communication Yearbook, 19, 319-351. Infante, D. A., Riddle, B. L., Horvath, C. L., & Tumlin, S. A. (1992). Verbal aggressiveness: Messages and reasons. Communication Quarterly, 40, 116-126. Infante, D. A., & Wigley, C. J. (1986). Verbal aggressiveness: An interpersonal model and measure. Communication Monographs, 53, 61-68. Juvonen, J., & Graham, S. (2001). Preface. In J. Juvonen & S. Graham (Eds.), Peer harassment in school: The plight of the vulnerable and victimized (pp. xiii-xvi). New York: Guilford. Klein, H. A. (1995). Self-perception in late adolescence: An interactive perspective. Adolescence, 30, 579-591. Lincoln, Y. S., & Guba, E. G. (1985). Naturalist inquiry. Beverly Hills, CA: Sage. Martin, M. M., & Anderson, C. M. (1995). Roommate similarity: Are roommates who are similar in their communication traits more satisfied? Communication Research Reports, 12, 46-52. Miller, P. M., Danaher, D. L., & Forbes, D. (1986). Sex-related strategies for coping with interpersonal conflict in children aged five and seven. Developmental Psychology, 22, 543-548. Newman, R. (2003). When elementary school students are harassed by peers: A self-regulative perspective on help seeking. Elementary School Journal, 103(4), 339-356. Patton, M. Q. (2002). Qualitative research and evaluation methods (3rd ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Rancer, A. S., Avtgis, T. A., Kosberg, R. L., & Whitecap, V. G. (2000). A longitudinal assessment of trait argumentativeness and verbal aggressiveness between seventh and eight grades. Communication Education, 49(1), 114-119. Rancer, A. S., Whitecap, V. G., Kosberg, R. L., & Avtgis, T. A. (1997). Testing the efficacy of a communication training program to increase argumentativeness and argumentative behavior in adolescents. Communication Education, 46, 273-286. Richard, J. (2001). Disarming the rage: Students abusing students. People Weekly, 55(22), 54–61. Rosenthal, S. L., & Simeonsson, R. J. (1989). Emotional disturbances and the development of self-consciousness in adolescence. Adolescence, 24, 689-698. Sabourin, T. (1995). The role of negative reciprocity in spouse abuse: A relational control analysis. Journal of Applied Communication Research, 23, 271-283. Simmons, R., Rosenberg, F., & Rosenberg, M. (1973). Disturbance in the self-image at adolescence. American Sociological Review, 38, 553-568. Smith, E. J. (1991). Ethnic identity development: Toward the development of a theory within the context of majority/minority status. Journal of Counseling and Development, 770, 181-188. Sommer, B. B. (1978). Puberty and adolescence. New York: Oxford University Press. Strauss, A. (1987). Qualitative analysis for social scientists. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.

Geiger, Fischer / Verbal and Emotional Abuse 357 Tse, L. (1999). Finding a place to be: Ethnic identity exploration of Asian-American. Adolescence, 34, 121-138. Yeh, C. J., & Huang, K. (1996). The collectivistic nature of ethnic identity development among Asian-American college students. Adolescence, 31, 645-661.

Brenda Geiger, Ph.D., is a social change philosopher and an educational psychologist. She has earned a Ph.D. in educational psychology and statistics, a Ph.D. in legal philosophy, an MA in criminology, an MS in educational psychology, and a teaching diploma. She is a senior lecturer at Bar-Ilan University, Western Galilee and Safed campuses. She has conducted several studies on verbal abuse among couples and schoolchildren. Her firm belief is that physical violence starts from verbal abuse. Her current research is on the daily means of resistance of battered women. She has authored several books. Her articles have appeared in reputable scientific journals such as Aggression and Violent Behavior: A Review Journal, International Journal of Offender Therapy and Comparative Criminology, Journal of Offender Rehabilitation, and Humanity and Society. Michael Fischer is an American criminologist who has earned a Ph.D. in criminal justice, a master’s in social work, and a master’s in educational psychology. He is a licensed social worker and a trained drug court evaluator. He is an assistant professor at Norfolk State University, Virginia. He is the author of two books, Family Justice and Delinquency (1995) and Reform Through Community (1995) and has written several articles appearing in reputable scientific journals such as Aggression and Violent Behavior: A Review Journal, International Journal of Offender Therapy and Comparative Criminology, Journal of Interpersonal Violence, and Journal of Offender Rehabilitation. His current research is based on the narratives of female drug court participants suffering from co-occurring disorders.